by Liv Brywood
“No. No. Just…she needs to be alone right now.”
“She’s spent the last nine months alone.”
Nosh shot him a look that said, please don’t argue with me right now.
Ryker said, “All right, but why don’t you grab a spot in the great room for now. You can leave in the morning.”
***
At dawn, Nosh jogged through the Silver Creek River on the way home. He’d wanted to go try to talk to Gwen again, but he figured it would be pointless. Maybe in a few days she’d change her mind and come back to his den. Or maybe he’d go to her. Either way, she clearly wanted nothing to do with him right now.
He started up the trail, grateful to finally be able to run without side-splitting pain. The mountain trail wound up into a narrow pass. He eyed the large boulders on either side of the path. Lucian had sent a crew to secure the rocks, but Nosh kept an eye on them anyway.
He should have been paying closer attention to the ground.
He tripped over something and fell flat on his face. When he put his palms in front of him to push up, a pair of filthy feet came into view. One stomped down on his hand. Shockwaves of pain radiated out in concentric circles like a pebble hitting a pond. He bit back a scream. No way in hell would he show weakness.
“Mazus,” he snapped.
“I can’t believe you’re traveling alone. Where’s the bitch?”
Rage welled up in his chest. He yanked his hand away and stumbled back onto his butt. As he tried to stand, Mazus kicked him in the ribs. Breath exploded from his lips and for a second, he couldn’t draw another.
“I’ll find the little whore later.”
Mazus sneered down at him before kicking this side of his jaw. Nosh’s head whipped to one side. A blast of spit flew from his lips. He tasted dirt as Mazus smashed this side of his face into the ground with his foot.
Nosh grabbed his ankle with one hand and twisted with every ounce of strength he had. Mazus cried out as he fell backward. He slammed against the earth hard enough to make it quake.
Only temporarily disabled, Mazus rolled onto his belly and kicked him hard in the shoulder. Nosh skidded back a few feet. Dammit, he hadn’t actually recovered as much as he’d needed to. He struggled to stand only to have his legs swept out from under him.
He went down hard enough to see stars. Mazus wrapped his hands around Nosh’s throat. Spittle dribbled from Mazus’s lips to land on Nosh’s cheek.
Air. God. He needed air. The whole world faded as a circle of grey pressed in from the edges of his vision. And then there was only darkness.
Chapter 13
Gwen picked at the bowl of blackberries and tried to block out the sound of Abby cooing. Maybe she should have gone back with Nosh, then she wouldn’t have to hear a constant reminder of what she could never have.
She sat on the floor between Akila and Diana. As the women chattered on about all things baby, Gwen’s stomach churned. She hadn’t been able to eat more than a few bites.
Akila glanced at her. “Not hungry?”
“Not really.” She pushed the bowl away.
Diana said, “I’m surprised Nosh left without saying anything.”
Great, the last person she wanted to talk about. “He needed to get home.”
“You didn’t go with him” Akila said.
Gwen’s head snapped up. “Why would I?”
“I just thought that you might be returning to his den.”
“He’s healed. I did my job. There’s nothing more I can do.”
Akila clucked her tongue. “Oh, sweetie.”
“What?”
“He did a number on you.”
“What? No. What does that even mean?”
Diana shifted the baby from one arm to the other. “Nosh clearly cares for you.”
“He feels sorry for me.”
“No, not with the way he was staring at you with those smoky eyes of his,” Diana said.
“Humph.”
Akila’s voice took on a gentle tone. “I thought things were going well between you.”
“There’s nothing between us.”
“Wasn’t he teaching you self-defense?” Akila asked.
Gwen narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t tell you that. How did you know? Did he tell you? Did he talk to you?”
Akila said, “He did.”
“What did he say?”
“I told him I’d keep our conversation confidential. You know I always do.”
Gwen huffed.
Diana said, “Conversation aside, I can tell he likes you just by watching the way he interacts with you. He always leans in when you’re speaking. He also likes to reach out and touch you a lot. I’ve seen him holding your hand a few times.”
Gwen flushed. Could they be right? Could he really be interested in more than just friendship?
Akila said, “Ryker’s sending a small group up to Nosh’s den to help search for Mazus. They’re leaving in a little bit. If you check with Ryker, I’m sure he’ll let you go with them.”
“That way you’ll be safe,” Diana added.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why?” Akila asked.
“I’m not ready yet.”
“For a relationship?”
“And frankly, if he was really interested, would he have left without saying goodbye?” Gwen asked.
“Maybe he was too afraid of being rejected.”
“Afraid? He’s an alpha. He’s not afraid of anything.”
“Men want you to think that, but they’re softer on the inside than you think,” Akila said.
Gwen didn’t like being backed into a corner. “What do you know about men? You’ve never had a mate.”
Diana sucked in a breath as her gaze shot to Akila. Apparently she knew something Gwen didn’t.
Akila sighed. “I had a mate.”
“What? Why haven’t you ever talked about him?”
“It was a long time ago.”
“What happened?”
“He left me.”
“I’m sorry.”
Akila laughed sharply. “I’m not. He was a jealous, controlling bastard. He couldn’t stand that I had friends and interests that didn’t include him. He said I was holding him back, so he left.”
“Where did he go?”
“I have no idea. I never heard from him again.”
“You never found another mate?”
“No. I dedicated my life to healing instead. I never was really good at love, but I’m good at putting people back together.”
Gwen said, “Do you ever get lonely?”
“Sometimes, but I have you, Diana, Ryker and a bunch of other wolves in my family. I have all the love I could ever want.”
Diana looked at Gwen. “Sometimes love is hard to find. So if you have even a spark of it in your heart, you should see where it could lead.”
Gwen turned her attention to the fire. Were they right? Should she go back to Nosh and see if there was anything worth pursuing?
Akila said, “If you’re not sure, just go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? You’ll just end up with a really good friend.”
Gwen bit the edge of her lip. She wasn’t just afraid of being wrong about his intentions. She was also afraid of disappointing him. Why would he want a barren mate?
“What are you thinking?” Diana asked softly.
“He’s an alpha. I’m just… me.”
“You are incredible. You’re smart, pretty—”
“—and scared all the time,” Gwen interjected.
“He doesn’t see that,” Akila said.
“How do you know what he sees?”
“Trust me, he’s not a superficial man. Any man who doesn’t want you because of the way you look isn’t worth your time. Nosh isn’t like that. Being an alpha isn’t all about having abs of steel.”
“You noticed?”
Diana laughed. “Who wouldn’t?”
Gwen chuckled.
Akila continued, �
��Being an alpha is also about caring and compassion. A good leader can’t run a pack with just brute force. That’s something Mazus will never understand. A good leader needs to be able to look into the hearts of his pack and see their hopes and dreams. You can’t tell me Nosh didn’t do that.”
Gwen thought back to all of the conversations she’d had with Nosh about her life and fears. She hadn’t spent a lot of time talking about her hopes and dreams because until she’d met him, she hadn’t had any. But now… maybe she did.
Diana said, “Go with the group Ryker’s sending up the mountain. If it doesn’t work out, I’m sure Nosh will send some men with you to make sure you get home safely.”
“You’ve been to hell and back and survived. You can do this,” Akila said.
“I don’t understand why you have such faith in me.”
Akila smiled. “You have a strong spirit.”
“Strong enough for an alpha?”
“Strong enough for anyone.”
Gwen hesitated to say anything, but decided she had to bring up the one thing that was really holding her back. “I can’t have kids.”
Akila said, “No, I didn’t say that. I said it could be very difficult and you might not be able to carry a baby to term. Unfortunately, we don’t know what will happen until you’re pregnant.”
“What if I can’t get pregnant?” she whispered.
Akila grasped her hand and squeezed. “If he really loves you, it won’t ruin your relationship.”
“That’s a pretty big ‘if.’”
Diana said, “I don’t know Nosh as well as Akila does, so all I can say is that it’s worth trying for. And I don’t mean having a baby, I mean finding the love of your life. I never thought I’d meet someone like Ryker, but I did. And even if I couldn’t have a baby, Ryker wouldn’t dream of leaving me.”
As if on cue, Ryker poked his head into the room. “My ears are ringing.”
Diana grinned and stood. She handed Abby to him. He held the baby with one arm while he wrapped the other around his mate. They looked so happy. Maybe she should take a chance on happiness. She’d spent so much time being sad.
Akila looked at Gwen expectantly. “Well?”
She turned back to Ryker. “I was wondering if maybe I could go with the group that’s headed up to Dark Moon Pack’s den.”
Ryker grinned. “Sure. I’ll have Fadian take you with the group. They’re leaving in a few minutes so you might want to grab your stuff and get ready.”
Gwen stood and walked to the entrance to the room. She stopped and smiled at Akila and Diana. “I hope you’re right about this.”
***
Can’t breathe. Too much weight. Too much pressure.
Nosh struggled for air as he regained consciousness.
Mazus’s hands clamped down around his throat. “You’re so weak. I wish the other wolves could see you now.”
Nosh tried to speak, but his lips wouldn’t move. He clawed at Mazus’s hands but couldn’t break free. He was going to die and he hadn’t even told Gwen how he felt about her. He had to fight harder. He had to live, for her.
He summoned every ounce of strength and hurled his fist at Mazus’s face. It connected with his nose. Blood spurted out like a geyser. Nosh took the opportunity to shove Mazus off of him. Still gasping for breath, Nosh rolled onto his feet and prepared to defend himself.
Mazus smeared the blood off his lips with the back of his hand. He looked down at it then skewered Nosh with a look of pure malice. “I’ll kill you.”
He rushed Nosh and slammed him into a granite boulder. His head cracked against the rock. Jagged fissures of pain sliced through his head. He stumbled and fell to his knees. Mazus leapt onto his back, crushing him into the ground.
This was it. Mazus would kill him and he’d never feel the softness of Gwen’s lips. He’d never have the chance to explore the soft curves of her voluptuous body. He’d never have the chance to see where things would have gone had he not been a coward. He should have stayed with her. He should have told her how much he cared about her. Now he was going to die with a thousand regrets hanging over his head.
Shouting in the distance caught his attention.
Mazus lifted off of him. “Shit.”
Nosh struggled to recognize the voices.
“Get him!”
A flurry of pounding feet sounded in the dirt. Nosh tried to get up, but his strength was gone. He lay flat against the earth, unable to move.
Soft hands moved across his back. “Nosh, oh my God. Are you hurt? Can you get up?”
Gwen! He tried again to crawl to his knees but slid back into the dirt.
“Don’t move, I’ll check for broken bones,” she said.
Her fingers poked and caressed him. She started at his neck and worked her way down every vertebra in his spine. When she reached his tailbone, she slowed to gently push the flesh on each side.
“I don’t feel anything broken.”
“Ribs,” he gasped.
“Again?”
He groaned as she gently rolled him onto his back. But when he opened his eyes to find her leaning over him, it was worth the misery. Her normally bright blue eyes darkened with concern. The slight pucker of skin of her forehead and drawn lips showed him exactly how much she cared.
“Gwen, I shouldn’t have left you.”
A smile crossed her lips. “I shouldn’t have let you leave.”
He laughed for a second before pain slashed through his diaphragm.
“Can you take a deep breath?” she asked.
He sucked in a breath then released it. “Yes.”
Her fingers splayed across his ribs. About half way down, he howled.
“I think you cracked one this time.”
“It’s broken?”
“I’m sure you have at least a small fracture on one rib, maybe two, but it didn’t puncture a lung. If it did, you’d have a hell of a time breathing.”
Fadian walked up next to Gwen. “We caught the bastard.”
“Good,” Nosh said.
“What should we do with him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Gwen said, “I think you should hang him.”
Nosh’s eyebrows shot up. “Hang him?”
“He tried to kill you.”
“She has a point,” Fadian said.
Nosh struggled to sit up. His ribs hurt like hell. “No, don’t hang him. We don’t kill other wolves unless it’s in self-defense.”
“What do you want us to do with him?” Fadian asked.
Edon brought a bound and gagged Mazus into view. Pure hatred poured off of him.
Nosh said, “Take him back to the den. Get some of the guys to make a cell and lock him up. Post a guard outside at all times. I’ll figure out what to do with him later.”
“Will do,” Fadian said.
Edon had to half-drag Mazus away, but he managed to get the man walking. Fadian and some of the other wolves went ahead with them while a few stayed behind.
“Do you think you can stand?” Gwen asked.
“Yeah.”
He took as deep a breath as he could, then managed to roll up onto his feet. He straightened almost all the way up before gasping. The muscles spasmed along his still-mending leg. Although it had been mostly healed, the fight had reinjured it.
Gwen said, “Here, lean on me.”
She wrapped an arm around his waist.
Another wolf approached. “Let me help.”
He stood on the other side of Nosh. As they hobbled up the path, sweat poured down Nosh’s face to sting his eyes. Each step brought on a new wave of nausea. His body throbbed in agony.
It seemed like an eternity had passed before the gate to the den finally appeared. Nosh searched for the last few drops of energy in his body. He could make it. He was almost there. Just having Gwen at his side gave him the strength to keep moving.
Lucian stood just inside the gate. His eyes went wide when he spotted Nosh. “Oh, shit.”
“I’m not in the best shape,” Nosh acknowledged.
“You look like you got into a fight with a grizzly.”
“Felt like it too.”
Gwen said, “We need to go to his room so he can rest.”
“Of course. Here, let me take over.”
Lucian stepped in to take her place. As the men carried him forward, Nosh craned his neck to see where Gwen went.
“I’m right behind you,” she said.
Once inside his room, Lucian helped him onto the bed. After rattling off a list of supplies, Gwen shoed the men out.
She gently lay a thin blanket over his body. “I’ll get you some water.”
He must have nodded off because when his eyes opened, the natural light from the skylight had faded into darkness.
“Gwen?”
“I’m right here.” She rushed over to stand next to the bed.
He held out his hand and she took it. “I should have stayed with you.”
“Mazus would have found you eventually.”
“No, not because of that. I shouldn’t have left without talking to you.”
She eased a hip onto the bed and sat on the edge. “I shouldn’t have let you leave.”
“Why did you?”
She lowered her head. “I… I’m…”
“Lay down next to me,” he whispered.
She swallowed. “You’re hurt.”
“I need you.”
Confusion flashed across her face. “You don’t mean…”
Oh, no. She thought he wanted her in his bed for sex. “No. I just want to feel you by my side.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
She lifted the blanket and eased in next to him. Tension rolled off her body. He wasn’t sure what to say to help her relax, so he just said the first thing that came to mind. “I can’t believe I didn’t see him coming.”
“He’s stealthy. He snuck up on me too.”
“If you guys hadn’t showed up when you did…”
She brushed her hand down his arm. “But we did. If anything had of happened to you…”
“Gwen…”
She looked at him expectantly.
He reached up to caress her hair. His fingers grazed her soft cheek before drifting across her lips. Pain be dammed, he needed her.
