Heart Ripper

by K. A. Merikan

  He took a few deep breaths and typed, [Did you think about what I said?] and sent it, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. He wondered whether David would mention his purity ring again. If sucking off a man he didn’t know “didn’t count”, Raja wondered what did. And if the ring actually meant purity, or if Raja being his first was just a lie because David omitted other non-sex he’d been involved in.

  [Who is this?] came the answer. [I don’t know this number.]

  Raja squeezed his hand around the phone. He wanted to challenge the little prude on his lie, but what if David genuinely wanted to move on after the kiss and had deleted Raja’s number? Raja rubbed his forehead. No, the kid wouldn’t have done that.

  [You know who, sweet lips.]

  [Don’t call me that!] came back in an instant. He could just about imagine David sitting on his bed and ferociously thinking what to write. He was probably wearing some ridiculously proper pajama. Blue plaid.

  Raja smirked. [Liar, liar.] he wrote, chewing on his lip. [Have you been thinking about me too?] This could have been a bit much, but there was nothing wrong with some innocent flirting when Raja’s intentions were pure.

  [Why would I be thinking about some dirty old biker? >:(.]

  Raja’s face fell, and he typed quickly, [Old but not limp!]

  [You only talk to me to humiliate me more. Are you bored or something? I’m very busy.]

  Yeah, right. At two in the morning. But then David attached a photo. Raja’s blood stirred, and he hunched over the phone, brain flooded with imaginary visions of young flesh moving back and forth as Raja pumped into it. David’s cheeks on fire as he looked back at Raja, begging for him to go faster and harder. There was no purity ring on David’s finger. The little loop of silver was safely rolled onto Raja’s tongue, and he sucked on it, savoring all of that teenage innocence as he fucked David’s smooth ass hard and fast.

  But when Raja opened the photo, expecting a dick pic, or at least a selfie, all he got was an image of a bookmarked Bible next to a cup of tea.

  He hovered his index finger over the screen for several seconds before typing again. [That makes me sad. Honestly.]

  [It shouldn’t. I have a job interview tomorrow, and I only need good energy, not your negativity. And your kiss wasn’t even all that anyway.]

  Raja rolled his eyes. [I’m worried about you.] he wrote in the end.

  [What do you care? You got your fun.]

  Raja stretched, watching a single car drive by. It was so peaceful here. He tried to choose the right words several times, but in the end decided to be most straightforward. [I don’t want you to go to a camp or do conversion therapy.]

  It seemed that David was also taking his time to choose words, because it felt like forever until Raja got an answer. [I don’t want to go. But I don’t want to be like this either.]

  Raja groaned and bumped his forehead against the screen. [Why not? Not all guys are diseased manwhores like me ;)] he typed in the end.

  [OMG! You *are* diseased?] David wrote back, and Raja groaned in frustration. He needed to put this one to bed once and for all.

  [No. I was trying to make a joke and failed.]

  David wrote back quickly. [Sorry! Here’s some pie I made.] He attached a photo of a slice of pie, and Raja could hardly believe it. The cutie baked, too?

  [Are you really offering, or is this one of those Internet-only things?] asked Raja.

  [You can’t come over. I live with Hunter now.]

  Raja laughed out loud. David had basically told him that he’d be invited if David lived alone. [Even if I climbed into your room to get a slice of your pie?]

  [You said you didn’t want anything to do with my *pie*, so that ship has sailed.]

  Raja chewed on his lip and imagined himself breaking into Hunter’s house to get a piece of that pie. Hunter would shoot any intruder and then ask questions, but what was life without a bit of risk? If he managed to remain unseen, he could give David that first cocksucking lesson.

  [Don’t go to the camp], he wrote in the end, slightly deflated.

  [I don’t think I will. It’s a bit scary. I’ll probably stick with abstinence unless I meet a girl I like. If I don’t, there’s more to life than sex anyway. I’ve got hobbies.]

  Raja sighed and combed his hair back with his fingers, relieved that David only mentioned the camp without thinking things through. [Are you saying sex is my hobby?] he wrote back.

  [I don’t know. Is it? You seemed to… know what you’ were doing.]

  Raja couldn’t help the memories of David’s lips on his cock flood back. He’d gotten countless blowjobs in his life, but the way David couldn’t utter ‘fuck’ the first time, or the desperate way in which he clung to Raja’s T-shirt were hard to forget.

  [I play chess.]

  [I lied. I’m not reading the Bible.] David attached another picture. Raja could bet the boy had an Instagram account. The photo featured a notebook with dates, little drawings of plants, and a table with notes on them. [I’m revising for a job interview.]

  Raja smiled, happy that David had better prospects than he did at David’s age. [What’s the job?]

  [It’s at a flower shop. But they have a whole range of seeds, cacti, and do flower arrangements too.]

  Raja smirked. [So you’re gonna be a flower boy now? You sound like you know all about this.]

  [I used to help my mom in the garden, and I’m helping Hunter sort out his backyard. You’d look so cute with a flower beard, ha ha!]

  Raja frowned and sent back a question mark.

  [Ah… it’s this thing on the Internet where guys stick flowers into their beards, and make whole arrangements like that. Ugh… I guess it’s not your style.]

  Raja shook his head, even though David couldn’t see him. He stroked the side of the smartphone. [What is my style?] he typed in the end.

  [Tattooed and dangerous <3]

  A weird warmth curled up in Raja’s stomach. [That’s what you like? Old, dangerous men with tattoos?] he asked in the end and waited, impatiently watching the screen.

  [You’re not old. I didn’t mean it. But guys my age don’t do it for me.]

  Raja could imagine David curled up in bed with his phone, maybe cupping his dick already. But somehow, it didn’t feel right to ask about it. Taking into account that David was Hunter’s baby brother, he shouldn't even be thinking about it.

  [I know. It’s kinda nice to be someone’s teenage crush], he typed.

  [So full of yourself. What’s your type then? Since I was only good enough for a fling.] There was scorn in those words. No doubt about that.

  Raja sighed and pulled on his beard before typing his answer. [You know it’s not about that. You’re Hunter’s brother.]

  [It’s fine. Forget about it. At some point, I will too.]

  Raja exhaled, shuddering with the cold that suddenly poured all over him. He should have talked to David before taking on the bet. It was meant to be innocent fun, but for David it hadn’t been.

  [I’m sorry.]

  [Goodnight. I have to get up early tomorrow.] He attached a photo of a white fluffy cat sitting on his pillow.

  Raja smirked and quickly snapped a picture of himself waving and sent it to David. When no answer came, he felt oddly deserted on the empty street. The orgasm he’d had just half an hour ago was becoming a fleeting memory while the kiss from a few days earlier still burned on his lips.

  When his phone rang, for a split second his heart leapt, and he thought it was David, but it was Tooth. Raja licked his lips and waited a moment before picking up the call.

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re fine with you going on the road. We should make it with Spin supervising your side. I’ll get you in contact with a few of the other chapters.”

  Raja sighed. He wasn’t sure whether that was what he wanted or not. “You sure you’ll be fine without me for a month? You know, Spin could drop dead any second,” he said with a low laugh.

  Tooth snorted.
“We’ll call you back if there’s a funeral.”

  Raja walked up to his bike. “Works for me. Good night.”

  When Tooth hung up and Raja finally mounted the bike, he couldn’t help but think of David again. At least being away for several weeks would let him get some much-needed distance.

  Chapter 8

  David took a deep breath once he attached his bicycle to a stand next to the coffee shop that cuddled up against the large flower shop, which had flowers filling all windows, and there was even a wedding-themed display, complete with a fake five-tier cake decorated with lilies.

  The sun shone down on him, the air was warm but fresh. This would be his day. He would get the job and soften the blow to his parents. Just because he wasn’t going to college didn’t mean he wouldn’t get somewhere in life. He could have a meaningful career, with or without a degree.

  He smiled at himself in the window, ready to show Lindell, the owner, what he was made of. He wore blue pants and sneakers and had taken forever in the morning ironing his white shirt. After ages of mulling over the tie or bow tie issue, he went with a blue dotted bow tie to show more personality. It was a flower shop after all, not a bank.

  David quickly pushed into place a few strands of hair that the breeze had blown out of place on the way there, but as his gaze swept over the colorful display, he stiffened when he discovered a tiny rainbow flag. His heart thudded, and just like that, it felt as if the two steps leading to the shop grew into an enormous staircase. Right. The owner was gay. Lucky had told David so, but now that it was shoved straight into David’s face, everything became much more difficult.

  David pushed open the door, and the bell that rang above David’s head alerted a young woman with lavender-colored hair, who was arranging some of the display inside. “Welcome to the Flower Crown,” she called out.

  The interior of the store made David smile despite his nerves eating up his guts. The place was brimming with flowers arranged by color, and each plant had a little card attached to it with its name. He could already see himself in a green apron tending to the lilies, making arrangements based on customer preferences, the season, or the occasion.

  When the woman approached, patting her hands against the apron she wore, he noticed that her name tag read Suzy.

  “Can I help you?” she asked softly.

  “Hi, my name is David. I came for the job interview with Lindell. Is he in?” Truth be told, David did arrive a bit early, but he wanted to make a good impression.

  Suzy looked back at the clock but nodded. “I’ll tell him you’re already here.” She rushed behind the counter and through a door leading to the backrooms.

  David exhaled and walked up to a block of shelves that stored figurines of anthropomorphic animals. They were pretty cute, and judging from the prices made by a fancy brand. He needed to appear casual, not just stand there like a scolded pupil in front of the principal’s office. Still, the sound of the door opening behind him sent a shiver down his back.

  Suzy rushed to resume her work, but winked at David from behind her boss’s back. Lindell was a wiry, handsome man with black hair interwoven with a bit of silver at his temples. He smiled at David and offered his hand in greeting. “Hi, how are you doing?” he said and promptly introduced himself.

  “I’m great, thanks. Just a bit nervous.” David gave the man a big smile. “But the shop is so lovely. I saw that you have books as well. I’ve got the one on flower crowns. I used to make them with my little sister.”

  Lindell grinned and reached out his hand toward the open door behind the counter. “Lucky told me only good things about you. No need to be nervous.” They walked toward the door, and once they left the fragrant safety of the store and entered a corridor stacked with cardboard boxes, David felt out of his depth despite Lindell’s assurance.

  “Little sister, huh?” murmured Lindell, following David into a cluttered little office with two large filing cabinets and a single desk. “So you’ve been interested in flowers for a long time?” he asked and showed David a chair before sitting down behind the desk.

  David nodded quickly once he took a place. “Yes, it might sound ridiculously enthusiastic, but I love all kinds of flowers. My mom has a big garden, and I used to help her all the time. We’d take the flowers to church on Sunday, or in the summer, we would make flower arrangements for friends’ parties.”

  Lindell leaned back in the chair and folded his hands in his lap. “So it’s a true passion?”

  “Definitely. I live with my brother now, and his backyard is a mess, but I’ve made it my little project to get it in shape.”

  “That’s promising. Do you have any retail experience?” asked Lindell, making a note in a small notebook.

  “I did charity work at church, and we sometimes had bake sales, market stands, things like that, so I helped out with that. I know how to please customers. This one time, a lady was really angry and rude when asking about the ingredients of the muffins we were selling, but I figured she must have been having a bad day. So I was really kind to her, answered all her questions, and by the end of the transaction, she told me that she had problems with her daughter’s food habits, and I cheered her up. She bought lots of muffins, and everyone had a great day. Win-win.” David gave Lindell his best smile.

  “You mentioned being very engaged with your church. I’m assuming you are religious, and obviously that’s perfectly fine, but this shop is a safe space, very LGBTQ friendly. If you were approached by, say, a transsexual woman, would you be comfortable with serving her, given your background?” Lindell’s brown gaze shot right through David.

  It felt as if Lindell had set fire to David’s face. “I… I don’t believe in hating people,” he uttered. “Everyone would get my best customer service.” He took a deep breath. “I’m actually trying to meet new people from all sorts of backgrounds. I’ve just moved out of my parents’ home.”

  Lindell nodded but still watched David with that serious gaze. “Would your family not share your beliefs?”

  David looked down at his hands. “In all honesty, I don’t think they would, sir.”

  Lindell laughed. “Don’t sir me. It makes me feel old.”

  “I’m sorry.” David let out a nervous chuckle. “I was just thinking about my mom, and she’s a lovely person, but she can say very rude things sometimes. I want to see the world on my own terms.”

  Lindell tapped his pencil against the notebook. “That’s a very healthy attitude. It can get you far in life.”

  “I want to challenge myself. Lucky—” All of a sudden David realized he didn’t know Lucky’s actual name, and he might have made a faux pas, but then he remembered Lindell had referred to him that way too. “Lucky told me you would be doing flower arrangements for his wedding. It’s another thing I’d like to learn and be good at.”

  Lindell smiled. “So wedding decorations for same-sex couples are perfectly fine with you as well, is that correct?”

  Even David’s ears were getting hot as the image of him marrying Raja flooded his brain. What was Raja’s surname, anyway? Was it something that would go with ‘David’? Would they have double surnames? Would Raja wear some traditional Indian wedding outfit? A turban? What flowers would suit them both? Or was the Indian wedding fantasy misguided because of his love of Bollywood? Maybe Raja wanted a wedding in a barn, with burlap tablecloth, and hay bales for seats?

  David licked his lips and smiled. “Flowers are a universal language, they don’t discriminate.”

  Lindell smiled. “I really like your attitude, but I need to know if you have an eye for arrangements. Obviously, if you are hired, we will train you but this is an art, and it requires a degree of talent.” He stood up and tore out the page that he’d been writing on. “I want you to make a flower crown for a blonde bride, whose wedding theme is Tolkien’s elves. The dress is cream with golden thread. You have half an hour,” he said, handing the page with notes to David.

  Excitement rushed through David,
and he got up with a smile. “I’m on it.” He’d spent ages making flower crowns for Amy. He had this! And he’d even seen the Lord of the Rings movies, so he had a feel for the style. Unlike Game of Thrones, Mom deemed Lord of the Rings appropriate entertainment for him. Actually, Mom deemed many things inappropriate.

  He set off to choose his flowers in the store, and started to work at a wooden table by the counter. Even his worries about whether he’d said the right thing or not disappeared when he focused on the arrangement. He chose two lilies for the sides, and tried not to question his choices too much. His mom always told him he shouldn’t overthink it and just go with his heart. Too bad that couldn’t be the case when it came to Raja.

  Next to him, Suzy served customers, but he was completely immersed in the work at hand. The clock was ticking, and half an hour didn’t seem to be enough time for someone who didn’t know the store or where anything was. Still, by the time Lindell came out of the office to examine the crown, David was done with it.

  Lindell picked up the arrangement, frowned, and examined it from each side, pulling on the green wires David had used as the basis for the whole thing. In the end, the crown was back on the counter, and Lindell glanced back at David. “How do you think you did?”

  David took a deep breath and smiled. “It’s lovely. I’d wear it.” Behind him, Suzy burst out laughing.

  Lindell picked up the flower crown and placed it on David’s head with a barely held-back smirk. “It does suit you, although all those frills would be better fitting for a bride.”

  Suzy walked up to them and rested her elbows on the counter from the other side. “It is pretty. I would totally wear that.”