Critical Doubt

by Barbara Freethy

  Chapter Eleven

  Savannah heard the pain in Ryker's voice. She wanted to tell him he was wrong, that Todd didn't mean it that way, but she couldn't.

  "Ma'am, Agent Kane," the locker room attendant said with an awkward expression on his face. "Some guys want to come in here."

  "Sure," she said. "Let's take this with us, Ryker."

  He nodded, his jaw so tight she didn't think he could get a word out if he tried. He kept a death grip on the envelope as they walked out of the locker room and took the elevator down to the garage. He didn't speak, but his body was as stiff as a poker, and his breath was coming short and fast. There was a wild light entering his eyes. She could see the panic and knew he was coming under attack from his own brain. She didn't know if he was hearing the echo of his own terrible words, or if the bells were back, but she wanted to get him into the car.

  "Give me the keys," she ordered.

  He gave her a blank look.

  "Keys," she repeated firmly, holding out her hand.

  He reached into his pocket and handed her the keys, another sign that all was not well.

  Then he walked around the car and got into the passenger seat as she slid behind the wheel. He put the envelope on the console between them and folded his arms in front of his chest as he closed his eyes.

  Glancing over at him, he seemed so lonely, so isolated. She could feel a scream rolling around inside him, but he was trying desperately to hold it together. His face was like a statue, nothing moving except the pulse in his neck. He was holding off an army of attackers all by himself, and it hurt her heart to watch his struggle.

  Impulsively, she put her hand on his.

  He jerked away, but he didn't open his eyes, and he didn't say anything.

  She tried again, wrapping her fingers around his, and holding on. She wanted her warmth to seep through the icy cold of his skin. She wanted him to feel support, to know he wasn't alone in the fight. And this time he didn't push her hand away. A long minute passed. She barely breathed, not wanting to make a sound that would disturb him.

  Her gaze moved to the envelope on the console. Todd's mother's address was on the front. She hadn't realized that. Maybe Todd hadn't meant to leave the envelope in his locker. He could have been intending to mail the medals to her. In which case, the note might not have been a suicide note at all. It could have just been something he wanted to send to his mother.

  She wanted to tell Ryker, but his breath was still coming hard and fast. He was fighting his demons, and she had to give him a chance to win that battle.

  Her gaze left the envelope, moving back toward the windshield, and then her heart skipped another beat. There was a piece of paper tucked under the wiper blade, and it didn't look like a sales flyer.

  She wanted to jump out of the car and get it, but she couldn't let go of Ryker. She was on this ride with him, even if she was just a silent partner. His fingers tightened around hers, as if he sensed she was distracted, and she turned her attention back to him.

  Another minute and he shifted in his seat. A breath swooshed through his now parted lips. He opened his eyes, turned his head, and stared at her with the remnants of incredible pain and raw anger in his brown gaze. She didn't look away. The anger wasn't for her. It was for himself. He hated being a prisoner to his brain, being unable to control the attacks or to vanquish them.

  His gaze traveled to her hand still wrapped in his, still tucked against his chest, which seemed to be warming by the minute. In fact, the air in the entire car was heating up. What had started out as comfort was quickly turning into something else, the irresistible pull of desire, attraction, connection. She'd felt it the first second she'd seen him in the bar five years ago, and she was almost overwhelmed by how strong it was now.

  But Ryker was fighting the connection. After another hard breath, he let go of her hand.

  A chill ran through her. She could almost see his walls going back up. She might have gotten in for a second, but she was out now, all the way out. And this time, she was the one to let out a breath of disappointment. Even though she knew that this wasn't the time or the place for anything more.

  As she put her hands back on the wheel, her gaze moved once again to the paper underneath the wiper.

  She opened the car door and got out to grab it.

  Ryker's gaze narrowed in surprise. "What's that?"

  She unfolded the piece of paper. "It's an address—Brittain Park Fountain, six o'clock." She met his gaze. "We have a meet. We just don't know with whom."

  "Someone here at Carmack," he muttered. "Let's go."

  She hesitated before starting the engine. "Are you sure you don't need another minute?"

  "I'm fine."

  "All evidence to the contrary."

  "The bells are receding," he said.

  "Good."

  He let out another sigh. "I don't want to talk about it, Savannah."

  "I get it, but just tell me, is there anything else you need right now?"

  "No. Let's go to the park." He glanced at his watch. "It's five thirty. How far away is it?"

  "About fifteen minutes," she said, setting her GPS. "But before we go, take another look at the envelope we found in Todd's locker."

  "I don't know if I want to look at it. It didn't go well the first time. It triggered the bells."

  "Then I'll just tell you what I noticed. The envelope is addressed to Todd's mother at the facility in Florida. I don't think he left it in his locker as a suicide note. I think he was sending her his medals, but he didn't get a chance to do that."

  "Based on the address?"

  "Yes. And because if he'd wanted to leave a note telling people what he'd done, he would have left it at his house, not here."

  "Why would he send her his medals now?"

  "Maybe he thought they would trigger a memory for her. His dad was in the army, right? Perhaps that was part of it."

  "His dad never got a medal," Ryker murmured, a new light in his eyes as he looked at her. "Todd was very angry about that. There were two instances where he felt his father had deserved to be honored, but for one reason or another, he didn't receive a medal."

  "That makes me even more positive that the medals going to his mother are separate from whatever else is going on. How did he get these medals?"

  "The Medal of Valor was from the ambush. The Purple Heart was awarded a few years back. He was shot in the leg, but he was able to recover and return to service."

  "How many medals do you have?"

  "A few. They don't mean anything to me. I never did the job for a piece of hardware, that's for sure."

  She believed that. Ryker wasn't about awards or recognition. His drive came from within, and she hoped that same drive would help him get better.

  As she maneuvered through traffic, she felt on edge. It was Tuesday night, and the commute was in full swing. She winced every time there was a horn or a loud muffler or even a car blasting music, hoping none of those sounds would trigger another episode for Ryker. But his body tension eased with each passing minute, and he seemed to be back to normal.

  "You don't have to worry about me, Savannah," he said, breaking the silence. "The attacks rarely come back-to-back. I'm probably good for at least another hour."

  There was a lighter note in his voice that she was more than happy to hear. "I'm not worrying; I'm just concerned. Can I ask you what happens when the bells ring, when you close your eyes? Does tuning out the world help?"

  "It's a trade-off. When I close my eyes, the sounds get softer, but the lights get brighter. All different colors shoot out at me like someone is hitting me with a laser. The lights are so blinding it's painful, but when I open my eyes, the bells get louder, so I have to choose between the sounds or the lights. Usually the lights go away faster than the sounds."

  "It's like your brain short-circuits."

  "That's the way it feels."

  "You felt it come on when you saw what you thought was a suicide note. Was that t
he trigger?"

  "I don't know, probably. I could feel my stress level rising when we walked into the locker room." He shook his head, an angry gleam in his eyes. "It drives me crazy, Savannah. This is not the man I used to be. Before the ambush, I could always control my stress. I could lower my breathing to barely a whisper. I could drop my blood pressure to the lowest numbers imaginable. I could beat a lie detector test with the force of my mind, but now my brain has gone haywire. It has become my enemy. And it's an enemy I don't know how to beat."

  She didn't know what to say. She felt his pain down deep in her soul. That's how attuned they were. And it was that feeling of connection that scared her more than his words. She forced her gaze back to the traffic, trying to distract herself.

  For a few moments, there was silence, and then Ryker said, "What do you think this meeting is about?"

  She was relieved with the change of subject. "Someone wants to talk about Todd out of earshot of Carmack Securities."

  "Which probably isn't Colton Carmack."

  "Definitely not. He said what he had to say."

  "Which wasn't much."

  "No, but what he said made sense. Todd did work part-time and has only been with the company a few months. It's certainly believable that Mr. Carmack didn't know him personally."

  "I would agree. He didn't appear to have anything to hide."

  "I have a hunch it's the blonde woman who came into the office and asked Colton's assistant if there was news."

  "That would be my guess," he agreed. "But who was she to Todd? A coworker? A friend? A romantic interest?"

  "We'll find out soon enough."

  A few minutes later, she parked next to Brittain Park. They got out of the car and walked past a children's playground and a rose garden to a beautiful, flowing fountain surrounded by a circle of stone benches. On one of those benches was the blonde woman they'd seen earlier.

  She stood up as they approached, looking more than a little nervous. "Thanks for coming. I—I couldn't talk at the office."

  "What's your name?" she asked.

  "Jackie Simmonds. And you're an FBI agent, right?"

  "Yes, I'm Savannah Kane. This is Ryker Stone."

  "I recognize you from one of Todd's photos," Jackie said, her gaze moving to Ryker. "You were his team leader, right?"

  "I was," Ryker answered. "I assume you've heard that Todd is missing."

  "It's all over the office, how he crashed into the river, and now he's missing. Is there any chance he survived?"

  "We don't know," she answered, seeing the fear in Jackie's eyes. "What's your relationship to Todd?"

  "I handle the assignments for the security team members. Todd and I have become friends over the past few months. Actually, a little more than friends," she admitted. "But we haven't been able to see each other that much, because he lives in Dobbs when he's not on assignment." Jackie drew in a shaky breath. "I'm so worried. Do you think he's dead? God, I can't believe I'm saying that out loud."

  "We don't know," she said gently, sensing that Jackie's concern was very real. "But until he's found, there's always hope."

  "I want to believe that. You don't think he killed himself, do you? I heard it might have been suicide."

  She frowned, thinking how that suggestion from Tanner was taking on a life of its own. "That's just a rumor. Why did you want to speak to us?"

  "I think Todd might have been in some trouble," she said, worry in her eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't be saying anything, but I feel like I should tell someone."

  "You definitely should tell us why you think that. We're trying to help Todd."

  "Todd and I spent the night together about two weeks ago. He was texting a lot. I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was back on his phone. He said it was about an assignment, but I knew what his assignments were, and he didn't have one. I tried to press him for more information, and he said that it would be better for me if I didn't know."

  "Know what?"

  "That's the thing—he didn't say. I thought it might have to do with Todd's mom, because he was worried about her. He needed to move her to another facility, but it was very expensive. I told him I was sure Colton and Trent would give him more hours, but he said that wouldn't work because Paul was having a hard time and needed him to be in Dobbs. But Todd had a guy—Vic—who had an inside track on some betting thing. I told him to be careful, he could lose more than he could win and then he'd be worse off. But he just laughed it off." She paused. "Anyway, the next morning, when he was in the shower, he got another text, and I read it."

  "What did it say?" Ryker asked.

  "It said the timetable had been moved up, and he needed to make a decision. It was time for him to ghost." She paused. "I couldn't ask Todd what it meant, because then I'd have to admit I was snooping. I didn't understand the reference to a timetable, but I was pretty sure the text was suggesting that Todd disappear on me, like so many of my dates like to do," she added bitterly.

  "Was there a name on the text?" Savannah asked.

  "No, and I didn't recognize the number. It wasn't anyone Todd worked with at our company, nor was it one of his Atlanta or Florida friends. The area code was DC. I looked it up. As you can tell, I'm a little nosy."

  She was actually happy that Jackie had been curious. "What happened after that?"

  "Things changed over the next week. Todd was distant to me at work and wouldn't text me back. I finally got him on the phone last Tuesday when he was back in Dobbs. I confronted him about our relationship. I asked him if he was ghosting me. He said that I needed to move on with my life, that he wasn't good for me or anybody. And he told me not to tell anyone that we'd been together. He said it might be dangerous. I asked him to explain, but he wouldn't. I could hear fear in his voice, but he wouldn't say what he was afraid of. That was the last time we spoke. When I heard about Paul's death, I tried to reach him, but he never answered or texted back. I've been so worried about him. When the police called Colton today, and the news spread around the office, I got really scared for Todd."

  "Were there any other texts or conversations that in retrospect seem troubling?" she asked.

  "Isn't what I've told you enough?"

  "You could have told us all this at the office," she said. "Why did you need to meet us here? Why couldn't you speak to us there?"

  Jackie's tongue darted out, as she gave a nervous swipe of her lips. "Well, okay. Right before you showed up today, Trent came into my office suite and pulled all the files having to do with Todd's assignments. He said the police wanted them, but I don't know. There was something about the way he was acting that seemed weird. And when I asked for information, he told me not to say anything to anybody. He also asked me if Todd had ever left anything at my apartment. I was stunned by the question. I had no idea that Trent knew we'd slept together. I told him no. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he couldn't tell me."

  Savannah glanced at Ryker. "Colton told us Trent was out of town."

  "Trent did tell me he was going on a trip, but he didn't say where," Jackie put in. "Anyway, I was afraid to talk to you at the firm after what Trent said to me."

  "That was wise. You should always trust your instincts."

  "My instincts tell me that Todd is in trouble. I hope he's all right. Even if he doesn't want to be with me, I want him to be alive. I'll do anything to help."

  "What kinds of cases was Todd working?" she asked.

  "That's the thing; they were nothing unusual. He did some event security. He was a bodyguard for a celebrity who was in Atlanta for a movie premiere. He worked a golf tournament for a bunch of CEOs. The only thing I can think of that might have been in those case files that was at all interesting was when Trent took Todd to talk to a defense contractor who might be interested in using our company. Because Todd was a former Ranger, Trent thought his presence would carry some weight, but it was just a meeting."

  "And that meeting was in the files that Trent wanted?"

  "Ye
s. But it was like a page. It was nothing that would cause anyone trouble. I think it's the gambling that's out of control."

  "Do you know where we can find Vic?"

  "He's a bartender at Maloney's Saloon on Fourth Street."

  "We'll talk to him."

  "If you find Todd, will you tell him I'm worried about him?"

  "Of course," she replied, as she pulled out a card. "If you think of anything else, call me."

  "I will." Jackie pulled her jacket more tightly about her and then walked away, hurrying through the dark shadows of the park.

  She turned to Ryker. "Looks like we're getting a drink."

  "Definitely. What did you make of that?"

  "Well, Jackie is in love with Todd. Todd has a gambling problem, which ties in with what we've heard from other people. Trent Carmack grabbing the files…I don't know what to make of that. I should have asked her who the defense contractor was."

  "It doesn't feel like there's a connection."

  "Except that why did Trent want the files?"

  "I can't answer that."

  "One thing I thought was a little odd was that while Jackie seemed genuinely upset about Todd, she was also specific in what she wanted to relate to us."

  Ryker raised a brow. "As if she was coached to say what she said?"

  "Possibly."

  He gave her a thoughtful look. "I didn't read her that way, but you could be right. You're a very suspicious person, aren't you, Savannah?"

  "It's part of the job. I can't afford to take people at face value. There's often a hidden agenda, even when it has nothing to do with the case. People are always looking out for their own self interests."

  "You're not just suspicious; you're also cynical."

  She shrugged. "Now that you've discovered some of my negative traits, are you feeling better that we only had one night together?"

  His lips curved upward. "Surprisingly, no. I think having witnessed my recent attack, you'd be the one feeling that way."

  "Surprisingly, no." She held his gaze for a long moment and then she cleared her throat. "Let's find Vic."