“OK, well, do it quickly before I have to start dating Tegan.”
“Gross,” I told her then went back to cutting Dylan’s hair.
My sister would’ve never dated someone I had. That was sister code number one.
Dylan sat perfectly still the entire time, as if he knew that by doing so, he’d get to his dad’s quicker.
Then we headed for Zac’s.
No sooner was I shutting the car off was Dylan out of the car and running up the porch steps. Laney stepped out as Dylan ran inside and yelled bye. Obviously, I’d be missed.
Zac came out behind her and we met halfway between the house and my car.
“He clearly misses me when I’m not around,” I said to them, then we all laughed.
“He does,” Zac countered. “He’s just excited.”
“I know. I’m just kidding.”
“Too bad you have to work today,” Laney said. She glanced at Zac.
He raised an eyebrow and said, “Yeah, it is. Given that you almost never work the weekend.”
“True.” He’d known my schedule since forever and while the hours sometimes changed, the days rarely did. We had people who really needed to work the weekend and I wasn’t one of them. “It’s just for a while. Someone needed me to cover.”
“Then come to the pond when you’re done.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” No, I wouldn’t. Since I wasn’t working and had no intention of going because again, I didn’t want to see Tegan with everyone around.
“OK, well… ” Laney said. “We’re going to get changed before the little guy explodes. See you later?”
“Sure.”
The two of them headed back for the house, but when Laney turned back to wave I mouthed a silent thank you. She smiled in return.
On my way back to my car, I became aware that someone was watching me. I glanced over and found Tegan headed my way.
Shit.
There wasn’t enough time for me to get inside my car before he was all around me, taking up all the air. He looked good. In scrubs, looking like the sexiest doctor I’d ever seen and I had to remind myself of the events that led us here.
“You’re alive,” he said, but he didn’t necessarily sound happy about that.
“I am. But I need to get to work.”
“You don’t work on Sunday,” he countered. Damn it. He knew my schedule too.
“I’m covering for a coworker for a while.”
His jaw tightened and he cocked his head to the side. His eyes gave away the fact that he didn’t believe me. “This is bullshit, Maddie.”
“That I have to work?”
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” he said loudly.
I glanced around to check if anyone else was around. Zac was hovering near the front screen door, though he was trying not to be seen. I saw him and loved him for it. But I wasn’t going to need his protection. I knew with absolute certainty that Tegan wouldn’t touch me if I didn’t want him to.
“I don’t have time for this,” I told him. With people watching was exactly what I didn’t want. I’d intended to take today to really look inside myself to figure my feelings out. To figure myself out.
“Ghosting me is bullshit.” He kept talking. “If you don’t want to see me anymore, fine. I’ll fucking hate it and I’ll try to talk you out of it but at the very least, have the fucking balls to tell me. Don’t just ignore me when I don’t even know what happened. I thought we were good.”
My spine went pencil straight as my heart took off like a racehorse trampling through my chest. He sounded so pained and I hated that I was doing this to him but for the first time in my life I needed to do something for myself first. “I told you I was going to be busy for a few days. I don’t have everything figured out yet.”
His face softened. Some of the anger there dissipated. “Don’t have what figured out yet? Me?” His phone buzzed and he yanked it out of the back pocket of the scrub pants. Then his jaw tensed and he looked back to me. “I have to get to the hospital for an emergency, but we’re not done.” And as if he didn’t care at all about my response, he jogged over to his car, hopped inside, and sped away.
I took a deep breath to settle myself. Having him so close even for that few moments, already began to cloud my thoughts. My heart wanted to pull him closer and it missed the fact that he wasn’t there anymore. My head screamed at me to get my act together before bringing someone else into this life I was living.
I’d just have to hope that Tegan would still be there when the two caught up to each other.
Chapter Seventeen
Zac and I had talked more about splitting our time with Dylan more evenly and decided it’d be best to wait the few weeks until school started. The kid was spending a ton of time with my sister and her kids and parents. We didn’t want to interrupt that because once school started, there’d be no more Thursday nights at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. This would give him something else to look forward to. My parents would change the plan to one Saturday night a month because the kids were getting busier. They hated it.
My sister asked if Dylan could spend the night at her house Friday night. I had to clear it with Zac, but he said of course since we all knew that Dylan would love to go. It was a slumber party for my nephew’s birthday, though the family wasn’t celebrating until Sunday.
After dropping him off, I had no idea what I was going to do with myself. Until Laney called.
“What’re you doing tonight?” she asked after I answered the phone.
“Uh… I’d guess less than nothing. Dylan’s staying at Natalie’s tonight for Mikey’s birthday.”
“You should come over,” she said.
Not really a place I wanted to be. Tegan lived right next door and could stop over anytime or see me there and want to talk. A talk needed to happen, but I wanted to be right in my head first. I’d put Tegan off too long as it was. My head knew I needed to tell him what was going on with me but my heart wasn’t ready to see the disappointment in his eyes when I did. Nor was I ready for him to decide I wasn’t worth the trouble.
“I don’t know.”
“Listen. I know you’re upset and sad.” Which meant someone was around her and she didn’t want to give me away. “Come over. You, me, and Rhian can have some girl time. We’ll lock the guys out of the house.”
“Or send them out to have a couple of beers with their other bros.”
She laughed. “That’s an excellent idea. They’re actually pretty annoying.”
Now I knew she was trying to make me feel better.
“OK, fine.” I finally gave in. “But I’m not dressing up for you.”
“You’ll still be hot.”
I shook my head and ended the call.
When I got to their house, there was no mistaking the fact that they were all in the backyard. The loud voices told me that as soon as I arrived. Not knowing what I’d walk into, I slid around the side of the house without announcing myself to check things out first.
“I don’t even know what the fuck I did,” Tegan said, so obviously talking about me. “I don’t know how to get into that woman’s trusted inner circle. I thought I was doing everything right.”
“Maybe try not being a fucking asshole,” Zac countered. Though I wasn’t sure why he said it though his lingering at the door during Tegan and my conversation the other day might’ve been the reason.
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
“Hey,” Rhian snapped. “That’s my brother. I’m the only one that gets to call him a fucking asshole. So don’t be a dick, Zac.”
“Rhian,” Zac said in his pissed-as-hell-but-keeping-his-calm voice. “You’ve got a home. Go to it.”
Laney smacked Zac’s shoulder. “Zac.”
Porter took a step toward his friend. This was exactly what I worried about. Our group was a family, but Tegan was Rhian’s actual family. Rhian would always come to Tegan’s defense, which she should, and Porter would support
Rhian, as he should. But it was causing problems. I decided then and there that audience didn’t matter. I needed to talk this out with Tegan now.
“Zac?” Porter shook his head. “Why would you say that? You’re my best friend, but she sits on my face and lets me taste that sweet nectar. Rhian’s not a woman you don’t defend and I don’t want to fight you. You wouldn’t believe the things she lets me do.”
Rhian turns to her boyfriend, her eyes wide. “Are you kidding me?” she yells. “My brother is right here.”
Both Laney and Zac tried not to laugh. Which was what I was trying not to do, too. Porter said those things on purpose to diffuse the situation. But a small giggle escaped my lips and every single one of them turned to me. Shit.
“Or maybe,” Laney said, speaking above the others. “Maybe she doesn’t want to feel like Maddie Preston, the woman every guy wants to bang anymore. Maybe she wants to feel like more.”
Tegan walked away from the others right toward me and stopped when our toes almost touched. The anger dripped from his beautiful features. No matter what I said, this wasn’t going to go well but I had to say it.
I opened my mouth to speak but he didn’t let me get a word out.
“Is that what you think?” he asked. Tegan might’ve been angry but he kept his voice low and under control. “That I’m like the guys they’re talking about?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “Fuck this. I don’t need this shit.”
He moved so quickly that when he passed by, his shoulder hit mine, totally by accident, and I lost my balance until I could brace myself on the side of the house. Yup. That was about how I expected this to end once I saw his anger.
My face burned over the fact that everyone else had just witnessed that. One good thing about my breakup with Ian was that no one had been there to see it in real-time. After a quick glance back to them, I turned on my heel and headed straight back to my car.
“Maddie!” Laney called out first. Ignoring it wasn’t going to do any good, but I was going to try anyway. “Maddie.”
Shit. Her voice wasn’t getting farther away, which meant at least Laney was following me. When I turned the corner of my car, I found out just how wrong I was. They were all following me.
“Maddie,” Laney said again. “Don’t leave.”
“I don’t want to be here right now.”
“We have plans. Let’s keep our plans.”
My hand rested on the door handle. I’d just been about to open it when they all ambushed me. I did want to know what had happened before I arrived, but Rhian was looking at me with a tight jaw and eyes that didn’t necessarily say that she loved me.
I glanced from her to both of the guys. They’d been with me when Laney moved away. No fault of her own, of course, but in some ways, I was closer to them than her.
Zac turned to her and ran his hand up her bicep. “Why don’t you and Rhian go inside? Maddie will be in in a minute.”
I furrowed my brows at him assuming I’d go in there. But regardless, Laney sighed and linked her arm through Rhian’s to pull her inside the house. Surprisingly, they didn’t linger by the front screen door to eavesdrop.
“Why are you leaving?” Zac asked once the girls were gone.
“Uh, did you not just see what happened? I don’t want to hang out with his sister right now.”
“She’s fine,” Porter protested, so I narrowed my eyes on him. “Did you not hear what I said about defending her?”
I bit my lips together to keep from laughing. Damn Porter and his ability to lighten any mood.
Instead, I looked back to Zac. “Why did you tell him to not be a fucking asshole? What do you know?”
“Nothing,” he said too quickly, but I turned my face to stone and waited for him to realize that I didn’t believe the single word he’d said. “Porter told me that he saw you out the other day.”
“And?” I prodded.
“He told me what Tegan said about you being a trophy wife or whatever and that’s fucking bullshit. That’s the shit Ian used to say to you.”
I swallowed hard. These guys knew everything about my life.
“And that’s bullshit,” he added.
I cocked my head to the side. “You don’t think I’d make a good trophy wife?”
Zac ran a hand over his face. “Maddie, you’re beautiful. You know this. But anyone with a brain knows you’d never be a trophy wife. You’re so much more than beautiful. In addition to it. Whatever. You know what I’m saying.”
“You told him?” I asked Porter.
He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal. “You wouldn’t let me say anything there. It was a dick thing to say.”
I sighed, readying myself to say that thing I’ve said to myself many times. “He might’ve just been joking but it’s like it triggered something in me.”
Zac leaned into me, lowering himself to my eye level. “It’s not funny and if you’re spooked, then we all are.”
“I don’t know about all of us.”
“Maddie,” Zac began quietly. “If Tegan said that in front of those two, what’s he doing in private?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. Zac raised an eyebrow. “No really. That’s the first thing he’s really said that’s given me pause. But Ian’s made me suspicious all the time and I don’t trust my judgment anymore. Ian broke me, guys. I should’ve broken up with him a long time ago.”
“I should’ve knocked his teeth down his throat a long time ago.”
Porter tsked. “Missed opportunity, bro.”
Zac slid a cocky grin over his face. “Next time.”
I shook my head. These guys… they were my best friends and had seen me through it all. Porter had even been the first person besides Zac and me to see Dylan. He’d been at the hospital waiting for the little guy to be born. Keeping us company until the contractions had become too much for me to handle while still chatting it up. He went to the waiting room and sat there for hours and hours, refusing to go home. He said Zac and I were his family. He wasn’t going anywhere. My parents wanted to be there but I’d asked them to wait at home if they didn’t mind. I’d hated the idea of them waiting out there when I knew my mom would’ve wanted to be inside with me. I didn’t want her there. This was the one moment I knew I couldn’t be a child any longer and the idea of watching her watch that killed me.
“You guys are idiots.”
“No,” Zac countered. “You’re our friend and we’re protective. If that asshole can’t see what a catch you are, then it’s his loss. You’re a fantastic mother, the best friend anyone could have, beautiful, smart—I can keep going.”
I held a hand up to stop him. “Please don’t. Tegan’s not an asshole. Not really. Ian was an asshole. But I think I’m just not ready to be with someone yet. Maybe it’s not the right time for Dylan and me.”
“I’m still going to say he’s an asshole.”
I shook my head because I honestly didn’t want to argue it out with them. “And as far as being the best friend… I guarantee not everyone would agree.” That was for Zac. It’d taken me a long time to get close to Laney again. She’d been so hurt that Zac and I had slept together. I understood, but she didn’t understand the situation and still didn’t. Not really. But she’d come around, found the love of her life in Zac, and let me back in as well. Most importantly, she loved our kid.
“Laney loves you.”
I let out a nice long sigh. “I know. Can I just go home now?”
“No.” He shook his head. “You’re going in there and hanging out with your friends. Porter and I will stay if you want us to, but Laney made it clear it was a girls’ night. Up to you.”
“You’re going to fight Laney on having girls’ night?”
Zac winced at the idea of fighting Laney on anything. “If you want us to.”
I shook my head. No way was I starting an argument between the two of them over this. “No. It’s fine, but I’ll leave the minute they let me.”
“That’s your fi
ght.” He flung an arm over my shoulders. “Let’s go.”
Porter did the same and it was awkward as hell, the three of us trying to make it through the front door, but we did it. Laney and Rhian appeared from the kitchen as soon as the door shut behind us.
“We’re going to go meet Brad and Andy,” Zac told the girls.
Finally, they both released me and went to kiss their respective girlfriend goodbye. Each gave my arm a squeeze in support when they passed back by me.
“That doesn’t bother you?” Rhian asked Laney. The sharpness of her tone made me uncomfortable. Obviously, she had an opinion about what had happened between Tegan and me. Of course, I didn’t know if she’d gotten his side of the story without having heard mine. Nor did I think that would’ve mattered.
“What?” Laney asked.
“Your boyfriend had his arm around her.”
Laney looked confused. “So did yours. They’re friends.”
“My boyfriend hasn’t fucked her.”
Now anger formed like a pit in my throat. Rhian was being a bitch to me because her brother was hurt. I got that but there was a line she shouldn’t have crossed. “That you know of.” I raised one eyebrow and held steady. Probably shouldn’t have said it, but Rhian was taking Tegan’s feelings on as her own and lashing out at me.
Rhian’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. She hadn’t expected me to respond but fuck her if she thought that.
Laney sighed, but her jaw was tight in anger. “Rhian, maybe you should head home.”
“What?” she snapped.
“Just until you cool down. I invited Maddie over to hang out, so I’m not going to ask her to leave.”
I didn’t know what passed between the two of them, but Rhian’s anger seemed to grow then. Without saying a word, she stomped out of the house and let the screen door slam behind her.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I told my best friend.
“I know. But I wanted to hang out with you and talk tonight. I don’t know what her attitude is about.” She began to walk toward the kitchen, so I followed.
“I do. She’s upset that her brother is upset.”
Laney handed me a beer and took one for herself then led me back out to the living room. We both dropped onto the couch and took our first sips. It reminded me of when I’d come over last summer to start fixing things with her. She hadn’t wanted to let me in but I’d insisted. Now she’d asked Rhian to leave so we could talk. How things changed in just a year.
Hard to Say Yes (The Fallout Series Book 3) Page 15
