Plus One

by Sarah L. Young

  "So, all in all, I would assume maybe twenty pounds. It could be more, it could be less. It depends on how you usually gain weight, where the weight goes, and what sort of things you eat, how much of it you eat, and how active your lifestyle is. Some women have weird cravings or experience a real increase in appetite, and that can cause them to gain a lot of weight. But it's important not to eat too much using the fact that you're pregnant as an excuse. Because that can cause all sorts of problems for the child, especially obesity later in life. And because eating a very unbalanced diet can lead to malnutrition for the baby.

  "What am I going to feel in terms of weird side effects that I don't know about?" I asked her. "Like the stuff that isn't so obvious. I already know about like, morning sickness and things like that, but what else should I be prepared for?"

  "Oh, here comes the fun part!" the doctor told me, her voice dripping in sarcasm and a clearly fake grin plastered all over her face. I groaned. It wasn't so much that I was scared for all of the things that I knew would accompany the birth of my child, it was that I wanted to know what to expect. I hadn't heard good things about the side effects of pregnancy. Whenever my mom was mad at me she would remind me of all the side effects that happened when she was still pregnant with me.

  "There are a lot of different things," she said. "A lot of things could happen, or very little. I know that I haven't been giving you very definitive answers, but there's very little of this that's one hundred percent. So, one thing that a lot of women experience is swelling, especially in their ankles, feet, and wrists, so watch out for that. Gas can increase, your hormones will be a little bit out of whack, so you'll probably have some amount of hair that starts to grow in places that don't normally have hair, like it could start to grow on your belly or maybe on your upper arms. Or maybe places where you have growing hair, it might start to grow in darker or thicker. That can be confusing for some people, but it really isn't anything to worry about.

  "Oh, and speaking of worry, you might have some vaginal discharge. Some of it might have a little bit of blood in it, and that can be scary, but I want you to know that it's completely normal but if you're concerned about the amount of blood then you should tell your mom..." She trailed off and then there was an awkward pause once she had recognized her mistake.

  "Got it," I said, trying to play it cool, like it didn't bother me at all that my mom was totally ignoring me and pretending that I was no longer her child or her responsibility. I looked over at Mrs. Stanton who looked slightly uncomfortable. I felt Emily's hand tighten around mine, but I didn't care. I wanted to get on with this.

  "Another thing," I said, ignoring the awkwardness of the silence and the situation itself. "I was wondering if you could tell me some things about breastfeeding. Like I don't get it. My health class was really uninformative, so I don't really understand any of that. So, if you could explain all of that to me I'd really appreciate it."

  "Of course," the doctor told me, nodding her head, probably excited to have left the awkward pause behind. "Yes, of course. So, you have mammary glands, those are your breasts, and you also have milk ducts. Those fill with milk when you get pregnant. I mean they haven't started to come in yet, but it's going to start once you get closer to your due date. Your breasts might start to feel tender pretty soon and expand. Then once you have your baby you'll start providing milk once the baby starts suckling. I know that that sounds kind of weird, but that's the only way to explain the action of what the baby does. So once the baby starts to suckle, you'll start to feel the actual milk. And I'll teach you a couple of things about nursing and how to handle all those things a little bit later on, okay?" I nodded. It seemed like everything was going to start happening once it got "closer to my due date." But whatever, I was sure that I would be able to handle it. With Emily by my side, and with the Stantons on my side, I was sure that I would be able to make it through anything.

  "Okay," I said after a moment of thought. "I think that that's everything that I have. I mean, I'm sure that I'll think of some more questions later, but I'll make a list of them and then the next time that I come here I'll ask you all of those questions. Is that okay?" She laughed.

  "Of course that's okay," she told me. "And you have Mrs. Stanton here for you, and you have Clair, Mrs. Stanton's daughter, so any kind of questions that you have you could always talk to one of them. For real medical advice, you should come to me—and definitely not the Internet—but for a lot of other things you can talk to other women in your life who have had children. So, I have done everything that I need to do for this exam, but once you go outside back into the waiting room you should make an appointment for about a month from now with the nurse sitting at the desk. Come back with any questions that you have, like I said earlier, and don't hesitate to ask other mothers some questions."

  I nodded and shook her hand politely, hopping down from the tall exam table. Then, after a moment trying to catch my balance, Dr. Wendy walked out of the room and held the door open for me and for Emily and Mrs. Stanton. I followed her, and Emily and Mrs. Stanton followed behind. Once in the waiting room again Mrs. Stanton went about arranging my next appointment while Emily and I sat down in the cushy chairs. They felt more comfortable than regular doctor's office waiting room chairs, and I wondered whether or not the chairs in OB/GYN offices were inherently more comfortable, given that pregnancy had the reputation of being a thoroughly uncomfortable experience. Then, after a couple of minutes, Mrs. Stanton motioned for me to leave with her. I followed with Emily's hand grasped firmly in mine.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Emily

  After Lexi's first appointment with her doctor, all I could think about was her and her baby. Our baby. That little blip of a thing on that screen, it was going to change both of our lives. The heartbeat, that beautiful strong little sound, it brought tears to my eyes and a great big lump to my throat. I had imagined getting married one day and having children. I had even considered marrying Lexi and having children with her, but I hadn't imagined that any of it would be like this. But no matter what, I wouldn't have traded it for a single thing in the world. Hearing that little heartbeat and seeing that small thing, it made me want to do nothing except be a mom. I wanted nothing more than to hold that little child in my arms and let them know that I would never let anything bad happen to them, that I would keep them safe.

  The very next day after a long and hard day at school, I went to my local grocery store to get back the job that I had given up for my senior year. I knew that they provided a lot of money in scholarships for college-bound seniors, and I could certainly use every penny that I possibly could. I was about to have a child, after all.

  "Hi, Mr. Gunther," I said to the manager at the store. He welcomed me back into his office with a smile and a wave. He was an older guy with a head of disappearing gray hair, a red bulbous nose, and a thick set of glasses perched on top of that nose. I had sent him an email asking if I could meet with him about getting my job back, and he had replied almost instantly. I was totally exhausted after all that this week had held in store for me, but I knew that I needed this job and the sooner that I could start earning money, the better.

  "So," Mr. Gunther said once I had taken a seat at his desk. He folded his hands in his lap after adjusting his glasses. "I hear you want your job back? What's all this about? You told me that you didn't have time for it because of your senior year." I pondered for a moment what I should tell him. I wasn't sure how he would react if I told him the truth. He attended church every Sunday, and I wasn't sure he would react to the whole gay thing. Or the baby out of wedlock. Or the underage sex... none of it was looking so good so I told him a half truth.

  "Money has been tight," I told him, trying to keep my face in a smile. "And with college coming up, I don't know how I'm going to be able to afford it. I mean, everything costs so much! There's tuition, and then I have to buy a meal plan, and I also need to pay for room and board and textbooks. There are a lot of expenses th
at I wasn't even thinking about. So, it would be really helpful if I could get my job back. It would really go a long way." I didn't mention the whole college scholarship thing—which had made quitting in the first place a difficult decision—but I hoped very sincerely that he would bring it up and offer me the same deal that he had offered to many other kids since opening his doors back in 1987.

  "Yes, dear," he told me. I hated it when he called me dear, but I really needed this job. And I really, really needed this scholarship. I was okay if he called me dear as long as he gave me my money. "Well, I understand your particular predicament. I know that being a young person can be very hard when you're trying to balance everything. I assume a pretty young thing like yourself has to balance at least a couple of boyfriends on top of everything else." I smiled tightly and tried to not get angry at this heteronormative creep.

  "You can have your old job back, if you'd like, dear." The look in his eyes said that he knew that he owned me, but I smiled politely back at him. I was grateful for the job, but I wasn't about to get down on the ground and kiss the floor around his feet. "Because you quit before your senior year, I don't know if I ever got to discuss with you our scholarship for college-bound students like yourself. For each hour that you work, the store will pay an extra three dollars into a separate account for you so that you'll be able to afford college. If you stay in the area for school and you choose to continue working for us, then we can see about continuing that arrangement. I know that it isn't a lot when compared to the rising price of college tuition nowadays, but it's a lot better than nothing, which is what a lot of you kids have saved up. So, I hope that it helps, and I hope that you will consider staying in the area for your college years. A lot of the customers really like you, and so do I." He patted me gently on the shoulder and I tried my very best not to flinch away from his beefy hand as it clopped down on me.

  "So, we have a position opening up next week," he told me. I began to feel the excitement starting. It wasn't that I loved the work, or even moderately enjoyed it. I actually strongly disliked it, if I was being completely and totally honest, but I knew that I needed the money. I needed the money for that tiny little heartbeat and that itty-bitty blip on the sonogram screen. I needed the money so that that baby, so that mine and Lexi's baby, would have enough clothes and enough toys and always enough to eat. And going to college was part of that. Some may think that spending money on a college education is wasteful or selfish when there's a baby in the picture to worry about, but I knew that it would all be better in the long run.

  If I could go to college, then I would be able to one day have a real career, not a series of back-breaking, unfulfilling, and menial jobs like my mom had had. She told me from a very young age that she wished that she could have done it all over again so that she would have been able to go to college to better provide for me. So, no, I wasn't being selfish. I was taking advantage of my young age, my good grades, and my little bit of scholarship from this job to get an education for myself so that I could get a better job, get better pay, and so that eventually I would be better able to provide for my baby and all the things that they would need as they grew up.

  I shook Mr. Gunther's hand, promising to come into work first thing after school on Monday. He smiled at me again in his creepy way and I left his office in a hurry. I drove home carefully and expertly; I had driven this route hundreds of times before. I could practically do it in my sleep. When I finally got home, I checked my phone and found that I had missed a call from Lexi and that I now had a voicemail. I anxiously checked it, hoping that there wasn't anything wrong with her or with the baby.

  "Hey, love," her voice sing-songed over the answering machine. "Nothing's wrong, don't worry." She laughed in the recording and I laughed listening to it. She knew how stressed out I got about little things like left messages. They always sounded ominous to me. The message continued on. "Anyways, I ended up falling asleep the other night when I was supposed to have this fancy dinner with the Stantons in celebration of being welcomed into their family and the baby and all of that good stuff, and they rescheduled it to be tonight and they wanted me to invite you. You guys are all that I have in terms of family for the time being, so I think that it would be kind of great to have you all get to know each other. So please come. We're having dinner at six-thirty. Let me know if you can make it. I love you, the baby loves you, and we'll talk to you later."

  I smiled to myself. I was so lucky to have this girl in my life, and our baby was going to be the luckiest baby in the world to have so much love around them. I texted Lexi back immediately in order to let her know that I would be coming over for dinner. I couldn't wait to meet the amazing people who were taking her in. To do something so selfless, they must truly be some of the best people that the world had to offer, and I felt so lucky that we had been able to find them when we did.

  I sent her another text asking for their address and directions to the house. I couldn't remember exactly which neighborhood they lived in but seeing Jeff and Clair and the type of clothes that they wore, I assumed that it would be in one of the fancier, more expensive neighborhoods. I wasn't surprised when she responded a couple of minutes later to let me know that the family lived in a house on Monte Carlo road in the Twin Trees neighborhood. I decided to wear something nice for the occasion, given all that they were going to help me and Lexi out, and also given that they lived in such an upscale part of town.

  I decided on a plain black cotton dress with a turquoise blue scarf with sequins on it. I wore conservative black leggings but put on my combat boots to complete the outfit and give it a little bit of my personality. I studied myself in the mirror anxiously as I looked for flaws. My hair was always a little bit out of order, my glasses were always too smudgy to look nice, and no matter how I teased my scarf it always seemed to look like it was somehow in the wrong place. I tied it and retied it time and time again before giving up and hurrying out to the car. Being poorly dressed wouldn't make a good impression, but surely neither would being late. Once in the car I pulled out a tube or bright red lipstick which perfectly complimented my pale skin and dark hair. I smiled at myself in the mirror; it was go time.

  The drive to the Stanton's house didn't take very long, maybe around ten minutes. I wasn't really paying attention because I was too busy thinking about what the dinner could be, what the family would talk about and what I could say in response in order to make them think that I was as good as them, in order to make them like me.

  When I got to their house I looked down at the clock. It was six twenty-nine. I figured that I was close enough to being on time that it would be okay if I came to the door that one minute early. I was buzzing with a nervous excitement when I rang the doorbell, a feeling that I had almost grown accustomed to since finding out that Lexi was pregnant. I was so nervous for all that was to come, but even more than that, I was filled absolutely to the brim with the excitement of having my own little baby.

  After a moment of waiting, Clair came to the door and opened it with her little son on her hip. "Hey, it's so good to see you!" I said, reaching in to give her a hug. We had had a couple of classes together back when she was still in high school. She had always been one of the cool big kids, even after she had gotten pregnant. I had always admired her for her courage throughout it all. Her hair had gotten longer, and she had added highlights which looked great.

  "And hello little man," I said to her son. "What's your name?" I didn't expect him to answer, but he did.

  "Jacob," he told me in his little boy voice. I couldn't remember how old he was, but he seemed to be older than he looked if he was already able to talk. Clair stepped aside from the door in order to let me in. I took off my boots and placed them on the little shoe mat in the corner of the room near the door. Clair made a motion which I assumed meant that I should follow her, and I walked farther into the house. We stopped in the family room where Lexi, Jeff, and Mr. and Mrs. Stanton were all lounging on the couch, watching the night
ly news. Together they looked so much like a family that it touched me.

  "Hey guys," I said to the room. I had already formally met them each before, but this still felt like a first impression and I couldn't help but feel as though the "hey guys" had ruined it and left a bad impression of me. I bit on my lip nervously as they all turned around to face me. Lexi got up from the couch and gave me a big hug and a peck on the cheek.

  Jeff looked in my general direction and muttered "Hey," slightly engrossed with his phone, held only inches from his face. I giggled. He had already gotten so used to having Lexi in his house that he had returned to his regular teen boy state, barely paying attention to anything except of course for his video games and the all-important sports. What a goof. A sweet kid, but a goof nonetheless.

  "It's so great to see you again," Mrs. Stanton said, quickly getting off of the couch and coming at me with her arms open wide. She enveloped me in a big warm hug for such a little lady, and her friendly and loving embrace assuaged all of my fears of making the wrong kind of impression. Then Jeff's dad came over and shook my hand, smiling.

  "Hey, Jeff," his dad called back to the couch where Jeff now sat all by his lonesome starting at his little screen, completely oblivious to everything that was going on around him. I shook my head. He was SUCH a teenage boy. "Hey, boy child!" his dad said a little bit louder when he didn't look up from his phone. After the second call he looked up, startled.

  "Uh, yeah, Dad?" he said, questioningly. His dad motioned toward the TV set. "Oh, sorry," he told his dad as he rushed back over to turn off the TV before he joined us as we walked into the dining room for dinner.

  "Would you like help with setting the table?" I offered to Mrs. Stanton, and then I shifted my glance over to Mr. Stanton. I shouldn't have assumed that the mother in this house did all of the things needed to prepare the dinner. But it didn't matter, because she shook her head from side to side. It was a no.