Whispers of Winter: A Limited Edition Collection of Winter Romances

by Nicole Morgan

  I knelt in front of her. “Jesi!” I put my hand on her belly and stared up at her face. “Oh, God. Jesi, please. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to – I’m so sorry.” She blew air out through pursed lips and I felt an urgent sense of fear overwhelm me.

  “Peyton,” Jesi said, placing her hands on top of mine. “Peyton, it’s okay.” She slowly stood up straight, continuing the pattern breathing – in through her nose and out through pursed lips. “The baby just kicked a field goal with my kidney. That’s all. I guess he doesn’t like us fighting.”

  I put one hand on each side of her belly and talked directly to the baby taking residence in my best friend’s body. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to fight with your mommy. She’s a good mommy. She takes good care of me and she is going to take wonderful care of you. Just you wait. You’re going to love her so much.”

  “Ouch!” Jesi chirped, putting her hand on her belly once again.

  I popped to a standing position. “Holy hell!” My voice sounded panicked. “You’re in labor! Are you in labor?”

  Jesi snickered. “No. I’m not in labor. I guess he just likes your voice.” She grabbed my hand on put it on her stomach. “Here, feel. Say something.”

  “You want me to talk to your belly? Why? What’s going to –” Before I could finish my thought, I felt the baby thump against my palm – a kick. He kicked. He really does like my voice. “I felt that.”

  “See,” Jesi said. “He likes you. Now…” She wrapped her fingers around my wrist and pulled me along, quickly moving from the pantry. “You’ve won the little guy over.” She pulled me to stand beside her in the entryway near the dining room. “Let’s see what you can do with the big one.”

  I stood and watched Austin with Angela. The way he talked to her, held her hand and played with her to make her smile. It reminded me of Jesi’s family.

  “He’s a good man,” Jesi whispered in my ear. I scoffed. “I’m serious. You can see it by how he is with her. Kids know. They are very good judges of character. And that little girl looks at him with love and admiration in her eyes. Don’t let one silly misunderstanding change the way you feel about him.”

  “What do you mean? The way I feel about him?” I folded my arms, taking a defensive stance. I don’t feel anything for him.” How does she know what I feel for him? I didn’t tell her that I liked him, did I?

  “The humming? Remember?” She smiled. “You were breaking out in song just from thinking about him. That’s nothing to be ignored, Peyton.”

  “I don’t know, Jes. I’m not the kind of girl that he’s used to.” I can’t compete with the swoon girls. They are so beautiful. So perfect. And I’m so broken.

  “Did you ever think that maybe that’s a good thing, honey? Maybe that’s why he likes you so much – because you’re different. You’re not a carbon copy of all those other girls that usually chase after him.”

  “I didn’t chase after him.” There was no way I was going to chase him. I’m not like those other girls. He doesn’t really want me. A young man walked up to Austin and asked for an autograph. Austin smiled, signed the notebook for him, and shook his hand. He’s so gracious and kind to everyone.

  “Exactly.” Jesi stood with me as I watched Austin and Angela for a few more minutes. Finally, she nudged me with her still pointy elbow. “Now stop stalling. Go talk to him. Invite him back after closing. Seduce him with your food. He’ll be yours forever.” She kissed my temple and turned to walk into the kitchen. I’ll go, but I’m not doing all that.

  I took a deep breath and balled my fists at my side. I can do this. Austin ran his hand though his hair. Who the hell am I kidding? I can’t do this. I turned to see Jesi standing in the kitchen, waiting to see what I was going to do. She motioned for me to go. Dammit.

  Turning back toward the dining room, I locked my eyes on Austin and Angela and leaned into the first step. I’m doing this. Moving forward, I counted the number of steps until I reached his table. When I arrived, I stood tall and rigid like a tin soldier.

  “Seventeen” I whispered. Shit. Didn’t mean to say that outload.

  “What?” he said. He turned in his seat to face me more directly. “Did you say something?”

  “No, nothing,” I lied. “I just wanted to come over and apologize for running off so quickly before. The whole situation just caught me off guard and I had to get away and clear my head. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” said Angela. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I was worried you were mad at me.”

  “Oh, no,” I looked at Angela, doing my best to relax, hoping to convey my sincerity. “I wasn’t mad – and especially not mad at you. Just confused.”

  Austin stood from his seat. He was close enough for me to reach out and touch him. But I didn’t. “I’m sorry, too,” he said. He looked at me with those beautiful eyes. “I never wanted to upset you. I hope you know that.” I nodded. It’s all I could do. If I spoke I would have said something ridiculous like blurted out a marriage proposal or asked him to put a baby inside me. He ran his hand down my arm. I swear I felt the heat from his hand through my sleeve and it gave me a chill.

  Austin and I just stood and stared at each other for moment. Angela giggled and covered her face with her notebook. Say something, dammit. I didn’t. Ask him out. I didn’t. Invite him over so you can seduce him with your food. I didn’t.

  “So,” Austin finally broke the silence. “Will I see you at the coffee shop on Thursday?” I nodded. “Good. It’s a date.” Austin leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. Angela giggled again, and Austin looked at her, scrunching his brow. “I look forward to it. But for now, someone has homework. I nodded. If I can’t get my shit together, I think he’d be better off with one of the swoon girls.

  As I watched Austin escort his niece out the door, the reality of the situation just hit me. I think we just made a date to meet at the coffee shop. He wants to meet me there. And he just kissed me. I felt the panic return.

  There are thirty-nine steps from the front table to the kitchen sink.

  Chapter Nine

  I counted the days until my next rehab appointment. We had made a date to meet at the coffee shop for our post PT party. I was happy. I was excited. I was motivated. But then I saw him.

  Walking down the hall toward the main rehab room I caught sight of Austin. He looked so handsome. Dressed in a tight grey t-shirt and black shorts. But it was his accessories that I didn’t care for. The blonde with the barely-there tank top hanging off his right arm and the brunette with the low cut “can you see my cleavage” blouse hanging off his left. And to make it an absolute perfect situation, two people were snapping pictures with their cell phones. Great. Forever in my mind and forever on the fucking internet. My stomach started to hurt, cramp, knot. I had to get out of there.

  I kept my head down and counted the tiles on the floor each time my foot landed. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. I don’t know if Austin saw me walking by. At that point, I didn’t care. I was done thinking I had a chance. I pushed open the door to the locker room, grabbed my bag from my assigned metal box, and made my way to the changing stall. Fortunately, today I was alone. I was so stupid. Why would he ever be interested in me? That kiss didn’t mean anything. What the hell was I thinking?

  I tried to tell myself that it was a good thing I saw him with the swoon girls. It reminded me that I’m not the kind of girl he wants. I am not the kind of girl that he desires. I am not the kind of girl that ends up with guys like him. I spotted Dennis and made my way across the room. He must have felt my frustration.

  “You okay?” he asked. He put his hand on my shoulder, leaning his face down, attempting to look me in the eye. I looked to the side, doing my best to avoid making eye contact.

  “I’m fine,” I snapped. “Let’s just do this. Can I warm up on the bike today?”

  “Sure,” he said. He took a step back and tapped on the screen of his tablet. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up to you when you’re done.” I bar
ely waited for him to finish his sentence before turning to walk toward the stationary bikes at the other end of the room.

  After sliding onto the seat, the machine beeped as I pushed the button to level five and set the timer for fifteen minutes. I quickly began peddling.

  One, two, three, four, five ... I cleared my mind and let the numbers do their job. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten ... counting helped me center, allowed me to gain a sense of control. Eleven, twelve, thirteen...

  Austin stood in front of me, holding out a tray. “May I sit?” He asked. His voice was soft, and sweet. It almost made me forget what a giant ass he was. I looked up at him. He looked adorable wearing a Jayne hat. I covered my mouth to hide my smile. He’s a Firefly fan? Seriously? Could he be any more perfect?

  “What’s that?” I lifted my chin slightly and motioned to the tray. He looked down, seeming to examine the trays’ contents.

  “Two waters, a pot of chai tea, two coffee mugs, and two chocolate brownies.” He looked up at me and smiled. “So,” he said, “you never answered me. May I sit?”

  “Sure.” I offered a generic response, hoping to hide how hurt I really felt. “Go ahead.” I repositioned myself in the large armchair, placing a fluffy brown pillow on my lap. I stayed silent as Austin removed the items from the tray, gently placing them on the table and placed the tray on a nearby empty table. Sitting down in the armchair beside me, he pulled off the colorful hat and tucked it beside him before running his hand through his hair.

  “I know they’re probably not as good as the ones from Infusion,” he said. “But Angela told me how you gave her a brownie to make her smile. I thought I’d try the same.”

  “Thank you, I said.” Don’t do it. Don’t fall for it. I wanted to keep my guard up, to not let his charm win me over yet again. I was failing. Badly. He was a great guy, and I did really like him. But I wasn’t stupid. I knew this was never going to work.

  “I haven’t seen or talked to you since that day at your shop.” Austin slowly pushed a small white plate with a very large chocolate brownie across the table toward me. “A little part of me was worried you wouldn’t show up today.”

  “I’m here. And sorry to make you worry. I didn’t mean to.” I dipped my finger into the chocolate frosting on top of the brownie and sucked it off. “Really. And thanks for the brownie.”

  “Um, yes.” Austin stared at my mouth, licking his lips. I grinned, realizing my unintentional tease with the frosting. “It’s, uh, my pleasure.” He cleared his throat as he poured tea from the yellow teapot into a white mug, placing it in front me next to the plate. He poured the rest into a red mug, picked it up, and took a sip as he sat back in his chair.

  “I saw you today,” he said. “Trying to sneak by in the hallway.”

  “Oh,” I said, embarrassed. I picked up the mug. “You saw that?” I suddenly felt silly for thinking I got away with any type of stealth.

  “Yes. I did. But I figured since you were sneaking by you didn’t want to talk so I didn’t say anything.”

  “Good guess.” I interlaced my fingers on the back side of my mug, allowing the heat to warm my fingers.

  “Can I ask why you didn’t want to talk to me?” Austin looked at me with a great deal of interest. I wonder if this has been eating at him all morning. Austin averted his eyes and picked up his brownie. On the plate the brownie looked huge. In his hands, it looked like an average sized brownie. He has big hands. I took a deep breath. “Is there a reason you were avoiding me?”

  Honestly, bimbo number one and bimbo number two. “Just the company you were keeping,” I said. I kept the bimbo thoughts to myself. “I didn’t seem to fit into that whole picture. I’m not quite as, um, blessed as they are.”

  Austin scoffed, nearly choking on his brownie. He took a drink of his water. “Peyton, is that why? Those girls that were there?”

  “Yes. Those girls,” I said with conviction. “It may sound shallow, but it bothered me. And if I’m being honest,” I gently placed my mug on the table, “I don’t think this is going to work – you and me, whatever this is, or we want it to be, or I want it to be, well, whatever. We can kid ourselves all we want, but it’s just not. I’m sorry.”

  “Why not?” Austin scooted to the edge of the seat and leaned forward. “We have a great time whenever we’re together. You like me. I like you. Why do you say it’s not going to work?”

  “Because, Austin,” I felt the emotions creeping up inside with each word. “I’m just a plain Jane and you’re always going to have those young, big-boobed swoon girls hanging off your arms. I can’t compete with them.”

  Austin chuckled. “I don’t want you to compete with them.”

  “Good, ‘cause I can’t, and I won’t.” I hugged the pillow on my lap a little tighter.

  “Good, 'cause you’re a thousand times better than they could ever be.” I paused, searching his face for indication of his intention. Is he just trying to make me feel better? Just saying what he thinks I want to hear? All I could see was his beautiful, sincere eyes and that damn smile. “Besides,” he said. “After we were done, I told my manager I was finished with all those kind of media shots.” He met my gaze, looking into my needs, my wants, my fears. “And I told the girls not to come around anymore.”

  I laughed. Loud and full. “Right. Okay, sure.” I picked up my water and took a drink. “You told those hot, beautiful women to not come around anymore.” I covered my mouth and laughed again. “Okay. And tomorrow I’m going on a date with Jensen Ackles. He’s picking me up in the Impala.”

  “No, seriously,” he said. “I did. I told them that I was sort of seeing someone new.” My ears got warm and I put my hand on my chest, knowing it would soon turn red. It always turned red after my ears got warm. Dammit! “And do I need to have a talk with the Jensen guy? I will. I’m willing to fight for you.”

  I covered my face, laughing. “No, it’s okay. I’m not really going … never mind.” The thought of Austin Mathey and Jensen Ackles fighting over me was a little too hot to handle. Thinking about that for too long would result in needing a cold shower. “So, how’s Angela?” I said, transitioning to a new topic. It wasn’t smooth, but it worked. Austin leaned back in his chair and joined in on my laughter. It worked so I decided to stay with it.

  As Austin began to answer, I thought about what he had just said. No more media shots. No more girls following him around. And he told them he was seeing someone. I was overwhelmed. I got up from my seat and stood in front of him. Bending down, I placed one hand on each side of his face and kissed him. I softly pressed my lips to his, kissing him gently several times before moving back to my seat and returned to the pillow to the place on my lap. I could see by the look on his face that he was shocked but pleased.

  “So,” I said, picking up the plate with my gigantic brownie. “You were saying?”

  He stared at me for a moment; a big smile covered his face. “I have no idea,” he said, chuckling. “Your kiss made me forget.” I laughed, pleased with myself.

  “I asked how Angela was doing.” I broke off a piece of the brownie and popped it in my mouth. Hmm. Not bad. They’re not Jesi’s. But not bad.

  “She’s good,” Austin said, still grinning. “She adores you.” I smiled.

  “I adore her, too.” I tore off another piece of the brownie. “Is she still planning on coming to hang out with me on Saturday?”

  “Um, no,” he said. His voice changed. His tone was low and slow, filled with disappointment and sadness. “No, I’m sorry. There’s been a change of plans. She’s leaving tomorrow to go spend some time with her grandparents – her father’s parents. They haven’t seen her in a while.” As he spoke I could see the pain on his face. He looked down and played with the seam on the bottom of his shirt. “We talked and found a way for her to stay with them for a few weeks, spend the holidays there.” He looked up at me and smiled. It wasn’t his usual beautiful radiant smile. It looked forced. “She does online schooling, so she can
do it from anywhere. Just as easy to do it with them as it is with me. Plus, she’ll get to meet some of her cousins. It will be good for her.” I wasn’t sure if he was trying to tell me about it or convince himself.

  “What about you? Won’t you be lonely without her?” I can keep you company if you get lonely.

  “Of course, I will.” He hung his head a little. “She’s been with me since she was tiny. We’ve spent every holiday season together. I’ll miss her.” He let out a deep sigh. “But it’s not fair of me to keep her all to myself. It’s selfish. She has other family and they love her too.” Handsome. Hot. Talented. And sweet. Are you for real?

  I tucked the pillow behind me, leaned forward, and gently touched his arm. Austin lifted his head, looking me in the eyes. Damn. Those eyes. He could have me completely if he keeps looking at me like that.

  “Would you be...I was hoping that I could...the thing is that I wanted to ask if you’d want to, or if you would like to join me for dinner?” Adorable. It was so cute to watch him stumble over his words. The corners of my mouth turned up, but I tried not to laugh. “Like, a real date,” he said, smiling.

  “I would love to,” I said, releasing him from his emotional torture. How can such a big, strong, confident man be so nervous asking for a date? He’s dated super models for fuck’s sake! Why’s he’s fumbling asking me out?

  “Really? Okay, great.” His eyes widened, and his smile broadened. “That’s great. Um, how does Saturday, at seven o’clock sound? I’ll pick you up and we’ll go somewhere nice. It will be fun. I promise.”

  “Austin,” I hated to break his excitement. “You don’t need to take me anywhere fancy or exciting. I’m happy with anything really. There’s no need to try to impress me. I promise. I’ll just be happy spending time with you.”

  Chapter Ten