Dropping Like Pies (Apple Orchard Cozy Mystery Book 11)

by Chelsea Thomas

  Wayne led a team of police officers into the Sports Museum like a rugged cowboy riding out onto the last frontier. He stood tall and proud as he pulled Sissy to her feet and replaced my makeshift ribbon handcuffs with his official steel ones. After Sissy was cuffed and read her rights, Wayne asked Deputy Hercules to take Sissy away. Then, he instructed the other officers to sweep the building to make sure everything was safe and to assess the damage. Finally, he turned to me.

  “Chelsea. Are you OK? Looks like things got a little rough in here. And quite athletic.”

  “I’m great.” I brushed some debris off my sleeves. “Overcame some high school demons. Caught another bad guy. Solved another murder. I’d call that a home run.”

  “Two murders,” said Wayne. “Don’t forget. And, uh, you look like you barely broke a sweat. Did you do something different with your hair?”

  I lifted my hand to my hair. Had I changed it? No. Did the little compliment make me blush? You know it did. “This is my normal hair. Average. Probably a little dirty. I should shower. Even though I don’t look sweaty, looks can be deceiving.”

  “You shoulda seen Chelsea with that baseball bat,” said Teeny, piping up from a few feet away. “Yeah, she got sweaty, but it was a sexy level of sweat. She was swinging at softballs. Twirling those ribbon things. Very impressive.”

  “Right,” said Wayne. “That explains the extent of the damage in this building.”

  “Sorry about that,” I said. “I’ll admit, I broke some stuff. But the place was already in shambles when we arrived. Sissy had turned the museum upside down in her hunt for Ron’s stolen cash.”

  “I still don’t get that. Why would Coach Thornton hide his cash in this museum? So weird.”

  “I don’t think it’s weird at all,” said Miss May. “Most of the town has no knowledge that this museum exists. And it seems the only security at the museum, up to this point, was Humphrey. You know Humphrey, right? Four foot ten, two hundred pounds, about ninety years old? Sleepy guy?”

  Wayne chuckled. “I get your point. Humphrey is not the ideal candidate for a security detail. And this is probably the last place anyone would look. That is, anyone other than the three of you expert detectives.”

  “Thank you for admitting that we’re experts,” said Miss May. “Maybe next time you can act like it, too.”

  “It’s tough.” Wayne looked over his shoulder to make sure Flanagan wasn’t nearby. “Chief likes to handle things herself. You know that. I try to help you three out when I can. But I can’t always be so obvious about it. There’s just some information that I’m not ever going to be at liberty to share. I think it’s fine for us to all accept those aspects of our relationship dynamic.”

  “Sure, fine, whatever. But it would be better for us if the police department wasn’t always getting in our way or trying to stop us,” I said.

  “I didn’t stop you from doing anything.” Wayne crossed his arms “And I’m still the man you call when the situation gets extra hairy.”

  Flanagan charged around the corner. Her boots clacked on the linoleum. As per usual, her long, luscious hair floated behind her like she was facing an invisible fan. The florescent light was somehow flattering to her soft features. And her uniform was tight in all the right places. “Wayne. Stop idling and put yourself in drive. We need to get back to the station and process all this.”

  “You got it, Chief.” Wayne looked over at me and winked. Then he looked back at Flanagan. “You’re the boss.”

  With that, Wayne and Flanagan hurried away. And I was left in the destroyed hallway with Teeny and Miss May. Miss May approached and clapped me on the back. “When are you ever going to give that guy a chance?”

  I shrugged. “Probably soon.”

  53

  Dance Party

  The next night, Brian from the Brown Cow hosted a big party at the coffee shop to celebrate the conclusion of another mystery in Pine Grove…and his release from jail.

  When Miss May, Teeny, and I arrived, a room full of people applauded, hooted, and hollered. We all laughed as the cheering rose to a cacophonous level. Then Miss May held up her hand to silence the crowd. “Thank you, everybody. We’re happy another case has been solved and we couldn’t be more pleased to be here with Brian the Innocent and his husband, Mr. Brian the Also Innocent. So glad you made it out of prison, Brian. This town needs you. And we need your coffee. Bad.”

  The crowd laughed.

  “Alright, everyone. Hopefully there won’t be another murder in Pine Grove…ever. We’ve had four victims in the past couple weeks. Can you believe we were celebrating the end of the last case just this prior Monday? Unbelievable. Stay safe, stay vigilant,” Miss May said. “And have fun.”

  As soon as Miss May finished talking, Tom Gigley and his band The Giggles launched into a strange cover of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. A young couple began dancing in the center of the crowd. And within a few seconds, several other couples joined in the fun.

  Wentworth the snowplow driver approached with his hand outstretched toward Miss May. “May I have this dance?”

  “Bohemian Rhapsody isn’t my idea of a dancing song,” said Miss May. I nudged my aunt in the side. She glared at me out of the corner of her eye, then took Wentworth’s hand. “But sure. Why not?”

  Miss May and Wentworth headed out toward the group of dancing people, moving in time with the music. Big Dan walked by and Teeny grabbed him by the arm. “Did you see that? Wentworth the snowplow guy just asked Miss May to dance. It was very romantic. Do you think maybe you should ask me to dance?”

  Big Dan lowered the crumb bun he was about to bite. “Bohemian Rhapsody isn’t a real good dancing song.”

  “Wrong answer,” said Teeny. “Try again.”

  “OK. Hey, Teeny. Would you like to dance to Bohemian Rhapsody for some reason?”

  “I’d love to.” Teeny grabbed Big Dan’s arm and dragged him onto the dance floor. She danced up a storm while Big Dan pretty much stood there eating his crumb bun. But they both looked happy.

  Suddenly, the sound of a growling engine pulled my focus outside. The Giggles stopped playing and everyone crowded around the windows as a candy apple red muscle car pulled up in front of the Brown Cow. The engine roared like a thousand hungry lions. Then the door opened and Humphrey stepped onto the sidewalk. He was wearing a sharp new suit and a shiny watch that matched his sports car persona. Although it all looked a little strange on him.

  Humphrey hobbled into the Brown Cow with a big smile on his face. Everyone just stood there, watching him, in awe.

  “What’s everyone looking at?” said Humphrey.

  “You,” said Teeny. “Your clothes don’t have any stains on them. And they fit. And you drove up in a brand-new car. What’s up?”

  Humphrey shrugged. “I came into some money.” He looked around at the slack-jawed crowd. “Why is everyone still staring? Let’s party!”

  Happy to obey Humphrey’s command, The Giggles launched back into Bohemian Rhapsody and the revelers resumed dancing. As I watched the happy people, I felt a pang of regret. I wasn’t sure if I missed Germany Turtle or if I just missed having someone with whom to dance. Someone to celebrate with. Just…someone.

  “Hey.” Wayne approached from near the coffee bar. “I got you a hot chocolate, if you want it.”

  I smiled. Wayne was definitely…someone. “I’d love a hot chocolate, thanks.”

  Wayne reached out to give me the hot chocolate but he pulled it back at the last second. “Actually, I want something in return.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What?”

  “How about a date? Nothing fancy. Maybe pizza and a movie? I know you must be exhausted from this investigation. And Germany hasn’t been gone long. But whenever you’re ready.”

  I studied Wayne’s face. His lips were curled up in a cute little smile. His blue-green eyes twinkled. He fidgeted with a button on his shirt. We had been dancing around this topic forever, literally and figuratively. But there
had always been a reason for me to say no.

  Until now.

  The End

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for going on this wild adventure with Chelsea, Teeny and Miss May. This was a fun book to write and I hope you liked it!

  The next mystery in this series - No Cone Unturned - finds our amateur sleuths on their most suspenseful journey yet.

  (Read to find out why No Cone Unturned is my mom’s favorite book in the whole series!)

  You’ll love this cozy because everyone loves exciting mysteries with fun small-town characters.

  Click here to grab No Cone Unturned.

  Thanks,

  Chelsea