The Apocalypse Watch

by J Foster Ward

  “My Lord Jacob, it is not safe to bathe alone.”

  Jacob was too distracted by the beautiful water nymph climbing onto shore to spot Tesla. Water streamed from her bare, nubile body. A slim, perfect woman, with pert breasts, a supermodel’s slim shape and the face with hard cheekbones, slightly snub nose, big, gorgeous amber eyes and a smile that would make a married man hide his wedding ring.

  It took him a moment longer to recognise it was Tesla.

  He stared openly as she crossed the mossy stones by the stream and approached him. Gone was the filthy scarecrow with tangled rats-nest hair. Replaced by something out of a fairy tale of the decidedly sexier kind. For the first time since he’d met her she was no longer a half-starved waif, covered in months of grime, but a blue-skinned bikini babe.

  The flush of warmth he felt had nothing to do with the noon-day sun overhead.

  “I’m fine,” he told her, trying not to stare.

  “I will not have it,” she replied. “It’s my duty to protect you.”

  With that she stripped off her jacket and skirt then stepped into the water beside him, entirely naked. The blue-skinned girl settled in the water up to her neck, sitting on the rocky bottom of the stream. The water was perfectly clear and hid nothing from his gaze. But then he caught her taking a glance down and realized that went both ways.

  “Lord Jacob, I have an urgent matter to discuss.”

  “Can it wait? I’ll be done soon…”

  “It cannot.”

  “Okay, shoot.”

  She glanced around nervously. “Shoot what?”

  “Sorry, that means begin.”

  She gave him a strange look. “I have come to request you honor the will of the tribe. Many have spoken to me and while they are grateful and have great reverence for you, they feel betrayed.”

  “Betrayed how?” he asked, trying not to moan. Had he failed to honor the great god Go-Go Juice?

  “You have not planted your man-seed into your wife,” she said with great seriousness.

  When he burst into laughter, she glared at him.

  “It is no laughing matter! I have married you in front of the tribe as a witness and yet you have not honored them by applying your meat horn to me with energetic prowess!”

  “Listen, Tesla. It’s not that simple. You seem like a nice girl, but I hardly know you, and besides, when would I have had time?”

  “Right away!” she blurted. “At the ceremony! The tribe understood that escaping the wylers’ lair was urgent, and they made special allowance. But now there is talk that you wish ill of the tribe by not thrusting into me!”

  Jake didn’t know what to say. He’d clearly upset some primitive taboo, but he could care less about that. The part that worried him was how hurt Tesla seemed to be.

  “Am I so unattractive to you?” she asked.

  “You are absolutely not unattractive,” Jake said.

  Tesla immediately changed from angry to attentive. “You find me pretty?”

  “You’re all the kinds of pretty,” he said honestly.

  Tesla inched closer to him, biting her lip, and her knee touching his under the water. “Then I have made you angry?”

  “No. Why? You’ve done nothing to make me angry.”

  Her hand came to rest on his leg beneath the cool water. “Then why do you punish me?” she asked softly.

  “I’m not punishing you,” Jake replied quietly. Every inch of his skin was aware of the beautiful naked girl beside him. The hyperactive sex-drive of his clone body began to take notice.

  “Yes, you are,” Tesla said very softly. She swung her leg over his and sat facing him on his knees. “You make a fire burn, here,” she rubbed low on her belly. “And refuse to put it out. You make me ache, here,” and she cupped her breasts, nipples hard and stiff. “And refuse to heal me.”

  She was leaning close and her lips were inches from his.

  “And you taunt me without mercy, with this mighty horn,” she whispered, her hand closing around the hard erection he was sporting.

  Jake reached to take her by the hair at the back of her neck and pulled her against him, kissing her hard. Tesla gave a shocked cry of surprise as his mouth covered her, tasting the soft, blue lips. It quickly changed to delighted moans as he worked his mouth down her neck, tasting of the clear river, and bare shoulder. Travelling around her collarbone and up the other side of her neck the barbarian girl shivered and let out loud moans.

  Suddenly she had pushed herself away, straight armed him as far back as she could without falling off his lap.

  “D-do you w-wish to do the mating ritual with me?” she asked.

  In response he ran his hands up her sides and cupped her breasts, gently massaging them so her eyes rolled up and her mouth opened in a silent groan. Then, gathering her resolve she moved his hands away and gripped him fiercely by the cheeks.

  “I want you to do the ritual. So. Badly,” she almost growled.

  Then she had leapt off his knees and was splashing around by the riverbank, searching for something.

  “Tesla… what are you doing?” Jake asked, bewildered.

  “We don’t have a box! We need something for the sacred box!” she said desperately.

  “Can we skip the sacred box?”

  “No!” she snapped. Then a moment later lifted something from the water. “This will have to do!”

  She waded back to Jake with a flat rock, worn smooth by water, about the size of a dinner plate. She held it out to him expectantly.

  “What do I do with that?”

  “That’s the box.”

  “It’s just a rock.”

  “I know it’s just a rock! Just take it and call it a rock for barl nep’s sweet sake! I cannot stand waiting another moment!” she cried in frustration.

  Jake took the rock in both hands.

  “Now offer it to me!” Tesla insisted.

  “Would you like a rock?” Jake asked uncertainly.

  “Not like that! You’re supposed to say ‘Here is your piz-zah, that will cost 100 supercreds’,” she instructed, face deadly serious.

  Jake suddenly had a feeling that the primitive rituals of the post-apocalypse might have borrowed a few things from the past. Feeling completely surreal he began the mating ritual, trying hard to keep a straight face.

  “I’ve brought you your pizza.”

  “Did you bring it unto me with extra sausage?” Tesla asked, suddenly pleased.

  “Double sausage,” Jake improvised. “But you must pay 100 supercreds, cash.”

  “I don not have supercreds,” Tesla said, getting more excited by the moment. “But I must get an A on this paper. I would do anything to get an A. You must fix the plumbing under my sink!”

  “I’m sure there is something you can trade for it,” Jake said. “I’m sure we can come to some sort of…”

  He was about to say ‘deal’ when Tesla gave an animal cry of desire, knocked the rock aside into the water with a ‘plunk’ and threw herself back on Jacob, kissing him hard and practically drowning them both as they went over in the stream. Jake resurfaced, lifting her out in his arms and she wrapped her long blue legs around him, holding tight and kissing him hard and fast.

  “Did… I… do… it… right?” Jake managed to ask between kisses.

  “Yes, now shut up and mate with me!” she demanded.

  Jake took two steps out of the water onto the grassy shore and lowered Tesla on her back, his hard cock digging into her thigh. Almost immediately the girl rolled over, got on all fours and lifted her backside towards him.

  “Yes! Yes now!” she insisted in a plaintive moan.

  Jake wasn’t quite sure what the men of the 25th century did for foreplay, but he wasn’t about to let her go that easily. Gripping her by the hair Jake stroked her wet cunt from behind and she gave a shivering squeal of delight as he continued to slide in her slippery folds.

  “Wh-what are you… doing?” she asked in amazement.

  Jake c
huckled. Pushing her onto her back he continued to play her soft mound with his fingers while taking her little pert breasts in his mouth. Tesla gave a guttural yell of appreciation. Her tribe sure didn’t have much of a concept of modesty!

  “Yes! YES!” she wailed.

  Jake spread her thighs and positioned himself between her legs and tasted her salty sweetness.

  “What are you…? How can…? Oh by the starman I beg you, don’t stop!” she moaned.

  As Jacob skillfully tickled her mound with his tongue the barbarian princess began to let out a series of animal yells until she almost howled as she climaxed. Her entire body shook and she beat the ground with her fists, tearing patches of grass. She came so hard Jake was sure the mighty god Go-Go Juice heard it in soft drink heaven.

  Only then, when he’d thoroughly tamed the barbarian di Jake rise to slowly drive his straining cock inside her. She screamed in joy so loud that birds (each with four wings and bright purple) flew from the trees overhead.

  Find the rest in The Big Weird

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