Burn for Me

by Lea Coll

“Someone’s in denial,” Stella murmured.

  Stella was right—it would be awkward if we shared the dog and one of us started dating someone. Why was he upset at the thought of me dating? Unless he was jealous.

  Emma leaned over to whisper, “What’s going on with you two?”

  “He’s helping me with Bailey,” I said, debating how much I should tell her. I was a little confused myself.

  “It’s more than that. Luke said he helped you out when you were sick and took a case for you?” Emma asked.

  “How does Luke know all of this?” I asked.

  “Oh my God, the guys are worse gossips than we are,” Emma said.

  I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know his motives. “You know as much as I do.” I thought of the way he stepped up and took care of me that day, how he’d talked to Richard for me, defended me, so I wouldn’t get in trouble. I rubbed the goosebumps on my arms thinking of how he’d held me on the couch and I’d fallen asleep in his arms.

  When Logan came back from the restroom, he sat next to me again.

  “I didn’t know you owned a house,” I said softly while the group talked and joked around us.

  “It’s near Luke’s house.”

  “Really? A farmhouse?”

  “No, just a rancher on one acre.”

  “Wow. I would never have pictured you for a guy who owned a home at twenty-nine.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I guess because I don’t. That sounds lame, but I consider myself a planner and I’m nowhere near ready to buy a house. I guess I thought I would be after a few years at Gunner. You know, pay the school loans down, build my savings, then buy a home.”

  “Riley, my sister, is a realtor and a single mom. She encouraged me to buy when there was a good deal and I help her out with my niece a lot. It made sense to get a home with a fenced-in yard. Plus, I want to get a dog, eventually.”

  “You watch your niece?” He babysat his niece and bought a house so he could help his sister? Could he be any sweeter? I had no idea that Logan had this depth to him.

  He smiled and glanced over at me. “Why? Does that not fit in with your impression of me?”

  “No, it doesn’t.” I’d been wrong about a lot of things when it came to Logan. He continued to surprise me in ways that were dangerous for my heart. I could resist a flirt, but not this Logan.

  “This I have to see—you taking care of a little girl. Does she have you wrapped around her little finger?” I smiled, picturing a little girl in pigtails, dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and dimples.

  His smiled. “She sure does. Maddie’s amazing.”

  “I’d love to meet her.” I was fascinated with the way Logan’s demeanor changed when we talked about Maddie. He was completely enamored with her.

  “You will. I’m watching her on Sunday. I usually take her to the farmers’ market. Maybe I could swing by and take you and Bailey with us?”

  “I’d love that.” I smiled, happy he trusted me enough to hang out with him and his niece and at the prospect of spending more time with Logan. I’d resisted getting too close to men in the past, but I couldn’t resist Logan anymore. The single man, who owned his own home, took care of his niece to help his sister out was someone I wanted to know better. Damn the consequences.

  EARLY SUNDAY MORNING, LOGAN KNOCKED on my door, causing Bailey to bark and run in circles around me until I opened it. Logan stood with an adorable little girl, long blonde curls pulled back into a ponytail. Bailey immediately licked her face. She fell onto the floor and erupted into giggles.

  “Looks like we need to train this guy more.” Logan held Bailey back until Maddie could stand up. When she did, I noticed she was wearing the cutest orange romper with white sandals.

  “Yeah, I’ve been slacking since I got him,” I said.

  “This is Maddie, Maddie this is my friend, Ashley. You’ve already met her dog, Bailey.”

  “Hi,” she said shyly.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said a little nervous that I wouldn’t be good with her. She was important to Logan and I wanted her to like me. “Let me just grab my bag and then we can go.”

  “Don’t get too used to shy Maddie. She’ll be herself in no time, talking nonstop, and begging for ice cream.”

  “We can walk to the farmers’ market from here,” I said to Maddie when we walked down the steps to the sidewalk.

  “Can I hold the leash?” She held her hand out.

  I looked at Logan, who nodded, so I handed the leash to her.

  Her face immediately lit up and she walked a few steps in front of us. Once I realized Bailey wouldn’t pull her, I asked Logan, “So, do you watch Maddie a lot?”

  “Yeah, on the weekends. Riley holds open houses and she doesn’t like to take Maddie to those. She’s only six.” He smiled sheepishly. “And it gives me one-on-one time with her.”

  I tried to ignore the way his admission made my heart flip. Was he hiding this side of himself all along or did I not take the time to get to know him? “That makes sense. It must be so hard to be a single mother and work.”

  “It is. That’s why I help her out as much as I can.”

  “Where’s her dad?” I asked softly, so Maddie didn’t hear me.

  “He lives close to Baltimore. There are more job opportunities there. He gets Maddie a few weeks in the summer and they share holidays. Otherwise, they work it out between them. It’s too hard to drive back and forth every other weekend, and Riley doesn’t mind. She wants to have Maddie all of the time and I love taking care of her. I feel like we have this close relationship we wouldn’t have had otherwise.”

  “She has a dad and a cool uncle.” I thought back to how my parents were so preoccupied with Kristen’s dance competition schedule. It would have been great to have an aunt or grandparent step in and take care of me during those times. I would have felt less alone. “More people in Maddie’s life are a bonus.”

  “I agree,” he said softly. When we arrived at the farmers’ market, Logan took Bailey’s leash from Maddie. “Let me take him. This place will be overwhelming for him. There are so many interesting sounds and smells.” Bailey already had his nose to the ground, pulling Logan.

  “Can I do the bounce house?” Maddie asked, Bailey forgotten as she pointed to the kiddie area where the bounce house was set up.

  “Sure,” Logan said.

  She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me over to it, pulling her shoes off as she went, and scrambled inside. She turned back to me to smile and wave.

  “We won’t see her for a while. I watch to make sure there aren’t any little kids she could trample but otherwise, she’s fine in there. Let’s sit.” He nodded to a bench nearby.

  “I’m impressed.”

  “I think you got the wrong impression of me somewhere along the way.” He cleared his throat and stretched his legs out in front of him. “Or maybe that’s what I want people to see.”

  Now we were getting somewhere. I bumped him with my shoulder. “Tell me more.”

  He was silent for so long I didn’t think he was going to answer me. “I’ve always been eager to please. I’m a momma’s boy.”

  I watched his face, him smiling at the memory.

  “I’m sure I learned early on that I had a knack for getting my way and used it to my advantage.”

  When he described himself like that his charm didn’t seem like a bad thing. It was something that came naturally to him. “I guess it’s not a bad thing.”

  “It’s not? It sure seemed like it drove you nuts.”

  “I think you’re so much more, that’s all. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re an amazing lawyer, even without the charm, although I’m sure it’s helpful in front of a jury.” It would be nice if things like that didn’t matter in court, but they did. How you dressed, how likable you were. It helped make you more convincing and persuasive, which was everything in a jury trial. I’d resented Logan because those things came naturally to hi
m and not to me. I could see now that it wasn’t fair. “The dimples don’t hurt, either.”

  “They sure don’t.” He teased, shifting forward, so his elbows rested on his knees. “But seriously, I want you to see that I’m more than a just charming guy.”

  Sensing his vulnerability, I said, “I do.”

  “I don’t know why, but you seeing me as this less-than-honest guy—” he paused, shaking his head. “I’ve never had a problem attracting women. I know that sounds conceited, but they usually ask me out. I’m approachable and nice—”

  I heard the unspoken words: but you’re different. Or maybe I just felt that way. “Don’t you think you’re leading them on a bit with this whole thing you’ve got going on?” I asked, gesturing in a circle at him. “You’re a bit of a flirt.”

  He chuckled at that. “I’ve never thought about it that way until you called me out on it. I thought I was being nice not turning anyone down.”

  I shifted on the bench to face him. “But if you never reciprocate, you never call them, or follow through on their invitations, then isn’t that still rejecting them? It takes longer for them to realize it and it’s not any less hurtful.”

  “Is that what happened to you?” he asked, his eyes steady on my face, waiting for my answer.

  “What?” I shook my head, forcing myself to look away from his knowing gaze. “No. Nothing happened to me.” I held myself stiff, keeping my eyes on the bounce house, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions.

  “Please. You’ve been fighting your attraction to me since day one.”

  Unease swept over me. I thought I’d done a good job of hiding my attraction beneath my animosity. “Cocky, much?” Then I swallowed. Was I that transparent? He’d revealed a little of himself today. He told me he wanted me, shouldn’t I be truthful with him? Especially since he knew. “Maybe not day one.”

  “Some guy hurt you and you’re too scared to try with anyone else.” He said it as a fact.

  I drew in a sharp breath at the truth in his words. “Trust me; no one hurts me. I’m focused on work and,” I leaned down to pet Bailey, “this guy. That’s all I have time for right now.” When Greg told me he wanted someone who was “wife material,” I shut down in the relationship department. What I’d always deemed important in my life—education and career—were so easily dismissed by Greg as too demanding for me to be a proper wife. It never entered my mind that ambition would be a negative in a relationship.

  Logan was turning into a great friend and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. He brought much-needed perspective into my life, but I didn’t know if I was ready to take a risk and date him. The firm didn’t allow relationships between partners and associates. How would it even work?

  His knee nudged mine, breaking me from my thoughts. “Having some deep thoughts?”

  “Nope.” I crossed my arms over my chest, keeping my eyes averted.

  Logan leaned in and said in a low voice. “I’m going to break down those walls. Every. Last. One. And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.”

  I shivered because his words excited me and scared me at the same time.

  He stood up and called for Maddie to come out of the bouncy house. I took a minute to process his words and the realization hit—he’d pursued me this whole time. And he was good. He’d slowly insinuated himself into my life with work, the race, the dog.

  But was he serious about us as a couple? He’d wanted a challenge and I gave him one. When I gave in would he walk away?

  He walked over to a booth filled with large buckets of different flower arrangements and pulled out one yellow gerbera daisy. I watched, riveted, as he paid for the flower and walked straight to me with a smile on his face. He stopped in front of me. “For you.”

  “Thank you,” I managed as I took the flower from him, dipping my head to smell it. It was so perfect it made my heart ache. I wanted to keep it forever, but I knew it would only last a few days.

  He walked over to the bounce house to wait for Maddie put on her shoes, but he glanced back at me, his lips tilted up in a confident grin.

  Shit. I was so screwed.

  TODAY WAS THE DAY WE were shopping for a dress for Sadie and me for the fundraiser.

  “Let’s find a dress Logan can’t resist,” Stella said to me as we piled into her SUV. “A fuck-me dress, if you will. Are you game, Ashley?”

  I met her eyes in the rear-view mirror. “No, no, and no. Everything you said is so wrong.” I was used to Stella’s teasing and bluntness, but Sadie wasn’t. I didn’t want Sadie to think there was anything between Logan and me that she could exploit at work.

  “You needed help finding a dress, Sadie?” Samantha asked, turning around to see us better.

  “Yeah, I don’t have anything formal.”

  “I had a dress for our law school formal, but I want something else,” I said. I’d gone with Greg and didn’t want the reminder. This dinner would be different; I’d be expected to network and talk to clients. It wasn’t entirely a social event.

  “I never went to the law school formals,” Sadie said.

  “Which law school did you go to again?” I asked.

  “UB,” she said, meaning the University of Baltimore.

  “Ah, I went to American,” I said.

  “Why did you come back to the Eastern Shore, Sadie?” Samantha asked.

  I knew Samantha was trying to be nice and get to know her, but Sadie looked uncomfortable with her questions.

  She shrugged, looking out the window. “I like it here.”

  “I’m the same. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere but Chestertown. I love it here,” Samantha said, turning back toward the front.

  “It’s a good thing Jack didn’t move away,” Stella said.

  “Yeah, I’m so happy he was able to get a job at the fire training facility in Centreville,” Samantha said.

  Sadie visibly relaxed, taking a deep breath now that the attention was on Samantha.

  The only information I was able to glean from our shopping trip was that Sadie was a bargain hunter. We were making decent money at Gunner, but maybe she had a mortgage to pay, or she was just frugal. Stella certainly was; she made it a game to find the best deal at any store, which Sadie appreciated.

  On the way back, Stella asked me, “So what’s the deal with the shared doggie? Everyone still breathing?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Stella. Everyone’s still alive. Logan offered to take him today for me since he has a house with a yard.”

  “You guys must be spending a lot of time together between the job and the dog,” Stella said.

  “You’re asking a lot of questions, Stella,” I said, to avoid answering. I was uncomfortable discussing Logan in front of Sadie, since I didn’t know her that well.

  “Hey, my life is super boring. I work as a journalist in a tiny town. You’re my only entertainment.”

  “As long as this doesn’t end up in the paper.” Catching the guilty look on Stella’s face in the rearview mirror, panic rose. “Stella? It’s not in the paper, is it?”

  “Not exactly.” At my anxious look, she said, “It might have made the Stella Says column—”

  My stomach dropped.

  “What! When did this happen?” Emma pulled out her phone.

  “I submitted it yesterday so should be posted today,” Stella said.

  “Oh, here it is! Oh my God, there’s a cartoon. Luke didn’t say anything about submitting a cartoon.”

  “Luke never does. I might have mentioned I was doing a column on the competition at Gunner and a drawing was submitted anonymously to the paper.”

  “Of course it was,” Emma said, shaking her head, but not taking her eyes off the article.

  “Well, what does it say?” I asked, not able to take not knowing anymore. What if someone from the firm saw it?

  “Keep in mind, the column is online only because the old biddies didn’t like my humor. So no one reads it,” Stella said, her voice trailing
off by the end.

  Emma read it out loud: “Competition is fierce for an attorney position at Gunner. In an unprecedented move, Gunner hired three new attorneys to fight for one coveted partner-track position. Word on the street is that they are on probation while the firm decides which attorney will prevail. But what will happen to the other two, will they be fired when it’s all said and done? In the meantime, the young attorneys are working hard to prove themselves. Other firms take note, there might be two qualified attorneys looking for new jobs soon. It seems like a shady move to me, but I’m no attorney. Stay tuned.”

  “That sounds okay; what’s the cartoon of?” The partners at the firm wouldn’t be happy if they saw it, but it was the truth.

  Emma started snickering. “I probably shouldn’t tell Luke everything that goes on at your firm. It shows two people, with a striking resemblance to you and Logan, in a boxing ring.”

  “Nice. Am I winning?” I asked.

  Emma shot me a look. “Only you would ask that.”

  I shrugged. “Hey, it’s important things are depicted in a realistic manner.”

  “Uh huh.” Emma squinted to get a better look at the drawing. “It looks like Logan might have blood on his face.”

  “Nice. Where’s Sadie in this?” I noted that Sadie was quiet during this exchange. I wondered what she thought about the newspaper article. Somehow I knew if she had an opinion, she wouldn’t tell us.

  “She’s sitting in the first row of seats watching you two fight,” Emma said.

  “Let me see,” I held my hand out for her phone. She was right, Logan did have blood on his face and it was captioned Who will win? Will Gunner be the same? “Obviously, I’m going to win.”

  Emma laughed. “Uh huh. And you say Logan is cocky.”

  “Take a look at the picture. Logan looks tired and worn down and I’m ready to uppercut him again.”

  “Uppercut?” Stella asked.

  “You know, boxing language,” I said.

  “How do you know boxing language?” Stella asked.

  “I do cardio kickboxing videos sometimes,” I said.

  “That’s so not the same thing,” Stella said.