Mending a Highland Heart: Healing him was more scandalous than she ever imagined…

by Kendrick, Kenna

  Charlotte was all alone with Angus. He had slept peacefully for hours, and she was grateful for it. His face looked placid, and he had barely moved since she’d arrived. But she knew that he would need to take sustenance soon. Even if sleep was a healing tonic, he had lacked in food and water for too long. She needed to get him to consume something.

  Luckily enough, it was like Angus had heard her thoughts, and he began to stir. Her stomach tightened nervously. Would he speak again? What would she say to him? Her heart sputtered into quickened life, beating against her chest. He groaned slightly, and his green eyes flickered open.

  For a moment, he laid there, staring up at the ceiling, but then he tried to push himself to sit up. He was only slightly successful because of his weakness, but when he turned his head to the side, he froze. “Charlotte,” he whispered, his voice raspy from lack of use and lack of liquid. “Ye came.”

  With those words, her heart fell. He hadn’t remembered that she’d arrived? And maybe his miraculous recovery had nothing to do with her? She cleared her throat. “Yes, Angus. I have come. I heard you weren’t well, and Liam came to fetch me.” She had trouble meeting his green stare. “Come, please drink this.” She handed him a cup of cold water and a cup of herbed broth. “Mrs. MacLean will also bring up some food for you once I send the word.”

  Angus clutched onto the cups, and Charlotte kept her hands there assisting him, noticing how weak he’d become. He drank the water gratefully, and Charlotte watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed fast. Then she handed him the herbs, and he drank that down quickly as well.

  “When did ye come?” he asked, his face already looking a little brighter and his voice a little clearer.

  “This morning, but I’d heard you’d been sick for a couple of days.”

  “Yer father let ye come?”

  She replied, “Well, he does not know I am here. He is off on business, so I took the opportunity to come. I will explain it to him later that I was doing business for Julia.”

  “Business.” He repeated her words and closed his eyes, sighing.

  After a few moments pause, Charlotte said, “Angus, why did you call for me?” She knew it was not the proper time, but it spilled out. Her heart was too eager. After she’d asked it, she regretted it once she saw the pain in Angus’ face.

  She started to talk again, “Oh, I’m sorry…this is not the…”

  Angus cut her off, saying. “Ye heard that?” She looked up to see him watching her, his face a little sheepish.

  She nodded. “And Liam mentioned it to me as well.”

  “Traitor.” He smirked. “Aye, well, ‘twas because I knew I was ill and needed yer help.” His words came out haltingly as if he struggled to think of what to say.

  Charlotte’s disappointment lay on her breast like a weight. So, it had nothing to do with any feelings he might have harbored for her. But she kept her voice clear of it. “Ah, I see. Well, it was good fortune that I could come then. Once I arrived, you slept soundly for hours. I hope that you will begin to feel better. You seem to be on the mend, so there is no reason for me to stay.”

  She rose and turned to go, her cheeks flaming red from his slight dismissal. “I will tell Mrs. MacLean to send the food up for you. You do not seem to be suffering from the same illness as the villagers, but you should still eat some of the fruits and vegetables. I wish you well, Angus.”

  She opened the door but then heard in a low, pained voice, “Dinnae go, lass.”

  She paused and then turned back. “What?”

  He grimaced slightly as he shifted his weight on the bed, sitting up even straighter, his bare chest completely in her view. “I said dinnae go. I need ye tae stay.”

  She closed the door, her heart fluttering in her chest. “You want me to stay here until you feel better?”

  He nodded slowly. “Aye, but ‘tis more than that. There is something I need tae tell ye.” But then, he clutched his head and sunk back onto the sheets.

  Charlotte rushed to his side. “I’m sorry, Angus, I should not have troubled you with this conversation. Sleep. We can talk tomorrow, once you’ve awoken.”

  “But…”

  “Do not trouble yourself.” She sat next to him and laid a hand on his arm. “Sleep. You can eat once you awake. ‘Twill only be a bit of boiled cabbage.”

  Angus grimaced at her words, and she chuckled. “Even in illness, you wish to show your disgust at my instructions?”

  He tried to smile, but then Charlotte said again, “You must rest, and I have work to do.”

  He leaned up slightly, painfully. “But, please tell me ye willnae go, lass. I want tae see ye in the morning.”

  She smiled, holding the doorknob. “I will, Angus. I will see you then. Don’t go dying in the night.”

  She left her heart light, wondering what on Earth had transpired in that room.

  * * *

  She was thinking of leaving. The words racked around Angus’ brain painfully as he felt their meaning. She would leave, possibly for good, and then he wouldn’t get the chance to tell her anything. He was a coward. He couldn’t tell her just then why he really wanted her to stay, not when he felt like his head was getting crushed by axes, and his body felt leaden.

  He had to wait until he was strong and healthy, and he could do something about it. She actually came. Charlotte Andrews put everything aside, and she came to see him. To see if he was all right. The thought made him happier than he’d been in a long, long time. Maybe there was hope that she had put her anger aside. He knew she cared about human life, but after he saw how hurt she’d been when he read her letter, he had no expectation that she would come back for him.

  Thanks to Liam and Mrs. MacLean, she was here. Now all he had to do was get better, and then he would have the strength to bloody do something. He imagined all the things he would do when he felt better if she would allow him, of course. He didn’t want to waste another minute of time, not after his illness, and since she had limited time to visit.

  He settled himself to sleep. Bloody Hell, he would sleep if it killed him. He wanted to be ready for her visit come morning. He might even be able to take a bath before she arrived so that he could be presentable. Either way, he was going to say to Charlotte what he needed to say.

  * * *

  Charlotte left the room and leaned against the cool stone in the hallway just outside Angus’ door. She was smiling. She touched her fingers to her lips. She couldn’t help it. He was alive and well and conscious enough to tell her that he wanted to see her in the morning. He had something he wanted to say to her. At first, when he’d told her that he just wanted her by his side so that she’d heal him, her heart felt like it was breaking.

  But why should she care so much whether he felt anything for her or not? She couldn’t marry him. Nothing could come of it. But she confessed to herself that she did want to kiss him again, just one last time. It could be the last time forever, and she wanted to savor it. But, she wasn’t sure that he’d be well enough by the time she had to leave. She decided she would head to her old room and write to her father right away so that the letter could be sent in the morning and be there when he returned from his journey.

  She rushed off to find Mrs. MacLean. She was on her way to bring up the cabbage to Angus, but Charlotte stopped her. “Oh, Mrs. MacLean, I am sorry. He has fallen asleep again. But, he was up and talking to me for a few minutes. I’ve sent him to bed, and I hope that with a full night’s sleep, he shall be almost fully healed.”

  Mrs. MacLean smiled. “I cannae think what his illness could have been, Mistress Charlotte! How strange! We thought he was upon his deathbed, but ye have been his angel and brought him back from the grave.”

  Charlotte smiled without realizing that she beamed. “I do not think he was near death, but it did appear so. I think he’s only exhausted from all that he’s had to do. It’s as if he hasn’t slept in days, and he has so many things on his mind to do with the clan. Is there anyt
hing I can do while he is incapacitated? I would like to stay the evening if it’s not too much trouble.”

  Mrs. MacLean’s face broke into a large grin. “Of course! I shall send the servants tae prepare yer old quarters, my dear! They shall even draw a bath for ye this evening. And then, we can go visit the villagers if ye like, once ye’ve had a bit of tea tae strengthen ye.”

  Charlotte smiled. “Thank you, Mrs. MacLean. That would be lovely. I hope that the vegetables were enough to give to all those who needed them.”

  “Oh, my dear, ye should have seen their faces! I went tae see them once they’d received it, and they couldnae have been happier. There is so much! But come, we shall go and see how they fare, although it has only been one day since the vegetables were delivered. Come to the Hall; we shall have tea, and if ye dinnae mind, ye shall tell me all about yer father.”

  Charlotte wanted to cry. She had never met such kindness and warmth, and it soothed the emptiness that she felt at the loss of her mother even though it had been so long ago. She waited in the Hall patiently while tea was sought, and she stared into the flames in the hearth. Should she tell Mrs. MacLean of her situation? No, it would not be proper. She shouldn’t tell her of her feelings, either. It would embarrass her, and she might make a fool of herself. But Julia was not here, and Elizabeth could not stay, so perhaps this was the only woman she could confide in, a woman who had known Angus for his entire life.

  Mrs. MacLean soon arrived and poured the tea for them both before sitting down. “I do hope it’s nae trouble that I take tea with ye, Mistress.”

  “No, not at all. ‘Tis nice to have a bit of company. And besides, these are strange circumstances. Laird and Lady are gone, and the interim laird lies above getting over an illness. Surely we do not need to stand on ceremony.”

  Mrs. MacLean laughed. “My thoughts exactly, my dear.” Charlotte enjoyed how the old woman began calling her my dear and not simply mistress. Mistress seemed too cold and impersonal for the warm relationship that was budding between them.

  Charlotte took a sip of her tea and then felt like she was going to burst. She put the cup down and then said suddenly, “I’m in love with him, Mrs. MacLean, and I don’t know what to do.”

  After the older woman got over her initial shock at such a bold and sudden statement, her face creased into a warm smile. “I thought as much. But what problems could there be? He loves ye, as I’ve said before, and ye love him, so what will hold ye back?”

  Charlotte blushed deeply in spite of herself. She looked around, hoping that a nosy servant hadn’t listened in. To her relief, the only other sound in the Hall was the crackling of the fire. “You must forgive me for my stark words. I feel aflutter with all kinds of emotions. I missed him, and I planned on coming to visit. I had felt that I needed to apologize. We spoke harsh words to each other when I left so abruptly. And when I saw him today, I just knew. But it can never be. I would like him to know, to tell him of my feelings, but nothing can come of it. My father would never allow me to marry him. It could never go beyond friendship.”

  Mrs. MacLean sighed. “Who has power against true love, my dear? That was something my father always used tae say. I never found it myself, but I have seen it over and over again. ‘Tis different than a passing fancy. I saw it in Calum when he met Julia. He was taken over by his love for her, and it changed him intae the best laird that he could be. And now, with Angus, it has taken root as well, but he might fight against it, thinking that he’s nae worthy. He has never thought himself tae be worthy of anything.”

  “But why not? He has so many gifts.”

  “Aye, but he always felt second-best tae his brother.”

  Charlotte was shocked. Was that why he always acted the way he did? “So perhaps that was why he pushed himself to exhaustion, thinking that he must do right by Calum for the clan. He doesn’t want to make a mistake.”

  “Aye. But, of course, yer departure didnae help things. I mean, that was what really plagued him, on top of everything else. And I thought ye should know something, my dear. That letter ye wrote me. I was playing a bit of a matchmaker. I couldnae help myself, for Angus was in such a sorry state, and I needed to test something. I showed him yer letter that ye sent me. The letter in which ye asked after him, spoke of yer guilt, and mentioned about Calum.”

  Charlotte sat back, chewing on her lip. “No, I do not mind. So he knew that I thought of him after I left?”

  Mrs. MacLean nodded. “Aye, and I think it did him some good, but he seemed troubled by the mention of his brother.”

  “I see. Yes, that could cause a problem. He will not wish to know that Calum asked me to stay. It will make his fear come true, make him think that he truly isn’t good enough to do this job. How ironic. One letter has caused us enough trouble, and then it looks as though this one will as well. What should I tell him if he asks, Mrs. MacLean?” Charlotte was nervous.

  “Tell him the truth, lass. Ye cannae go wrong.”

  “I will wait until he is better so that we can talk, but then I will have to go.”

  Mrs. MacLean looked at Charlotte sadly. “But, my dear, is there naething ye can do tae remedy yer situation? Yer father willnae understand?”

  Charlotte shook her head, fearing that tears would spill forth. “No, I do not think so. But Mrs. MacLean, we are getting ahead of ourselves. He and I have not even shared the feelings between us - if there are any on his side. I cannot presume.”

  “I understand. I do wish ye would let me know if there is anything I can do. I dinnae wish for two young lovers tae be kept apart. Calum was nearly a bloody fool about Julia, but it came right in the end, and she had a murderer for a guardian. I do hope things will happen the same for ye.” Mrs. MacLean’s eyes were wide with earnestness, and she held Charlotte’s hands in her own.

  Charlotte nodded, unable to speak about it anymore. Even discussing it made her ache in places she had just recently learned existed. When had this transformation happened? It was like her old self had been completely washed away, and a brand new self had taken its place, all before Charlotte knew what was happening. She was in love with a Highlander, and it could very well be the end of her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Before they could continue in their conversation, John said to Archibald. “Brother, let us discuss for a moment or two about this afore we speak so freely in front of a strange Englishman come to call. ‘Twould nae be wise tae do so.”

  Archibald grunted in agreement from his seat. He turned to Mortimer. “Ye will excuse us for a moment, Lord Darling? ‘Tis nae normal for a Scotsman tae trust an Englishman so fully.”

  Mortimer stood and bowed low. “But, of course, gentlemen.” He left and shut the door.

  Archibald said, “What is it, lad? What troubles ye?”

  John tried to keep his voice calm. “Why are ye incriminating the MacLeans? We know who has done the deed!”

  Archibald replied, “So, ye wish tae confess tae yer crimes afore the man? He seems keen tae know who ‘twas, and I dinnae wish for me own brother tae hang for it.”

  “But I have already been cleared by the General at the Fort. It was ruled an accident, and it came out about Whiteman taking more taxes than he was owed. Perhaps this Lord Darling doesnae know about it yet.”

  “Aye, it appears so.”

  “So, then why do ye nae tell him? Why have ye thrown Angus under the way ye have? And ye sent a spy tae the Isle without my knowledge? Ye know Calum MacLean will nae take kindly tae that when he hears? We could have a battle on our hands.”

  Archibald’s face grew red with frustration. “Brother, is that nae what we wanted? We want tae take the Isle for ourselves. We get the money from these bloody bastards, and then they can do what they like! The English will be beholden tae us, and we will make a fine profit. And we’ll have the protection from them if any battles come this way, as Lord Darling has mentioned. ‘Tis as if yer a different person now, John. What happened tae yer bloodthirsty desire for power? Ye’
ve had a special vendetta against the MacLeans for years! Why are ye cowering now?”

  John knew it sounded ridiculous, but he hoped that the MacLeans would prosper over the winter and that they wouldn’t have to take their land once springtime came. He had even begun to develop a sort of friendship with Liam after seeing him frequent the same whorehouse many a time. “They revealed tae us about Whiteman. They let us know that he was double-crossing us and taking money. They didnae have tae do that, ye know. They could have just let it go and dealt with Whiteman on their own.”

  “And so ye’ve developed a heart for the clan?” Archibald looked incredulous. “Look, brother, our clan, has been built on the desire for power and control. This is the way of the future. The English are coming, and we can either die on the fields like dogs or make a profit. Which is it tae be?”

  John hesitated and then grit his teeth. “Fine. Ye may tell him that story, but if the clan has prospered, then we cannae take the land. That was the original deal.” Archibald grumbled.