To Love a No Good Nigga

by Phoenix Williams

  Chapter 18

 

  If there was one place I hated most in the world it was the hospital. The smell, the food, the décor, I hated it all. It’s funny how you didn’t notice those types of things when an emergency hits. As I raced down the corridors of the hospital towards the nurse’s station, it was as if all five senses had suddenly left me.

  “My name is Raven Bird, my boyfriend was admitted.”

  Before the nurse could ask me any questions or give me any information, I heard my name. I turned around and saw Pierre’s mother and brothers waiting in a small room. “What happened?”

  His mother tried to speak but only sobs came out, not a good sign.

  Pierre’s brother, Samuel, finally was able to find his voice, “It was a freak accident. He was driving down the street when a semi rear-ended him. They were at a red light and the semi just decided not to stop.”

  A chill ran up my spine but I shook it off. I mindlessly sat in the chair nearest me while Samuel continued to speak. I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. “Huh? I’m sorry.”

  “P’s fine. I swear an angel was watching him. He only broke his collar bone. A piece of debris got lodged in his arm, so they took him into surgery. We can all go back to see him in a few.”

  We sat in silence and waited to be notified by the doctor on Pierre’s condition. We all knew that it would be awhile. It was just after the holidays and people were lined up in the hospital. Everyone was trying to fulfill their New Year’s resolutions and most of them ended up injuring themselves in the process.

  A few hours passed before the doctor appeared. “Raven Bird, Mr. Lester would like to see you, alone.”

  I hugged Ms. Lester and went to see my man. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he was only hooked up to a few machines and that he was awake. His face was bruised from where it collided with the steering wheel. His neck was covered in heavy bandages along with his arm. All in all, he was still gorgeous.

  Waiting for the doctor to leave, he motioned for me to come closer. “Raven, I need you to do something for me.”

  Taking his hand in mine, I kissed his knuckles. “Anything.”

  “I need you to go to the house. There’s a safe in my room with one hundred thousand dollars in it. I need you to get my mom and brothers on the next flight to Georgia. I have a house down there. The keys are in the safe. The combination is your birthday. Then I want you to go to your parents’ house and stay there until I tell you. Okay?”

  “Okay, but why? It was a freak accident. Shit like this happens all the time.”

  “Naw Raven, there wasn’t anything accidental about this shit here.” Pausing, he squeezed my hand. “Dean is trying to kill me.”

  I returned to my home in Plainfield well after two in the morning. I showered and slipped between the sheets on my bed.

  It had taken forever to get Pierre’s family to agree to head down to Georgia without giving them any specifics. It took even longer to get them packed and on the airplane.

  I called my sisters and let them know what was going on. Sparrow was a wreck, but with her own issues she couldn’t be of any assistance. Robin offered to let me stay with her, but with her mood swings I knew I couldn’t handle that shit. So, I told my parents that my house was being fumigated and I needed to stay with them for a while. I couldn’t wait for my man to give me the word to come back to him because staying with my parents was going to send me to the nut house for sure. Until then, all I could do was dream of having Pierre with me, holding me as I fell fast asleep.

  Hours later, sunlight radiated through the curtains covering my bedroom windows. I yawned deeply and I stretched my arms over my head. The silk sheets slipped beneath my breasts. I wished that Pierre was there to give me some of that morning loving that I had grown accustomed to.

  His scent was still embedded in my sheets and that drove my desire to a higher level. I thought about finding him and riding him into the sunset but changed my mind. I would do what he asked and lay low until he told me that it was okay to come out.

  Opening my eyes, all I saw was the darkness of the barrel of a .38 Special aimed between my eyes.

  “Good morning Raven, Daddy’s home.”

  DEAN!

  Chapter 19

  ROBIN

  “So, Mary’s daughter, Valerie, just got married.”

  Oh God, here it comes, I thought to myself.

  “Mary couldn’t stop talking about the wedding. I wish I could plan a wedding. When are you going to finally settle down, Robin?”

  There it is. My mother, Tianna “T” Bird, was constantly on my case about getting married. It was worse than ever since my younger sisters were now in relationships.

  My sister, Raven, had been married to her husband, Dean, for ten years. My younger sister, Sparrow, was now in a legitimate relationship with her boyfriend, Isaiah, and it looked promising. I was the only one of my sisters that was alone.

  “Mama, I don’t know when I’m going to get married. I guess when the right man comes along I’ll know.”

  Taking a sip of her tea, my mother leaned back into the wicker chair while the August sun shined on her jet black hair. “It’s not like you’re unattractive. You have a nice shape, good hair, and a gorgeous face. You are part owner of one of the most successful interior design companies in the state. I don’t understand how you don’t even have a boyfriend and your sisters do.”

  Drowning out my mother’s tirade, I thought about my sisters. Sparrow was my youngest sister and a total knockout. She was 5’10” and had a caramel complexion, an hourglass shape, brownish gold hair, full lips, and brown eyes. At 27, she had finally found a man that she loved. Instead of naming her Sparrow, my parents should have named her Swallow. She’d had more men between both sets of lips than I cared to count.

  My sister Raven, my parents should have named her Cuckoo because only a dummy would get themselves into the mess that she had. Raven was 29 and your typical supermodel type, tall and willowy with small breasts and small hips. She also lacked common sense. As much as she tried to deny it, we all knew that her husband, Dean, was a drug dealer.

  Despite one being a whore and the other a dumbass, both of my sisters had managed to do what I could not, capture the love a man. Yeah, men wanted to sleep with me but none wanted to be with me. It was hard to know that I lacked something especially when everyone around me had it. Even my mother was in a relationship, though it wasn’t a happy one.

  Tianna “T” Bird had been married to my father, Jay Bird, for over thirty years. She had stood by his side while he went to school, built his practice, and continuously cheated on her. My mother was one of those traditional women who didn’t believe in divorcing a man for being a man. As she would say, “When a woman loves…” I truly hoped to love someone as much as my mother loved my father, though I wouldn’t condone the infidelity.

  Snapping out of my reverie, I brushed my dark brown hair out of my eyes. “Mom, I know you want to plan my wedding and I would love for you to do it. However, until I find a man to marry there is nothing I can do.”

  “Don’t worry, baby,” she said with a smile. “I’ll help you find someone.”

  Sighing with resignation, I knew that my mom was going to set me up with yet another one of her friend’s sons, grandsons, or employees. As much as I loathed being set up on a blind date, I would do it anyway. My mother wanted grandchildren and since Dean and Raven didn’t want kids and Sparrow was too busy, I would have to give them to her. As usual, I would try not to disappoint.

  Chapter 20

  Two weeks later, I was waiting in a dimly lit restaurant in Chicago for my mom’s friend’s son, Matthew, to show up. This was the third blind date that she had set me up on and hopefully it would be the last. The first two did not go well at all.

  The first guy, Troy, was overly arrogant and wanted to get me into his bed before the entrees had hit the
table. His hands tried to grope my thick thighs for the fifth time before I finally had enough and left, but not before throwing my wine in his lap to cool him off.

  The second guy, Lovell, had too much drama going on. Things had started off fine. We were getting along and the conversation was flowing but as we got ready to order dessert, his ex showed up.

  That wouldn’t have been so bad if his ex wasn’t a 6’2” ex-con named Tyrell. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that Lovell was gay. I sat in shock watching Tyrell and Lovell argue. The finger snapping, neck rolling, and teeth sucking were too much for me to handle. So, I left, but not before Tyrell threw red wine on my favorite white pantsuit.

  Checking my watch, I realized that Matthew was fifteen minutes late. That was definitely not a good sign. I didn’t want my future husband to be late without even a courtesy call or text. I mentally reviewed my appearance to make sure that I made a good first impression. I wore a smart black pantsuit that gave a tempting yet classy peek of my abundant cleavage and slightly hugged my hips and ample ass. Sensible shoes added two inches to my 5’6” frame. Light make up accentuated my high cheekbones and wide brown eyes.

  “You must be Robin.”

  My head snapped up at the sound of the deep voice above me. I glanced up and was immediately disappointed. “Matthew?”

  “In the flesh, beautiful,” he said. “I’m sorry I’m late. Just give me one second to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

  As he walked away, I knew that this would not go anywhere. Matthew was shorter than me without my heels. His voice was a cross between baritone and nasal. His butter toned skin was blotchy and scarred from acne. His goatee was patchy and he was balding. If I had to have guessed I would have thought he was in his forties. The icing on the cake was his smile. His teeth were the exact shade of his skin. I had to make an exit before I got stuck sitting here eating dinner with this man.

  Coming back to the table, Matthew sat back in his seat and smiled that yellow smile at me. “So, your mom told me a lot about you.”

  “All good, I hope,” I said while trying to formulate a plan to leave without hurting his feelings.

  “Most definitely. She told me that you were 32 and that you need to settle down. I’m 35 and I’m ready to settle down, too. I figure we can help each other out.”

  Oh my God, I thought to myself. “I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

  “Basically, you need a husband and I need a wife. I’m choosing you. Now, you don’t have to worry about being alone and childless. What would you like to eat?” he asked, picking up the menu as if everything was settled between us and I could go buy a wedding gown.

  Shock and anger were the only emotions I felt. Leaning close to him, I hissed, “Let’s get something straight. Number one, I am not desperate for a man...”

  “That’s not what I heard,” he interrupted.

  “Number two, even if I was desperate, I would not choose you.”

  Quickly, I gathered my things and stood to leave.

  “Robin, there’s no reason to be indignant. Beggars can’t be choosers. You’re 32 and single with no prospects. I’m sure I’m not your dream man, but I’m the only man willing to give you what you want…a family. Do a favor for me tonight, okay? While you’re in bed tonight, alone as usual, listen hard. I’m sure you’ll be able to hear the ticking of your biological clock.”

  Storming out of the restaurant, I practically ran to my car. That man had a lot of nerve acting like he was my last resort.

  Yeah, I hadn’t been in a relationship in four years and hadn’t had sex in three but it wasn’t as if I couldn’t keep a man. Sure, my standards were a little high and the last few dates that I had been on ended in disaster, but that didn’t mean I would end up alone. It was just taking me a little longer to find my soul mate. As long as I held out on the hope that my Mr. Right was out there, then I would be fine.

  I pulled up to my three story house in Naperville and went straight into my master bathroom. The sound of water hitting travertine and the air conditioner were the only sounds in the entire house. Loneliness cloaked me as I stripped from my clothing and let the hot water from the shower spray over me.

  Matthew’s comments continued to play in my head like a broken record and tears filled my eyes. As much as I pretended to be strong and accepting of my solitude, deep down I was filled to the rafters with isolation. It hurt so bad that at times I couldn’t even breathe.

  Refusing to the let the tears clogging my throat to fall, I exited the shower and slipped into my favorite flannel pajamas before entering my bedroom. My bedroom was definitely my place of solace. White carpeting and golden oak furniture gave the room a serene feel. The queen sized canopy bed was covered with a white bedspread and fluffy pillows while gold and white cloths draped from the canopy top. I slipped in between the covers and closed my eyes, the ticking of my biological clock and the cloak of loneliness lulling me to sleep.

  Chapter 21

 

  “I know it’s been a few weeks, but I still can’t believe Sparrow’s house was set on fire.”

  Two weeks after my date from hell with Matthew, Sparrow’s house was set on fire while she and her boyfriend, Isaiah, were inside. Raven and I were on the phone going over the plans for Thanksgiving dinner which was in few weeks. As usual, it would be held at my parent’s house in Park Ridge. This, of course, meant that one of my daddy’s mistresses would come and cause a scene. I had grown so accustomed to these frequent visits from his whores that I was now numb to it.

  “Yeah, but she brought it on herself,” Raven said, breaking into my thoughts.

  “That’s not fair. Yeah, Sparrow has lived an uninhibited lifestyle but no one deserves to have their home set on fire, especially with them inside.”

  “Sparrow is a heartless bitch. She doesn’t care about anybody but herself. Now, that the proverbial shit has hit the fan, she has yet to tell Isaiah about her stable of hoes,” Raven said, disgust lining each word.

  “Yeah, well, hopefully she’ll come clean soon because Isaiah is eventually going to find out, particularly if one of those hoes was the one that set the fire.”

  “On another note, I’ve left Dean and started dating Piccolo.”

  “Let me get this straight, Ray. You’ve left your husband of ten years and have started dating his best friend and business partner? Have you lost your damn mind?”

  “Look, I don’t need you to mother me right now. I’ve struggled with this decision enough. Dean and I have been separated for months and I filed for divorce a couple of weeks ago. Piccolo—whose name is actually Pierre—and I started dating officially a couple of days ago. All I want is your support not your judgment.”

  Swallowing my unsolicited advice, I tried to find some comforting words for my sister. “I support you, Ray. You know that, but I’m going to tell you like I told Sparrow, be careful.”

  As I hung up with Raven, jealous anger swarmed in the pit of my stomach. I loved my sisters but this was too much. Each of them behaved in ways that would make my mother have a heart attack yet they both found men that loved them despite all of that.

  Sparrow’s house was almost burnt to the ground, probably by one of her ex-hoes, yet instead of taking stock, she was playing house with Isaiah.

  Raven was married for ten years to an asshole and had finally filed for divorce but instead of figuring out her life she started dating his best friend—who had always been in love with her—days after filling out the paperwork.

  Yet here I was a single, sophisticated, educated, and beautiful woman who had always done the right thing. I had never once been in trouble or acted out of turn and I couldn’t find a decent man to save my life. It wasn’t fair.

  Leaping off my sofa, I raced to my bedroom closet. I was going out. I’d be damned if I spent another Friday night in my cold bed. Rows and rows of pantsuits, skirt suits, and Sunday dres
ses hung on either side of my walk-in closet. How did I let it get this bad? No wonder I’m still single. No man wants to take an accountant to his bed, I thought to myself.

  I sat on the bed wondering if I could still find a mall open that late at night when I remembered a gift that Sparrow had given me a few years back. There in the back of my closet, still with its original tags, was a gold lace mini dress and four inch red stiletto heels. Before I had a chance to hesitate, I started the shower and turned on WGCI to find out where the party was at. I bathed and moisturized before turning my attention to my appearance.

  I fashioned my hair in a faux-hawk, the style accentuating the attractive angles in my face. Dark liner and mascara made my eyes pop while smoky shadow gave me a mysterious allure. Red nail polish on my fingers and toes and clear lip gloss on my full lips finished the look.

  I put the dress on and loved the way the bodice accentuated my generous breasts and flat stomach, while the lace skirt gave tantalizing peeks of my full hips. A gold and red choker was the only jewelry on my body. Slipping into the heels and cashmere jacket, I hopped in my Benz and made my way to Chicago.

  Thirty minutes later, I was in Aphrodisiac. The boom of the bass vibrated in my chest, the strobe lights dazed my mind, and the heat from dancing bodies caused a light sheen of perspiration to form on my very visible skin. I headed straight for the bar to get some much needed liquid courage. I had never been a club person and every time I did go, I had at least three other people with me.

  “Whatcha drinkin’, sexy?” the cute bartender asked.

  “I’ll have a pink panty please.”

  “No problem.”

  I gazed around the club while waiting for my drink. Aphrodisiac was full of people of all ages and races. A large dance floor was in the middle of the space and the DJ booth was on a stage. Tables and couches lined the walls and empty spaces around the dance floor. Scantily clad women danced in suspended cages to the latest hits. The VIP area was on the second floor and the one way glass blocked the important people from view while security kept the unwanted from entering the space.