Amanda Lester and the Red Spider Rumpus

by Paula Berinstein

  “Mr. Moriarty.” The teacher spat out his name as if it were a vile thing. “What do you think you are doing here?”

  Nick wasn’t cowed. “I have a lot to offer.” No “I want to be a detective” or “I’ve reformed” or anything like that. He was all business, as hard as the teachers. Amanda was immensely proud of him.

  Professor Feeney sneered. “Is that so? Why the largesse all of a sudden?”

  Nick refused to sink to her level. “I think you know, Professor, that I have made a simple business deal with Legatum. Win-win.”

  Professor Feeney harrumphed. “That remains to be seen.” She stalked around and eyed him from all angles, but he stared straight ahead. “I understand you filed a suit to divorce your father.”

  “He isn’t my father,” said Nick calmly.

  “Yes, lucky that,” said the teacher. “All the same, you did file the suit?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” His voice was clear and steady.

  “Why?”

  Nick didn’t flinch. “He beat me, Professor.” The class gasped. Amphora covered her mouth. “Dr. Wing will verify that. Just ask her.”

  “And your mother knew about this?” said the teacher.

  “She tried to stop him,” said Nick.

  Professor Feeney brought her face close to his. “You are telling me a violent criminal like Mavis Moriarty tried to stop her husband from beating you? Isn’t that de rigeur in a family such as yours?”

  This insult made Amanda’s blood boil. She was beginning to see that criminals were just as complex as other people and you couldn’t paint them with a single brush. She resolved to do her own study to see what they were really like. In fact, she might even make a film on the topic. She wished Darius were alive. He’d love the idea.

  Nick kept his composure. “My mum and dad were quite different from each other. She was a good person.”

  “Ha!” said Professor Feeney. “Your mother was a murderer. She killed your real father in cold blood, and yet you defend her?”

  That rattled him a little. He hesitated. “I can’t explain that, ma’am.”

  “I’ll bet you can’t,” said the teacher.

  Amanda was tempted to defend Nick, but she realized she might harm him instead so she bit her tongue. She was incensed at Professor Feeney though. There were ways to do things and ways not to do them. Feeney was enjoying Nick’s pain way too much.

  “Why the sudden conversion?” said Professor Feeney.

  Nick looked the teacher in the eye. “I know it looks sudden to you and you probably think it was because of my mum’s death, but I’d actually been thinking this way for a long time.”

  Several people shook their heads. Amanda just about choked. He’d never told her that.

  “Do tell,” said Professor Feeney. “Would you care to enlighten us?”

  “I would,” said Nick proudly. “I’m not an idiot. I could see that the life my father was leading was not only wrong but counterproductive.”

  “And how is that?” said the teacher.

  “Looking over your shoulder is no way to live,” said Nick. “Besides, he was hurting people, and I’m not just talking about me. He ruined people’s lives.” He glanced at Amanda uncertainly, then seemed to come to a decision. “Take Herb Lester, for example.” More gasps. “I’m sorry, Amanda—more than you’ll ever know—but Blixus and I ruined your dad’s life, for which I have profound regrets. And he’s only one of our victims. I’ve behaved shamefully.” It wasn’t lost on Amanda that he’d shifted the focus of the discussion from Blixus’s guilt to his own, and she appreciated it.

  “Yes, you have,” said Professor Feeney. “You should be in prison.”

  Most of the class nodded. Amanda noticed that Simon, Ivy, and astonishingly, Gordon Bramble, did not.

  “That’s probably true,” said Nick. “But I can be more useful here.”

  “You’re certainly full of yourself,” said the teacher haughtily.

  “I was,” said Nick softly.

  “And now?” she said, tapping her foot.

  “And now I’m not.”

  For the rest of the class Professor Feeney grilled Nick relentlessly. Afterwards she informed everyone that the “debriefing” would continue for several weeks but that she would alternate that with the usual curriculum. She claimed it was instructive for the class to witness a real life criminal mind in action, although they should take whatever Nick said with a grain of salt since criminals rarely told the truth. Amanda was outraged but she was sure the ordeal was necessary to Nick’s transition. As grueling as it was, she could see that he was up to the challenge and she loved him even more for it.

  She wondered what her classes might be like if Eustace had attended, or heaven forfend, Despina. Even more she wondered how Legatum would change them. Did you automatically turn hard and difficult when you became a detective? Both were so open-minded and cheerful. They would probably cut Nick a little slack.

  It was a shame the teachers had denied Eustace’s application. What did it matter if you were related to some illustrious line of detectives anyway? Thinking like a sleuth wasn’t genetic. They were just being snobs. As much as she liked Thrillkill, whom she could still find intimidating, she deplored his inflexibility on the issue. Of course there was the secrecy thing to worry about, and now that she knew the reason Lovelace Earful had created The Detective’s Bible she could see why that was important. But she still felt indignant on Eustace’s behalf and wished she could do something to change Thrillkill’s mind.

  When she saw Nick in the hall after class she said, “You were wonderful!” She wanted to kiss him but that was obviously off the table.

  “She wasn’t impressed,” said Nick.

  “I think she was,” said Amanda. “You didn’t back down. She respects that.”

  “I’m just being myself,” he said. “For once.”

  Remembering the misleading persona he had used when he’d infiltrated Legatum seemed to make him uncomfortable, and he hastily excused himself. At that point Ivy came up and said, “I think Nigel really likes Nick.”

  This remark seemed such a non sequitur that for a moment it didn’t register. Once she’d realized what Ivy had said Amanda asked, “What makes you think that?”

  “Every time we get close to him Nigel pulls me toward him. Then Nick pets him and Nigel won’t let him stop.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope. I don’t know what it is, but I think those two are in love. You’re not jealous, are you?”

  Amanda grinned. “Nigel can see whoever he wants.”

  Ivy mock slapped Amanda’s arm. “I meant Nick, silly.”

  “I know what you meant. What did you think of the interrogation?”

  “He was brilliant,” said Ivy. “He’ll make a great detective.”

  Amanda was so touched by her friend’s faith in Nick that she put her arms around her and hugged her. Suddenly she realized that Ivy had grown. She must have been all of four foot eleven by now. Maybe she’d even make five feet by the time she had reached her full height. Amanda herself was up to five foot one now, a giant by comparison. “Thank you, Ivy. You’re the best friend ever.”

  “That may be,” said Ivy, “but I’m not just saying that. He’s an extraordinary person.”

  “I wish other people could see that.”

  “They will. Just give them time. Speaking of extraordinary people, have you noticed how unhappy Professor Kindseth is with Charlotte and the wretches moving in?”

  “I’ll say,” said Amanda. “He’s a walking wounded.” Professor Kindseth looked glummer than ever these days. He never bounded around anymore, and Simon claimed he hadn’t 3D printed anything in weeks.

  “Do you think letting the wretches move into the tunnels was a bad idea?” said Ivy.

  “It’s hard to say,” said Amanda. “Which reminds me, do you know that Despina wants to get Charlotte and Professor Kindseth back together?”

  “Oh dear,” said Ivy
. “She shouldn’t meddle.”

  “Stranger things have happened,” said Amanda. “But I agree.”

  “Ivy’s right,” said Simon, barging into the conversation. “Professor Kindseth needs to be able to move on with his life. He’s an adult and that’s the adult thing to do. Besides, look what happens when you let your romantic feelings get in the way. Harry Sheriff anyone?”

  “Amphora thinks Harry is incredibly romantic,” said Ivy. “Although she hates the wretches. She thinks they’re a security risk.”

  “They are,” said Simon.

  “You don’t seem upset about that,” said Amanda.

  “Nothing upsets me,” said Simon.

  Amanda zipped her lip. She was not about to remind him that he’d been a wreck when he thought Thrillkill might expel him.

  “The wretches are awesome,” said Gordon, joining the group.

  “So you’ve said,” said Ivy, laughing. Gordon always seemed to make her grin these days. Of course the fact that he had saved her life might have had something to do with it.

  “You have no idea,” said Gordon. “They’re way more interesting than most people, even Professor Pole.” Professor Pole was the fires and explosions teacher, and the kids credited him with changing Gordon from a bland toady into an enthusiastic and creative young man. The boy had grown tremendously in his class. “They aren’t a security risk at all. You’ll see.”

  “Who isn’t a security risk?” said Clive, moving into their circle.

  “The wretches,” said Simon, patting his cowlick.

  “Oh, I thought you meant Nick,” said Clive.

  “Nick shouldn’t be here,” said Amphora from across the hall. “I never liked him.”

  Amanda was so irritated she almost said, “Who cares what you think?” but she managed to keep quiet. Good thing, too, because Ivy interjected the perfect response.

  “I think Nick will surprise you,” she said.

  “Don’t tell me you’re smitten too,” said Amphora, glancing at Amanda.

  “I am not smitten,” said Ivy. “There’s just more to him than you think.”

  “Bah,” said Amphora. “Once a crook always a crook.”

  “Once a bimbo always a bimbo,” said Simon, whereupon Amphora beaned him over the head with her bag.

  “Ouch!” he said. “Ivy!”

  “I’m not fining you anymore,” said Ivy. “Your behavior is up to you.” Ivy had given up trying to make people be nice by charging them twenty or fifty p when they said something mean. It hadn’t worked, although she had built up quite a nice nest egg with the proceeds.

  “Dammit, Ivy,” said Simon. “Do you always have to be so mature?”

  “Shut up,” said Amanda. What was wrong with being reasonable?

  “It doesn’t matter,” said Ivy. “I will always love you, Simon, no matter what.”

  That stopped him in his tracks. “Why do you say that?”

  “You’re smart and you do know better,” said Ivy. “Someday your mouth will catch up with your brain.”

  “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he said. “You really do love me.”

  “I do,” said Ivy, taking his hand. Simon grinned like a hyena. “Now come on. We’re going to be late for Cyberforensics.”

  10

  SPIDERS

  Holmes didn’t like having Nick around one bit but he had bigger fish to fry. The kids would have to find and spirit away those red spiders before Banting Waltz was able to decode the Bible pages and locate them himself, and he was keen to make it happen ASAP. So was everyone else, for that matter, but there were obstacles to overcome.

  One problem was the weather. It was winter, and insects are not known for making themselves visible in the cold. But if they waited until spring it might be too late. They would have to act immediately.

  Another problem was strictly interpersonal. According to the secret writing on one of the Bible pages, the spiders were supposed to live in a remote location near Ambleside, four miles from Windermere. This was convenient because it made them accessible by boat, skateboard, or foot. Everyone was raring to go, but when the group refused to let Nick come with them, Amanda got so annoyed she almost pulled out. Realizing a move like that would be counterproductive, she settled for taking out her frustration on Holmes.

  “You need to get over this,” she said. “Jealousy doesn’t become you.”

  “Sure, I’m jealous,” he said. “But that’s not the reason. You need to separate your feelings for him from the reality of the situation. No matter what’s happened or how you feel, he’s dangerous.”

  “Of course he’s dangerous,” she said. “He’s lived with the Moriartys all his life. But that doesn’t mean he—oh, never mind. If you don’t get it I can’t explain it.”

  He shook his head. For some reason the gesture irritated her. “I hope for your sake you’re right, but I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  “Well then get ready because you will. See it, I mean.”

  “Yeah, right,” he muttered, and went back to collecting shovels, jars, and brooms for the trip. He sure could be a dork sometimes.

  Getting to Ambleside wouldn’t be difficult. Finding the spiders was another matter. The Bible didn’t provide detailed directions to their nest. It just referred to an area up a steep hill near something called Slaggyford House. Of course the directions had been written more than 100 years before so who knew what Slaggyford House was today or whether it still existed. The name might even be a code for something that wasn’t a house.

  Googling didn’t help, but an old map they found in the library did. Apparently Slaggyford House once lay in a remote area on the east side of Lake Windermere. The map was dated 1975, though, and none of the more recent maps showed it, so they couldn’t be sure it was there. But since they knew where it had been, that didn’t matter. They had an approximate location.

  The trip was uneventful. They decided to walk, which meant that it would take them more than an hour each way. But as they were used to a lot of exercise they didn’t mind, and it gave them the opportunity to work off some of the tension they were feeling.

  When they got within view of the desired spot, they could see that there was indeed a building where Slaggyford House was supposed to be. Gordon became excited and ran toward it, then went into cloak and dagger mode, hiding behind boulders and sprinting from one to the next as fast as possible to avoid detection. Amanda wasn’t sure what the point of these evasive maneuvers was but they seemed to make him happy. What a doofus he could be.

  Of course now the question was where the spiders might be. For all the kids knew they were hiding under a rock somewhere. But there were so many rocks and they were so heavy! They couldn’t dig under all of them.

  “Now what?” said Amanda.

  “Hang on,” said Simon cheerily.

  He pulled some chocolates out of his pocket and laid them in strategic locations on the ground. This approach did not strike Amanda as either efficient or likely to yield results, especially since the spiders were probably hibernating and wouldn’t smell the chocolate anyway.

  “I’m surprised at you, Simon,” she said. “Spiders are carnivores.”

  “Usually,” he said, continuing to place the chocolates. “All bugs like junk food though.”

  “Whether they do or not, we don’t have time to wait for them to get a sniff,” said Holmes.

  “Then how come every time I have junk food sitting around it’s covered with bugs within five minutes?” said Simon.

  “Ewww,” said Ivy. “That’s gross. But I’m with Amanda and Scapulus. That won’t work. Why don’t we let Nigel look for them?”

  “How is he going to know what to look for without the scent?” said Simon.

  “I can’t believe you of all people would ask that,” said Ivy, bending down and kissing Nigel.

  “Of course I’m going to ask,” said Simon. “He doesn’t understand the word ‘spider.’ How are you going to tell
him what to look for?”

  Ivy reached in her bag and pulled out a picture of a red spider. Then she turned to Nigel, stuck it in his face, and said, “Fetch.”

  Nigel bounded off and started to sniff here and there. Simon, who seemed to be off his game for some reason, humphed, turned to Clive, and said, “Let’s check that candy.”

  But he didn’t get far because Gordon, who had ducked behind the house, was gesticulating wildly. When he had got their attention he put a finger to his lips—whether to keep them from disturbing the occupant or any spiders he might have found they didn’t know—and beckoned for them to come see.

  No one wanted to play spy, so they simply walked over to where Gordon was and looked. He pointed to a dark, icky-looking spot under the house.

  “Did you find them?” Ivy said.

  “Yep,” said Gordon proudly.

  “Let me see that,” said Simon, sticking his face under the house. “Where?”

  “You have to go underneath,” said Gordon.

  “Oh yuck,” said Amanda, but Simon was already wriggling his way into the crawl space. She looked away. She did not like the sight of his skinny butt squirming around.

  Suddenly a light appeared in the darkness and Amanda heard Simon say, “They look dead.”

  “They’re just hibernating,” said Gordon. “Let me come in.”

  He started to crawl under the house, but at that moment Nigel came flying from wherever he’d been, raced past him, and made a beeline for Simon.

  “No!” yelled Simon. “Not now, Nigel.”

  “What’s happening?” said Ivy, listening carefully.

  “He’s eating them,” said Simon.

  “Nigel, no,” yelled Ivy, whereupon the dog instantly lay still and stretched out on his stomach.

  “Thanks,” said Simon. “He stopped.”

  Now the spiders, which weren’t exactly tiny, were awake and jumping all over the place. They streamed out from under the house and scattered every which way. Simon raced out, bumping his head, and crashed into Gordon. Amanda, Holmes, Clive, and Gordon chased the spiders, and Ivy stood stock still making sure Nigel didn’t interfere. They were fast little demons, tearing around at what seemed like thirty miles an hour—by the way not going anywhere near Simon’s candy.