Pirates Versus Ninjas

by Andy Marlow

themselves up with their captain’s help.

  Once out, the three comrades-at-arms began their journey back to their crewmates displaying a confidence they neither deserved nor felt. Their strides were long and purposeful as if they knew where they were going when in actual fact their solitary guide was an instinctive, faded memory of how they had arrived in this glade in the first place. In truth, they had all been paying more attention to their guide- the treacherous Jack- than to the route he was leading them on; consequently they set off blindly into the infinite forest, armed only with hope that they were marching in the right direction.

  They were not. But as it turned out, their navigational error was leading them right towards where they needed to be despite their not even knowing it.

  For five minutes into their trek, when their outer show of confidence was fraying, when unified companionship could so easily become terse rivalry, a call from their left rallied them round and gave them hope.

  “Captain! Captain!”

  Bluebeard’s world-worn face turned irritatedly to the source of the cry. He struggled to see where it was coming from at first, for all that lay in his field of vision was leaves and foliage. Yet a muffled cough and a ruffling of leaves pinpointed his sight exactly to a spot ten paces to his left midway between two elms.

  It was Liu. The voice continued calling in the unmistakeable voice and accent of his stolen maiden. His face erupted into a big, wide grin and he felt the nearest thing to joy that a pirate can feel. His feet raced away from his comrades to the siren song; within a minute, he was there, standing on the edge of a hidden pit in which Liu, Woody, Saunders and Marley were waiting disgruntled.

  The sides were cut deep with finger marks and the three captives’ hands were mud stained. They had clearly tried many times to escape their entrapment without success. Upon seeing her Captain, Liu’s voice burst into a pur of happiness; Marley had to look twice before realising this was a pirate rescue, not a ninja punishment; Woody, meanwhile, simply avoided looking at Bluebeard out of embarrassment that his legendary tracking skills had led him and his colleagues straight into a ninja trap. His face glowed crimson and his body language was tight.

  “You scurvy dog, got lost in a hole did you?” teased Bluebeard.

  Woody had to look now that his Captain was addressing him. He smiled apologetically. “Well, we did find her, cap’n,” he countered. “You sent us out to find Bottle-Neck and here she is.”

  There she was indeed: curled up in a humiliated ball and hidden under a mound of leaves in the corner of the pit, away from everyone else.

  “And what did you do?” he snarled at her. He was not teasing now; evidently he was still cross at her and made no attempt to hide it.

  “The ninjas got me,” she whined from beneath her leaves. Still she would not come out, such was her shame. “They threw me in here.”

  Bluebeard just stared at her, aghast. “You really are the most useless pirate I have ever had the misfortune to know,” he growled. “But I need my crew right now. I need you all to fight the ninjas, even you. I just hope if any more die you’ll be the first.”

  A sob came from beneath the leaves. Just one, though; then she managed to hide her tears and toughen up. She came out from under her cover with a determined glow in her eyes and wordlessly stared at her Captain, trying to tell him just with her facial expression I won’t let you down.

  The Captain smirked. “Right, best be getting you all out of here,” he opined.

  That was the difficult part. The pit was three tall men deep and Marley had injured his leg in the fall. Being a doctor he had patched it up as best he could, but there’s only so much you can do with mud and leaves. All he had managed to do was make a crude type of bandage which did nothing for the pain and still left him almost unable to walk.

  The Captain ordered Simon to lower Jawface down into the pit as a sort of human ladder, but even with his height the occupants of the trap were unable to reach him. A solid foot remained between the hands of Simon (reaching down) and Woody (reaching up). So the Captain reluctantly became part of the human chain (reluctantly because he was trying to maintain a veneer of detached authority) and, at last, it was big enough: first Woody, then Marley, then Liu grabbed onto Jawface’s back and were hoisted up out of the pit to safety.

  “Right then, let’s go,” ordered the Captain.

  Saunders heard this from her solitary position deep in the pit and felt her stomach drop. She did not expect compassion from her crewmates, but nor did she expect to be left abandoned down here when the rest were saved.

  “What about me?” she protested.

  “You’re a liability,” the Captain called down. “We’re not taking you. Why don’t you make yourself useful and feed yourself to the crows?”

  She felt like crying, but knew she should not. Tears can never move a pirate’s heart; what is needed is courage, a swashbuckling spirit which cares not for other people’s feelings.

  So she resolved herself. “Captain, I’m the best navigator you’ve ever had and I’m a darn good pirate too. I’ve stolen you gold and I’ve fought for you against our enemies. I even saved your life against the Vikings. You need me now so you’re NOT leaving without me, you- you dog!”

  The last words hit Bluebeard like a hammer. His head appeared over the precipice of the pit and he scowled down at her menacingly. “Do you dare?” he began. “Do you presume to tell me what to do?” He did not wait for an answer but merely spat down in her direction before abandoning her there and moving off into the forest.

  He strode away from the pit with the noise of Saunders’ protests in the background. She was continuing to shout out, alternately cursing his name and begging his mercy as if unsure what to say. He ignored her, though, as did most of the crew. An evil look adorned his face: eyes small, nose flaring, mouth turned upwards in disgust. His crew followed, largely unconcerned by the events they had just seen, but Bluebeard was grossly affected. His eyes were working in tunnel-vision only as he saw solely the forest ahead of him, not thinking about where he had been or where he was going but simply stepping one foot in front of the other with no thought whatsoever. Emotion ran his body while his mind ranted about the mutinous dog trapped in the pit.

  How dare she challenge him, he thought. How dare she presume to tell Captain Bluebeard, scourge of all the seas north of Spain, what to do. He had not earned his position or reputation today by listening to others, by showing mercy. No- he had done as all pirates did: acted selfishly, done as he wished with no consideration for anybody but himself. He banged his fists on his chest as he walked, displaying his masculine prowess.

  A girl, as well. She, a girl, had dared to challenge him and- and insult him! Outside he was furious, ferocious; inside he was fearful at the mutinous sentiment running riot around his crew. First Greenbeard, now Saunders, on entirely separate occasions. He glanced behind him nervously. Marley and Woody were just behind him, talking in low whispers. Low whispers, as if they had something to hide from him. Why would they speak so quietly unless they disagreed with his leadership?

  He drew his sword and thrust it at Marley’s throat unexpectedly. He jumped back, almost having walked into his death, a fearful look upon his face.

  “W-what are you doing?” he stammered nervously.

  “You know what I’m doing, you cad, and you know why,” growled the Captain. “What were you talking about with Woody? Hmm? Confess, ye mutinous dog!”

  Marley’s face went through a mix of emotions in a matter of seconds: first confusion, then disbelief, then understanding. “We were discussing the best route to the mansion, Captain. We’re quite lost and Woody is quite the tracker. And, well, with my leg I can’t walk very fast, so if there’s an easy route-”

  The Captain thrusted his blade closer to Marley’s neck. The medic backed away hurriedly, sweating profusely.

  “Do I lead a ship of cowards, Marley? A ship of weaklings and fools?” he challenged him. “with my leg I can’t wa
lk very fast”, he mocked, “and please, sir, can I have a cushion? Maybe some tea and scones too? What kind of pirate are you?”

  Marley was speechless. He had never been at this end of the Captain’s rage before, having always been his right-hand man in matters of crew welfare, and was quite honestly unsure how to react.

  Liu intervened. She grabbed the Captain’s shoulder and dragged him away from his crew in only the way a woman could so that they were out of earshot and began to lay into her rescuer.

  “What kind of pirate are you, Bluebeard?” she asked with a voice that was simultaneously soothing and challenging. “If you continue like this, you’re going to provoke the very mutiny you fear happening.”

  Bluebeard’s face emptied of blood. He would not have taken such criticism from any other member of his crew, but he esteemed Liu with great mystical abilities and took her every word seriously.

  “The gods have told you this, have they?” he asked weakly.

  “No,” she snapped. “They do not need to. I can see it with my own common sense. Now go and release that poor girl from the pit at once. She could be a useful asset to us in battle.”

  “But-“ sulked Bluebeard. “But she called me a dog.”

  “Man up, for gods’ sake!” Liu whispered in hushed tones. “The best way to lose an enemy is to create a friend, and the best way to lose