Critical Doubt

by Barbara Freethy

  He nodded, frustrated by their lack of progress. He paced around the room, too restless to sit.

  "Are the bells coming back?" she asked.

  "No. I'm just thinking about what we need to do tomorrow, how we can get out in front of this."

  "Can you tell me more about Hank and Mason?" she asked, as she got to her feet. "I don't know much about either one. It might be helpful." She moved over to the nearest bed and stretched out, resting her back against the headboard.

  "Hank is from San Diego, California. His parents divorced when he was young, and then his mom remarried a few years later. She had a daughter after Hank, who was born with special needs, which took up a lot of her time. I know Hank was fiercely devoted to his half-sister, but he didn't get along at all with his stepdad and not too well with his mom, either. From what I heard, he made a lot of trouble for them. One of the problems with Hank is that he has a short fuse. He lives to fight. He is always looking for trouble, and he finds it more frequently than anyone else. I kept hoping his brain would catch up to his physical skills, which were impressive. He's been into fitness his entire life, and since he left the army, he has gotten back into that and apparently works at a gym in DC. He's running some kind of boot camp program."

  "And he wasn't injured in the ambush?"

  "No. But he decided not to re-up. He said at the time he couldn't stand the thought of joining a new team."

  "So he got along with everyone else on the team."

  "I'd say so. They weren't in a position where they had to challenge him or criticize him, so there wasn't as much friction between them."

  "What about Mason?"

  "Mason is the opposite of Hank. He's super smart, always thinking. He got along with everyone. He and I both went to West Point, although Mason was two years behind me. We didn't know each other as cadets, but we had that in common. Mason lost his leg from the knee down after the ambush. He was the most badly wounded of all of us."

  "Does he have family support?"

  "He has a sister and brother-in-law and a couple of nieces and nephews. His parents divorced years ago. I'm not sure if they've been around much."

  "And what does Mason do now? Or is he still rehabbing?"

  "I heard he was working for a weapons manufacturing company—Spear Enterprises. In fact, I think your father got him the job."

  "My dad?" she echoed with surprise.

  "Todd texted me that about a month or two ago when he was trying to get us all together. Apparently, Colonel Vance is also working there, and your father is a consultant or something."

  "I didn't know that, but my dad doesn't share much with me. I thought you hadn't been in contact with your team at all, but that's not true."

  "I've gotten some texts, but I've rarely texted back," he admitted, feeling guilty about that. "I didn't want to get together. I needed to deal with my problems first."

  "So you shut everyone out—your family, your friends, and your team."

  "They didn't need to worry about me or get caught up in trying to help me. I didn't want to make their lives more difficult." He paused, seeing an odd look in her eyes. "What?"

  "You think that keeping your family and friends away protects them, but sometimes it hurts them."

  "Are you talking about me or your dad?"

  "Both. I have firsthand experience with being shoved away for my own protection. My father always said he sent me away because it would be better for me. But the truth was that it was better for him. Shutting out people you love is a selfish thing to do. It's not generous, even if you think it is. Your family is worrying about you more, not less, because they're not with you. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's the way I see it."

  Her words stung. Everyone had been treading so carefully around him since he'd gotten hurt. They'd been afraid to make him feel worse, but Savannah had taken a completely different approach with her brutal honesty, and he felt both angry and guilty. Was she right?

  "I'm sorry if—"

  He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Don't apologize. You spoke your truth. Stand by it."

  "I do stand by it. I just probably put a little too much of my own situation onto yours."

  "Well, you know what you're talking about, I'll say that."

  "I do know, Ryker. You've never been the one who had to stay behind. It's different. I've been in both positions. I've been the person who waited at home and the person who served, and you know what? It's sometimes harder to be the person at home. You're safe, but you're still alone, and you have no control over what might happen."

  "You're right. I've never been in that position. Although, at the moment I feel like I have little control over what's happening in my life or in my head, so there's that." He paused. "Have you ever told your father how you felt about his actions?"

  "Yes, but he doesn't listen. He always cuts me off or turns the problem back to me. But you're not him, and I shouldn't have suggested you were like him in any way. So, what were we talking about?"

  He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm tired."

  "Me, too," she said, as she slid down on the bed and rolled onto her side. "The last few days are catching up to me. I'm just going to rest my eyes for a minute."

  "You should go to bed."

  "I'll change in a second," she said, her eyes drifting closed.

  He smiled, as her breath evened out. She was already asleep, but while he was exhausted, he didn't feel sleepy. Still, he kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the other bed. She'd given him something to think about. But as his gaze settled on her, suddenly she was all he could think about.

  She didn't think a second night together could be as good as the first, but he thought differently, and he wanted to prove it to her.

  But what would happen after that? Would either of them really be satisfied with another one-night stand? On the other hand, what was the alternative?

  Their lives were moving in opposite directions, just as they'd been five years ago. Maybe they were destined to only have moments together. Or maybe he was just afraid that wanting Savannah would mean leaving his safety net behind, and for a man who used to be fearless, that was now a frightening thought. He'd gotten used to the isolation. He'd gotten used to the loneliness. Because with those two things came quiet and peace. But neither quiet nor peace were improving his problems.

  Perhaps he needed a different approach. Maybe he needed someone besides himself. Maybe he needed her.

  But what did she need?

  He couldn’t imagine it was someone like him, not the man he was now. Maybe the man he used to be…

  But was that man ever coming back?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Savannah woke up to the sound of water running. The hotel room was dark, but there was light coming from under the bathroom door. The digital clock read five fifty-six. She sat up, realizing she'd slept in her clothes. She couldn't quite believe she'd fallen asleep so quickly, but the exhaustion of the day before had done her in.

  She got off the bed and moved toward her small suitcase, kneeling on the floor as she unzipped it. She was happy that she'd planned on staying with Abby for a few days. While she hadn't brought a lot of clothes, she had enough to get her through at least another day or two. Hopefully, that would be all it took to get the answers they needed. Because more time with Ryker would only complicate her life.

  Already, she was thinking about him way too much. And that needed to stop. There might still be incredible chemistry between them, but they were going in different directions. She couldn't let herself start caring about him, because her life was in California. Her job was her priority. She wasn't living for anyone else anymore; she was living for herself.

  Although, that sounded a little lonely now. But she'd get over that. She'd meet someone someday who was the right fit. That wasn't Ryker. Was it?

  Damn! She hated the little voice inside her head that was always more hopeful, more optimistic than it should be. She couldn't keep yearning fo
r relationships that were completely one-sided. She had to stop thinking about what he needed and focus on what she needed.

  But as the bathroom door opened, and he stepped out, looking so handsome, smelling so good, her heart twisted in her chest, and butterflies danced through her stomach. Her hands clenched into fists, as a desire to run across the room and throw herself into his arms swept through her. She forced herself to look at her suitcase, to figure out what she was going to wear.

  "Bathroom is all yours," Ryker said.

  "Thanks." She grabbed fresh undies, jeans, and a sweater and got to her feet. "I didn't hear an alarm."

  "I didn't set one. I still have an internal clock."

  As she started to move around him, he stepped in front of her, and her pulse sped up once more as she gave him a questioning look. "What?"

  "I just wanted to say one more time that you don't have to come to DC with me. You can go back to Dobbs, spend time with Abby."

  Maybe that's what she should do, but it wasn't what she wanted to do. "I need answers, too. Let's not argue about it."

  "All right. Then I'll just say thanks."

  Her eyebrow shot up. "Now you're thanking me?"

  He nodded. "For a lot more than just your decision to continue on to DC. You've gotten me through some bad moments, and you've had to push past my barriers to do that. It made me angry that you could break them down. I thought they were strong. But in the end, I was glad you did. I appreciate you more than I can say."

  She was incredibly touched by his unexpected words. Her blood raced through her veins once more as their gazes clung together. She realized then she'd been lying to herself. They didn't just have a physical attraction; they had an emotional connection. And that was scarier than anything. She forced herself to move past him before she did something foolish—like kiss him.

  Once in the bathroom, she turned on the shower, opting for a cooler temp. She needed to get her heart rate down and focus on business. But as she showered and dressed, she couldn't stop thinking about his surprising admission. Ryker hadn't let anyone into his life since he'd been hurt, not his family, not his friends, but, somehow, he'd let her in. She was both honored and a little terrified.

  What if she wanted to stay in? What then?

  Ryker might need her now, but that wouldn't last. He was battling his own private war, but she knew he would win. And she'd help him win, even if that meant he didn't need her anymore.

  Hopefully, she wouldn't end up needing him.

  The flight to DC was uneventful. Savannah rented a car upon landing, using her alias ID, but allowed Ryker to drive, since he seemed to be happier when he was behind the wheel. They decided to see Hank first, so they drove to the H Street NE neighborhood, where his gym was located in a two-story brick building on the corner of an eclectic, busy block filled with cafés and small retail shops. It was eleven in the morning when they arrived, and the gym lobby was fairly empty, as they were a little early for the lunchtime workout crowd.

  The desk clerk called for Hank, and he appeared a few minutes later. While she remembered him from the team photo, in person he was much bigger. He was at least six foot four, with dark hair and eyes, and was extremely muscular, his biceps bulging under his short-sleeve T-shirt. There was more than surprise in his eyes when he saw Ryker; there was also wariness. She wondered if that was just because there was always tension between the men or if the stress was coming from somewhere else.

  "I can't believe you're here, Stone. I thought you were done with us."

  "Not done, just dealing with some of my own problems," Ryker said. "How are you, Hank?"

  "All right. Did you go to Paul's funeral?"

  "Yes. I wondered why you didn't."

  "We had a big event on Monday. I couldn't get away. I didn't think you'd go."

  "Well, I did. Todd was there, too."

  "He said he'd represent for all of us." Hank's gaze moved to Savannah.

  She stepped forward and extended her hand. "I'm Savannah Kane. I grew up with Abby, Paul's wife."

  "Oh," Hank said, giving her hand a strong shake. "Why are you both here?"

  "Have you heard about Todd?" Ryker asked.

  "I spoke to him on Monday morning before the funeral. I haven't heard from him since. Why? What's going on?"

  "Todd drove his car into the river Monday afternoon, after the funeral," Ryker said shortly. "He didn't survive."

  Savannah watched Hank closely as Ryker delivered the terrible news.

  Hank's lips tightened, and his eyes filled with shadows. "I don't understand. Todd is dead? How is that possible?"

  "I don't know," Ryker replied. "But I don't think it was an accident."

  "If it wasn't an accident…" Hank paused. "Are you saying he killed himself?"

  "There's a chance."

  "Damn. That's insane." He shook his head in bemusement. "Although, it sounded like that's what Paul did, too. When Todd told me that Paul fell off the roof, I just couldn't believe it. He was as nimble as a mountain goat."

  "He was wasted at the time."

  "Yeah, that's what Todd said, but there was still a part of me that wondered. Now you're telling me Todd drove into the river, and I'm supposed to think that's an accident, too?"

  "Do you think Paul and Todd were suicidal?" Ryker asked.

  "They weren't happy. But I wouldn't have thought they'd kill themselves," Hank replied. "I don't know what to say."

  "I don't think either one of them killed themselves," Ryker said. "I think someone else had a hand in Todd's death, maybe in Paul's death, too. There's a good chance someone is taking out all the members of our team, which is why I'm here. One of us could be next. We need to have a longer conversation. Can you break away for a bit?"

  Hank hesitated, then glanced at his watch. "I have ten minutes before my next session starts. Come with me." He led them into a small adjacent room with a desk and two chairs that was set up to sell memberships. "Have a seat and start at the beginning."

  "When I spoke to Todd at Paul's funeral, I thought Todd was extremely agitated. He was angry and ranting about the army, about us all ending up where we are. He was blaming himself for Paul's death. He stormed off, got into his car, and minutes later, we heard a crash. His vehicle had gone into the Dobbs River."

  "Ryker jumped in after him," Savannah put in, wanting this man to know that Ryker had done his duty.

  "But Todd wasn't in the car," Ryker continued. "They didn't find him for twenty-four hours."

  "I can't believe this. But it still sounds to me like he killed himself. What am I missing?" Hank asked.

  "There was an explosion at Todd's house yesterday," Ryker replied. "Since Todd was dead, he didn't do that, which means someone else wanted to cover something up. Add that to the fact that someone tried to run me down last night, and there's a pattern emerging. With Paul and Todd gone, there are only three of us left."

  Hank sat back in his chair, folding his beefy arms across his broad chest. "Why would someone come after us? We're not doing anything of interest. We're not a threat to anyone."

  "I can't figure out a motivation unless it has something to do with our last mission," Ryker said.

  "On the other side of the world? I can't see how that would figure into anything."

  "Well, if it's not that," Ryker continued, "what else could it be?"

  Hank thought for a moment. "I don't know why anyone would be after us, but it's possible that Todd and Paul were gambling and that they might have crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed. I told them to stop looking for the quick fix and just work harder. Todd had a decent job, but he never picked up as many hours as he could. And Paul could have worked there, too, even with his physical limitations. I also said they could come here and work at the gym. Since Paul was having trouble with his wife and wasn't living at home anymore, it seemed like he could make a move if he was that desperate."

  "Is that why you texted Todd about moving up the timeline?" she asked.

&nb
sp; He shot her a quick, surprised look. "You went through Todd's texts? I don't understand. Do you have his phone?"

  "No, I don't have his phone, but someone mentioned they saw a text from you to him."

  "Someone? Who?"

  "It doesn't matter," Ryker interrupted, drawing Hank's gaze back to him. "You said Paul and Todd might have crossed a line… What line?"

  "I think they were both trying to get a loan from a private individual, but I don't know who. Look, unlike you, Ryker, I tried to help them, but, frankly, I have problems of my own. Paul and Todd were spending more time feeling sorry for themselves than anything else. Maybe that sounds cruel, but it's the truth." He checked his watch once more and then stood up. "I have to go."

  "We need to keep talking, Hank," Ryker said as he got to his feet.

  "Why? We can't bring Paul and Todd back. And I don't even understand why you're suddenly all worked up about them. You abandoned everyone. We haven't heard from you in months."

  "I've had a lot of issues to deal with."

  "As we all have. Hell, Mason lost his leg, and he stays in touch. You still have yours."

  Savannah sucked in a breath as anger raced across Ryker's face. She was sorry to see the conversation disintegrating. Hank had more information than Ryker did, and their brief conversation had only touched on a few small pieces. But now they were bristling like two dogs about to fight.

  "You two need to forget about the last few months," she said forcefully. "This is about now. You could both be in danger, as well as your friend Mason. If you each go it alone, you'll be bigger targets. You need to put your pride, your egos, and your pissed-off attitudes aside and sit back down."