Once Upon a Cowboy Christmas--A River Ranch Novel

by Soraya Lane

  “Ahhh, so he does remember,” she said, holding her hand in front of her mouth as she swallowed. “I had grand plans to become an architect, but I didn’t get the scholarships I’d applied for and money was too tight without the assistance.”

  Cody looked down at his plate. He’d been such an ass that he hadn’t even known his girlfriend needed financial help. It was something he could easily have done to assist her, and it would have changed everything for her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, looking up from cutting his steak. “I should have known. I could have done something about it and your entire life could have gone to plan. Things could have been different for you.”

  “Hey, if things had been different, I wouldn’t be mom to the sweetest kid on the planet, so it hasn’t been all bad.”

  She was making light of what had happened, but he could see the pain in her eyes. Harry or not, life hadn’t worked out as she’d hoped, and now he felt partly responsible.

  “So you decided to nurse instead?”

  “Nope, I decided to become an interior designer, because I could do a course within driving distance of home without moving.” Lexi set her fork down and reached for her glass, taking a sip. “And then I met David and we had a whirlwind romance before I finished my course and we ended up getting married.”

  “That doesn’t sound like you. You were always such a planner, I can’t imagine you just…”

  “Being stupid enough to marry an asshole and getting pregnant by mistake?” she asked, finishing with a laugh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone who knew me thought the same thing. But I was on the rebound”—she paused and took a deep breath—“from you.”

  Her words were so soft he almost couldn’t hear them, but he did. Just like he saw the glint in her eye that told him how much it had genuinely hurt her, and that she was so goddamn strong she wasn’t going to sit back and not let him know it.

  “So tell me about your ex-husband?” he asked, deciding not to comment on the part about him.

  “There’s nothing to tell,” she said. “Other than the fact that I’ve had to work full time since Harry was in diapers, as well as retrain and try to keep a roof over our heads. That’s my story in a nutshell, which is probably as different from your glamorous city life, with a different girl every night and no responsibilities.”

  “There’s no girl every night. I’m married to my work, so don’t go thinking I’m having some kind of Hugh Hefner lifestyle. I already told you that.”

  “So you’re single?” she asked, and then she looked down as if she was embarrassed and shouldn’t have asked. “You were serious when you said you don’t have anyone special back in New York?”

  “Despite managing to hurt you, it’s something I’m pretty careful to avoid,” he admitted. “I don’t do relationships anymore. I don’t have enough to give someone and I like them knowing that from the get-go. Work is always going to be the love of my life.”

  “Bad relationship in the past?” she asked dryly.

  “Yeah, you could say that. It involved the throwing of plates—her, not me—and a lot of yelling about me being too focused on work and not giving a shit about her.” He spread his hands wide, needing to explain to her that it wasn’t her or any other woman, it was just him. “I’m not the husband type; I suppose that’s what I’m trying to say.”

  Lexi nodded and went back to eating, before looking up at him. “This is weird. It’s kind of like a date, but not a date, and all we’re doing is acting like we’re interested in each other’s lives despite the fact that we haven’t been in contact for over ten years.”

  He laughed—there was nothing else to do. “Yeah, even champagne and a steak dinner can’t disguise it. You want to go or—”

  “No.” She put her knife and fork down, placing them on her plate as she lowered her voice. “I want to tell you what a fucking jerk you were, that you broke my heart, and that I hate you.”

  “Okaaaaay,” he groaned and put his fork down too, even though he hadn’t quite finished. “I’m not sure where to go from there.”

  “Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, can we just forget about the past? You’ve grown up, I’ve grown up, we’ve both moved on and whatever happened, it happened. I’m officially over it.” She laughed. “Although it felt damn good telling you that!”

  He raised his brows. “Should we start over by having dessert then? Am I pushing it by thinking it’s worth celebrating?”

  “No,” she said, gathering up her bag and standing, the change in her gaze so obvious that he had no idea what she was about to say or do.

  “I’m not sure what you want?” He rose too, surprised when she reached for his shirt and tugged him closer, her voice low. “You want to leave?”

  “What I want is to be one of your no-strings-attached dates,” she whispered. “I haven’t been laid since my husband left me, and my son is out of the house. No confusion, no wanting more than you can give, just a little walk down memory lane.” She stared at him, long and hard. “You want to make it up to me for leaving me, this is your chance.”

  Cody swallowed, trying not to grin. This was definitely not how he’d thought their night was going to pan out. He was expecting it to take a lot longer for her to thaw out, and he hadn’t even considered that it might end in sex.

  “You’re sure about—”

  “Get the bill, Cody, and meet me at the car.”

  He pulled his wallet out. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Chapter 8

  LEXI’s heart was pounding. What the hell was she thinking, telling Cody that she wanted to get out of the restaurant? She hadn’t even had that much to drink, but suddenly all she could think about was how long it had been since she’d spent the night with a man. But something about the fact that they’d been together before was emboldening her, almost making her feel like it didn’t count, that she could have one naughty night without passing judgment on herself. There was a familiarity there that made her think she could actually do this. No commitment, no pain. Just pleasure.

  She was standing outside the restaurant, beneath the overhang outside so she wasn’t getting wet, and she knew that any second now, Cody would be walking out the door. Anticipating what was coming next. And all of a sudden she was terrified that she wouldn’t know what to do anymore.

  The door creaked and she shut her eyes, listening, feeling, knowing it was him.

  “Hey, you must be freezing.”

  Cody’s arm slid around her, tugging her against him and quickly forward as he propelled them out into the snow toward the car. He unlocked it as they were walking and opened the door, but instead of leaping in out of the cold, she slowly turned, looking up at him as the snow caught in his lashes.

  He waited, immobile, as she clutched the front of his coat, inhaling deeply before lifting on her toes to press her lips to his. She kissed him lightly, feeling his mouth move softly beneath hers, not pushing, not claiming the kiss, just like his body wasn’t moving toward her. Lexi chose to deepen the kiss, holding him tighter as she pulled him farther forward and tasted his mouth, remembering exactly how her body had always responded to his.

  “As much as I’m enjoying this,” Cody murmured in her ear, “I think we need to relocate somewhere out of the cold.”

  Lexi nodded, slowly lowering herself and letting go of his coat. She got into the car and he jogged around to the other side, turning the engine on as she cranked up the heater. And then after he’d reversed the car, Cody reached for her hand and turned it over, tracing circles lightly across her skin the rest of the way home.

  It took every ounce of her self-control not to squirm, the combination of the tip of his fingernail and the edge of his skin skimming hers almost too much to bear, but she knew she’d done the right thing. She wanted Cody, and she needed this release more than she’d realized.

  The drive home felt agonizingly long compared to the drive to the restaurant, and by the time they pulled into the River Ranch driveway, her
stomach was in knots and she was almost ready to back out. But one glance from Cody and she knew she’d regret not taking her chance with him. She needed this.

  “I’ll drive real slow,” he said, voice low as he glanced at her. “Last thing we need is Tanner hearing we’re home.”

  “Or Harry,” she said, suddenly finding it hard not to think about her little boy. They were about to drive straight past the house he was in, and it went against her mom instinct not to check on him or put him first. But this was just once. She’d never let someone else look after him before. Surely she was allowed one night of thinking of herself? She gulped, trying to push the thoughts away.

  “Shit,” Cody swore softly. “What if they didn’t go back to Tanner’s place?”

  She gulped. “We could go to your room?”

  He shook his head. “Imagine if my dad heard us? I’m past sneaking girls in the front door.” Cody grinned. “What we should have done was find a motel. Why the hell didn’t I think of that?”

  Lexi smiled straight back at him. “You should be better at all this. I’m way out of practice, but you’re supposed to be the king of smooth.”

  “Smooth? I’ll take the compliment but I’m not sure I deserve it.” He finally pulled in beside her front door and they sat for a second before he turned in his seat, his hand finding hers again. “You sure about this? You can back out if you want to.”

  She swallowed, hoping her voice worked. “I’m sure. You?”

  Cody nodded. “But just to make this clear, I’m only here for a few days, this doesn’t mean—”

  She didn’t let him finish. “Relax, this time I know you’re going. It’s no strings.” Lexi hoped it came out as carefree as she meant it. “Now would you hurry up and open my door before I get cold feet?”

  Cody sprang into action, and within seconds she was at her front door, unlocking it as Cody pushed it open. It was quiet inside; no lights, no TV blaring, nothing.

  “I think we’re alone,” Cody said from behind her.

  Lexi took a step forward, clearing her throat and waiting to see if anyone made a noise. “Just let me check, I’d hate if…” Her voice trailed off and she didn’t bother finishing her sentence.

  She left Cody and took a cursory look around, flicking on a lamp and then walking upstairs to the loft area where she and Harry both slept. She checked his room and then hers, but there was nothing. No one.

  Which meant she had no excuse not to follow through with what she’d started.

  The stairs made a creaking noise, shifting as someone stepped on a tread, as she waited, knowing that Cody had followed her. Lexi gasped as hands closed over her shoulders before slowly, softly, tracing down her body until they settled on her hips.

  Cody never said a word, letting his body do the talking as he stepped closer, his chest and stomach skimming her back, the pressure just enough for her to feel him against her. She’d worn her long hair down, and Cody stroked it before scooping it up and putting it over one shoulder, while his mouth found her neck, murmuring across the soft, sensitive skin as he tasted her.

  She moaned as he kissed down then up, finding her ear and gently nibbling at her lobe before his hands were on her shoulders, taking off her coat. The second he’d discarded it, his hand were on her again, this time his fingertips lightly dancing across her shoulders.

  Lexi wanted to tell him to stop as much as she wanted him to keep going, but as he pushed back against her again, as his lips found her skin again, she knew that she was already in too deep to say no to him. She wanted this, even just for one night. She needed to feel wanted, to feel a man’s hands on her, to do something for her for once instead of putting everyone else in her life first, even just for a few hours.

  She laughed. As if she’d last a few hours; she’d probably be equal parts satisfied and exhausted in half that time.

  “What?” he murmured. “You think this is funny?”

  “No,” Lexi replied, slowly turning to face him. She scooped her arms around his neck and looked up at him.

  “Then why were you laughing?”

  “It’s just been a long time since I’ve done this. And I sure as hell didn’t expect my first time back in the saddle to be with you, excuse the pun.”

  “Hey,” he said, bending forward and placing the slowest, most tantalizing kiss on her lips, his mouth moving so slowly that every nerve ending in her body seemed to shudder with the anticipation of more. “It is like riding a horse. You never forget.”

  Lexi leaned back as she laughed, loving the feel of Cody’s big, strong arms around her. “Except I did forget how to ride, didn’t I! I couldn’t even get on the damn horse in case you’ve forgotten already!”

  Cody chuckled and moved her forward, hard up against his chest again, her hands trapped between them. “Bad analogy,” he muttered. “But trust me, your body doesn’t forget.”

  His hold on her tightened, his arms firm around her back as his mouth found hers again. She sure hoped he was right.

  * * *

  Cody needed every inch of will power to take things slow with Lexi, but he wasn’t going to hurry her, not even for a second. He owed it to her to give her a damn good night, and that was precisely what he was going to do.

  He moved his mouth against hers, loving the feel of her pillowy, warm mouth, the way her tongue was tentatively exploring, as if she wasn’t quite sure. Cody stroked her body, from her butt all the way up her back and down again, loving the way she moaned and leaned harder against him, her breasts crushed to his chest. And then he stroked her shoulders, slowly slipping the straps of her camisole down.

  “No,” she gasped, pulling back a little, and he stopped, shrugging them straight back up again. He wasn’t going to push her if she didn’t want it.

  “You having second thoughts?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “You first.”

  Cody shrugged, happy to oblige, and he tossed off his coat and then tugged at the bottom of his cashmere sweater, pulling it up and over his head so he was standing bare chested.

  “More?” he asked, liking the way she was biting her bottom lip as she watched him, wide eyed.

  Lexi nodded and he grinned back, bending to take off his shoes and socks, and then undoing his belt and unbuttoning his jeans. He looked at her, slowly taking off his jeans and kicking them off too, until all his clothes sat in a pile. He was about to take off his briefs too, but a squeak from Lexi stopped him.

  Her eyes met his before trailing back down again, and he laughed as she shook her head, clearly seeing just how much he was interested in her.

  “Your turn,” he murmured. And when she didn’t move, he moved to her, reaching for her, one finger curling beneath her chin to lift her face. He kissed her, once, gently, before lowering and touching her shoe, waiting for her to lift her foot so he could take it off.

  He heard her exhale before lifting one foot and then the other, until she was standing barefoot on the floorboards. Cody rose slowly, watching her face as he touched her straps again. This time there was no protest, and he slipped them down, exposing her bare skin and bending to press a kiss to her collarbone. Lexi’s fingers clenched in his hair, holding him there, and he took it as a sign to keep going, exploring her skin more, and then slowly pushing her camisole down until it was at her waist, the lacy bra she was wearing not leaving much to the imagination.

  Cody dropped lower to kiss her stomach, caressing the soft skin with his lips before working his way back up again so he could look into her eyes. Lexi’s fingers were still in his hair, and she forced his head back down again, taking charge as she claimed his mouth, and suddenly Cody couldn’t go slow. He wanted her and if her grip on his hair was anything to go by, she wanted him right back.

  He fumbled with the top button of her jeans, hands slipping on the silk of her top, but she helped him, pushing at her pants. But he wasn’t waiting for her to shimmy her way out of her tight trousers. He held her and stepped her backward, pushing her onto t
he bed.

  She laughed as he manhandled her, grabbing hold of the denim at her ankles and tugging hard. She almost slipped straight off the bed, but the second he had her jeans off she scrambled back up. The sight of her in her lace panties and bra was too much for him.

  “You still want to go slow?” he ground out as he stripped off his briefs and lowered himself over her, propped on his elbows as his body covered hers, staring down into her eyes. He saw the same longing there that he was certain she could see reflected in his.

  “Screw that,” she whispered. “I’ve been waiting a long time for a repeat.”

  Cody pushed himself up, yanking down her panties and throwing them behind him. He was about to reach for her bra, desperate to feel the heaviness of her breasts in his hands, but she was too fast.

  Lexi hooked her legs around his waist, her ankles locked as she reached up for him.

  “No time,” she whispered. “Just…”

  Cody didn’t need to be asked twice. Lexi rocked up to him as he shifted his weight forward, but he stopped, groaning. “Shit, we need…”

  “Oh my god, yes!” she gasped. “I don’t, I mean I haven’t need—”

  He leapt up, fumbling for his jeans and getting out his wallet. “I’ve got one, so we better make it count.” Then he laughed. “Actually there’s two, it’s our lucky night.”

  Lexi’s laughter stalled when he dropped on top of her again, nudging her legs apart at the same time she crossed her legs around him again, urging him forward as she arched up. He put his hands beneath her, guiding her up as he rocked inside of her, groaning as she bucked against him, her fingers clawing at his back until he lowered and covered her body with his. Cody’s hands bracketed the space on either side of her head as his mouth found hers again, kissing her as he slid in and out, going faster than he wanted because of her fingers digging into him, forcing him faster and faster as she moaned beneath him.

  He stopped kissing her and trailed his mouth lower, plucking at her already slick skin, groaning as she held him tighter and he fought to sit upright, forcing him backward into a sitting position as she sat in his lap and took charge. And as he stroked her long, silky hair, as she tipped her head back in his hands and he kissed her long, slender neck, he remembered what it had felt like to love Lexi.