Ella Perez wasn’t real. Her story was a fabrication. Her own life had been erased. She needed to accept it.
Isabelle couldn’t get any closer to Connor with all these secrets lurking under the surface. What if one of Burke’s men did come looking for her in Alaska? Connor might be placed in jeopardy simply by his connection to her. She couldn’t let that happen.
She still had nightmares from time to time, but they were less frequent than they had been when she’d first arrived in town. Isabelle had taken some steps forward over the last few weeks—she no longer jumped at sudden noises or had flashbacks of the shooting. For the first time in a long time she didn’t have a tight sensation across her chest. She could breathe now.
The biggest thing weighing her down was the knowledge that she couldn’t tell Connor a single thing about her past. Sometimes she had the impression he suspected something. He would look at her strangely at random moments or ask probing questions. Perhaps she was just feeling funny about living a life that really wasn’t her own. Maybe she was projecting her worries onto him. Even if they could never be a couple, he’d proven himself to be a solid friend.
“You’re Ella Perez now,” she said out loud as she gazed into the mirror. Although she looked the same as she always had, Isabelle knew she was changing every single day. Pretty soon, Isabelle would be nothing more than a memory.
And it broke her heart into a million little pieces.
* * *
Connor parked his truck a block away from the Snowy Owl Diner and began walking down Main Street. He was in the mood for a little walk down the main thoroughfare. He forced himself to smile at the townsfolk he crossed paths with, engaging in light conversation before going on his way. It was a gorgeous February morning with freshly fallen snow glistening on the tree branches. Everyone seemed to be out and about, frequenting the shops, running errands or indulging in an aromatic cup of tea at Tea Time. Normally, he would feel upbeat on a day like this, but Connor’s mood was contemplative. He’d arisen this morning with more questions than answers. He didn’t enjoy feeling so unsettled. Was he making too much of an issue about Ella’s mysterious past? It was still weighing on him.
He didn’t have to know everything about Ella’s history in order to know he was falling in love with the beautiful newcomer. Maybe that’s what he should focus on. The hope that one day they could turn their friendship into something more.
“Morning, Trudy,” he said as he spotted the lovable innkeeper.
Trudy Miller greeted him warmly. “Hey there, Connor. Nice to see you. I think your two sidekicks are waiting for you at the diner.”
“I’m on my way,” he said, pausing to plant a kiss on her cheek as he breezed by.
Trudy grinned and waved him down the street.
A few steps later he almost collided with Maya Roberts, the town’s veterinarian.
“Woops. Sorry, Maya. I wasn’t paying attention,” he apologized.
Maya smiled. “No worries. I just sent you a postcard. It’s time Bear came in for his shots.”
“Thanks for the reminder. I’ll bring him in ASAP,” he said before continuing on toward the diner. Things had been so hectic lately. He’d completely forgotten about Bear’s annual shots.
Connor bounded up the diner stairs and held the door open as his friend, Otis Cummings, exited the establishment with his lady friend, Birdie McCuller. Otis frequented the diner for breakfast several times a week. The older man was dipping his toe into the relationship pool after losing his wife a year ago. It was nice to see Otis so happy with Birdie.
“Hey there, Connor,” Otis said, tipping his hat at him.
“You’re such a sweetheart,” Birdie crowed as she sailed through the door. “And a true blue gentleman.”
“Have a great day, you two,” Connor said as he stepped inside. The smell of pancakes and eggs hovered in the air, causing his stomach to grumble in appreciation. He’d woken up to a hearty appetite and he was eager to dig in to one of the diner’s breakfast specials.
He spotted Gabe and Hank at their usual table at the back of the restaurant. As soon as he sat down in the booth, his friends greeted him.
“Well, look who’s gracing us with his presence,” Hank drawled. “A sight for sore eyes.”
“I barely recognize him,” Gabe said, giving Connor the once-over.
“Give it a rest, guys. It hasn’t been that long.” Connor forced himself to smile. The last thing he needed was for his two best friends to pounce on him. They were both pretty intuitive about Connor’s state of mind. He knew it was only a matter of time before one of them brought up Ella.
Rosie, one of the new waitresses, brought over a carafe of orange juice and began filling their glasses before taking their orders.
“So where’ve you been?” Hank inquired once Rosie left. “Rumor has it you’ve been seen around town with a certain dark-haired beauty.”
“Yeah. We’ve been spending time together. Just as friends, though. It’s not exactly front-page news,” Connor said. He wasn’t at all surprised that his name had been linked with Ella’s. Connor felt a stab of disappointment that the townsfolk had gotten it all wrong. His relationship with Ella had never developed into a romantic one. He was partly to blame for it, due to his overly suspicious nature.
Gabe chuckled. “You clearly don’t know the people in this town. They live for this kind of stuff. Next thing you know they’ll be marrying the two of you off.”
Connor rolled his eyes. He loved how people went from zero to a hundred in the span of a few weeks. He hoped Ella didn’t catch wind of any of the rumors. Connor knew Ella didn’t want a romantic relationship. He would hate for her to feel any awkwardness about being the focus of town gossip.
Connor needed to make sure his best friends understood. “She’s pretty amazing, although we’re just friends.”
“Are you sure? That look on your face suggests otherwise,” Gabe remarked.
He shook his head. “Yeah, I am. We were getting close, but honestly, I have so many doubts about her past. So we’re just buddies.”
Hank leaned across the table. “Are you saying you’d like to be more than friends in the future?”
Connor quirked his mouth. “I’d like to, but it’s not possible. She’s not interested in me that way.”
“It’s nice she had a visitor,” Gabe said, taking a huge sip of his juice. “It’s never easy starting over in a new town.”
Connor frowned. “A visitor? No, you’ve got it wrong. I don’t think any of her family or friends have come to see her. She’s been talking a lot about being homesick.”
Gabe scoffed. “Well, someone did. A man chartered a flight a few weeks ago. Lawson Charters had to communicate with his plane to make sure we weren’t in the same airspace. The plane landed at my hangar.”
His throat felt dry. Owl Creek was only accessible via plane and water. Coming to town wasn’t an easy process. Surely Gabe wouldn’t have gotten it wrong. Suddenly, Connor’s stomach was tied up in knots. This felt off. Why hadn’t Ella mentioned having a visitor, especially since she’d confided in him about yearning for her loved ones?
Rosie returned with their orders, but all of a sudden he wasn’t hungry. He knew that he wouldn’t even be able to swallow. Connor couldn’t shake off the feeling that once again Ella was hiding something.
“How do you know he was here to see Ella?” he asked Gabe.
Gabe locked gazes with him. “You know how small towns are. Nothing’s invisible. One of my mechanics spotted him coming and going from Ella’s house. And he said this wasn’t his first visit.”
Town gossips! He clenched his jaw as heat spread through his chest. Didn’t people in Owl Creek have anything better to do than flap their jaws? Resentment flooded him. He didn’t even know why he was getting so wound up over it, but he felt aggravated.
“I wish pe
ople would mind their business.” Connor angrily spit out the words.
“What are you getting so upset about?” Hank asked. His face was creased with a frown.
“I’m not upset,” Connor said, denying the raw emotions he was battling.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Gabe muttered. “Next time I’m going to mind my business.”
“You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves, Gabe,” he snapped.
“If that’s the case, I’m just going to ask... What’s bugging you?” Gabe asked. “From what you’ve said, you and Ella are just friends.”
“We are, but I can’t pretend I don’t wish something deeper has been brewing between us,” Connor said.
“Don’t be that guy, okay? Just because she had a man visit her, you can’t assume it was romantic,” Gabe said. “Don’t let a misunderstanding get in the way of something terrific.”
Although he was experiencing a little spurt of jealousy, that wasn’t the main issue. The bigger question was why hadn’t Ella told him a friend was flying into Owl Creek. Why were there so many things about her past she seemed to be hiding? Just who was Ella Perez? Gabe’s mention of the mysterious visitor to Owl Creek was the final straw. He’d allowed his feelings for Ella to cloud his judgment. He had suspected something was off with her since the very beginning.
“It’s not just that,” he said, letting out a deep sigh. “There’s a dozen reasons why I couldn’t allow myself to get involved with Ella. I would’ve had to push past every single doubt I had and allowed my heart to rule my head. And trust me, there have been times when I wanted to do just that.”
“We thought you’d put those issues to rest,” Hank said. “I guess we assumed since the two of you were spending a lot of time together that you trusted her. Even in a friendship that’s important.”
“To be honest, the doubts never went away. Maybe I was just fooling myself, thinking it wasn’t necessary to have full disclosure in a friendship. I can’t explain how overwhelming it is. It feels like a tidal wave is crashing over me.” He ran a shaky hand over his face.
“Talk to her,” Gabe said. “Tell her how you feel. Straighten things out before it festers, Connor.”
“I second that,” Hank added. “If you want to squash these reservations, put it all out there. Don’t leave anything unsaid. If she’s as special as you believe, she’ll have answers for you.”
Connor nodded. “Thanks. That’s exactly what I intend to do. And there’s no time like the present.” He gritted his teeth. “I need answers. And I need them now.”
Chapter Thirteen
Despite Gabe’s and Hank’s attempts to settle his nerves, Connor hadn’t been able to calm down. He hadn’t been able to eat his breakfast and he’d bolted from the diner as soon as the tab was paid. He didn’t even bother calling Ella before showing up at her house. They’d talked last night, and she’d told him she was going to be running some errands, but Connor was just going to take a chance she’d be there. When he pulled up, he spotted her truck outside the house, serving as confirmation that she was inside.
Finding out about her mysterious guest had caused something inside of him to crack wide-open. For the entire time Ella had been in Owl Creek, Connor had questioned her truthfulness. Now it felt like she’d smacked him straight in the face with her evasions.
Was he blowing things out of proportion? He didn’t want to barge into her house spewing accusations. His fervent hope was that she would have a simple answer to his question that would quell all of his uncertainties.
Lord, please give me clarity. I’m so confused right now, and I don’t want to let anger cloud my objective. I need answers from Ella. I want the truth. Please grant me the strength to deal with whatever she might tell me.
When he knocked on the door, Ella answered it with a look of surprise mixed with joy etched on her face. “Connor! I wasn’t expecting you. Come on in,” she said. Ella was treating him like a treasured guest, and it gutted him.
This wasn’t a friendly visit. He’d come here seeking answers, and he wasn’t going to allow her to deflect or steer him away from his purpose.
“Can I get you anything? I made some biscuits earlier and—”
“No,” he said quickly, cutting her off. He needed to talk to her before he lost his nerve. There was something about Ella that always made him feel badly about questioning her. “I’ve already had breakfast at the diner. I need to talk to you about something.”
“All right,” she said. “Why don’t we go to the living room and sit down?”
Connor trailed after her, all the while thinking of what he wanted to say. When Ella sat down on the couch, he resisted the urge to sit next to her. Instead he sat in a high-backed chair across from her.
“Is everything okay? You seem upset.”
He inhaled a calming breath. “I heard something earlier from Gabe. He said you had a visitor fly in from out of town. Is that true?” He was watching her reaction carefully, eager to see her response.
Ella looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She was staring at him with big eyes and picking idly at her long-sleeved shirt. “Yes, it’s true,” she said in a halting voice.
“Who is he?”
“H-he’s a friend.”
His jaw clenched. So why hadn’t she told him? Why had it been such a secret?
He knitted his brows together. “From where? What’s his name?”
“Connor, what’s going on? Why are you grilling me like this?” She wiped her hand across her forehead. She appeared to be nervous. In his heart he’d wanted her to be calm, cool and collected with nothing kept secret.
His heart sank. She was getting defensive and not giving him any of the answers he so desperately needed. Perhaps he was springing this on her, but if she wasn’t keeping him in the dark it shouldn’t be a problem. And it wasn’t just this omission. There had been so many piling up for weeks now. He cared so very deeply about her. Getting to the truth was the only way they might ever have a chance at a future together. And if he was being honest with himself, that’s what he wanted more than anything.
“Has he been here before?” he asked, his suspicions intensifying with every passing second.
Ella bit her lip. She nodded. “Yes. Once before. When I first came to Owl Creek he helped me get settled.”
A feeling of disbelief swept through him. Clearly this man was important to her. He wasn’t a member of her family, and yet she wasn’t doing much explaining about his presence in her life. If he didn’t suspect she was sitting on a world of secrets, maybe this development wouldn’t bother him so much. In many ways it was the final straw of weeks spent wondering about the skeletons in Ella’s closet. He’d had enough!
“His name is Jonah. Like I said, he’s a friend.”
“He flew all the way here, but you didn’t want to introduce him to anyone? Show him around town?” If Ella had toured a stranger around town, Connor would have heard about it. The town gossips would have had a field day over it. But at least it would have been done out in the open. It would make sense.
She looked down instead of meeting his gaze. “H-he wasn’t here long. There really wasn’t time for sightseeing.”
Connor shook his head. It made no sense. Ella was playing him for a fool and pretending as if her actions weren’t suspicious. It felt like she was gaslighting him.
“You said you’re not used to snow, but Flagstaff gets tons of it,” he blurted out. “You didn’t know how to drive in the snow. You were completely unnerved when I wanted to take your ID picture. You didn’t want your picture put online. And the very first day we met you didn’t answer me when I called out your name. How do you explain these inconsistencies?”
“I... I can’t explain those things, Connor.” Her tone was flat and unemotional.
“Can’t or won’t?” he asked. Frustration had gotten t
he better of him. Although he felt badly about blindsiding her with his questions, he’d been driven to the brink. He was trying to bridge this chasm between them, but she wasn’t giving him anything to hold on to. She wasn’t giving him any answers. Nothing made sense. At this point he wasn’t even sure he could justify a friendship with her based on all of her evasions. After what his family had experienced in the past, Connor knew better than to ignore warning signs.
Ella wasn’t even trying to make eye contact with him now. She was shutting down on him, and he had no idea of how to get through to her. Perhaps he was being too insensitive. Maybe she needed a sympathetic approach.
He softened his voice. “Ella, I know you might be scared. I think you’ve been through something that frightened you. I think there are things you haven’t been able to express.”
Ella’s expression was shuttered. How could she be this calm? She wasn’t reacting as if any of this was a big deal at all. Didn’t she care about how he felt?
“Ella, I grew up with secrets. My whole childhood was affected by lies and deception. I can’t go through that again. It hurt too much the first time. And that pain only recently began to heal with Sage’s return. I care about you, but I can’t be involved with someone who won’t be honest with me. The truth is too important to hide.”
“I understand,” she said calmly.
“Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” he asked, offering her a final chance to open up to him. “I’m here, Ella. Here beside you, willing to listen.”
For a moment he thought he’d gotten through to her. She met his gaze and he saw a spark of something in her eyes that made him believe she cared about him enough to unveil herself.
“No, Connor. There isn’t,” she answered.
Her response almost brought him to his knees. He’d been holding on to hope until this very moment and praying for her to come to her senses. Instead, she’d flatly rejected his plea. And judging by the reserved look on her face, it didn’t bother her at all.
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