Hard to Say Yes (The Fallout Series Book 3)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  The entire time I thought Ian was the kind of guy I was supposed to want when in reality he was the guy my parents had warned me about. They just hadn’t known that was the kind of guy he was and neither had I… until I did. My parents would probably love Tegan given how genuinely likable he was and while they’d also liked Ian… well, my mom did. My father hadn’t truly liked him. However, my mother didn’t know what he was really like anyway.

  Maybe it was time to take a chance. I wasn’t the Maddie I’d been in high school anymore. The one Laney had always said every guy wanted. In reality, a lot of guys had wanted to go out with me once they’d learned I’d had sex with Colin Doyle at the end of tenth grade. That made me easy apparently when I was anything but. Colin had been my boyfriend for a year and a half. After that, there’d been only one other guy until Zac. Then not another for a long time after. Being a senior with a kid scared most of the douchebags off.

  “Ready?” Laney asked as I finished with the vegetables.

  “Yup.”

  Rhian came in with the chicken. We might’ve eaten outside pretty often over here, but we always put the food in the house. Who wanted to deal with the bugs?

  “I can make Dylan’s plate,” Zac offered.

  “I’ve already started it,” I told him and quickly snatched a paper plate off the stack to prove it.

  Zac held up his hands and said, “My bad.” Then we both laughed.

  Once I had the food he’d like on the plate, I took it outside to the little guy. “Here’s some food, Dylan,” I told him.

  “Do I have to get out?” he asked back, a pout already forming on his face.

  I put my hands on my hips and said, “How about you get out and have some lunch but you don’t have to change? You can get right back in. Then a popsicle later.”

  “Unless the ice cream truck comes by. Dad said we could get one if it comes out.”

  “Even better,” I told him.

  Which meant he’d be eating something from the ice cream truck. No way it wouldn’t come out later in the afternoon. I’d heard it earlier, so that must’ve been when Zac had told him they’d get something later.

  Dylan climbed up onto one end of the table, dripping water everywhere, and began eating right away. I had to remind him to slow down before he made himself sick. Then I went back into the kitchen to get some food for myself. The others were getting settled around the picnic table with an umbrella over it that was new in the backyard. Laney must’ve just gotten it recently. Good idea, considering how much they ate outside.

  Except for Tegan. He was still in the kitchen making up his plate.

  “Hey,” he said when he saw me.

  “Hey.” I grabbed a paper plate. “Sorry about eavesdropping earlier.” Though I really wasn’t. Hearing him look for advice on how to get me to go out with him made me feel… wanted in a way I hadn’t before. Like he wasn’t worried about having to try with me. He’d do what it took.

  Tegan shrugged. “I don’t care that you heard us.”

  “Seriously?”

  He shook his head. “Not at all.” Now he stopped and his eyes settled on mine. I couldn’t have looked away if I’d wanted to. “At least you know I’m serious.”

  I quickly wet my lips and took a breath. I didn’t want him to ask me out right now. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew I did want him to ask me out again.

  “Ask me again in a few days,” I told him.

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “I can do that.”

  We took our plates out to the picnic table. Zac, Laney, and Dylan were on one side, Rhian and Porter on the other. I slid in next to Rhian and Tegan sat beside me. There was plenty of room, but I was acutely aware of every single time his arm brushed mine.

  Chapter Six

  The rest of the week I’d thought about whether I should say yes to a date with Tegan, so much that I was driving myself crazy. Since I couldn’t seem to determine what made a guy a good choice. I thought I’d need some help. And not the Laney-and-Rhian kind of help, given that they knew Tegan and would, of course, tell me to go.

  “Hey, Dylan,” I called out from the kitchen. “Are you packing your bag?”

  His little voice came back with, “Yes,” even though it was muffled by his bedroom door.

  It was likely he’d pack far too much for a single night at my parents’ house. He did it every Thursday. I didn’t have to drop him off until six, so we had plenty of time to get his three bags down to one if he went overboard again.

  Twenty minutes later, I found that he had in fact overpacked again.

  But I smiled widely. He was always so excited to spend the night with my parents that he didn’t want to leave anything home.

  “Hey, bud, we better try to lighten the load a bit. You don’t need this much for one night.”

  “But what if Grandpa wants to play some of these games with me?” he asked, his eyes wide.

  “They have games there. You just need pajamas and clothes for tomorrow.”

  “Can I take a couple with me?”

  This was the same conversation we had every single week. There was something comforting about the monotony of it.

  “Anything you can fit into this bag.” I pointed to the biggest of the bags he was dragging behind him. “But all of your clothes need to be in there as well.”

  He sighed. “Fine.” He shuffled back off to his bedroom.

  My tiny apartment didn’t have a hallway. It was more of a tiny landing where to the right was my room, the left Dylan’s and straight ahead, the bathroom. We had an OK-sized living room and an eat-in kitchen. It was small, but I could afford it on my own.

  Twenty minutes later, Dylan came back out of his room with only the one bag and declared himself ready to go. I grabbed my crossbody purse and keys, then followed him out the door.

  My parents only lived about ten minutes away. The closer we got, the more excited Dylan became. I often wondered if my parents just let the kids run wild without rules and that was the reason they loved it there so much. Unlikely but still, there had to be something. My parents would be just as sad as the kids when school started back up and the older ones had to go to school which would mean no more Thursday nights for them. But every summer Thursday night came back.

  My sister’s car was already in their driveway when we arrived. Dylan hopped out of the car before I was even able to cut the engine. He always waited for me to be in Park, at least. I followed him inside. By the time I got through the door, Dylan had run off with his cousins. They were probably half the reason he got so excited to come over here.

  “I guess he won’t miss his mother,” I told my dad as he sat on the couch watching a baseball preshow, iced tea in hand. He’d always said he wished one of us girls looked like him with blond hair and blue eyes but alas I’d told him he wouldn’t make the prettiest woman. We all favored our mother.

  “Ah, it’s the non-stop ice cream and candy we feed him while he’s here.”

  Not likely. My parents were still sticklers for eating proper meals before their treats. Both were in their fifties, so they weren’t even old yet. They said they were old enough to be empty nesters but young enough to enjoy their grandkids.

  Dad pushed up from the couch and headed toward the back of the house where all the laughter was coming from and probably where my mother was.

  “You got plans tonight?” Natalie asked as my parents laughed at the kids in the background.

  “Not a one.” Though I always wished I did have plans when my boy was gone. Passed the time quicker. “Wait, what are you doing tonight? Do you have time for a drink?”

  “Always. I have nothing and Chris is working.”

  Natalie’s husband, Chris, was an EMT, which meant that sometimes he had to work second shift or even overnight. Nat’s oldest, Georgia, was ten now and not Chris’ daughter, but he sure treated her like she was. They’d met just after Nat turned eighteen, which meant Georgia had been three, had gotten married three
years later, and had had their son, Mikey, a year after that. The little guy was only three and followed Dylan around like my son was his idol.

  “Mom, Dad,” I called out. They shuffled into the room together, Dad with his arm around Mom. She had her light brown hair pulled back into a braid. “We’re heading out. Pick the kids up in the morning?”

  “You can wait until the afternoon,” Mom told me. Dad would have to work in the morning, but Mom worked part-time from home doing medical billing, which was why she could take the kids for us when we needed her. Made us working a lot easier.

  “See you then,” Natalie called over her shoulder on her way out the door.

  Dylan ran into the room for a last hug before I followed behind her.

  We each drove separately to the closest bar, which didn’t look too busy from the parking lot. We didn’t come to this one often since Mack’s was the bar of choice but this would do.

  “I called Emily to come join us,” Nat said as soon as we were both out of our cars.

  “Perfect.”

  Our other sister wasn’t married yet. No kids either. She was twenty-three and having fun, according to her. The three of us were as close as sisters could be. We worked together, we hung out together. Though I felt like Natalie would’ve appreciated it if the two of us would get with someone permanent so Chris would have someone to talk to when we were all together. Instead, he was stuck with us girls.

  Natalie and I settled into a booth and ordered our drinks. One for Emily too since we knew she’d want white wine, which was what I ordered as well. Then Emily dropped into the booth with us as the drink arrived.

  “No plans tonight?” I asked her.

  She rolled her eyes. “None. I’m taking a break from douchebags.”

  Natalie and I snorted at the same time. Emily had a long history of assholes in her life.

  “Not that I don’t love hanging out with you two,” Emily began. “But what are we doing here tonight?”

  They both looked to me since I was the one who’d suggested getting together.

  “I have this thing that I don’t know what to do with.”

  Natalie drained half her drink and said, “Spill it. Let your sisters help you figure out your life.”

  “Not me,” Emily countered. “I don’t have my own together enough to figure yours out, but I’ll help where I can.”

  I took a deep breath then swallowed hard. They knew everything that had happened with Ian, why we weren’t together any longer, and what he wanted me to do. I’d told them each in the week after we’d broken up. They hated him for me.

  “So there’s a guy—”

  “There’s always a guy,” Emily told me.

  “Not for me,” I said. They both cocked their heads to the side and pursed their lips. “Not anymore,” I clarified. “But there’s a guy who has made it clear he’d like to go out with me. He’s only asked the one time officially and I said no. I’m not sure if I really want to say no again.”

  “Is he hot?” Emily asked.

  It took everything I had not to smile. Tegan was possibly the best-looking man I’d seen in person. His attractiveness wasn’t a question. “Yes.”

  “What’s he look like?” Natalie asked. “Tell us about him.”

  “He’s tall, taller than Zac and Porter. Muscular. Brown hair, dark brown eyes.”

  “Great. We could put a be-on-the-lookout notice for him and eighty percent of the male population given that your description was so utterly vague.”

  I rolled my eyes at her but she wasn’t wrong. “He’s…” I took a moment because I knew I wasn’t giving them what they wanted. I’d just run down his statistics, but that wasn’t what they were asking. Not really. “He’s incredibly nice, which I don’t trust.”

  “Why not?”

  “Ian was nice. Until he insisted I needed to let him fuck me in the ass and give up my kid.” I took another drink of my wine. “Maybe I just shouldn’t date for a while.”

  “You know,” Natalie started as she tapped a finger against her chin. “I think you left out a few details in the Ian debriefing.”

  “No kidding,” Emily agreed. “You told us about the papers but nothing about the ass stuff.”

  Ignoring them, because I’d forgotten that I had left that part out, I said, “So, I don’t think I should date for a while.”

  “Please.” Emily scoffed. “You should date more. Or not date exactly but hop on an app. Get you some good sex without worrying about a relationship. Ian couldn’t have been very good in bed given how fucking selfish he turned out to be.”

  “He was fine,” I countered, though had no idea why I felt the need to defend him.

  Both my sisters rolled their eyes, but Emily said, “Sounds amazing.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that crossed my face, given her sarcasm. She was right. I deserved better.

  “What’s his name? What’s he do?” Emily asked. She hadn’t been at the salon the day I told Natalie about him.

  “Tegan Schwartz. He’s a surgical physician assistant.”

  Her eyes narrowed on me. “Schwartz? Isn’t that—”

  “Rhian’s brother,” I finished for her. They’d both met Rhian several times over the past year and knew how much work I’d had to do to get back into a normal rhythm with Laney. Which included befriending Rhian.

  “Give us more,” Natalie urged. “What else will help us help you decide?”

  Now that I had to think about for a second. I didn’t want to make this decision based on hormones. “Well, I snapped at him the other night, then went to his house the next day to apologize. He accepted without giving me much shit about it.”

  “That’s good.”

  I nodded because Ian would’ve pouted for days. “Yeah. And then he made me dinner because he thought I needed it.”

  “Even better,” Emily added.

  “After that, I overheard him talking to Zac about me.” Both of their eyes grew wide. They liked Zac, but they also knew what we were and what we had never been. “He asked Zac for advice on how to get me to go out with him, and not just for sex.”

  Emily snorted into her glass, then set it back on the table. “They all want sex.”

  We all giggled because once again, she wasn’t wrong. “Well, yeah. Have you seen me? He admitted as much and said yes, eventually, but he just wanted to get me to go out with him.”

  My sisters grew quiet listening to what I’d just told them. This was what we did. We listened and contemplated. Then we gave our advice whether the sister in need was going to listen to it or not.

  “You should go out with him,” Emily said first. “He sounds like a decent guy and once you go out a few times, you can bring him around for the two of us to make a final determination. Just don’t fall head over heels in love with him on the first date.”

  Natalie turned her head toward our sister, blinking as if confused. Then her gaze fell on me. “I actually agree with Emily on this one.”

  “What?”

  “Go out with him? What’s the worst that could happen?” she asked.

  I groaned, not wanting to think of all the ways Tegan could break my heart.

  “Want me to be real with you?” Natalie asked.

  “That’s why we’re all here.”

  “You should say yes because if you really didn’t want to go out with Tegan, this decision wouldn’t be so difficult for you.”

  Now that was the truth I was looking for. Natalie was the older, wiser sister amongst us and she tended to look at things objectively. Maybe it was because she’d had a kid at fifteen and had to grow up super quickly because of it. Whatever the reason, she was who Emily and I needed in our lives.

  “Then next time he asks, I’ll accept.”

  We clinked our glasses together to seal the deal, then ordered another round.

  The three of us stayed at the bar for a while, drinking and talking. We pretty much nursed our second glass of wine then ordered pop. A few people we’d k
nown forever showed up and joined us for a bit, but the majority of the time, it was the three of us. We hadn’t done this in so long and it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

  Chapter Seven

  Following that night at the bar with my sisters, I didn’t see Tegan for days. I picked Dylan up from my parents’ house on Friday and we hung out together for the weekend. We went to the park and watched an animated movie we’d seen a hundred times, then he rode his bike while I walked beside him. He was on the verge of getting his training wheels off. The two of us baked some M & M cookies together on Saturday.

  The little turd kept trying to pick the candy out of the cookies and I had to explain, more than once, that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough because of the uncooked eggs. Even though I wanted to dive in and eat the entire bowl full. I didn’t, though. I set a good example.

  Being with my kid was one of my favorite ways to spend my time. We talked and laughed and he was turning out to have quite the sense of humor. Zac and I had switched weekends for the stupid trip to Chicago, which meant I got my boy for two weekends in a row. The first was a success.

  Dylan loved going to my parents’ house when I had to work, though if Zac happened to be off, he went there instead. Zac would’ve loved to have fifty-fifty split on time with Dylan and we’d tried that. But the kid’s behavior went off the rails with all of the constant change. We assumed that would be different when he got older, but for now, we stuck as closely to a schedule as we could. We did have joint legal custody, so decisions were made together.

  After dropping my small fry off at my parents’, I headed into work with a full day of clients ahead of me.

  The first one was just a quick cut. The second was a color, cut, and style. It was one after another until finally, lunch was just around the corner. One last morning client before I could go grab something to eat. I was hungry as hell, my stomach making some seriously unflattering sounds that I sure hoped my clients couldn’t hear, and the deli around the corner was calling my name. If they heard anything, they were nice enough not to comment.