Unexpected

by Bailey B

  “Because Marla is a good kid with no one in her corner. It’s not like the baby was actually mine. Nothing would have happened to me if she decided to keep it.”

  “Did she?”

  “No." Asher turns to look at me, his amethyst eyes dark and sorrowful. "I drove her to Planned Parenthood a week later. It’s kind of a scary place. Whatever you’re doing there, you shouldn’t have to go alone.”

  I squeeze the hand on my leg and Asher links his fingers with mine. “You're sweet.”

  Asher sits up and faces me. He mirrors my position and our knees touch. I shouldn't want to kiss him. We just talked about a girl being raped and I'm about to get an STD test. But the way Asher is looking at me makes my stomach drop and my heart flutter in a way I'm steadily becoming used to. He took the fall for some girl, probably paid for the procedure too, all so she didn't have to look at her child's face and be reminded of a monster. It's kind of a turn on.

  "I’m serious," he insists. "Let me go with you."

  “I’m good, I promise.” I squeeze his shoulder because I need to touch him. A smile tugs at Asher's lips. I don't think he minds having my hands on his body. One of these days I'm going to feel every inch of him. Just maybe not today.

  "Alright. What time are you leaving?" Asher pushes my hair behind my ear.

  I think he feels the same pull I do. I close my eyes and lean into his hand. His thumb strokes my cheek, brushing against the corner of my mouth.

  I open my eyes, wondering, Is this an invitation to kiss him? “Eleven forty-five. Right after lunch.”

  “If you change your mind, let me know," he whispers. He leans closer until the heat of his breath tickles my cheeks.

  I lick my lips, aware I've drawn attention to them. We stay like this until it's obvious he isn't going to make a move. Until I get the all-clear from the doctor, I probably shouldn't either. The way Asher has me feeling, once we open that door, I doubt we'd be kissing long. Hands would be roaming and that orgasm he promised me wouldn't be too far off.

  I pull back and walk over to my dresser, fishing a pair of earrings from my jewelry box. “I will. We should probably get going or we will be late.”

  The morning flows by faster than I would have hoped, and my appointment at Planned Parenthood is in less than an hour. I have to leave school in thirty minutes and I am freaking the F out. I hate needles, but more so, I’m terrified as to what my blood work will show. My opinion of Liam has changed in the past few weeks. I don't know how I was so ignorant.

  “Oh, my gosh, Lainey!” Maggie squeals as she sets her tray down beside me. “I forgot to tell you! Mom and I finally found the perfect dress.”

  “Oh yeah?” I say with a forced smile at the same time Asher asks, “For what?”

  Maggie rolls her eyes like she can’t be bothered with Asher’s ignorance. I’d laugh, but my mind is too cluttered with thoughts about this afternoon. “Do you live in a cave? Prom! It’s next weekend.”

  “Oh!” Asher says, his eyes widening. They look to me with wonder, confusion, and a little bit of something I can't figure out.

  I shift in my seat and stab at my salad with my fork. We’ve never talked about the dance. As Asher’s fake girlfriend, it’s implied that we go together. If he goes. Asher, however, hasn’t made any indication that prom is something he’s interested in. While I want to go to the dance, I can’t if my fake boyfriend isn’t at my side.

  “Prom.” Asher’s brows knit together. “Huh. I forgot that was coming up.”

  “Forgot?” Maggie’s face twists in disgust. “This is the last dance we will go to. Like, ever! How have you not asked Lainey to be your date yet?” Maggie doesn’t wait for Asher to respond. She gasps as if he’s said something horrible when really her mind is running away from her. “You cannot break up with Lainey before prom. I swear to god, Asher, I will castrate you!”

  “Relax.” Asher chuckles and throws his arm over me. “If I had my way, Ellie and I would grow old together, but that’s not my call. It's hers.”

  I stare at Asher, not sure what to say. I know that things between us are fake but it’s hard to know where the line is for him when he talks like that. I wish he meant it, because I like what we have. It’s going to suck when school ends in a few weeks. I don’t want to think about what college will be like. He’s a great football player. It’ll take no time for girls to notice him.

  I roll my eyes and pretend that the string of faceless girls I’m imagining don’t bother me. "Oh, please. You’ll be sick of me before we hit our one-year anniversary.”

  “I doubt that.” Asher rubs his fingers across my arm.

  "Yeah, we’ll see.” I feel panicky. I don’t want to think about the future. We graduate in six weeks. Asher will move on and I will be loser Lainey, the girl who lost the two boys she’s ever cared about. Feelings suck. “Say we do make it to our first anniversary or even the second, sooner or later, you'll be drafted by some big-wig football team and be gone. Long distance relationships are hard. You talk a sweet talk, Asher, but we don’t know where life will take us once we graduate.”

  “Who said anything about long distance?” He smirks. “I’m taking you with me.”

  “Really?” I ask in disbelief. I doubt he's thought about the seriousness of what he's implying. I'd have to put my career on hold to follow him around the country, possibly even the world. I push those thoughts aside and scold myself. This isn't real. Asher and I don't have a future. Not if I don't make us real, that is.

  “Well, yeah.” Asher leans over and kisses the side of my temple. I blush, loving the way his lips feel on my skin. It’s been too long since I've had his mouth on mine. The alarm on my phone rings, signaling it’s time to leave. I swallow hard and try to push the thoughts of needles and blood and possible STDs from my mind.

  “Sweetie?" Maggie asks. "Are you okay?"

  “I’m fine.” I stand and blood rushes to my head making me sway. I press both hands on the table to steady myself. This is horrible. I can’t do this. I think I’ll stay at school. I’m not having sex anyway. I can live with whatever Liam may have given me.

  Asher stands and takes my hand. “She’s just nervous because I told her I had a surprise planned for after lunch. That alarm is our cue to go.”

  I stare out the window as we drive through town, twisting the hem of my shirt into a knot. Undoing it. Then twisting it again. Besides being nervous, I’m embarrassed. I didn’t want Asher to be here with me. I didn’t want him to see how pathetic I am when it comes to doctors. More importantly, I didn’t want him to know that I may have an STD.

  Asher reaches over and sets his hand on mine. There’s no one around. This gesture, it isn’t for show. It’s to comfort me and again I’m left wondering where the line of our reality lies. “Want to tell me why we’re going to Planned Parenthood?”

  No. “We are going because you felt the need to save the day.” I sneak a sideways glance and notice Asher smirking. God, that smile. How can it eat the bats wreaking havoc in me while letting loose a bunch of its own fluttering beasts?

  “I am going because…” Am I really going to say it out loud? “Because…”

  It was hard enough just to make an appointment. Mom thinks I’m going under the pretense of refilling my birth control subscription. She would have a fit if she knew the truth.

  Asher squeezes my hand, once again reminding me that he’s got my back. I smile and glance over at him. If the roles were switched, and Liam saw me having a mini freak out in the cafeteria, I’m not so sure he would have swooped in the way Asher did.

  “I’m worried Liam might have given me…” Gosh, this is so embarrassing. “Something.”

  I watch Asher for a reaction. A stiffness to his jaw. A twitch of the eye. Anything to indicate that he is as disgusted with me as I am. Instead, when the light turns red, he stops and looks me dead in the eye with nothing but concern. “Are you showing symptoms of something?”

  Shoot me now. “No, but I didn’t realiz
e how many people Liam was sleeping with while we were together.” I look down at my hands. “I feel stupid.”

  Asher reaches over and cups my cheek. I look up into his amethyst eyes, so clear and full of an emotion I know can’t be real. “You’re not stupid, Ellie. You can’t help who you fall for. He’s the idiot for not seeing how amazing you are.”

  “Elaine Walker?” a nurse calls after fifteen minutes of waiting in the waiting room.

  Asher stands when the woman says my name. She raises an eyebrow behind her thick-rimmed glasses but doesn’t comment. He holds both hands out to me. I take them, letting him pull me onto shaky legs. Despite my hesitations, I am glad Asher is here. I probably would have chickened out by now if I were alone.

  “Sir,” the nurse starts, “I’m sorry, but—”

  “I want him with me,” I interrupt, because I do. I never thought Asher would be the person I’ve come to rely on most, but here we are. My unexpected hero, once again saving me when I didn't know I needed to be rescued.

  The nurse nods then leads us down a hallway. The walls are lined with posters warning wayward teens about drugs, tobacco, and pregnancy. I swallow the lump in my throat and wordlessly step on the scale when directed. The nurse jots the numbers on her clipboard, then directs us to the examination room. She takes my temperature, straps a blood pressure cuff to me, and even though it's probably written on her paper, she asks me why I’m here.

  I’m okay with everything until that last question, where I have to explain the horror that is my sex life because the only person I’ve been with is a man-slut. “I...I…”

  “We are here for an STD panel,” Asher says. He squeezes my hand and I look up at him stunned.

  “We?” the nurse inquires, vocalizing my thoughts. “I only have your…”

  “Girlfriend,” he inputs seamlessly. The way he says it makes my stomach flutter. For a moment, I forget where we are, and what the reality of our relationship is, and bask in the warmth of being Asher Anderson’s first and only titled girlfriend. It's a great feeling.

  “Let me check with the front desk and see if we can work you in.” The nurse looks irritated as she collects her things, but keeps her tone flat. “Can I have your driver's license and insurance card, please?”

  Asher pulls the cards out of his wallet and hands them over. The nurse leaves, closing the door behind her.

  “You don’t have to do this,” I say, breaking the silence.

  Asher shrugs and walks over to the counter. He lifts the lid on an apothecary jar and grabs a couple of condoms, then shoves them in his pocket. My cheeks flush both from embarrassment and nervousness. I know he hasn’t been with anybody since we started our arrangement; he hasn't had the time. Still, the thought of him wanting to use those with me makes my body shake with excitement and then fear, because what if he’s grabbing those for when this is over?

  What if he’s counting down the days until he can grab some chick at a party and take her to bed?

  I frown, dread filling me at the thought of Asher with someone else.

  “It’s no big deal.” He shrugs again then turns to face me, leaning against the counter. “It’s been about a year since I’ve had one. I’m probably due anyway.”

  I stare at him wide-eyed. “You’ve...you’ve done this before?”

  He nods. “I’m not some crazy philanderer. I don’t sleep with a bunch of people, but you can catch shit from oral too. Some girls...” He pauses and shakes his head. “I don’t trust ’em as far as I can throw ’em.”

  The nurse comes back in with a scowl on her face. “Fill these out.” She hands Asher a clipboard then starts gathering his vials. My pulse races again. I watch the woman label a handful of tubes and set everything on two trays. One for me. The other for Asher.

  Before I know it, she has my arm in her clutches and is wrapping a rubber tourniquet around me. She rubs her thumb over my veins then uncaps her needle.

  “Wait!” I command, scooting an inch away.

  “What?”

  “I was going to go first.” Asher sets his pen down and sits beside me. He winks as the nurse removes my tourniquet and wraps it around him.

  Asher doesn’t bat an eye when she sticks him with her needle and draws four vials of blood. When she’s done, she presses a cotton ball to his arm and wraps it with some sticky tape.

  The nurse opens a new needle and glares at me. She must be able to sense that I am not digging this. Asher wraps his arm around my waist as the woman ties the tourniquet over my arm again. I close my eyes and lean my head on Asher’s shoulder. He takes my other hand in his and squeezes when the needle pricks my skin. Before I know it, the rubber around my arm is coming off and the nurse says she’s done.

  “You did it.”

  I open my eyes to the sound of Asher's voice. He’s looking down at me with that gleam in his eye again. The one that hints that he might be feeling everything that I am. But there’s a chance that I’m only seeing what I want.

  “We should probably go get your bike,” I say, noticing Asher is driving us towards my house and not back to school.

  “I’m not worried.”

  I look at him curiously. How is he planning on getting home? Or back to school tomorrow? Am I supposed to pick him up? I can if that's what he wants. “But they’ll lock the gate.”

  He chuckles and steals a glance at me before turning down Magnolia Street. “I can pick a lock, Ellie.”

  "Oh." I laugh nervously at the thought of Asher breaking into the school to reclaim his motorcycle in the middle of the night. I cross my legs, feeling myself getting turned on. Who knew I was into bad boys? “Of course you can.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?” He sounds amused, not angry, which is a relief because that could have been taken the wrong way. Asher helped me through the most embarrassing and terrifying experience of my life. The last thing I want is to hurt his feelings.

  “That even someone like you, who doesn’t go to school or have friends over there, can still be corrupted.”

  Asher parks in my empty driveway. Dad is at the office, as usual, and while Mom works remotely, she is still required to go into the office one week per month. I purposely chose my appointment today because I knew she wouldn’t be home. She'd take one look at me and know something was up.

  Asher kills the engine and shifts in his seat. He stares at me, a worry wrinkle between his eyebrows. “I have friends, Ellie. I just don’t talk about them.”

  It makes sense that Asher would hang out with people from his neighborhood. He's a handsome, social guy. We may not have been close the past few years, but he's never mentioned anyone from over there. Not even when we were kids. Marla is the first person he's been willing to talk about. "Why not?"

  He sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. “Because they’ve done bad things to get by. We all have.” He pauses and mumbles shit under his breath. “I don’t want you to know about that side of me. I'm not a good person."

  I reach over and take Asher’s hand in mine. My breath hitches because I feel it. The spark in my blood I used to get from being with Liam. The tingles I can’t deny are anything other than desire. If there was any doubt left about having feelings for Asher, they’re gone, because this is the side no one sees. The sweet, vulnerable side that is afraid of what I might think.

  “Asher, I know things over there can be rough.” I reach up and cup his cheek with my palm. He leans into my hand and closes his eyes. He's scared I'm going to push him away, but I'm not that easy to get rid of. “But nothing you’ve done can change what we have. It’s safe to say you’ve weaseled your way into the best friend position." And my heart. "I promise, even after this fake dating thing is over, I’m not going anywhere.”

  Asher's gaze drops to my lips for a fraction of a second and I think, He’s going to kiss me. I want him to kiss me. It’s been so long, I’ve forgotten what he tastes like. But, Asher pulls back and says, “I should probably go.”

  “No!�
�� My heartbeat thunders through my body. I’m scared I may have crossed that invisible line we dance on between reality and the fake world of dating. Asher might not view me as more than a friend, and I may have gone too far. “I mean… um… do you want to come in and watch a movie? Or something?”

  Asher looks out the window, staring down the street. Liam lives four houses down, and he knows that. Even if he had forgotten, Liam's car is out front and it's hard to miss. “Sure, let’s go inside.”

  Asher walks to the couch and grabs the TV remote while I head to the kitchen. I plop a bag of instant popcorn into the microwave and duck behind the fridge. My head drops against the cold metal and I take a deep breath. I have no idea what I’m doing. Asher gave me an escape and I should have used it. Instead, I invited him into my home, with no solid plan, and I’m freaking out. The microwave dings and I take the bag of popcorn out. I open the bag, shaking the steam out with a little toss and wonder, One bowl or two?

  I bite my lip, internally chastising myself because if I were with Liam, we would have one bowl. No questions asked. I would curl up under his arm and watch a third of the movie before making out and then switching bases until the credits rolled. With Maggie, it would be two bowls on separate ends of the couch, critiquing the love interest in a sappy chick flick we've probably seen a million times.

  Which leads me back to my original question: where do Asher and I fall?

  I pick one bowl, rationalizing that he can decide how close we sit and head into the living room. He lounges on one end of the couch, TV remote in hand, scrolling through Netflix.

  “Find something yet?” In a split-second decision, I sit in the middle of the cushions. It seemed like the best option considering we have one bowl. Not too obvious. I hope.

  “Yeah, this one.” Asher scrolls up to a movie called Holidate. He shows me the trailer. It looks funny, but I can’t help but notice it’s about two people who date but aren’t actually together.