Needing to Love You (Houston's Finest #2)

by Erin Rylie

  Kelsey knocked lightly on the frame of the door and stepped into the room. Without looking up, Carlos let out a heavy sigh, “Look, I’m sorry I don’t remember your name, but I was in a fucking car accident. I had goddamn brain damage. So if you could avoid yelling at me some more I’d really appreciate it. My head is pounding right now and your fucking shrieking isn’t helping anything at all.”

  “You know,” Kelsey started, moving farther into the room and taking one of the seats near his bedside. “After nine months I think I have the right to be offended you don’t remember my name.”

  Carlos’s hand fell from his face and he breathed her name, turning his head and meeting her eyes. The way he said her name sent shivers running down her spine. His mouth formed the two simple syllables reverently, falling from his lips like a prayer. The pure adoration in his gaze almost had her cupping his face and kissing him. Instead, she dropped her own gaze to the floor, breaking eye contact. A girl had just stormed out of this room. He’d slept with her a week ago, and Kelsey was sure the poor woman was one in a line of many.

  She cleared her throat and, of course, because she couldn’t help it, some random fact spilled from her lips. “Did you know that the person who created Peter Pan gave the rights to it to a hospital so they’d get the royalties?”

  Carlos laughed, “No, I didn’t know that. Thank you so much for enlightening me, Kels.”

  She shrugged. “Anyway, I just wanted to see if you’d made a decision about staying with me while you recover. It really is the best option for you. I’m home during the day so I can drive you to and from your appointments and help you around if you need it. I know that you have a concussion and need to rest and avoid loud noises, but James is pretty quiet most of the time. I mean, really for a young kid he’s pretty well behaved. I got lucky with him. Anyway, we could get you noise-cancelling headphones or—”

  Carlos cut her off. “Shit, if you wanted to shack up with me so badly, you should’ve just said so.”

  Kelsey glared, wanting to wipe the insufferable smirk off of his smug face. She hadn’t truly realized how badly she’d wanted him to agree to stay with her until it hit her that he might say no. The thought of more nights spent in an empty, quiet house had made her just a little bit desperate. She cursed herself for her verbal diarrhea—Carlos certainly didn’t need the ego boost.

  “Hey, if you’d prefer to stay with your mom, go for it. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to have you back in San Antonio. Oh, maybe you can transfer to one of their precincts.”

  “Point taken. I still think you’re just trying to help me into the shower. I can’t blame you though, I look spectacular naked.”

  Kelsey’s mouth practically watered as the image of him naked popped into her mind, unbidden. The man definitely took care of his body. In fact, she’d never seen anyone with such a defined six-pack in real life. The memory of what those muscles had felt like under her tongue all those months ago had her breathing a little heavier.

  Carlos—never one to miss the signs of arousal—looked at her with pure carnal intent in his eyes. “You’re picturing it now, aren’t you Kelsey? Remembering what it felt like to lick every inch of my body? Do you happen to remember what your favorite part of my body was?”

  Still maintaining eye contact, he reached one hand under the blanket and adjusted himself. Shit, the way this man made her feel was unreal. Despite their surroundings, and the open door to his room, Kelsey had to fight hard to keep her hands at her sides. What she really wanted to do was close the door and straddle him.

  Though she still hadn’t responded, Carlos spoke again, his voice dipping low. “If you keep looking at me like that, Kelsey, I’ll get out of this bed, injured leg be damned, and fuck you senseless.”

  The reminder of his injury was just what Kelsey needed to snap her out of her lust-induced haze. Thankfully, a sharp knock saved her from having to respond. She had never been more grateful for an interruption.

  Clara entered the room and proceeded to fuss over Carlos, all the while shooting Kelsey dirty looks over her shoulder. Kelsey had to resist the strong urge to roll her eyes at Carlos’s mother. Her parents had always instilled in her the importance of respecting her elders, and this fucking crone was most certainly her elder. She was broken out of her thoughts by Carla’s sickly sweet voice.

  “I talked to the doctor and he will discharge you directly into my care. I was thinking we could drive straight to San Antonio. I already called ahead and asked your aunt to prepare the guest bedroom.”

  Seriously? Is this woman delusional?

  Kelsey knew that she was being a bit insensitive, especially considering how distraught she knew she would be if anything ever happened to James, but given the stories Carlos had told her about his history with his mother, Kelsey was really struggling to find any ounce of empathy.

  Carlos heaved a heavy sigh, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “Mom, I really appreciate it, but I’m going to stay in Houston at Kelsey’s house. If I stay here I can work with the physical therapist my doctor recommended and I’ll be able to do deskwork at the station. I can’t risk going to San Antonio and losing my job.”

  For a moment, Kelsey thought that Clara would be an understanding mother, but it turned out her sudden silence was merely the calm before the storm.

  “You ungrateful fucking brat. My sisters told me to cut you out of my life after that incident with my mortgage a few years ago, but I forgave you. Now, I come all the way from Houston, wasting gas and money on a hotel room, and I find out that you’re the same piece of shit I’ve always known.”

  “The incident with your mortgage was that you gambled away the money to pay it and asked me to clear out my entire fucking savings to pay it for you. An easy solution to your problems? Stop gambling, Clara, and get a damn job. I knew this would all be about money for you. What, you thought you’d take care of me in San Antonio, nurse me back to help, and I would pay off your latest debt?”

  Though Clara didn’t say a word, the way her face drained of color indicated that Carlos had hit the nail on the head. Shit, this woman was a real piece of work.

  Carlos’s mother quickly recovered, the color returning to her cheeks. “I raised you, boy. Spent eighteen damn years feeding and clothing you, and this is how you thank me? Good luck with your recovery with this slut by your side. Don’t bother to call me for help when her sucking your dick doesn’t heal your injuries.”

  Kelsey had only known Carlos as a fun and lovable guy, but by the end of Clara’s sentence, his expression was as cold as any Kelsey had ever seen. “Get the fuck out of my life. Now.” Kelsey had expected him to speak with a raised voice, but his tone was eerily calm as he cut his mother out of his life. The coolness in his voice sent a chill down Kelsey’s spine.

  Clara stormed out of the room, the slam of the hospital door behind her reverberating in Kelsey’s bones. She had no clue what to say to Carlos after all of that. The last thing she’d expected was for him to start laughing. Not an awkward, strained laugh either. No, Carlos emitted a deep belly laugh that kept going until it verged on hysterical. Both shocked and unsure how to handle his outburst, Kelsey walked over to the bed and took his hand in hers. She stroked her thumb over his fingers and waited for him to compose himself.

  Finally, Carlos’s laughed slowed, and he used the hand she wasn’t holding to wipe the tears from his eyes. A sardonic smile still gracing his handsome face, he looked over at Kelsey, finally.

  “You know, I actually thought things might be different with her this time. I thought that the possibility of losing me, the fact that I had been in a near-fatal car accident would wake her up. Fuck, I actually hoped things would be different. But she’s the same ol’ Clara, only gives a shit about what I can do for her.”

  Though he still wore a smile, his words were cutting and there was genuine hurt in his eyes. Kelsey wanted to hunt Clara down and drag her back into the hospital room by her hair. She owed her son an apology. He
ll, she owed her son a mother. Feeling helpless with the knowledge that nothing she could do would make Clara realize what she was losing, Kelsey decided to focus on making Carlos see the good he had in his life.

  “Well,” she started, weighing her words carefully. “There is at least one person who will always love you, no matter what. You don’t really need someone as toxic as Clara in your life when you have that, right?”

  Just a hint of familiar mischief lit Carlos’s eyes when he responded. “Oh yeah? Who loves me, baby?”

  “All right, save the cheesy pet names for the women whose names you can’t remember. And before you get too excited, I meant Rafe, of course. Your one true love.”

  Carlos snorted, and Kelsey was relieved to see some of the tension dissipate from his shoulders. The last thing he needed was for his mother’s failure as a parent to impact the difficult rehabilitation he had coming.

  “I do have some good news though. You’re being cleared to leave tomorrow. You’ll still need to see your physical therapist a couple times a week, and you need to get checked out by your general practitioner in two weeks to make sure there are no lingering effects from your concussion. Overall though, you’re free and clear!”

  The reaction Carlos gave her was far from the one she expected at such news. He made a slight humming sound and looked down at his right leg. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for him to face the months of work ahead of him. Not to mention the reality that his entire life would be different for the foreseeable future. He was going from living a bachelor lifestyle to living in a house with a woman and a small child. Additionally, she knew he must be taking it hard that he would be relegated to deskwork until he was cleared by his physical therapist.

  Carlos swallowed and cleared his throat before turning to face Kelsey. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Helping me recover isn’t going to be easy. I’ll need help moving around, showering, driving. I’m pretty much fucking useless right now. Goddamn useless.”

  Before she could respond, Carlos snorted, “And alone. Let’s not forget that. My own fucking family no longer wants to help or support me.”

  Kelsey reached a hand out to cup Carlos’s cheek. “I told you, you’re not alone. It isn’t always about the family you’re born with; the one you make for yourself is way more important. Sophie, Rafe, James, and I are your family. You sure as shit aren’t useless—that big mouth of yours seems to work just fine. At the very least, you’re fully capable of annoying the hell out of anyone in a mile radius of my house. That could prove useful, you never know.”

  Carlos grinned. “Ah, I see. You want me to scare off all of your suitors, huh? Saving yourself for when I recover? I dig it.”

  “Suitors? Who even uses that word anymore?”

  He shrugged in response. “I read it in a book.”

  “I see, and what kind of book did you see that particular word in, Carlos?”

  Another shrug followed by a mumbled response that Kelsey couldn’t make out.

  “I’m sorry, can you repeat yourself?”

  Carlos heaved a heavy sigh. “Fine, I guess you’ll find out anyway since I’ll be staying with you. I read it in a historical romance book.”

  “Historical romance…”

  “Yes ma’am. Bodice rippers, regency romances, old school hide the sausage.”

  “You read them…”

  He nodded, the grin on his face growing with every word she uttered. He was clearly enjoying her complete and utter shock.

  “I just...I don’t even know how to process this information. I want to make fun of you, but words are hard at the moment.”

  Carlos shrugged. “Can’t fault a guy for liking a little romance, can you?”

  Kelsey glared at him. “You’re fucking with me.”

  “I guess you’ll have to see when we’re roomies. I won’t have you dipping into my collection of paperbacks though. You look like the kind of monster who enjoys cracking spines.”

  Struck literally speechless, Kelsey shook her head once more, stood up, and walked out the door without another word.

  Chapter Four

  After getting a few hours of work done, Kelsey received a curt text from Kyle telling her that he was free for dinner at seven o’clock. A quick peek at the clock on her phone told her that she had just enough time to get another hour or so of work in before getting ready to meet him. She plowed through a couple more follow-up emails for customers, before closing her computer for the day.

  A quick shower, a blow-dry, and some makeup later, Kelsey was standing in her walk-in closet trying to decide what the hell to wear. Taste of Texas wasn’t an overly formal place, but it seemed wrong to show up in just jeans and a nice shirt. However, dressing up more than that could imply to Kyle that she thought this was a date. Even if she thought he might be seeing someone, the last thing she wanted to do was lead him on or give him false hope.

  Settling for a simple navy blue wrap dress and nude flats, she grabbed her purse and headed out the door. Her nerves hit hard on the way to the restaurant as she tried to determine what Kyle could want to talk about. A million possibilities raced through her mind, but the most plausible were that he wanted to change their custody agreement, or he’d started seeing someone. Maybe he was going to tell her about this Marissa chick he’d apparently been spending time with. She hoped for the latter. If he was seeing someone, maybe it would soften the blow when she told him that Carlos would be staying with her for a few months.

  Doubtful.

  When she walked into the restaurant and gave the hostess her name, she was directed to a table in the fireplace room—her personal favorite—where Kyle was already waiting for her, an open bottle of wine sitting on the table before him. He stood to greet her as she approached, giving her an awkward side hug before returning to his seat.

  I haven’t even spoken and this is already awkward as fuck. Fantastic.

  Once she was comfortably seated with a glass of wine in front of her, Kyle cleared his throat. “So, uh, how’s work?”

  “It’s not bad, pretty easy money. It helps support James, so I guess that’s all that really matters.”

  Kyle nodded in agreement and looked down at his glass. He was quiet for a moment before a light chuckle escaped his mouth. “Shit, Kelsey. When did this get so uncomfortable? We don’t even know how to have dinner together anymore.”

  Kelsey let out a laugh of her own. “I know, nobody told me divorce would be so weird. Do you still wake up in the middle of the night and check the other side of the bed? It’s been almost a year and I can’t seem to break the habit.”

  Kyle scratched the back of his neck and took a big gulp of his wine. “Well, actually that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. This might be the worst segue in the history of the world, but I’m, uh, seeing someone. So that side of my bed isn’t really...empty.”

  Dear Lord, somehow this dinner got more uncomfortable. Someone save me now.

  “Oh? Well, I assume it’s serious if you want to talk to me about it.”

  Jealousy hit Kelsey hard at the blissful expression that crossed her ex-husband’s face in that moment. She wasn’t jealous of the new woman; she was happy that Kyle had found someone. But she couldn’t help wishing that she felt that way about someone. She wanted to positively light up at just the thought of a man. Hell, she wanted to watch a man light up at the thought of her. Her marriage with Kyle had proven though that she wasn’t built for that kind of happiness. If she was going to love anyone for the rest of her life, it would’ve been the man in front of her, but she hadn’t even managed that.

  The demise of their marriage wasn’t something she could ever blame Kyle for. He was, admittedly, an easy man to love. Quick with a joke or fun story, he was smart, handsome, and beloved by just about everyone who knew him. Sure, he’d lost his shit for a while after she’d filed for divorce, but a few months of poor behavior didn’t make him a bad person. He wasn’t a perfect man, and still lost his temper at her occas
ionally, but that was just because he was still hurt, right? No, she was the villain in their story. The woman who couldn’t manage to stay in love with one of the most lovable men she’d ever met.

  Sure, their marriage hadn’t always been easy, and they’d had their conflicts, particularly when it came to her returning to work. But overall, he’d been a supportive husband, the kind most women dreamed of. Was there something wrong with her for wanting more? Maybe it was all of the romance novels she read, but she wanted passion that took her breath away, she wanted sparks and butterflies and a love that could never fade with time. Kelsey knew her wishes weren’t realistic, that people didn’t find that sort of happiness in real life, but the more she saw Sophie and her husband, Rafe, together, the more she began to hope. Hope was a dangerous thing, though. It could easily crush her, and if she got involved with someone else, her hope could crush them too.

  The twisted mass of hope and fear churning in her gut was one of the reasons she’d refused to let things with Carlos progress. What if she let him in, let herself hope for more, and was disappointed to find that her expectations were just too high? She would crush him, and he was too good of a person to put through such turmoil. She’d already broken one man’s heart; she was unwilling to do it a second time.

  “—And then Donald Trump said, ‘I bless this union between Godzilla and Kim Jong-un. It’s a really great union, and Godzilla is a good friend of mine.’”

  Kelsey’s head snapped up as the words registered. “What?!”

  “Ah, welcome back. I’m not sure where you went, but I was talking about Godzilla and Kim Jong-un getting married for like five minutes before you caught on.”

  She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Kyle. It’s been a long couple of days. Tell me about this girl you’re seeing.”

  “Well, as I was saying, Dillon introduced us—”

  “Dillon? My brother Dillon?”

  Kyle chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, we’ve been hanging out since the divorce. Apparently they work together at the middle school and he thought we would be good together. Anyway, she teaches seventh grade math and she’s fantastic with kids. I really think you’ll like her actually.