by Zoe York
But it was still too soon to say that out loud.
With her body, though, she could say everything that needed to be spelled out. I’m going to miss you like crazy. I’ll think of you every minute of every day until I can hold you again. You’re the only man I can imagine myself being with for the rest of my life. Oh, God, this is scary.
She could say some of that out loud. But they didn’t need words. They had a connection that went deeper than that.
And he knew she loved him on a bone-deep level, always had and always would.
When she slowed her pace, holding him inside her longer so she could rub against him before rising again, he pushed himself up to sit, holding her in his lap, and they finished together in a sticky, grinding tangle.
Showering was bittersweet. She didn’t want to wash him off her body, but it wouldn’t be romantic once she left her bedroom smelling of sex. He scrubbed her back and she soaped up his chest, and they avoided talking about what came next.
The truth was, neither of them knew. Not the details. The broad strokes weren’t in question—she was his, and he was hers, and they’d figure it out.
They had time.
But that didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.
She let him drive to the airport. He looked good in her car. Big and capable, strong and handsome.
The tears started in her chest as they parked. That’s where they stayed, though, a hot, burning ball of sadness that she wasn’t letting out until he left. Not that he missed her growing sadness.
He squeezed her hand as they walked together to the departures area. Held her tight to his chest, even as the clock ticked toward the time when he’d have to let her go.
“What do we say, babe?”
How could he be this strong, when she just wanted to cling to him and cry? She swallowed hard and nodded. “I can’t wait to do it all over again.”
“That’s right. You’re my beautiful, smart, incredible best friend. And I’m counting down the days until I get to kiss you right…here.” He brushed his lips against the corner of her mouth. “And here,” he whispered, light as a feather against the other corner. “And definitely…” He hauled her against him, and kissed her until her head was spinning and her heart was full. “Right there.”
She grinned as he stepped back, and they exchanged a private laugh as he walked toward the security line.
I can’t wait to do it all over again. His words—now her words—rang loud and clear in her head as she watched him exchange a quick, respectful few words with the TSA agent, then snake through the line of travelers. And when he turned to give her one last wave before heading through to the departure area, she knew her heart might be leaving for California, but Logan had left his with her right there in Atlanta.
She pressed her hand to her chest, waved back, and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall until he was out of sight.
The walk back to her car was a blur. So was the time spent sitting in stunned silence.
But slowly, piece by piece, reality clicked back into place.
She had a boyfriend on the other side of the country. A mess of a previous relationship to clean up. A job to return to tomorrow morning.
And a pile of laundry to tackle at home.
First things first: she needed to make sure she had a clean t-shirt to wear the next day.
Then she’d find takeout for dinner and wait until Logan landed and gave her the heads up he was safe.
New normal. How hard could it be?
Logan’s new alarm went off, like clockwork, at four-thirty in the morning on Thursday. Day Four, he thought to himself.
It wasn’t getting easier. And it was early days yet, he knew that, but still. Fuck.
The darkness didn’t bother him. The early hour was fine. The problem was that when he called her, he’d have maybe five minutes before she had to head out the door. And then her next window to talk, on her lunch break, was invariably right in the middle of him receiving orders for the day. They had more time to talk in the evening, but she went to bed at his dinner hour.
Lots of couples don’t talk morning, noon and night. Sure. He got that. In theory.
In practice, he missed Tori more than he’d imagined possible. After years of repressing his feelings, now he was painfully aware of time ticking by.
On the other hand, she needed space to process the collapse of her engagement, and figure out how she wanted to move forward.
They would do this at her pace. Slowly, carefully.
Achingly.
He grabbed his phone and tapped on her name in his phone log.
A happy, dorky smile spilled across his face. He could feel it. It was huge.
“Morning,” she purred as she answered. “Or happy middle-of-the-night to you, my beloved freak.”
“Ah, I need to get a workout in before work, anyway.”
She laughed. “My hat is off to you.”
“And the weekend is around the corner,” he said, his voice husky. “Lots of time then for us to talk at length. Reminisce about how much we both like my head between your thighs, for example.”
“Mmm. Yes please.”
“And by the end of the day today, I should have my calendar, so we can plan a visit soon.”
She gasped, a happy inhale at the other end of the line. On the other side of the country. And then, unexpectedly, her voice cracked. “Really? I thought everything might be up in the air for a few weeks.”
He’d said that. Mostly to protect her and keep her expectations low. But now he was kicking himself, because of course she had complicated feelings about the distance too. “That’s sometimes how it goes with the military. I don’t ever want to get your hopes up. But things are looking good for us to be sticking around on base for the next month.”
“Oh, Logan.” Her breath wavered in his ear. “That’s wonderful news.” In the background, something dinged. “That’s my get-out-the-door alarm. I gotta go or I’ll be late. Talk more tonight?”
“Yep. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
And then she was gone.
He stretched out on his cool, empty bed and closed his eyes.
Love you, too.
Those three words would sustain him. They had to.
Chapter Fourteen
Four weeks later
Tori upgraded her seat on the flight to San Diego to business class. The legroom was nice, the glass of wine was lovely, but being able to get off the plane first? Worth all the pennies.
She’d packed light, only bringing a carryon bag, and she sprinted through the terminal. Exit, exit, where’s the—
There it was. The automatic doors whooshed open and on the other side was Logan. Tall, happy. Waiting for her.
She flew through the crowds and launched herself into his arms. Somehow he managed to grab her and her little suitcase, and kiss her soundly as well.
“Missed you so much,” she whispered against his mouth.
He kissed her again, harder.
He held her until she was breathless, and then he led her to his car, where he kissed her again. Slower. Hotter. A promise of more to come, just as soon as they were truly alone.
The last time she’d visited him, years ago, she’d stayed at a hotel and mostly played tourist. He’d moved twice since then, and she found herself quite nervous as he drove them through downtown San Diego toward the bridge to Coronado.
She didn’t actually know what Logan’s apartment looked like. What his life here looked like.
He glanced across the car at her and gave her a reassuring smile. “Tired?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”
“Nervous?”
“Yeah.” The truth just spilled out, no drama.
And his smile didn’t waver. “Me, too. This feels like a big deal.”
“Long distance is harder than I thought it would be,” she admitted. “So—”
The car in front of them slammed on the breaks, and
Logan slowed down quickly.
Tori took a deep breath and laughed nervously. “Concentrate on driving. We can talk later.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“I know you can do both.”
He laughed. “It’s fine, Tor. We’re almost there. I’ve got food to cook for dinner, and a bottle of wine. It’s all good.”
They were almost there, too. Ten minutes later, he parked in front of a low apartment building and ushered her up the stairs. “A lot of military guys live here. I got my apartment from a guy who moved out when he got married.” He stopped on the second floor and pointed to his door. “That’s my place. And it’s got some romantic good luck attached to it. The previous tenant? He fell in love with his next-door neighbor.”
“Aww, that’s really sweet,” Tori said.
Logan put his key in the deadbolt and turned, pushing the door open. “Come here. You’re sweet, and I want another taste.”
She laughed and stepped inside, but as soon as the door closed behind her, the laughing stopped, and the kissing resumed. He pushed her up against the wall, his hands in her hair, his mouth on her lips. “See? Sweet,” he groaned. “Let me show you how much I missed you.”
Everywhere he touched her burned. Everywhere he hadn’t yet touched her ached for the next lick of fire. She pulled at his clothes, needing him as much as he needed her.
He growled when he got her pants off and found her drenched, more than ready for him. “You want me to fuck you right here?”
She wrapped her hand around his erection and pulled them together, one of her legs wrapping high around his hips. “Yes. God damn it, yes.”
“Missed you,” he said again as he bent his knees, pushing up and into her as she braced back against the wall. “Love you. Need you. God, Tori. Yes. Just like—”
“Ah,” she breathed as he thrust into her again, taking up all the empty space she’d needed filled and then some. “Harder.”
“Fuck.”
It was guttural and crude, sexy and hot. His hands were hard on her hips, holding her in place as he moved into her, against her, pushing and grinding and thrusting. Over and over again.
Tori closed her eyes and gave herself over to the feeling. To the rolling waves of sensation, the building, tightening coil of arousal. Harder. Faster.
Fuck. Yes.
They’d made love a dozen ways in Miralinda, but they’d never fucked like this. This desperate, this raw.
“Logan,” she whispered, rolling her hips. Her clit was hard and swollen, her pussy pulsing with need. She was so close, she just needed a little more.
“I’ve got you.” He shifted his hands lower, to the curve of her ass and the top of her thighs. “Grind against me. Get yourself off on my cock.”
“Ahhh…” Her thigh shook in his hand and she threw her head back, eyes closed. She was full of him, thick and hard and throbbing, but still she squirmed closer, until there was no space between their bodies. Until he was all the way inside her.
Then it was the tiniest of movements. Her hips, back and forth. Her clit dragging up and down against his body.
All she could hear was their breath. Ragged, horny, shallow.
So. Close.
Tighter, faster, tinier movements.
And then it came, darkness imploding into light. Brilliant bursts of feeling, pure silence, followed by a rush—loud, chaotic—of blood through her ears.
Every cell in her body clenched down, then fluttered free, and Logan howled before thrusting two more times, finding his own rough release.
When she disentangled herself, when he carefully finished undressing her—because they hadn’t gotten all the way naked—she started laughing.
Light, happy giggles.
“Yeah,” he said. “I like that sound.”
“I’m a mess,” she whispered.
He grazed his fingers between her legs, finding her thighs slick with both of them. His gaze jerked back to her face, his expression delighted. “Yes, you are.”
“Give me the grand tour. Let’s start with the shower, maybe?”
After the shower, she pulled on one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties, and got the official, proper tour. It was a basic one-bedroom, so it took all of two minutes, and then they flopped out on his oversized couch to have a much overdue cuddle.
“I like your place,” Tori said drowsily.
Logan chuckled, his laugh vibrating through his chest and against her cheek. “That’s kind.”
“It’s cozy.”
“Hey, speaking of places…There’s something I want to show you.” He rearranged them so she was still on top of him, but he could reach his phone, which was sitting on the coffee table. He tapped in his password, opened an email, then handed it to her.
From: Will Parry
To: Logan Dwyer
Subject: We’re hiring
She blinked at the subject line. “Are the guys in Miralinda offering you a job? That’s good. That’s closer, anyway, although…do you want that? I thought—”
He gently closed his hand around hers, and scrolled down half a screen with his thumb. “Read the whole email.”
From: Will Parry
To: Logan Dwyer
Subject: We’re hiring
Hey, man. Hope all is well with you. It was great to catch up when you were on the island. I was hoping you could pass this email on to Victoria, because we’ve grown to the point where we need to hire an American accountant, and instead of outsourcing the financial tasks, we’d like to bring someone on to the team. A full job posting is attached. If she’s interested, she can call me at …
Tori blinked twice. The job offer wasn’t for Logan.
It was for her?
And it was in the opposite direction from Logan. No. She shook her head. “That’s very nice, but no. I’m not interested in. I don’t want to be further away from you, in a whole other country.”
“Fair enough. I’m really just the messenger. But if you want a change of scenery—”
“I want to be with you. Where you are.” The words rushed out of her, but as soon as she said them, she knew it was the truth.
“I want that, too. But I don’t want you to have to sacrifice your career for that.”
“Last time I looked, San Diego was a big city. There are probably lots of accounting jobs—” She wiggled her finger in the general direction of the mainland. “Right over there.”
“Sure. And if you want to apply for them, that would make me so fucking happy. But I’m never going to ask you to do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” He frowned. “Because it seems wrong.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem wrong to me.”
“Okay, then.”
“Okay.” She huffed a hot, frustrated breath. “Are we fighting?”
“No.” He sat up, levering her into a different position like she was a rag doll. “We’re just talking.”
It felt like more than that, but she couldn’t put her finger on how. “I don’t want to move further away from you,” she said for emphasis. “I miss you.”
Logan moved her again, so she was straddling his lap. She could feel a new erection. Definitely not fighting. “I don’t want to rush you into something serious.”
“You’re not rushing me. But we are serious, right? I mean, I know you love me, but…”
“No buts. I love you. Fully. Wholeheartedly, but I don’t want to pressure you, either. It’s a weird place to find a balance, I gotta say.”
“What would pressure look like?”
He rolled his head from side to side and groaned. “I don’t know.”
“Tell me.”
He looked back at her, his expression tight. “Pressure might be talking about marriage, for example. I don’t know how you’d feel about a ring down the road. A proposal. All that…stuff.”
“Oh.”
“I see an endless future with you, Tor,” he said quietly, his eyes locked on her face. “Getting
old together. Kids. However you want that, whenever you want that. If you want that.”
She swallowed hard. “Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you marry me?”
“In a heartbeat.” He smiled. So kind. So totally missing the point.
Her heart skipped a beat. “Is that a yes?”
His eyes went wide. “Wait, was that a—did you just propose to me?”
She nodded weakly.
“Tori…” He said her name reverently. “Are you serious? Now?”
Another nod. Her heart was pounding. “I don’t want to have a big engagement. Or a black tie wedding, either. How would you feel about getting away somewhere, at some point, and exchanging vows, just you and me and the sea?”
“Like the luckiest man in the world.”
“Because I want forever with you, too. I want to be your wife, I want to have kids, I want to find a bigger apartment than this, and decorate it for real, and a whole bunch of things that are all probably way too soon and way too much, but we’ve wasted so much time, Logan. I don’t want to waste a second more.”
Never in a million years could Logan have hoped for this. With a happy roar, he surged off the couch, holding Tori in his arms.
“You crazy man, you put me down,” she whispered, clinging to him tightly.
“Never.”
He carried her into his bedroom and deposited her on his bed. “We can go house hunting tomorrow.”
“I need a job first.”
“You’ll get one in a heartbeat. You’re perfect.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
He fell on top of her, giving in immediately to her glorious demand. Her, and him, and the sea. A bigger place. Kids, down the road.
A heady need tugged low inside him. Consummation of vows.
He’d carry her over a threshold, anywhere in the world, and they’d make the most beautiful babies together.
He could see that. A hazy image of a pregnant Tori flitted through his mind. A little boy that looked like him. A little girl with long dark hair racing into the ocean’s surf.
