Chapter Seven
Ten o’clock in the evening, The Hammond Family Cabin, Gilpin County, CO…
Lori woke to the sound of Kevin’s voice. She blinked her eyes as she looked around at her surroundings. The grain in the dark, rich walls of her family’s cabin looked like rivers of caramel from the fire which warmed the room.
She pushed herself up and pulled the comforter around her as she looked into the kitchen. Kevin had his back to her, but he was talking on his phone to someone who she guessed to be either Delores or Jake.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I left flares out, so it should be fine there until we get it out of there. Listen, I’m going to need you to call her sister. She’s probably worried sick. Just let her know that I’m with Lori and she’s okay. Oh, and I tried to check, but I’m not getting enough bandwidth. Are they still saying it’ll let up by morning?”
She pulled her knees up to her chest and watched as he picked up a cup of coffee to take a drink. The muscles of his back flexed and his broad shoulders gave her a chill. She’d missed him so much. Every inch of him was a part that she would never tire of. From the puffy scar he had on his right shoulder blade from a rescue made two years earlier on rocky terrain, to the search and rescue tattoo that decorated his left bicep. There wasn’t a place on his body that she didn’t love.
“Roger that. And please, make sure Delores goes home, will ya? I know she’s a tough old cookie, but damn, she puts in more hours than I do.”
He chuckled, and she realized it must have been Jake that he was talking with. He and the newest team member were the only paid active rescuers. The rest of their team worked on a completely voluntary and as needed basis.
His laughter always made her smile. His voice was deep, almost gravely at times, but when he laughed there was a childlike side to him that came out which only made her love him more.
He turned around and their eyes locked on one another. “Hey, man I gotta go. Princess is awake.”
She sighed in frustration. She'd always hated when he'd called her that. Sometimes it was meant in playful banter, but since their breakup, she'd come to hate the term.
It was no secret, even to herself, that she played a huge role in their months of being apart. She had acted like a spoiled brat. It hadn't been her intention, but her father had raised a little girl who was used to always getting her way. So when Kevin wanted her to grow up a little and own the consequences of her actions, she didn't exactly receive his criticism with open arms.
He set his phone down on the counter and took another sip of coffee while walking back into the great room. He was wearing a pair of boxers and nothing more. Despite this year being one of the coldest Colorado winters they’ve seen in awhile, his strong legs still bore the natural tan of his Italian heritage.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
"Alright, I guess. Achy, but not too bad.”
He nodded. “Want some coffee? Maybe some tea?”
He’d shut down on her again. She’d seen this stoic and detached demeanor of his too many times not to recognize it right away.
“I’m fine.”
“Well I’m making you something warm, and you’re gonna drink it. So you might as well tell me what you want.”
She hated how he could so easily turn off his emotions like this. “Fine. Tea then.”
He didn’t respond. He simply turned around and pulled a mug from the cabinet. She watched his every move, the way his body turned and twisted in almost robotic like function as he dropped the tea bag in the cup and lifted the kettle, pouring the hot water inside.
They were so different. He was hard and stubborn, while she was the helpless little rich girl that no one ever seemed to take seriously. Granted she knew that she’d probably earned that title more times than necessary. Still, she wished people could see past what she once was and give her a chance to show off the newer, more mature Lori.
“How’s your head feel?”
She hadn’t really noticed until he asked, but there was an annoying headache forming just behind her eyes. She lifted her fingers to her forehead and winced at the tenderness of what was obviously a cut.
“Umm… yeah, I think so. It just hurts a little.”
“I’ll bet. It’s probably going to leave a little scar, but I cleaned it up with a warm and soapy cloth while you were sleeping.
“Thank you.”
“Here.” Kevin leaned down and handed her the mug.
“Thanks again.” The small smile she offered didn’t last when he didn’t return the gesture.
He sat on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees before saying, “Do you mind telling me just what in the hell were you thinking?”
The warmth from her drink didn’t do much due to the waves of ice come off of Kevin. He was angry with her. She’d think that by now she’d be used to his disappointment in her actions, but each time that he did, it still managed to hurt just the same.
“Wait.” He held up his hand to silence her. “I think I know the answer to this one already.”
She sighed and blew on her tea before taking a sip. She knew exactly what was coming and wasn’t quite sure why he bothered asking her the question so often when all he’d do was answer for her anyway.
“Kevin –.”
“Nope. Don’t, Lori.”
“Don’t what? I haven’t even said anything yet.”
“Maybe not. But you sure as hell did a lot, didn’t ya?”
“I know you’re upset, Kevin. If you’d just let me explain –.”
"Explain what? Are you going to explain why you went out in blizzard conditions when everyone in the damn county got the memo that we were on a winter storm warning advisory conditions? Or are you going to explain how you put yourself in danger, forcing me to come find you?"
“Kevin, I’m sorry. I am. And I’m very grateful that you came and found me. I…” Her voice trailed off when she saw her clothes piled up on the floor. She was suddenly very aware of her nakedness.
“You were saying?”
“I…” She didn’t remember getting undressed earlier, though she did vaguely recall waking up with him on top of her. At the time she’d thought she might be dreaming, but now she wasn’t so sure. “Did we have sex?”
He raised his brows at her question. “Did we have sex? What the hell kind of question is that?”
“I don’t remember.”
He shook his head. “Trust me, babe. If you and I had sex. You’d remember.”
The fire in his deep blue eyes returned for a brief moment. She knew he was right. When it came to them making love, it was never boring or typical. Together they shared a deep physical connection that made every time seem like the first.
“Right.” She nodded. "It's just… well, I'm naked and you're nearly naked."
“Yeah.” He set his coffee cup down on the side table. “Your clothes were soaked from lying in the snow and I needed to use my body heat to warm you up.”
Taking a sip of her tea, she eyed him speculatively. If she could read his mind and know exactly what was going on in his stubborn mind then maybe she’d get him to calm down long enough for them to talk things through.
“No comment?” he asked.
“I’m not really sure what to say.”
“Oh geez, I don’t know. How about, I’m sorry. How about, I know I keep repeating the same pattern, but I’m really not trying to drive you insane. Or how about, I’m just a giant pain in the ass, Kevin, and I can’t really help myself from continually driving you fucking crazy!”
“You’re mad.”
“Mad?” he let out a bitter laugh. “No, Lori. I was mad when you accused me of cheating that time you saw me in town with that nice lady who just needed someone to talk to after losing her husband. I was mad at you when you tried to make me jealous by flirting with that complete idiot Bobby Jenkins. I was mad when you constantly nagged me for not spending enough time with you when I was working. But this, Lori… this isn’t m
ad. You’ve seen me mad. This time I’m fucking furious.”
“Okay, yes. I’ll admit it. Those were all very stupid things to do, and if I may remind you that those all happened over two years ago. I’ve grown up a lot since then.”
Kevin choked on his coffee and began laughing. Though she was certain it wasn’t from him actually feeling happy. The look in his eyes told her she was about to get the monster of all lectures.
“Grown up? You think you’ve grown up? Are you serious?”
“Kevin, I –.”
“Don’t say a word. Not a single word. I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”
And, here it comes…
"You slid off the road tonight, Lori! Your SUV went down an embankment for crying out loud! You could have been killed. How do you not see that? So, unless you're going to tell me that you were trying to save children or a box full of kittens, I don't want to hear what your reasons were for being so incredibly irresponsible with not only your safety but other people as well."
“I know. And I really am sorry.”
“Right.” He nodded. “You’re sorry. You’re always sorry, Lori. But those words lose their meaning after hearing them a couple of hundred times.”
“If you’d stop being so stubborn and just let me talk I could explain to you what I was doing –.”
“I’m stubborn? Me?”
“Yes you. You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met!”
“That’s rich coming from the woman who has been emailing me, calling me, texting me, all while I said we needed some time apart for you to grow up.”
“Needed some time apart? You never told me that! You broke things off. Finished. Done. You just walked away like it was over.”
“It was implied.” He bit back a snarky response.
Lori’s blood was beginning to boil. Had he actually ever said those words to her she might not have spent the last six months going crazy with regret and sadness.
“Implied? It was implied?”
"That's what I said. But of course, you never listen to me, so –."
“Now wait just a minute, Kevin!” she held up her hand to quiet him when he was about to interrupt. “No, this time you’re listening to me.”
He crossed his arms and raised a curious brow. “Fine. I’m listening. Let’s hear what you have to say.”
“You’re right. I never listened to you. I was a pain in the ass probably fifty percent of the time.”
“I’d say more like seventy-five, but go on.”
She glared at him. “Fine. Seventy-five. I’ll agree to that. I was immature. I know this. But at least I’m willing to admit that. You, on the other hand, are stubborn and you can be a jackass some of the time.”
“Oh, I’m a jackass now?”
“Yep.” She replied.
“Yeah, well this jackass saved your life last night. So… yeah. There’s that.”
“Ugh.” She dropped her head into her hands and raked her fingers through her hair before looking back up at him. “Kevin, why do we have to fight like this? This isn’t what I wanted.”
“You think I wanted this?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know what you want anymore. It used to be me. Or at least I thought it was, but when you broke up with me…” she forced the tears to stay away while mustering up the courage to keep talking. “… it hurt, Kevin. It hurt so damn bad. You flip my world upside down. You tore my heart out.”
"Stop," Kevin ordered. “Don’t do this. You don’t get to pull this card. Not now. Not yet.”
“I’m not pulling anything.”
“You don’t think I can see those tears ready to fall? You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”
“Have you ever considered that I’m not pulling anything and when I cry it’s actually genuine?” Her resolve betrayed her as she blinked to reveal two delicate tears streak down her cheeks.
“I know that, okay? But, it doesn’t make it any easier to see you sad.”
"Well, what did you think was going to happen when you broke things off? Did you think I'd just go on with my life as if nothing had even happened? I might have been a few months shy of my twentieth birthday when we first met, but I will still young in so many ways. I'd never had a boyfriend like you before. I'd dated in town. You knew that. But, no one ever mattered the way you did."
“The way I did?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Kevin, you were my first. My everything. When you took that away, I felt like I had nothing else.”
"Don't you see, though? That's exactly why I had to end things. I know that I'm six years older than you, but I was always taught that women were light years more mature than men. So when I met you and saw all the things you did, I just didn't understand it."
“It wasn’t all bad, Kevin.”
"No." he shook his head. "You're right. It wasn't. But that didn't change the fact that some of it had been. There were times you became controlling and nagging to the point that I was afraid to even see you because I didn't know what was going to set you off the next time."
“I was a brat. I know that now.”
“Do you? I mean really, do you?”
“Yes. I’ve done a lot of thinking since our break up. I’ve grown up more than you realize.”
“Then explain all this? Why did you go out in this weather?”
She looked down, too embarrassed to admit that the answer to that very question would disprove just how much she has grown up.
“No answer?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Not a good one anyway.”
“Exactly. That’s what I’m talking about. You were foolish and reckless. You could have gotten seriously hurt. You could have died!”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, Kevin I do. But that should tell you how desperate I was. At the very least it should tell you my state of mind. It’s not exactly easy to continue on with daily life, going to class, studying, trying to focus on being a better person, all the while you’re in agony over losing the man that you love. Do you have any idea how hard that is?”
“Not really. I’ve never been in love with a man. Now, a pain in the ass girlfriend… that I can relate to.”
His sexy smirk made it impossible to not smile. She had always been weak to his rugged good looks and his handsome grin.
“Look, I never wanted to hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted.”
“Then what did you want, Kevin? Because we were in love. I know that part was real.”
“It was all real.”
“Then why? Why did you do it?”
“I did it because it was all real. Lori, you could be the sweetest, sexiest and most caring woman at times. But then there were those other times that you acted like a spoiled brat. You'd nag me about my work taking up too much of my time, even though you knew it was not only important to me but important to this county."
“I understand. You’re right.”
“I’m not sure that you do, because I tried several times to explain it to you, and you wouldn’t hear any of it. Do you have any idea how many people pass through our not so cozy neck of the woods? The casinos alone brought over six million to our county. And despite all those taxes, very little of it goes to the search and rescue team. If it wasn’t for donations and continuous fundraising efforts that Delores puts together, we might not have half of the equipment we need to help people. This is the Rocky Mountains, babe. Take out the gamblers and we still have millions coming to Colorado just to explore our peaks and valleys. And you know how important what I do is to me. I don't know why, but helping people is in my blood. It's who I am. So can you just try and imagine how hard it is for me to do the kind of searches that we do when some of them don't always end well, and then come home to hear you nagging me because I didn't call, or I missed movie night? It got to the point it wasn't just annoying, but it was starting to piss me off."
Regret filled her. “You never tol
d me that before.”
“I told you plenty of times.”
“No, Kevin. You didn’t. You’d get mad, you’d yell and you’d storm off, but rarely would you tell me exactly what you were mad about. Granted, I should’ve known. The way I behaved wasn’t something I was proud of. And believe me when I say, I am very aware that my daddy raised a spoiled brat. But, you have to know that I never meant to be that way.”
“That I do know.” He rubbed at the stubble on his chin. “And you know… now that you said that, I can see where you’re right. I never did tell you all of that.”
“Maybe you’re growing up too.” She teased.
“Don’t start getting all cocky.” He smirked. “I’m still mad at you. What you did today was stupid. When I heard that it was your SUV that went off the road I felt the life drain from me. You have no idea what the thought of losing you felt like.”
“Don’t I? I lost you remember?”
“You never lost me.”
“Kevin, you ended things with me after three years of being together. You refused my calls. You ignored my text messages. You broke my heart.”
He shook his head and let out a big sigh. “I just wanted you to grow up. To start listening and respecting me the same way I did you. I took time off of work when your father died. I was there for you whenever you needed something from me. I always tried to do whatever you made you happy. There truly was nothing I wouldn’t have done for you. But, when the one thing you kept asking was for me to stop working so much, it sucked. It sucked giant ass monkey balls.”
“I didn’t really need the visual, but okay.” She teased.
“Honey, I don’t know why my work is so important to me. It’s a part of who I am. I can’t ever stop just because you want my attention or are feeling neglected. When there are people out there lost, trapped or within inches of their life, sometimes our team is the only one who can save them.”
“I know.” She shook her head. “I just didn’t realize I was that bad.”
Kevin slid down to the floor and knelt in front of her. “It’s not that you are a bad person. You’re an amazing person. But sometimes, sometimes I just wanted to bend you over my knee and spank you until you quit your griping.”
Whispers of Winter: A Limited Edition Collection of Winter Romances Page 3
