My legs can’t carry me fast enough, and I force myself to walk at an acceptable pace, watching the numbers above each designated area. My chest tightens as I get to the right place when I hear Julia cry, “Nooooo.”
Pulling back the curtain, my eyes frantically dart to my little niece in the enormous hospital bed. Van’s beside her holding her hand while a doctor examines a gnarly cut above her brow.
“Hey, hey, hey,” I manage in a much calmer voice than I actually feel, “what’s going on?”
“Unks,” Jules calls out, clearly forgetting what she’s been protesting about seconds ago with her attention now focused on me.
“Hey, Jules,” I greet as if she isn’t lying in a hospital bed in her blood-soaked pajamas. Sure, head wounds are known for excessive bleeding, but Van must have freaked out if she saw that gash.
“Hey, Vinny.” The relief in her voice makes my heart ache. Especially when she reaches out her hand for mine.
Fuck. I should’ve been here.
Closing the distance, my stress eases a bit when she squeezes my hand in hers. When our eyes lock, I know without a doubt we will get through this—together. I feel her tension release, and her bravery remains strong. She’s the best mother apart from our own, and I can’t imagine what she’s gone through this morning.
The doctor interrupts my thoughts with, “This will definitely require stitches. You were right to bring her in immediately. With your permission, I’d like to call in our facial plastic surgeon. Since Julia’s so young, with their help, this laceration will soon become a distant memory, rather than a predominate feature.”
No shit.
Of course, we want the scar to be as concealed as possible.
Van and I nod our heads, but she voices her thoughts aloud, “Yes. If you think that’s what’s best. I’d prefer there to be as little of a scar as possible.”
“Sounds like a plan.” The doctor nods in agreement. Then he turns his attention to Julia. “I have a daughter just about your age. You don’t by any chance like Disney movies, do you?”
Wide-eyed, Julia nods her head enthusiastically. “Descendants is my favorite.”
“You’re in luck. I know we have that one in particular in our on-demand videos here at the hospital. Would you like me to get a nurse in here to help you cue it up?”
Julia nods eagerly.
I could care less that this is likely the millionth time she’s watched this show. As long as it works as a distraction from the obvious pain she’s been in, I’ll watch it a gazillion more.
The doctor leaves, and a nurse immediately replaces him before I can find out how they ended up here in the first place.
“I hear there’s a Descendants fan in here. I’m personally envious of Evie’s fashion. Who’s your favorite character?”
Julia rolls her eyes but winces as she says, “Uh… Mal, I want purple hair just like her.”
“Oh, boy, here we go again,” Van whispers more to herself than the room.
Yeah, she’s gonna have her road cut out for her with this one. I’m not sure who will win in the battle of wills. Hopefully, the dye will be temporary.
As the nurse distracts Julia momentarily, I whisper to Van, “So what happened?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she sighs heavily. “I’d just gotten out of the shower when I heard the crash in the kitchen. Apparently…” she side-eyes Julia, “someone couldn’t wait for me to get her a bowl for her cereal and climbed on the counter to get one of those bigger ones we keep up high without using her stool. When she went to jump down, she somehow hit her head on a cupboard door or something. From what I can tell, the bowl broke when she dropped it on her way down.”
“Did she let you know she was up?”
Vanessa’s head shakes defensively. “I had no idea she was up until the screams.”
Noticing the nurse leave, I turn my attention to Julia. “What were you doing up on the counter, squirt?” Recalling the scene at the house, another question comes to mind. “And why didn’t you just use your stepstool?”
Julia shrugs. “I wanted cereal… and I was hungry.”
“We have snacks in your cupboard, Jules,” Van reminds her.
“But Froot Loops and milk is better,” she explains so matter-of-factly. “I didn’t know I’d bonk my head. Blood was everywhere, Unks. It didn’t stop. Momma said I had to come here and fix it.”
Looking at the bandage the doctor had used to cover the wound and seeing blood seep through, I heartily agree. “Momma’s right. I’m sure you scared her.”
“Sorry, Momma,” comes out in a whisper as Julia looks to her toes under the blanket.
“Oh, sweetie,” Vanessa coos as she reaches in for a hug. “I’m not mad. I just got scared because I didn’t know where the blood was coming from. I love you and just want you healthy.”
No kidding. Who knew we needed to worry about her climbing the counters? She’s never even attempted it before. Maybe if I’d been there, I would have heard her meandering around.
With the opening credits finished, Julia’s attention returns to the screen.
I take this moment to check on Van. I’m sure this has rattled her. I can’t imagine walking in on that scene. “You okay, Van?” I ask, pulling her in for a side hug and kissing the top of her head.
Exhaling heavily, I feel her body droop into mine as she whispers, “Yeah. I’m good. You wouldn’t believe how much a relatively small cut in retrospect can bleed.” I’m not sure if she says that last part for my benefit or to herself, as it is nearly inaudible by the end.
Squeezing her tight, I assure her, “It’s all gonna be okay. I’m here… and we’ll get through this together.”
“Thanks, Vinnie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
That’s something I hope she’ll never have to worry about.
Later that night, when I finally lay my head down to rest, my mind whirls like a tornado. A million different thoughts fly at me, but nothing I can grab hold of. I’m exhausted, yet I’m certain sleep will evade me for hours to come.
I’ve heard from Sydney today but explained that something came up with my family, and I”ll talk to her tomorrow. She understands, but I don’t think she can. How the hell do I explain my guilt and anger? It’s not like she’s ever been in my shoes.
Here I was off, having the time of my life, and I let my fucking family down.
It’s unacceptable.
When they needed me, I wasn’t here… and look what happened.
Something could’ve seriously happened to Julia. Jesus, this accident is just the first of many guaranteed to happen in her lifetime. How the hell are Van and I supposed to protect her if there are so many unknowns?
Van shouldn’t have had to go through this alone, either.
Thank God, I’d chosen the correct hospital, so I got there when I did. It was agonizing to watch the doctor stitch Jules up as if it were just another day.
Well, maybe it was for her. It took everything I fucking had not to come undone watching my niece get her stitches like a champ. I’ve had stitches myself, but I’ve never had to watch it done firsthand. God, that was gross.
My phone buzzes on my nightstand, but I don’t have the energy to answer or even look at the incoming text. I’m sure it’s from Syd, but I don’t even know what to say.
I haven’t said much to her other than Vanessa needed my help today. I’m sure I owe her an explanation, but where do I even start? Maybe when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll know what to do.
Tossing my pillow over to the flipside, so I can feel the cool sheets on my cheek, I roll onto my side in hopes of falling asleep and ending this miserable day.
I’ve been so fucking selfish.
My final thoughts before I finally drift off to sleep are loud and clear.
I need to get my priorities in check.
30
Vince
When I wake up the next morning, I’m still out of sorts. Knowing Van has the day off to spend
with Julia, and it’s a Sunday, I ensure another accident won’t happen by setting out cereal and a bowl on the table. Then I head out to burn off this pent-up energy I can’t shake.
After warming up, my feet keep a steady beat on the pavement. Willing my endless thoughts to disappear for just a few fucking minutes, I push myself to eat up the distance between myself and the house. When a clear mind continues to evade me, I push harder.
After several miles, I’m no better off than when I started my journey. My mind is clogged with the realization that I’ve been a selfish bastard. I’ve put my own needs first, and the result is Jules got hurt.
Every time I had looked at Julia’s bandage yesterday, my stomach clenched, and my heart sank. The plastic surgeon claims her scar will hardly be noticeable… eventually. But for me, it’s a constant reminder that I let my eye slip from the prize.
Clearly, my family needs me, and I’m not sure what to do.
God, I love how Sydney makes me feel, like I get to just be me.
She gets me in ways no one ever has.
With her, it’s so much more.
We connect on ways I never thought possible.
But is my situation fair to her?
No matter which way I look at it, the stark reality is no.
Syd deserves to be with someone who puts her first. Someone who isn’t committed to his family the way I am.
Fuck… My family.
There’s nothing I won’t do for them.
God, Van and I are so fucking close at reaching our goal. In just one year, we’ll both be college graduates before Julia reaches kindergarten. We’ve overcome such adversity, most didn’t think we’d be able to handle. Pride soars through me when I know without a doubt, she’ll no longer be at risk for being a statistic because we’ve worked our asses off to make sure it didn’t happen.
Does being with Syd put me at risk of losing this dream of ours?
God knows, Sydney hasn’t had it easy. Between her deadbeat dad and immature mom, then losing her only real support system, she deserves to be treated like a queen. She deserves to find someone who puts her first no matter what.
Someone who will never even fucking ask themselves this question.
Fuck, my gut aches at the thought of her being with someone else.
That’s my stark reality, though. I should let her go.
I know my physical experience is limited with women, but I’ve never felt the connection I do with her. I don’t think it’s just about sex. No. It’s a connection on a cellular level. I swear, it’s like we’re magnets or something. If she moves, I’m instinctually pulled with her.
She’s the type of woman my mom used to tell me about.
Fuck… I haven’t thought about our conversation in years.
Mom used to say physical attraction only gets you so far. I need to find someone who challenges me, who understands my loyalty and won’t take advantage, and someone for whom I will gladly put their needs above my own.
I don’t know how I manage, but I smile at the memory like it was yesterday. The last time we’d spoken of this was the night I’d come home after spending the evening with Anna Hastings with a hickey on my neck and my clothes a rumpled mess. We didn’t have sex obviously, but we’d done everything but. Yet somehow, Mom just knew.
After blatantly denying what I’d been up to, Mom just gave me a knowing grin and said, “You know, Vin, there are gonna be plenty of women you’ll meet along the way that will make you feel good, but I want you to pay close attention to the ones who get you in here.” She placed her hand over her heart. “Knowing you, it will be someone who’s stubborn, challenges you, and won’t let you get away with the crap you’re trying to pull right now.”
Oh, you can bet she gave me her infamous raised eyebrow.
I thought she was crazy at the time, but now that I’ve met Sydney, I realize Mom might’ve been on to something.
I mull over this as I slow my pace back to the house. Once inside, I shower off the sweat from my intense workout. However, I’m still undecided about what to do. I’m torn between being selfish and doing what’s right for Sydney. She needs someone who can love her the way she deserves.
Fuck… The thought of someone else taking my place rips me apart.
Why couldn’t I’ve met Sydney a year from now? It would be so much easier if my life were my own, and I didn’t have two others who depend on me.
Sighing heavily, I force myself through the motions of getting dressed.
I hear my phone vibrate with an incoming message, but I’m in no mood for company. Exiting my room, I leave my phone on the bed and go in search of food.
“Good run, Unks?” Julia asks as I enter the kitchen.
I startle because in my current funk, I clearly don’t see her coloring at the kitchen table, which makes her giggle.
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I shrug. “It was okay. But I’m starving. Did you leave me any food in the fridge?”
Looking at the bandage above her eye, it takes everything in me not to cringe. But of course, I stop myself because that’s the last thing she needs.
“Oh, you silly, Unks. I can’t eat all the food in the fridge. My tummy isn’t that big.”
“Oh, really, I bet if it was all broccoli, you would.”
She puts her hand on her chin and looks to the ceiling as she seriously thinks about my suggestion. “Maybe…”
Shaking my head at her antics, I say, “Squirt, I’m not sure your tummy is big enough for an entire fridge full of broccoli, unless you have two hollow legs and can store it in your arms.”
Jules gives me just what I need. Her light tinkling laugh is infectious, and she has me joining her.
“Oh, Jules. Thank you,” I say when I finally pull in a solid breath.
Her lone visible eyebrow shoots to her hairline, causing her to flinch. “Does it hurt too bad?” I ask, pointing at her injury.
Shaking her head, she says, “Only when I do that.”
“Well, stop already then,” I tease.
God, I hate seeing her hurt.
In an attempt to change the subject, I ask, “What are you coloring, Jules?”
“I’m making Momma a picture of the kitty I want to get. Did you know that my teacher’s kitty had babies and they need new homes? Can we get one?”
I’m not stepping on that landmine with a ten-foot pole. I’m only the Unks for a reason. “Oh, squirt.” I chuckle, knowing Van’s gonna hate me. “That’s up to your mom. You’ll have to win that battle with her.”
Julia’s eyes sparkle with delight as she pushes back her chair from the table and runs out of the room like her feet are on fire.
Vanessa’s gonna kill me, I’m sure of it.
“Walk!” I holler after her, though I’m sure it lands on deaf ears. The patter of her feet echoes throughout the house, and I can only shake my head as I quickly throw a sandwich together and retreat to my room.
My phone buzzes on my bed, and Sydney’s name flashes across the screen.
As much as I want to talk to her, I’m just not ready. But I can’t help myself when I pick up the phone to open my text messages.
There are actually several messages, and guilt eats at me as I scroll through the messages from this morning. The first one came through around nine.
Sydney: Good Morning (Smiley face emoji)
The next one came through an hour later.
Sydney: Are we still on for studying this afternoon?
Just now, the message reads:
Sydney: Did miracles happen, and you actually slept in??? Call me when you get this. I’m starting to worry.
Glancing at the clock, I realize it’s after eleven. Not wanting to get into things via text, I take the coward’s way out and quickly type out a reply.
Me: Still dealing with family things. Need to cancel. Sorry.
Yeah, it’s a dick move, but I’m so fucking torn at the moment.
I see the message quickly turn from delivered
to read, then the three dots appear immediately.
Sydney: Everything okay?
No, it’s not fucking okay. But I’m not ready to deal with this shit now.
The lie flies out of my fingers, and I press send before I can second-guess myself.
Me: Yeah. Just dealing with family stuff.
Syd’s reply is instant.
Sydney: I’m here if you need me.
Not knowing what else to say, I quickly reply with a noncommittal text.
Me: Thanks.
Before she can send another text that I’ll be forced to reply to, I cut the conversation off abruptly.
Me: Gotta run. Can’t talk now.
I’m such a fucking liar. But what else am I supposed to do?
31
Sydney
Vince has been avoiding me since Sunday morning. He’s texted but has been completely disconnected. I expected to get to the bottom of things when he came to class today, but to my utter shock, he didn’t show.
I’ve texted to see where he was, thinking something might have happened but get no response. I might as well have skipped class for all the good it does me sitting there. My body is present, but my mind is on the man avoiding me. What the fuck is going on?
The minute class is over, I high-tail it over to Vince’s. Whatever’s going on, I’m getting to the bottom of it. I just hope he’s home when I get there.
Knocking on the door, I’m greeted with a surprised Vanessa. “Hey, Syd. What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Van,” I mutter in an attempt to keep my emotions at bay. “Is Vince around?”
Confusion continues to cloud her expression. “Uh… don’t the two of you have class today?”
Nodding, I admit, “He wasn’t there.”
“Hmmm… That’s odd.” She looks behind her into the house for a second before stating, “He’s not here, and I have no idea where he is. Have you tried calling him?”
Vince: Book Two of the Perfectly Independent Series Page 25
