Pretentious Hearts

by M J Schlotter

  Feeling the tears burning within her eyes, Katie lay her head upon her arms and let them have their way. For the first time in her life she wished she was not at Kerney Hall.

  “Is everything alright Jocelyn?” Captain Wesley asked as Lady Shelby returned.

  “Peachy,” Jocelyn smiled taking her seat and setting the bottle of Chardonnay upon the table. “I just decided to freshen up a bit on the way back. I hope I was not too long.” She added, replacing her napkin on her lap.

  “Well, don’t you worry Jocelyn,” Emma laughed brightly, “the men talked of nothing interesting while you were away. Merely sporting matches back in London and old acquaintances they served with in the war.”

  “Excellent!” Jocelyn beamed. “Now, how about we start discussing more exciting topics like what we shall do for the rest of our holiday here.”

  Robert and his guests were lively bantering as Katie emerged with the main course. She set the tray on the serving buffet then quietly walked around the table refiling wine and water glasses. As she began collecting salad plates and utensils, she felt the burning sensation of eyes and knew Lord Clifton’s gaze was upon her. She forced herself to keep her eyes down not wanting him to see how red and puffy they were.

  “Jocelyn,” She heard Robert speak, “you’ve hardly touched your salad. Would you like Katie to leave it?”

  “No,” Lady Shelby replied, “My palate is not very partial to this cuisine.” Her voice Katie noticed was light and flirty, but Katie understood the true implication of her words, this Irish food, like its cook, was not something to be liked by Lady Shelby.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Robert spoke sounding disappointed.

  “Oh, darling,” Jocelyn smiled, “It reflects nothing on you as a host.”

  “Well, I’m sure if it tastes as good as it smells, the next course will be lovely.” Captain Wesley spoke brightly. “Say, Katie what are you serving to us old stuffy English folks,” he joked.

  At Captain Wesley’s remarks, Katie was forced to look up. And despite the fact that she was smiling as she regaled his guests with the knowledge that their main course was roasted salmon garnished with new potatoes and red onions, Robert noticed that her eyes were swollen and red as if she had been sobbing. What had she been crying about? Was she alright? But as she left them to eat dinner and then their dessert, Robert was left with his questions unanswered and Katie’s troubled image appearing and disappearing within his thoughts.

  ​After dinner, the rest of the evening had been pretty uneventful. Robert and his guests had reclined in the parlor while he serenaded them with a few songs, and then they had chatted about mundane topics. He tried not to show his disappointment that Katie had apparently decided not to join them, but he knew Charles had glimpsed him glancing at the door occasionally as if expecting Katie to walk through at any moment. He was being ridiculous! Katie was obviously indifferent, otherwise she would have joined them. She was not interested in him, she had made it perfectly clear now on multiple occasions, and he was continuing to act like a pathetic schoolboy who had developed his first crush. A crush which he knew was not possible or practical for him to pursue. The rejection he felt at the declining of his invitation, however, still sent a burning sensation within his chest. Katie it appeared really was playing games. It was an illusion to believe otherwise, for with each action of interest she displayed, it was soon followed by one of callousness. Now, his ego bruised, Robert remained silently fuming while Emma took her turn at the instrument. His loyalty was not something easily bestowed, and if it was deceived near impossible to regain. His trust in Katie’s belief in him, and then her betrayal and infliction of injury upon his pride and person was not to be forgiven!

  ​After ending the evening with nightcaps of brandy, Robert now lay tossing in his bed. He could not sleep. He had been wrong about Katie, and he had been wrong to even have thought there could ever be something between them. He got up and walked over to the window. Try as he might after locking gazes with Katie at dinner, he could not get the image of emerald green eyes from haunting his dreams. He was being a fool! He was allowing her to continue to cause him pain! No, he decided, he was not going to waste any more time or sleep on a losing battle. Tomorrow, he would give Lady Jocelyn Shelby the benefit of the doubt. After all, Charles had brought her to meet him, for he was quite sure that Charles and Emma Williamson both held candles for one another. Why else then would Lady Shelby have accompanied them? Was it not to try and entice and seduce him back to England?

  Charles was a man whose instincts and opinions he highly valued. He knew Charles was only trying to keep him from “dying” again, so if courting Jocelyn Shelby would be another way that enabled him to repay his debt, then that was what he must do. For the rest of the night, Robert remained in a restless battle of elusive sleep as images of long blonde hair became doused with emerald greens and jolted him awake. It was with much relief when he saw his bedroom begin to lighten with the soft glow of dawn.

  ​Robert tiredly threw back the covers and walked to the washroom. Being sleep deprived, the warm bath felt nice, and after a quick shave he felt ready to face the day. He tugged on a pinstripe suit with matching vest, dabbed on some cologne and then proceeded down the stairs. Today, he would move forward. Today, he would aim at making a better impression on Jocelyn and give her a second chance.

  Chapter 23

  ​Jocelyn sat at the vanity admiring her reflection. The evening had not gone entirely as she had planned, but it had not been a total loss. Brushing her long blonde locks, she smiled at her own glamorous image. Her mother had always told her, when she was a girl, that other young ladies would envy her looks. Staring at her figure as she set down her brush, she was pleased her mother’s words had proven correct. Her parents had died when she was a child, leaving her to be raised by an aunt, but thankfully it had not been before her mother had bestowed upon her this bit of truthful wisdom. It was not vanity she possessed, she knew smiling at her reflection, but rather a certain class and air that gave her elegance and charm. She giggled at her own astuteness. A knock sounded, and Jocelyn was forced to tear her gaze away from the mirror.

  “Enter,” she commanded.

  “Lady Shelby,” Mrs. Sparrow uttered, “I have brought the calligraphy set you requested from Lord Clifton.”

  “You may place it on the window seat.” Jocelyn remarked turning her attention back to the looking glass. How lovely she looked. Robert must surely have noticed.

  “Is there anything else you require madam?” Mrs. Sparrow inquired, standing by the door.

  “No, that will be all,” Jocelyn tutted impatiently waving her hand in dismissal.

  “Very well, if there is anything please do not hesitate to ring.” The housekeep remarked before stepping back out into the hall.

  Pinching her cheeks slightly so as to add a bit of color to her face, Jocelyn reluctantly rose from the cushioned bench and walked over to the window seat. Opening the calligraphy set, she pulled out a piece of paper then opened the inkwell and dipped the tip of the pen. What she was writing to her aunt was soon going to be the truth, she told herself, she only had to wait for Robert to have the same epiphany. There was no way Lord Clifton could resist the charm of Lady Shelby, the beautiful worldly heiress of Brashton Manor, she giggled delighted by her own description of herself.

  The war had taken too many young men. Those who were left and had large estates, Jocelyn thought sadly, now often found themselves facing financial ruin. Poor Sir Douglas, she recalled, had practically begged her to marry him, but she was not one to enter into such an arrangement as marriage to a pauper with no political ambition no matter how attractive he was. Lady Jocelyn Shelby would never take on a charity case, she sniffed. No, money must marry money she smiled.

  Lord Clifton, was not bankrupt. He, unlike others, had left his estate in responsible and financially trustworthy hands during the war. If she could persuade him to re-enter politics, he was exactly the type of
man she was looking for. It would only be a matter of time, she told herself, before she was Lord Clifton’s fiancé and then mistress of both Evanshire and Brashton. Yes, she would not let him slip from her grasps. It was with this happy realization that she continued penning her letter.

  My Dearest Aunt Margaret,

  I know you did not, and still do not, approve of the fact that I worked with the Red Cross during the war, and it pains me so that we have not reconciled over this matter. I hope, however, that we may soon lay this petty disagreement to rest. Since I have been in London for the past few months and have not had a chance to return to Brashton to stay with you, I shall be coming home soon, but before I do, I wish to share with you the most delightful news.

  I am betrothed to the dashing and very wealthy, Lord Robert Clifton of Evanshire! You have most likely heard his name, for before the war, he was greatly influential and esteemed in our country's political sphere. Not only is he, or shall I say was he one of England's most eligible bachelors, but he has also been spoken of as a future candidate for Prime Minister. To think that I might very well be the wife of the next prime minister is simply enchanting! Just think how that prestigious title will add to my already superior societal standing; even though you and I both know, my dearest aunt, that my social circle does not need improving, for you took great care to raise me in prestige and promote me in my debutante year. There is still, however, a fabulous air at being not only known as Lady Jocelyn Clifton, but also as Spouse of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. It would be a most excellent feather in my hat if I do say so.

  I look so forward to seeing you again soon, and for you to meet my dashing fiancé. I cannot wait for the announcement of our engagement to be in the societal section of the papers, it is sure to be the engagement of the decade and the envy of every other lady. I know mother and father would truly be elated by such a remarkable and suitable match of two like minded individuals, and I know you must certainly be pleased as well.

  I am hoping to return to you and Brashton Manor in a fortnight. I am currently on holiday with my fiance and our mutual friends in Ireland. If you wish to write me, you may send letters postmarked to Kerney Hall in Carlingford, Ireland.

  Until then, your loving niece and future Lady Clifton,

  Lady Jocelyn Shelby

  Putting down her pen, Jocelyn smiled pleased with herself. Now, she thought allowing the ink to dry before placing the letter in its envelope, all she had to do was win Robert’s heart. The task should be easy enough, she concluded, especially now that she was sure she had put an end to any more of that meddling cook’s flirtations. Robert was a man who was going to be a bit of a challenge, Jocelyn decided, but she loved challenges. She had not yet encountered one she had been unable to beat she smiled. It was only a matter of time before Robert was smitten with her and begging her to be his wife.

  She would give the letter to Mrs. Sparrow first thing in the morning, so that it would be sent out in the earliest post she grinned. Then yawning and stretching her arms, Jocelyn left the window seat. Sauntering to her bed, she slipped beneath her covers, thoughts of wedding planning and shaking hands as she was introduced as Lady Jocelyn Clifton, Prime Minister Lord Robert Clifton’s wife, filling her head.

  Chapter 24

  Quickly throwing on a white blouse and dark brown skirt, Katie rushed from her room. She had meant to get up a half hour earlier, and after tossing and turning from her encounter with Lady Shelby had unfortunately overslept. With her head bent as she hastily worked on throwing her long curls into a bun, she was not paying attention as she darted through the main hall. She had to get to the kitchen and get there as quickly as possible, because the household would soon be waking. Smack! She felt herself stagger backwards but was quickly steadied by two hands pressed lightly on her shoulders.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She apologized looking up to see who she had ran into. “I wasn’t…” Robert’s dark brown eyes met hers, and she found whatever nerves connected her brain and mouth were suddenly paralyzed.

  “It’s quite alright.” Robert spoke holding her gaze. Then realizing his hands were still holding her, he hastily removed them and placed them in his pockets. “You should be more careful. Are you alright?” he remarked coolly.

  “Yes, I’m fine. I said I was sorry.” Katie spoke with indignation as she rubbed her forehead. Robert had removed his hands so fast it was as if she had burned him. It was confirmed, he most surely despised her.

  “We will have breakfast on the veranda.” Robert spoke, then forcing a smile he continued, “And please make sure Lady Shelby has fresh flowers at her seat.” He then walked around her refusing to look back even when he felt her gaze lingering upon him.

  Katie stood stationary in the hall watching Robert’s retreating back. So, it was true. Lord Clifton and Lady Shelby were engaged. Katie felt a sudden pang of anger rise within her chest. When he had arrived at Kerney Hall, there had been no inclination from Lord Clifton that he was engaged. Had he been befriending her merely to take her to bed like Lady Shelby had implied? It was out of guilt that his motives and engagement were known to her then, Katie concluded, that Lord Clifton had avoided her and now confronted her with icy tones. She had not caused him pain with her words like she had thought, though now she wished she had. Her conscious was clean! When Robert turned the bend at the end of the corridor, Katie shook her head in angry satisfaction then continued towards the kitchen.

  As he and his guests reclined at the table, Robert smiled at Jocelyn, he was going to make this work, for Charles’s sake.

  ​“Oh, Lord Clifton, these daisies are simply beautiful!” Jocelyn acclaimed.

  “Not nearly as beautiful as you, Lady Shelby.” Robert spoke. He could not believe he had just said that, but if he was going to make an effort to court Jocelyn it seemed the appropriate course of action.

  As they ate breakfast on the veranda, Robert took in the surroundings. It was a beautiful summer morning. A slight breeze was blowing and the day was sure to bring the mild temperatures of fading summer and emerging autumn that the middle of August usually brought. Robert went inside to make a quick telephone call then rejoined his guests.

  ​“Robert, what are you up to old chap?” Charles inquired sipping his coffee and turning away from his conversation with Emma.

  ​ “Just a little surprise that’s all,” Robert smiled then turned to Lady Shelby, “I must say, Jocelyn, that dress is most becoming.” That dress is most becoming? Robert could not believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Why couldn’t Charles have left this aspect of his life alone? And why was he being such a willing buffoon?

  ​Glancing down at the soft blue pleats of her skirt, Jocelyn looked up, “You are much too kind Lord Clifton,” she smiled.

  ​“Please,” Robert insisted, “it’s Robert if you don't mind.” He held her gaze for a second. Yes, she definitely was staring at him like he was a prized bull she was determined to win. He shuddered, then forced himself to smile at her before taking a sip of his coffee. He saw Lady Shelby beam as her enamoured face remained glued upon his own.

  ​As Charles raised his coffee cup to his lips, Robert saw the grin spreading across his friend’s face. Lathering strawberry jam on his toast, Robert felt the hole the war had ripped within his heart throb. Humanity had deserted him and the rest of the world, yet the dull ache of his heart gave him faith that he was beginning to heal and would soon re-enter the human race. The thought of healing with Jocelyn Shelby on the prowl, however, was something, no matter how much he didn’t want to admit, he found he very much detested.

  As they continued to eat breakfast, Robert continued to feel like he was on display. Every time he looked up from his plate he caught Jocelyn gazing at him. Hoping to distract her from himself, he turned towards Emma.

  “So, Miss Williamson.” He began.

  “Emma, please.”

  “Emma,” Robert smiled, “what do you do in London now that the war is over?”


  “I work as a secretary at a barrister’s office.” She spoke taking a sip of her hot tea. “It’s not putting the medical knowledge I gained from the Red Cross to use, but it is interesting and keeps me busy and able to rent a room in one of the boarding houses for young ladies.”

  “She gets to hear about some of the most intriguing cases.” Charles chimed in, “But if you ask me,” he added with a smile, “they are wasting her talents. Emma’s cool intellect and attention to detail would make her a wonderful barrister herself. If only times were different.”

  “Come now, you perjure yourself,” Emma blushed making Charles even more delighted by the truths he had spoken.

  ​Half an hour later the group left the veranda. Robert had instructed his companions to dress in attire suitable for outdoor excursions. Jocelyn and Emma now appeared coming down the stairs in equestrian suits. They both had on light brown bloomers tucked neatly into knee high leather boots, white long sleeved blouses with neck scarves, and riding hats. Jocelyn’s long blonde hair was scooped elegantly back in a bun, and Emma’s tidy bob was pinned slightly to the side. The ladies smiled when they saw Robert and Charles watching them make their grand entrance. The gentlemen, Jocelyn noted, looked rather dashing themselves in their outdoor suits and boots, especially Robert she thought, her eyes lingering in his direction.

  When they reached the bottom of the steps, Captain Wesley came forward extending his arm to Emma. “May I have the honor of escorting you Miss Williamson,” he smiled, with a twinkle in his eye.

  “Why of course, Captain Wesley,” Emma grinned back, “I would love to accompany you.”

  Robert noticed his friend’s face light up full of life, and smiling to himself, he thought it was wonderful Charles had found someone who seemed so genuine and happy in her life. Yes, Emma Williamson and Charles Wesley were a good match. Both had lived through the war and seen their own varieties of atrocities, but they were still whole, still human and living their lives to the fullest. Robert knew that although they would never forget the war, for it would always be a part of them, they were moving on; becoming stronger. Robert envied them, envied their happiness and the way they were still dancing with life, for he too wanted to put the past behind him and move forward. If only he could, he thought sadly.