Inhale, Exhale
Page 40
That single night.
The one that changed it all.
My forehead beads with sweat, my stomach concaving with the possibilities. No. She wouldn’t keep that from me. Even with our past in the air, our pain on repeat, our friendship gone... she wouldn’t keep a child—my child, if that’s the case—away from me.
Right?
She feeds little pieces of a bagel to him, her eyes lighting up as he smiles and giggles. Her eyes, the ones I’ve loved for years, gaze at him as if he created the earth itself. Maybe he did. Maybe he’s godly and ethereal. Maybe by some chance, he’s a miracle. Our miracle.
I forget about my coffee on the ground, and my steps become more frantic, almost as if I need to get to her quickly. The breath of coffee I inhale on my pursuit reminds me of all the mornings we spent together, enjoying a cup of joe and pastries for her sweet tooth before we’d go for a run.
Then the pain comes, right after the memories fade.
I’m only six feet from her table, five steps tops to get to her, to demand answers, but before I make it, a hand on my chest stops my pursuit, halting me immediately. I turn to the person stopping me, and my glare is met with lustrous fiery almond eyes.
My heart drops further, if possible, striking me in another place that hasn’t felt in so long.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Acknowledgements
This is generally as hard as writing the blurb itself. I always miss someone, but let’s see if I can do it right the first time.
Matthew, my love, my other half, my light. If not for you, I wouldn’t have survived this book. You held me while I bawled, when I shut down from being overwhelmed so much, and pushed me through the worst depression of my life. Without you, I can’t imagine this book coming to fruition.
Helen, my best friend and shoulder to bitch and cry on. This book was halted on so many occasions because of doubt, anxiety, and how hard it was to write. You always talked me through it and was there for me when Matt couldn’t be. Without you, this book would have been indefinitely put on pause.
Grandma, I don’t even know how to word this without crying. I wrote my dedication for you, and now, tears stream my face. You were the mom I always wanted, raising me when you didn’t have to, being everything a daughter could ask for. It took me years to be able to say your name, talk about you, and cherish our good memories. This book was meant to heal those broken pieces that you created by leaving. When I scattered your ashes in the ocean where Matt and I got married, it was the first time I felt peace. It’s another reason I could complete this book. For once, I felt at peace. Fighting for years just to have your ashes and set you free ate away at me. Now, we’re both free. I love you for teaching me how to live, for teaching me how to fight for myself, and for always believing in me and my dreams. I miss you.
Selena, my writing bae, my ho, one of my bestest friends. I admire you, our friendship, and how hard you push me to write. Yeah, we slack a lot, too, but we also motivate each other and understand one another on a very unique level. I love you, bro. To the next one!
Dimples, you have been the insane kind of cheerleader I never knew I needed. You’ve cheered me on since we met, and crazy enough, this book is one of the things that brought us together. You’ve pushed me to complete it, to keep working toward their end, and you’ve been the best kind of friend I could have asked for. I appreciate you, and I’ll get to your boys soon.
My betas, Mari, G, Cali, Ofa, and Michelle, I hurt y’all a lot with this book, I know. You all told me so many times on various occasions, but because you wouldn’t let me give up on these two broken people, I didn’t. You went through hell and back while I wrote this book. We all cried together and experienced pain and love on levels unsurmountable, but we made it. We did the damn thing. Thank you.
Cali, you will always be my twin. You helped me write Nora’s ending, and it has stuck with me since that discussion.
Michelle, you are my Harley, my confidante and cheerleader. I appreciate you more than words.
Sam and Lana, you’ve both been such bright lights and motivators. Without you, I couldn’t imagine smiling. I love you both more than words. Keep shining your light.
Jessi, girl. You were the first person to read the second idea of this book before it had a title, before Toby was Toby, before I knew where this book would take me. You helped me grow so much. You always do, and for that, I’ll be forever grateful. The book has changed so much since we first started, and insanely enough, it couldn’t have happened without your push. Thank you for always being here, for being my friend throughout all these years, and for staying.
Nicole. Dude. You are seriously the best part of this career. Since the beginning, you’ve helped me edit my books, worked your ass off, and supported me in everything. You even have patience with me, which is a blessing. I’m slow.
Dege, you are one of my first friends. You’ve helped and supported me since the beginning, too. You never cease to make my interiors gorgeous, and even when we met, and I adopted you as an author, I’ve loved seeing you grow. You amaze me.
There are so many authors I want to thank who may never even see this, but they always fight for me, cheer me on, and keep me going. Giana, Leigh, Charles, Len, Michelle, Nat, Cali, Megan, Amo, Donna, Nicole, Sam, Lana, Alexis, Nadège, and so many more, your friendship means everything. It pushes me to work harder and strive to be better. I love and appreciate you all.
To my readers, for waiting so damn long for this, for having patience and excitement, for just being you and loving my writing, thank you. I couldn’t have accomplished this without you.
To all the bloggers who have spread the word, for helping me and being awesome, thank you!
And finally to you, if this is your first book of mine, hello! If it’s not, welcome back, and I hope you can forgive me for the pain you felt reading inhale, exhale.
But as always, love, no hugs, and a lot of tacos!
Other Works by C.L. Matthews
Firsts (Cape Hill #1)
Lasts (Cape Hill #2)
Always (Cape Hill #3)
The Dating Games: Author Edition
Welcome to Cape Hill (Cape Hill Vipers #1)
Thou Shall Not: A Dark Ten Commandments Anthology
Coming Soon
Something Wicked: A Villain Anthology (September 30th)
Forevers (Cape Hill #4)
Tragedy (Cape Hill #5) - FREE Newsletter Story
Breathe (Hollow Ridge #2)
And as always, if you want to follow me, I welcome y’all with open arms!
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