by Marie James
“Might as well finish,” I chirp.
“Camryn.” His throat works on a swallow, and the sight of it working makes my mouth run drier than the hike has already made it.
“Let’s go.”
I turn in his arms and move faster than I have all day to catch up with the others.
By the time we make the summit, the others are looking out over the Colorado landscape in awe. It’s a beautiful sight, but I can’t enjoy it to it’s fullest with all the thoughts banging around in my head.
“Isn’t it gorgeous, sweet girl?” Jameson is turning Amelia, who’s now out of the carrier and in his arms. She’s fast asleep, but that doesn’t matter to him. He’s including her. He’s making memories with his family. When Gigi steps up and wraps an arm around his back, I melt. She’s peering up at him with the softest smile on her face.
It’s a beautiful sight, and the three of them standing there so happy and so in love with their tiny little bundle makes me wonder if I’m broken. I can appreciate a loving family. I can be happy that Amelia has landed herself a pretty amazing set of parents.
But even the sight of them doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing out by not wanting kids. This is their happiness, but I have no interest in making it mine. That makes me feel broken. Society says women are supposed to have an urge to be mothers. It’s in the female make-up. It’s DNA deep to want to procreate and repopulate. It’s in the male make-up as well. Spreading their seed and making little replicas is a part of nature.
“No,” I hiss.
“What’s that?” Samson, always right by my side, overhears me. Of course, he does.
“Nothing,” I mutter, but in my mind, I’m reminding myself that it’s okay not to want children.
My internal pep talk is still going strong when the others are ready to make the descent, so I turn to follow them down. Samson doesn’t allow it. He grabs my hand and pulls me behind a rock that prevents the others from seeing us.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I lie again. He doesn’t need to know about my existential crisis. This isn’t a ‘him’ problem; it’s a ‘me’ problem.
When he was watching Jameson with Amelia earlier, he had a grin on his face, but there wasn’t a burning desire in his eyes that revealed his need for children either. I think he was telling me the truth last night when he said he wanted to be the cool uncle, but fathering children wasn’t part of his game plan.
The only catch to that is the man is twenty-one. Not many men I’ve met in my lifetime want children at that age. After maturing, or by prodding and pressure from the women in their lives, men decide having babies is what they want.
“What is going on up there?” His index finger taps my temple. He presses his finger over my lips when I open my mouth to respond. “And don’t say nothing.”
“Are you sure you don’t want children?”
“What?”
I know the question seems to be out of the blue, but it really isn’t. We had the conversation last night. He just seems to have forgotten about it quicker than I have.
“Children?” I repeat. “What if you change your mind in ten years?”
“I won’t.”
“You seem sure.”
“Because I am.”
“Things could change for you.”
“I don’t want children.” His brow furrows as he watches my face. “I’m not going to change my mind. Are you changing your mind? I saw how you watched Hound earlier with Amelia.”
“What do you think you saw?”
“Mixed emotions. But, instead of making me guess what you’re thinking, why don’t you use your mouth like a big girl and tell me what exactly has you so spaced today.”
When he says like a big girl, his eyes dart to my lips, and it’s easy to tell he’s thinking about what my big girl mouth did to him last night.
“I don’t want children. I’m not going to want children, but at the same time, I’m afraid down the road you’re going to want them. It’ll still be a hard limit for me in ten years. You won’t change my mind.”
His teeth dig into his plump bottom lip as he presses his hips closer. His erection is thick and needy in his shorts.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you’ve already accepted the fact that we’ll still be together in ten years.” He pushes harder against me. “It makes me want to fuck you right here.”
“I didn’t say that,” I argue, unable to keep a smile from tugging at the corner of my mouth.
“You insinuated.”
After nipping at my bottom lip, making me moan and leaving me wanting exactly what he just suggested, he pulls his face back. The soft look he had earlier is back full force, and the scrutiny of his gaze makes me tremble. This is it. He’s going to say it. He’s going to own me after this, and there’s nothing I’ll be able to do about it.
“If we don’t start heading down, everyone is going to wonder where we are,” I say, needing just a little more time to wrap my head around loving this man. It’s one thing to accept it in my mind, but something wholly different to put that information out for anyone else, especially the man in question.
“I have no doubt Lawson, Hound, and Cannon know exactly what we’re up to,” he says.
“It’s rude to make them wait.”
“Okay.” He nods slowly but doesn’t make a move to pull away from me. “But when we get back to the hotel, we’re not leaving the room until it’s time to go tomorrow.”
“Deal,” I agree.
Chapter 31
Samson
“I need to go to the gym more often,” Cam complains just before falling face-first on the tiny sofa in our hotel room.
I’m enthralled by the sight of her long legs splayed just enough that I can see the shadows of what fills my dreams each night as her shorts gape open.
“Are you staring at my ass?”
“No.” It’s an honest answer because I’m looking a couple of inches lower. “But something else definitely has all of my attention.”
“I’m gross and sweaty.”
Her words are muffled from her face being buried in the couch cushion.
“So, let’s grab a shower.”
“You may have to carry me.”
“I can do that,” I offer.
She must not think I was being serious because she jolts when I reach down and grip her waist.
“Can’t we take a nap first? I’ve used all of my energy.”
“We can’t both fit on that couch, and we can’t get in the bed dirty. Up.” I dig my fingers into her sides, something I’ve discovered makes her laugh while also thoroughly pissing her off.
Being ticklish is a weakness, and there’s nothing Cam hates more than people being aware of her weaknesses.
“Stop!” Her shrill scream fills the room a second before the laughter starts.
“Get up.” I tickle her again.
“You made promises on the mountain,” she wheezes as she tries to scramble away from me. “I barely have the energy for that now. If you keep this shit up, I’ll be a dead fish in bed later.”
“I seriously doubt that,” I respond, but pull my hands back just in case.
The look she gives me when she turns over and sits up tells me that she also doubts she can just lay there while I’m inside of her. The woman is an animal in bed, and damn if I don’t love her for it.
“Shower. Let’s go.” Holding out my hand, I wait for her to grab it, so I can haul her off the couch.
She refuses to let me undress her, swatting my hands away when I reach for her. She explains again how dirty she feels, only giving me a weak smile when I remind her that I want her no matter the conditions she’s in, but she doesn’t relent. She also doesn’t take her eyes off me as I strip down. The heat from her gaze ensures that I’m rock solid by the time I pull the shower curtain back and climb inside with her.
“You’re always erect,” she observes after dipping
her head under the shower and finding me casually stroking my dick.
“Can’t help it.” I shrug, not the slightest ashamed of showing her how she makes me feel. “You better get used to it. I don’t imagine it’s going to change anytime soon.”
“Is that so?” She doesn’t touch me, but as she soaps up her hands and runs them over her arms before spreading the bubbles over her perfect tits, she watches my hand work my cock.
“Touch me,” I beg, stepping closer to her.
“How about I touch myself instead?”
I like this idea even better, amazed with finding a woman who not only gets shy at the prospect but puts the offer on the table in the first place.
I don’t have to respond because she’s rinsing off the soap and trailing her hand between her legs before I get the chance to.
“That’s amazing,” I praise. “Just like that first night. Jesus, Cam, you check everything off my fucking list.”
“Mmm,” is her response as her stomach tightens when she hits the top of her clit. “I was so naughty that night.”
“I loved it.”
Her hand freezes at the juncture between her legs, stuttering over her wet flesh before moving again.
That’s all I needed to know. She froze like a deer caught in headlights last night when I was fixing to tell her I loved her, much like she responded now with the word. I shove it to the back of my head. I can appreciate that she’s not ready, so I’ll keep it to myself until I’m sure she won’t go running for the hills when I do finally say it. There are other ways to show this woman how I feel without blurting those three life-changing words.
“Does it feel good, baby?”
“Yes,” she pants, her eyes still laser-focused on my stroking hand. “I’m going to come.”
I didn’t think I was close until her words infiltrated my system and shot down to my balls.
“Me, too,” I confess. “Let me hear you.”
On display, with nothing to block her face, in the light of day, Camryn Davison whimpers and moans the sweetest symphony of pleasure I’ve ever heard her make outside of me being inside of her. Her legs tremble as her fingers work her clit faster, and that’s all it takes to send me over the edge. My grunts and the cuss words that leave my mouth fade into the distance as all I can focus on is her release. My cum shoots out, coating her lower stomach only to be washed down the drain immediately after.
“That was amazing,” I praise. “I don’t think I’ve come that hard from jacking off before.
A smug smile turns her pink lips up, and she reaches up and presses a quick kiss to my lips before squirting shampoo on her hand to finish her shower.
She finishes before I do, not letting me under the spray until she’s completely done. As I soap up my own body while she towels off on the bathmat, it gives me time to think about what we’ve done since we ran into each other in the elevator all those weeks ago.
“Do you think we have too much sex?”
“That’s a ridiculous question for a guy to ask,” Cam responds.
“I just don’t want this to only be about sex.” As the words leave my mouth, I realize just how dumb they sound. Most guys wouldn’t give a damn about other aspects of a relationship. If the sex was good and frequent, they’d see that as a good sign that the relationship is going strong. “I need this to be more than just sex.”
She has a contemplative look on her face when I turn off the water and pull the shower curtain back.
“I don’t think it’s just sex. I don’t want just sex either.”
“No?” My heart is out of control in my chest. Even after the ‘wait to say it’ pep talk I gave myself just moments ago, I’m feeling the urge again already.
“No. I also want you to rub my ass and quads because I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow if you don’t.”
“So, sex and massages? That’s it?”
I take the towel she offers me, ecstatic that she doesn’t leave the room while I dry off. Even after coming just a few minutes ago, my cock still jerks when her eyes are on me.
“That’s part of it.” Her face grows soft, and I can tell she looks more through me rather than at me as she runs through memories. “Coming to the hospital when I was having a bad day made me feel special. Bringing me dinner that first night, even though I didn’t really want you there turned out good.”
“I always want to be near you, and being near you… well…” I drop the towel to the floor and point at my hard dick. “I can’t help it that this happens.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I just don’t want you to think that I’m only sticking around because I want to fuck you.”
“I don’t think that at all.” She pauses. “I know you also like blow jobs.”
Her smile is wide as she tries to cover her body when I come at her with my hands up, preparing to tickle her again. I don’t touch her on her sides, right below her ribcage where she responds the strongest. I wrap my arms around her and pull her body to my naked chest, tilting her chin up so she’ll look me in the eye.
“I want everything with you,” I confess. “I want to hold your hair back when you get sick. I want to complain when you press your frozen toes to my legs in the middle of the night. I want to wake up to your smiling face every day.”
“I want those things, too.”
Her lips are soft and warm and just absolutely perfect when she presses them to mine.
“But,” I tell her taking a step back and slapping her on the ass, “I think we need to maybe chill with all the sex. Find a way to make memories where I’m not inside of you while you praise me for my skills.”
“Is that how you see it?” She turns to leave the bathroom, and I’m right on her heels.
“That’s how it is.”
“Seems your memory is a little skewed. As I see it, you’re the one always rolling your eyes into the back of your head when you slide inside. You bite your lip each time trying to hold back the words you want to shout from the glorious feel of my pu—”
“Enough.” I clamp a hand over her mouth. I won’t be able to stick to my less frequent sex rules if I hear her say the word pussy out loud.
When she bites my hand, I almost throw the idea out the window.
I urge her to get dressed, and I do the same.
“So we’ll just watch a little TV then?” She points the remote at the screen, scrolling to find anything worth watching.
She doesn’t find shit but pauses on an infomercial about some cleaning product.
“Stain remover. Really?”
“It’s the only thing on righ—”
Her words are interrupted by a bang on the wall behind the TV.
“What was that?”
“That’s Cannon’s room,” I remind her when the bang becomes a rhythmic tattoo. The low feminine moan leaves nothing to the imagination.
“Seriously?” Her eyes widen, but I see her head tilt to the side, so she can hear better.
A low masculine voice can be heard, but the words are indecipherable.
“Do you think it’s that girl he was flirting with on the trail?”
“Probably.” I don’t tell her that he probably banged that girl already and went out to find someone else.
Before she can speak again, there’s another loud bump, only this time it’s coming from behind our heads rather than across the room.
“Oh. My. God,” she hisses, but the smile on her face is wide.
“Looks like we’re getting it from both sides.”
“I guess this is why Gigi asked Ivy and Griffin to watch Amelia.”
I laugh when I really want to moan. “Do you want to leave? Get out of the room so we don’t have to listen to it?”
“No.” Her answer is immediate. “Do you?”
“It’s fucked up, but it’s kind of turning me on. I’m hard.” I pull the blanket back and show her the erection straining against my boxer briefs.
“And I’m wet.”
&nb
sp; Fuck. My. Life.
“We were going to slow down on sex, make our relationship more meaningful with other things,” I remind her.
“Let’s start that tomorrow.”
I don’t agree with the new plans by speaking. I answer her by sliding her panties down and showing her just how I feel about it.
Chapter 32
Camryn
“This is a big step,” Charli says as she covers the tiny incision in my arm with a square bandage before wrapping it with some gauze.
“Not really.”
“Long-term birth control for a woman who never wanted any type of chemicals in her body? I’d disagree.”
“This is what’s best for us.”
“So, you guys are an ‘us’ now?”
My smile is my answer.
“It takes a full week to be effective, but you should wait a full cycle before going without protection. I’m obligated to tell you that it lasts three years, and it will not stop the spread of STDs or sexually transmitted infections.”
“Thank you, Dr. Burch,” I reply with sarcasm.
Charli nods, standing from the stool and getting rid of the trash from the procedure.
“Are you okay?”
She hasn’t said much, and we didn’t get to spend much time together while we were in Colorado. I’d blame my infatuation with Samson on that, but she was the one who made herself scarce the entire time we were there.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re still going to be fine when you go on days later this week?”
I’m switching over to night shifts for the next month, and that puts Charli side-by-side with Dr. Hunter for most of her shifts.
“I don’t really like the sunshine all that much, but I’ll survive.”
“That’s not what I’m asking about.”
“I’ll be fine. Is there anything else you need before I head home?”
“No,” I answer with a frown.
She blows a kiss and leaves me alone in the room. She’s distant, and that irritates me, more so since I started my period the day we left Colorado, but there’s nothing I can do. I know she has to deal with what she’s going through on her own. I’d want the same thing, but as her friend, I can’t help but want to be her sounding board.
