He let out a ragged sigh, then stood up from his seat. “Thanks, Ella. You’ve made everything perfectly clear. I’ll see myself out.”
Just as he reached the door, Ella called out to him. “Connor. Wait!”
Hope rocketed inside of him. Please, God. Answer my prayer.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“I am, too,” Connor said before stepping out the door. He didn’t bother looking back. Ella had made it clear that she wasn’t willing to bend in order to be with him.
After he got in his truck, Connor roared down the road, trying his best to leave all thoughts of Ella Perez in his rearview mirror.
* * *
As she covertly peered through the window and watched Connor drive away, Isabelle’s heart cracked into a million pieces. She knew she should feel relieved that her friendship with Connor was over. At least now she wouldn’t have to feel guilty any longer about the secrets she was withholding from him. She wouldn’t have to agonize about every slip of the tongue or the answers she could never provide to his questions. Shouldn’t she feel free right now? Free from having to tell the man she loved more lies. Somewhere along the way she’d fallen in love with Connor, which totally explained the knifelike sensation twisting in her gut. He would no longer be involved in her life. She’d seen it written all over his face right before he left.
When she was a little girl, she’d had a habit of curling up into a little ball and shutting out the world anytime she had been in pain. Although she’d outgrown the habit, this fresh hurt made her long to revert back to old patterns. Maybe she could forget about Connor and her feelings for him. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt so badly if she stuffed them all down into a vast black hole and pretended as if nothing had happened between them at all.
When thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Yet she did feel terribly burned. She had gotten way too close to Connor, mistakenly believing that friendship would suffice even though her feelings had blossomed over time. Isabelle had hurt him. She’d seen the raw pain emanating from his eyes. He was a proud man who always tried to shield himself from emotional upheaval. It was a defense mechanism he’d constructed as a child due to the trauma of Sage’s abduction. And now, thanks to her, Connor was dealing with more anguish. She’d wounded him. And that knowledge caused a twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach. Tears swept down her face. She’d lost Connor’s goodwill and friendship. Their relationship had been littered with half-truths. The foundation had been weak at its core.
He didn’t even know her real name. She’d never had the pleasure of hearing him call her Isabelle. And now she never would. Everything felt bleak now. Suddenly her life in Owl Creek felt smaller and less substantial. Connor’s absence would leave a hole the size of Kachemak Bay.
Lord, please help me heal this broken heart. I love this man with all of my soul and I can’t erase what he means to me. The emotions run too deep. He’s too firmly embedded in my heart. And I fear he will always be there.
A knock on her door startled her from her prayers. Was it Connor? Had he come back to try to straighten things out? She raced to the door and flung it open, wanting nothing more than to see Connor’s handsome face greeting her. Her body sagged as she saw Sage standing at her doorstep.
“Sage,” she said. Isabelle could hear the disappointment lacing her own voice.
“Ella! Did you forget I was swinging by to pick you up?” Sage asked.
“Yes. No. I guess so,” she said. She’d made plans with Sage to check out the vintage store on Main Street. They were meeting up with Piper and Rachel so they could shop and have lunch together at the diner.
“What’s wrong? You look shattered. Did something happen?”
“Oh, no. I’m fine,” she said. Her voice was trembling and she could feel the hot sting of tears in her eyes. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face.
Sage reached out and pulled her into her arms. Something broke inside her as Sage began whispering soothing words of encouragement. Isabelle began to sob, huge heart-wrenching cries spilling out of her. She had been trying to hold it together for so long now. In the process she had stuffed down all of her feelings of distress, anxiety and pain. In order to make a successful transition to the Witness Protection Program, Isabelle had been forced to maintain a good-natured facade so as not to arouse suspicion. It had all taken a tremendous toll on her.
She wasn’t fine. Not by a long shot.
* * *
Connor wasn’t all right. The weight of pretending as if everything was fine was beginning to weigh on him. He’d managed to sit through a special dinner at his parents’ house without choking on his food. Thankfully, the dinner was in Piper and Braden’s honor. All attention was focused on their wedding tomorrow. Just watching the joyous couple made him think about Ella and all that she meant to him. It hurt so much to come to terms with the fact that she didn’t trust him enough to come clean. Why did this cause him so much angst? Why did she have such an effect on him?
Needing a breath of fresh air, Connor walked toward the front door, shrugging into his jacket before heading outside. The moon hung up in the velvety darkness like a beacon guiding travelers home. He thought back to the night he’d watched the blood moon with Ella and they’d shared tender kisses. That evening had been full of so much promise. Until the bottom had fallen out of his world.
How could he heal this awful ache inside of him when he couldn’t even look at an Alaskan sky without thinking about her? Missing her. Wanting to hold her in his arms. Wanting way more than he’d ever been able to claim.
A slight sound caused him to turn around. His grandfather was behind him, bundled up in his winter coat.
“What’re you doing out here? It’s pretty cold this evening.”
“I just needed to be alone with my thoughts,” Connor said. “No offense.”
“None taken. You’ve been awfully quiet lately. That’s not like you,” the older man observed.
“I’m just tired. I’ve been working too hard, I suppose.” He winked at his grandfather. “You need to tell that wife of yours to go easy on me.”
Jennings chuckled. “As if she’d listen.”
“I need to get some sleep before the wedding tomorrow. It’s going to be a big day for our family.” What he wasn’t saying was that sleep had been elusive lately. More times than not, he tossed and turned until the wee hours of the morning. All was not right within his soul.
“A joyful event. It’s just what we need after so many years of sorrow.”
For a moment they both settled into the silence. After all they had endured during the years when Sage was missing, a wedding truly was a blessed event.
Weeping may endure for a day, but joy cometh in the morning. The passage from Psalms resonated with him. It always reminded him of his family and what they’d been through. It was finally their time to experience unbridled joy.
“So, if you don’t mind my asking, what’s going on with you and Ella? I thought the two of you were on track to become Owl Creek’s next sweethearts.”
Connor made a face. “It never got off the ground. We were just too different, I suppose.” He didn’t want to tell his grandfather the nitty-gritty details that had prevented him from getting romantically involved with her.
“That’s a shame. She’s a fascinating woman.”
Connor turned toward his grandfather. “What do you mean? You barely know her.”
His grandfather chuckled. “I’m not just a bird-watcher, son. I’m a people watcher, too. I’ve only been in Ella’s presence a few times, but I came to the conclusion that she’s not as she appears to be.”
Connor let out a brittle laugh. “You’re way smarter than I am. It took me months to confirm it.”
Jennings narrowed his gaze as he looked at him. “And wha
t exactly did you deduce about Ella?”
“That she’s not a truthful person. I have no use for people I can’t trust.” He hated speaking badly about Ella, but he needed to be honest with his grandfather.
“Hmm. That’s not what I observed.”
“Don’t leave me hanging. I’d love to know your thoughts,” Connor said, folding his arms across his chest.
“I saw the pain beneath her beautiful exterior, along with a trace of fear. She tried to hide those things, but I recognized them. When I first met your grandmother, she radiated those same emotions. But, with time and patience, I broke through her tough exterior and found a sparkling diamond underneath.”
Connor couldn’t imagine two people being more different. His grandmother was as tough as an Alaskan winter on the tundra, while Ella reminded him of forget-me-nots—beautiful yet delicate. He didn’t quite see the resemblance.
“Why was grandmother in pain?” he asked.
“People come to us as they are. Beulah’s childhood was miserable. It’s one of the reasons she was so happy to join the North fold. She didn’t just emerge from the womb as the magnificent woman she is today. She grew and evolved over time. Imagine if I’d written her off back then?” Jennings had a contemplative expression on his face. “I would have missed out on so many wonderful moments.”
“You wouldn’t have lived out your amazing love story,” Connor said. “And I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Jennings nodded his head. “Amen. Connor, I’d like to ask you a question. Do you love her?”
The question was thrown at him like a curveball. All this time he’d been Ella’s friend. They’d never really moved past that stage. Did he love her? He’d never been in love before. Hadn’t even come close. He froze for a moment, overwhelmed by the reality of his situation. All of these emotions roiling around inside him added up to one thing. The realization hit him squarely in the chest. He was head over heels in love with Ella.
“Yes, I do. I love her more than I ever imagined I could love someone,” he confessed. Something told him that his grandfather already knew what he’d just admitted. He didn’t look at all surprised by Connor’s declaration.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? Loving her doesn’t negate the fact that she won’t open up to me about her past. How can I move forward without complete honesty? Not to mention I have no idea if she loves me.”
“You have to ask yourself what’s worse. Living a life with unanswered questions or living a life without the woman that you love. And if you truly love her, you need to start putting the pieces together. Why would she have come to a remote Alaskan town? Why is she so skittish? Add up everything you know about her. Fill in the blanks. Do some digging on your own.”
The words crashed over him with the force of a tsunami. They were powerful and heart-wrenching and moving. And it caused his brain to go into overdrive.
His grandfather put his arm around him. “Let’s go inside. Get some rest. You have a lot of thinking to do.”
He did. And even though he needed to get plenty of rest in preparation for Braden’s wedding festivities, something told him he wasn’t going to sleep a wink tonight. He was going to do a deep dive on the internet, checking in places like Arizona and Florida to see if he could unearth anything about any criminal cases. Perhaps she’d been a victim of an assault or a stalking. If there was even a shred of information, Connor was determined to find it.
* * *
Isabelle sat in her truck and looked out her window at the festively decorated church. Flowers had been artfully placed by the entrance along with pink ribbons and an elaborate wedding banner. She watched as guests streamed into the church. Most of them she recognized from around town.
Isabelle had thought about not attending the wedding, but after realizing it wouldn’t be right not to show up, she’d decided to honor her commitment. She looked in the rearview mirror, checking to make sure her hair and lipstick were in order. She knew there was a chance she might run into Connor. Her stomach was full of butterflies about how she should react to seeing him, especially now that she knew she was in love with him. Should she casually say hello or avoid him at all costs? It would be for the best if their paths didn’t cross. It would be easier for both of them.
A quick glance at her watch served as a warning to go inside the church before Piper made her grand entrance. Once inside, she made a point to sit toward the rear. She didn’t want to draw any attention to herself. She’d already had a few townsfolk question her about the rumors about her and Connor over the past week. It had been very awkward and uncomfortable. Somehow she’d managed to answer them tactfully.
From her vantage point she was able to see Connor standing right next to Braden at the altar. Even at this distance he caused a riot of emotions within her. Most of all, a yearning to be with him tugged at her. If only the situation was different.
When the wedding march played, three adorable toddlers teetered down the aisle—a pair of brown-skinned twins, Faith and Lizzie, who she knew belonged to Rachel and Gabe, along with Addie, Hank and Sage’s little girl. The little ones practically stole the show until Piper appeared with Hank at her side. Connor had told her that Piper’s dad, Jack, had died four years ago in a snowmobile accident. Isabelle imagined having her brother standing in as a substitute was an emotional moment. Tears pooled in Ella’s eyes as she watched Piper, resplendent in a white lace and tulle long-sleeved dress, glide by. There was nothing but pure joy etched on her lovely face. She looked like a fairy-tale princess.
Isabelle dabbed at her eyes throughout the awe-inspiring ceremony. Their vows were achingly romantic. When Piper and Braden were declared man and wife, they joined hands and walked back down the aisle followed by their bridal party. As Isabelle spotted Connor approaching, she braced herself for him to look away from her, but as he passed by, their eyes met. The way he stared at her caused her pulse to quicken. Instead of anger, Isabelle saw tenderness.
Stop being fanciful, she urged herself. If nothing else, Connor had made his feelings quite clear to her. He didn’t think she was a good person. That realization still hurt.
Isabelle waited till the church was almost empty before she exited. Given the circumstances, she didn’t think she would go to the reception at the North estate. It wouldn’t feel right since she and Connor were at odds. He should be able to enjoy his brother’s special day without any distractions. That’s what she was at this point.
When she pushed open the door and walked into the vestibule area, Isabelle sucked in a shocked breath. Connor was standing a few feet away with an earnest expression on his face. It was just the two of them in the corridor. Her first instinct was to retreat, but if the last few months had taught her anything at all, it was to tap into her inner strength. Fear thou not; for I am with thee. She wasn’t standing alone. He was always with her.
“Ella. It’s good to see you.” His deep, soothing voice was music to her ears.
Her stomach lurched. Why did he have to look so handsome in his dark suit and tie? Had his eyes always been so blue? It was true what they said. Absence made the heart grow fonder. Isabelle knew down to the days and hours how long it had been since they’d spoken to each other. She ached from missing him.
“Hey, Connor. How are you?” Isabelle forced the words out of her mouth. She was desperate to appear as if her heart hadn’t been crushed.
“I’d like to talk to you, if it’s all right?” he asked.
“Don’t you need to go to the reception?” Isabelle knew the bridal party and the family usually departed together. No doubt they would be looking for Connor outside.
“It can wait. I told them to go on without me.”
Isabelle nodded. “Okay,” she said, her mind whirling with questions. What could he possibly want to talk to her about? Hadn’t they already said it all? Her heart began
to thunder wildly inside her chest. Was she being fired from North Star Chocolates? That would be a devastating blow.
She raised a hand to her throat. “Are you letting me go from the chocolate shop?” she asked. What would she do for work now in Owl Creek? Did this mean she would be forced to relocate?
“Of course not,” he said. “Why would you ever think that?”
She let out a sigh of relief. “I... I really love working there and I just thought—”
“I’m sorry, Ella,” he said, cutting her off. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About you. About the things I know you’re keeping under wraps. The fear. Your inability to open up to me. The sketchy details about your life. I kept going back to that day in the chocolate shop when the car backfired. You were terrified. Now that I think about it, you were exhibiting signs of post-traumatic stress.” He took a deep breath. “I think you witnessed an act of violence. I think you’re here because you’re a witness. A few years ago Hank told Gabe and me about a program where witnesses to violent crimes are placed under protection and given a new identity.” His voice suddenly sounded hoarse. “I think that’s you, Ella.”
She let out a sob, then covered her mouth with her hand. Shock roared through her. Connor continued talking.
“I did some fishing around on the internet last night. At first I was searching Arizona cases, but then I looked in Florida since you mentioned spending time there. That’s when I found it. You provided testimony after witnessing your boss’s murder. Because of you, he was put away for a long time. But it didn’t stop his criminal enterprise from coming after you. Which, I suspect, is why you might have entered WITSEC. To save your life.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it before holding it out to her. “This is you, isn’t it? Isabelle Sanchez from Miami, Florida.”
Hiding in Alaska Page 16
