Dropping Like Pies (Apple Orchard Cozy Mystery Book 11)

by Chelsea Thomas

  “What is it?” I asked.

  Miss May pointed down at the large object. It was a dead body. And it looked just like Coach Thornton.

  37

  You Only Die Twice

  Flanagan barked orders in every direction as police swarmed the gym. “You: do a full sweep of the locker rooms. Look for anything out of the ordinary. You: I want you on your hands and knees under the bleachers. Do a sweep down there. You: photograph everything and get your files sent to all of our devices quick as possible.”

  Flanagan had instructed me, Teeny, and Miss May to sit against the wall and be quiet about an hour prior. Since that time, she hadn’t so much as looked in our direction. Wayne and Deputy Hercules had snuck past us with the occasional furtive glance but that was all the contact we’d had with the cops since they arrived.

  “This is ridiculous!” said Teeny. “We’re being held like prisoners!”

  “I know,” said Miss May. “Under normal circumstances I would demand to know if we’re being held under arrest. But it has been eye-opening to watch Flanagan and the Pine Grove Police Department hard at work on this investigation.”

  “Hard at work?” said Teeny. “They’re running around like a bunch of two-headed chickens.”

  “Chickens with their heads cut off,” I said under my breath.

  “Same difference,” said Teeny. “Flanagan has told that poor kid to search under the bleachers more times than I can count. What does she think they’re going to find under there?”

  Miss May shrugged. “Not sure. It’s not like Pine Grove has a high tech, forensic police department. She seems to think she’s going to be able to rely on gadgetry and technology to solve this case. But she’s missing the human element. She needs to start observing more carefully the things that are visible to the naked eye in order to solve this case. Or she needs to make connections that aren’t apparent at the surface level.”

  I looked over at Miss May with my eyebrows raised. “Are you seeing connections here? Do you have a theory?”

  Miss May shook her head. “I don’t. Not yet. But if I were Flanagan I would be handling things differently, that’s all I’m saying.”

  “I can’t figure any sense of this,” I said. “First, Coach Thornton shows up dead and buried in pieces on our orchard. Now he shows up dead in a closet in the high school gym. And all in one piece, no less.”

  “There’s only one way what you just described is possible,” said Miss May.

  Teeny perked up. “Coach Thornton had a clone. Or an evil twin. He killed the evil twin. Then he felt bad, so he killed himself. Oh yeah, I know how this one goes. Sad story but all too familiar on my shows. I thank my lucky stars every day that I don’t have an evil twin. That’s got to be a hard life.”

  “I’m not thinking that there’s an evil twin,” said Miss May. “I’m thinking that one of these bodies is not, in fact, Coach Thornton.”

  “The guy in the closet was definitely Thornton.” I shivered. “I’d know that face anywhere. And the body parts that were found on the farm only seemed like Thornton because of the rings and the tattoo. So that has to be the body that was mis-identified.”

  “But Thornton’s sister is the one who ID’d the body on the orchard as Ron.”

  Miss May shrugged. “Sissy didn’t have much information to go on either. All she knew was that the body parts that showed up looked like they belonged to her brother. And her brother had gone missing. And that hand on the orchard had Thornton’s tattoo and rings. I would have assumed the hand belonged to Ron as well.”

  “Not me,” Teeny said. “I would recognize my brother’s hand anywhere.”

  “Even after it had been buried on a farm for who knows how long?” said Miss May.

  “Yup. That’s my brother. Of course I would know his hand.”

  “Do you even have a brother?” I asked.

  “No,” said Teeny. “But you get the point.

  “So what does all this mean?” I asked. “Who was buried on the farm if not Coach Thornton?”

  Miss May shrugged. “Hard to say. But the fact that the hand was wearing Thornton’s rings makes it clear… These murders were connected and the killer was trying to misdirect us.”

  “So do we still have the same list of suspects?” I asked. “Sorry I have so many questions and not a lot of answers. I’m just so… confused.”

  “I think we’re all confused,” said Miss May. “This almost feels like a step backwards. The only fact we knew for sure was the identity of the body on the farm. Now we don’t have that anymore.”

  “I wish somehow this discovery of Thornton’s body at the high school would help set Brian free,” I said. “But it seems to me this update in the case might be bad for him.”

  Miss May nodded. “Things just got urgent for the Pine Grove Police Department. They’re going to be trying to pin this second murder on Brian in order to make the department look good.”

  “Stupid Flanagan with her beautiful, soft hair and gorgeous features,” Teeny said. “Why does she have to be such a bad chief? Why can’t she be more interested in honesty?”

  “Politics, probably,” said Miss May. “But she’s going to at least have to pretend to investigate this new murder if she’s going to want to pin it on Brian. I suspect her first step after leaving this gymnasium is going to be an attempt to determine the identity of the body that was found on our orchard.”

  I hung my head. “Do you think this means they’re bringing the excavators back?”

  Miss May shook her head. “The ground is frozen solid. Excavators won’t be able to break through the crust until everything thaws out. If we’re lucky the weather will stay cold for months which will buy us some time.”

  “How do you know all that about excavators and frozen ground?” asked Teeny. “Very impressive.”

  Miss May chuckled. “I watched a lot of those TV shows about men in Alaska mining for gold. The frozen ground always stops the gold rush.”

  “Useful info,” Teeny said. “Are we sure Coach Thornton didn’t have an evil twin?”

  “Pretty sure,” said Miss May. “Although I have a feeling that first body might have been connected to the Thornton family.”

  “Why do you think that?” I asked.

  “Wimple said there are tons of Thorntons in the area,” Miss May said. “If the rest of the family is anything like Ron and Sissy, that means they’re a violent crew. I wouldn’t be surprised if bad blood within the family has something to do with one or both of these murders.”

  “So then what do we do next?” asked Teeny. “Throw a fake Thornton family reunion and see who shows up with a hatchet, covered in blood?”

  “Why don’t we start by talking to Sissy?” Miss May said. “She wants this solved just as much as we do. And I suspect if we’re delicate she might spill some family secrets.”

  “That woman is icy cold,” said Teeny.

  “I agree,” said Miss May. “But she must be easier to thaw than ten feet of frozen ground.”

  38

  A Thornton in Our Side

  We left the high school gym and headed straight for Coach Thornton’s house. We had almost gotten trapped there on our prior visit, when Sissy had taken a nap with us hiding under the bed, so we presumed she would be staying at the house still.

  It was amazing how clear all the roads had gotten since that morning. The asphalt was dark black with water stains from where the snow had melted. And big snow embankments had been created by the plow at the edges of the roads. But otherwise there was little evidence of the prior night’s blizzard.

  “This snow melted fast,” I said. “I hope that doesn’t mean the ground at the orchard is thawing enough to be excavated.”

  “I had the same thought,” said Teeny. “I also thought: I’m hungry. Have we had lunch? Doesn’t matter. I need a snack.”

  “I could go for a snack,” Miss May said. “What are the two of you in the mood for?”

  “Ice cream, please,” sa
id Teeny. “With lots of—”

  “Sprinkles,” said Miss May. “I know. But are you sure you want ice cream? It’s been so cold and snowy.”

  “It’s not that cold anymore and the snow got me in the mood for ice cream. Leave me alone. Besides, Emily has been making big, warm cookies in her little oven at the ice cream shop. So you two can each get a cookie if you want.”

  Miss May grinned. “I could go for a cookie.”

  “Me too,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  Miss May and I each ordered a giant, warm chocolate chip cookie from Emily, the proprietor of Cherry on Top. Teeny got a double scoop of chocolate ice cream with hot fudge, whipped cream and extra sprinkles. We chatted with Emily for a minute. Then Miss May said we had important business to attend to and we hurried back out to the parking lot.

  We didn’t get far before I saw the cutest site I have ever seen in my entire life. Six golden retriever puppies playing in the snow. Every other thought left my head as I rushed up to the little dogs with that intense feeling in my chest that only painful cuteness could elicit. “Whoa! Puppies. Puppies in the snow. They are so cute!”

  I got closer and I saw that the puppies were playing in a little pen that had been set up in the snow. I also noticed that there was a dog grooming van parked adjacent to the adorable pups.

  It was the same mobile grooming van that had just visited the orchard a few days prior. The owner, a perky and smart girl named Amy, had done a great job with Steve the dog and Kitty. I looked over both my shoulders to see if Amy was nearby. Sure enough, she was a few feet from the puppies, snapping photos. Amy smiled when she saw me.

  “Chelsea! Wow, it’s so good to see you! I was just thinking about Kitty and Steve the dog. Such awesome pets. How are they?”

  “They’re great. So good. Yeah. But uh, what’s up with your little friends here?” I squatted down and held up my hand with the puppies. The littlest one came and licked my knuckles. “Are you grooming all these tiny little dogs?”

  Amy shook her head. “I have a policy where I refuse to groom dogs that are this young. I just don’t think it’s cool. I’m actually trying to help find these puppies a new home. A friend of mine has a dog who had this litter and I figured I could help out. I have a decent following online in the area. You wouldn’t know it based on my lack of customers. But if I post about these dogs, I bet someone will see it and adopt them!”

  Miss May and Teeny approached, enjoying their treats.

  “These puppies are so cute,” said Miss May. “I bet they could melt this snow just like they melted my heart!”

  “I bet they could!” Amy laughed. “How are you ladies doing today anyway?”

  “Better now that we have our snacks,” said Teeny. “I’m Teeny by the way.”

  Amy gave Teeny a big smile and introduced herself and her business. The three of them jumped into a friendly conversation as I played with the puppies. Then Amy leaned forward with a conspiratorial glimmer in her eyes. “So I’m actually wondering… What’s going on with the case of the murdered basketball coach? I heard sirens earlier today. Then I saw a bunch of police cars speed off in the direction of the high school. I overheard a bunch of kids talking about another possible victim who was found at the school. Is everything OK?”

  Miss May nodded. “You’re very observant.”

  “You need keen powers of observation if you’re going to work in hair care or pet care. Every detail matters.”

  “I suppose it does,” said Miss May. “Your powers of observation are spot on. There is another murder. At the high school.”

  Amy shook her head. “Such a shame when there’s violence in a beautiful small town like this. Hey, I’ll keep my ear to the ground for you, OK? If I hear anything that sounds like it might be a clue, I’ll let you know.”

  “You do that,” said Miss May. “And take care of these puppies, OK?”

  Amy smiled. “I will!”

  --

  We arrived at Coach Thornton’s house a few minutes after parting ways with Amy. Miss May parked across the street and killed the ignition, biting her lip. “No car in the driveway. Mail sticking out of the mailbox. Sissy’s not in there. And it doesn’t look like she’s been around all day.”

  “Maybe the cops called her into the high school after we left,” I said. “It must be strange having to identify the body of your dead brother twice. I feel bad for Wayne. I think he was the one who had to tell her.”

  “She’s a hard woman,” said Miss May. “She can take it.”

  “Remember when she said that Ron was too tough to be murdered?” said Teeny. “That was the type of familial pride Wimple told us about. Who thinks they’re too tough to be murdered? Anyone can be murdered at any time. No one is invincible.”

  Miss May shrugged. “I suppose Sissy might disagree with you on that point.”

  “Well, considering the fact that she’s not home… Do you think I could pop inside real quick and use the bathroom?” Teeny held her palms together in a pleading gesture. “I really have to go.”

  “Teeny. Hold it.” Miss May shook her head.

  “I can’t. All that ice cream is going right through me. It’s making me have to pee.”

  “Ice cream doesn’t make people have to pee,” I said. “That’s nuts.”

  “Speak for yourself,” said Teeny. “In the end, ice cream is basically liquid. And liquid becomes pee. That’s science, sister. Besides, maybe we can take advantage of the empty house to snoop around for new clues. Don’t forget about that. No one’s home. This is our chance.”

  “You must really have to go,” said Miss May.

  “I do,” said Teeny. “And before anyone says it: please don’t tell me to go in the woods. I’m not an animal, I’m a lady.”

  “I don’t think either of us would suggest that you relieve yourself in the woods,” I said. “Especially because we’re not in the woods right now.”

  “Oh,” said Teeny. “Good. Because I won’t.”

  Miss May retrieved the hide-a-key from Thornton’s obvious rock. She held it to her chest and thought for a second. Then she snapped into action. “Alright. We’ll look for clues while you’re in the bathroom. But let’s make it fast, OK? Sissy might be back at any second.”

  Teeny grinned. “I’ll go quick.”

  We entered through the back door and Teeny hurried to the bathroom while Miss May and I poked around the living room, hunting for information.

  The place was a mess.

  Papers were strewn everywhere. A table and chair had been flipped upside down. One of Coach Thornton’s awards hung crooked on the wall.

  “It looks like someone ransacked this place.” I reached out to touch the crooked frame but Miss May stopped me.

  “Don’t touch anything. Look around. See what you can find.”

  I spun around to get a better look at my room. And that’s when I came face-to-face with Sissy Thornton.

  39

  A Flick of the Wrist

  Being caught trespassing in Thornton’s house made my heart skip a hundred beats. I felt like I was a kid again and my mom had just caught me sneaking extra Halloween candy before bed. I knew I was wrong and there was nothing I could say to make things right.

  Fortunately, Sissy didn’t seem to have much interest in what any of us might have had to say. She was more than willing to do most of the talking herself. Sissy’s nostrils flared as she yelled at us for invading her privacy. Her fists clenched as she went on and on about how insensitive we were and how rude it was to break into the home of a dead man. She rattled the frame of the house as she charged to the front door, threw it open, and demanded that we leave. Miss May reminded Sissy that we were only there to find justice for her brother. But Sissy talked too fast and too furious for any of us to get a meaningful word in.

  Still, our visit to Thornton’s house wasn’t a total loss. Sissy confirmed that the new body belonged to her brother, Ron Thornton. She also yelled in confusion about the first body.
And she went so far as to accuse us of burying the hand with the rings in order to gain further acclaim as amateur sleuths.

  It didn’t feel great to be the subject of Sissy’s suspicion and ire. But it was good to know that she was just as perplexed by the first body.

  Another lucky break? Sissy refused to call the police because “the Thorntons hate cops!” That saved us from humiliation with Wayne and Flanagan and probably kept the three of us out of jail for the night.

  Still, Sissy warned that if we continued to interfere in her life, she would call every Thornton in the tri-state area and get them to ruin the reputation of our orchard. She assured us that there were a lot of Thorntons. And she seemed confident they could wreak havoc in any number of ways.

  Sissy waved her arms wildly above her head as she yelled at us. Then she rolled up her sleeves and started shoving us out the door. I spotted a small tattoo on Sissy’s wrist as she shoved me. The tat was just like Ron’s, but I barely registered it as I spilled out the back door and into the yard. Seconds later, Miss May and Teeny were beside me. And Sissy was after us with a broom, screaming expletives and chasing us toward our van.

  Miss May, Teeny and I hurried to the van in a panic and jumped inside. Then Miss May slammed the keys in the ignition, started the car and drove away fast.

  “That was crazy,” said Teeny. “Sorry, ladies. I should have held my bladder.”

  “It’s fine,” said Miss May. “We got lucky that Sissy didn’t call the cops. And she verified that her brother was the dead man in the closet. That’s valuable information. Even though she was wrong about body number one, I don’t think she’d make the same mistake twice.”

  “Especially because this time the head was attached to the body,” said Teeny. “Sorry to be gross.”

  “You’re right though,” said Miss may. “That’s an important detail.”