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Final Debt

Page 40

by Pepper Winters


  Evil had vanished. Only happiness remained.

  With no hesitation, I threw the burning paper onto the bonfire and watched with soul-singing satisfaction as the entire thing erupted with orange heat.

  The icy air was battered back as flames whipped into existence and my mind quieted from thoughts of Jacqueline, my mother, and secrets. My family stood all around me, cementing me in a brand new world where nothing could separate us.

  There was nothing else to say.

  The flames spoke for us.

  The smoke purged the past.

  And the crackling spoke of a future where no debts existed.

  SOOT TAINTED MY mouth.

  Smoke laced my hair.

  And my eyes still burned with sparkling orange and yellow from the bonfire. We’d stayed vigil for hours. Nila and Vaughn were the only ones who threw the documented debts onto the flames.

  The rest of us paid our respects and supported them silently.

  I didn’t save any evidence. I didn’t put aside valuable proof to incarcerate the men who’d hidden my family’s secrets. Partly, because their sins were our sins and it would be hypocritical to lay the blame at their feet when we all shared the crime. And mostly, because I wouldn’t use others’ pain as a bargaining chip.

  I had more respect than that.

  If the lawyers wanted to play and proved to be a problem when sorting out the final paperwork, then I had other means in which to hurt them. More just means. We’d dealt outside the law for so long, a few more ‘loose ends’ could be managed in the same way.

  Tex had stared ahead, his hands clasped and face hard. If I let myself feel what he went through, I’d suffer a clout of shellshock. He hugged Emma’s last remains, twirling her engagement ring from the box as if he could invoke a spell to bring her back.

  But nothing would bring her back.

  Nothing could undo what Emma had announced.

  And I feared what Nila would do once the wounds of tonight had been tended to and she’d had more time to think about the sudden revelation of having a sister.

  I hid my derisive snort. Daniel had been right, after all. His stupid joke in the car about stealing the wrong sister—he’d meant nothing by it—a stupid ploy to unsettle Nila even more.

  But somehow, he’d guessed the unthinkable.

  There’d been another Weaver.

  A firstborn girl hidden from us.

  Jacqueline.

  A few minutes older than Vaughn. A few minutes older than Nila.

  The love of my life had been sacrificed to a fate that wasn’t hers to bear.

  Did that make me happy or sad?

  Happy she’d become mine?

  Sad I’d put her through so much?

  Who was Jacqueline?

  What did she look like? How would she have reacted?

  My hands balled.

  One thing I was certain of—whoever Jacqueline was, she wasn’t Nila. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her. I wouldn’t have broken my vow or bowed at her feet.

  Jacqueline wouldn’t have changed history.

  Succumbing to torrenting thoughts, I remained silent, locked where I would stay for the rest of my life—beside Nila.

  I didn’t leave as she threw paperwork and audio and video into the raging flames. Every time Nila looked my way, I kissed her. I passed her file after file, delivering my family’s crimes into her hands to dispose of.

  Only once the grass was empty of history did we disperse our separate ways. The fire would continue to rage on its own while we retired to different corners to rest, revalue, and regroup.

  Textile was the first to disappear, wordlessly hugging Emma’s box and disappearing into the orchard grove.

  Vaughn rolled Jasmine toward the Hall, her wheels sucking in the mud of her tracks from carting so many files earlier in the evening.

  Nila and I—we headed back to my quarters.

  Her cheeks smudged with ash and charred pieces of paper decorated her hair and lined her jacket hood. She looked as if she’d been in a battle. She looked endlessly tired.

  Entering the bachelor wing and my bedroom—our bedroom—I shrugged out of my jacket and draped it over an ancient sideboard.

  Nila drifted to the middle of the carpet, staring blankly at the bed.

  My heart clenched. All I wanted to do was take away the weight of decision and grant her peace. Moving behind her, I unzipped her jacket and slid it off her arms.

  The scents of fire and fresh air licked around her.

  “Do you want a shower?” I asked softly, massaging her shoulders.

  She jumped, startled by my voice after only the crackle of fire as conversation. Turning to lock herself in my embrace, she shook her head. “I don’t need a shower.” Her voice echoed with need for something else. I didn’t need to ask what she needed—I already knew.

  I knew far more than I should.

  However, I was respectful of granting some semblance of boundaries.

  Nila had a lot to sort out internally. I wouldn’t make it worse knowing she couldn’t pretend she was okay when I knew completely she was not.

  So even though I didn’t need to, I asked anyway, “What do you need…”

  Her head tilted up, her black eyes flashing with ebony fire. “You.” She stood on tiptoes, pressing her lips to mine. “I need you.”

  My cock thickened; my heart raced.

  I needed her, too. So fucking much. More now than ever as she was currently lost to me. She didn’t know how to take her position within this life. She didn’t know how to admit to herself that if she hadn’t been chosen over Jacqueline, she would never have met me. Never have fallen for me. And I would never have fallen for her.

  I groaned as the true worry of her thoughts rose.

  I didn’t want to pry, but I couldn’t let her think such incorrect things.

  “I wouldn’t have loved her, Needle.”

  She gasped, her kiss stalling.

  I parted her lips with my tongue, feeding her the truth. “Only you. I don’t care she was supposed to be my inheritance. I don’t care you took her place. In fact, I’m so fucking glad.”

  Her breath hitched as I kissed her harder, crushing her to me. “I’m so happy it was you because you cured me, fixed me. I love you, Nila. Not her. Not anyone else. You.”

  Her arms, both good and broken, slung around my neck, pulling me hard against her mouth. I let her guide me to bed. I let her control the kiss. I let her grab my shirt and pull me down upon her. And I let her control whatever she needed.

  I’d give her anything she ever wanted.

  I’d spend the rest of my life ensuring she never had to doubt my feelings for her.

  She was it for me.

  It didn’t matter if lies brought us together.

  Fate had decided we were matched.

  And we’d fulfilled that prophecy by falling head over fucking heels.

  I WOKE UP the same way I’d fallen asleep.

  By Jethro making love to me.

  We’d remained wrapped in each other’s arms for a few vacant hours of sleep. I didn’t dream. I didn’t fret. I just slept and recharged after such a long emotional day.

  Jethro roused me with kisses and touches, bringing me to a soft release before carrying me into the shower to wash.

  After the bonfire, the sun had already risen on a new day.

  The day.

  The day we said goodbye to Kestrel.

  I feared I’d be tired as Jethro and I dressed quickly, slipping into jeans and jackets and boots. I feared I’d be muddled with sleep deprivation as we ate a quick lunch in the kitchen and strode over the gardens to the stables.

  But I didn’t need to fear.

  The time with Jethro had recharged me better than sleep.

  During the bonfire, I couldn’t think about my mother without wanting to howl at the moon and demand her explanation. I wanted to kick and punch my father for holding such a terrible secret my entire life. And I wanted to hold
Vaughn because it wasn’t just me this news affected.

  We’d been raised as each other’s everything. Twins. Best friends. Confidants.

  To find out we were actually only two-thirds of a complete sibling set—it hurt.

  Jacqueline.

  Tex said he would continue to track down the adoptive family. He hadn’t been strong enough until now to find the truth.

  Then again, maybe strength kept him away.

  I was third born.

  I should never have had to pay the debt.

  But I had, and I’d ended it.

  Jacqueline owed her life to my parents for saving her. But her future children owed me their safety.

  Jethro took my gloved hand as we stepped from the sun’s glare into the musky world of the stables. “Are you ready?”

  Cobblestones and hay welcomed along with memories of Jethro tenderly cutting my hair, putting me back together again with the same implement that’d destroyed me. Stable hands bustled about, gathering saddles and bridles, tending to the horses.

  My heart leapt as I noticed Moth.

  Kes’s horse.

  My horse.

  The bridge between us I’d always cherish.

  Squeezing his fingers, I nodded.

  His lips smiled, but his eyes fought tears.

  Today would be hard for him. But I would be there. I would always be there.

  He sucked in a deep breath. “Okay, then.”

  Together, we prepared to say goodbye to Kestrel Hawk.

  “YOU SURE YOU want to do this?” I eyed Jasmine as Vaughn manhandled our gentlest horse from its box. The grooms had already combed, saddled, and prepared six mounts.

  I’d planned this day for the past week.

  I wanted it to be perfect.

  “Stop asking me that. Yes, I’m sure.” Jasmine wheeled herself awkwardly over the cobblestones, her wheels catching and stalling on the uneven surface. But she didn’t complain. Not once did she curse or lament. Her disability had finally been accepted and she no longer hid away in the house, regretting the life she would never have.

  Her acceptance had come from a multitude of things. Vaughn Weaver’s unwavering attention had been one of those things but so had Kes’s death. His passing at such a young age shook all of us. Yes, she’d lost the use of her legs but she hadn’t lost her life like our brother.

  “Lead her over there.” I pointed V at the already erected platform I’d had the Hawksridge carpenters create.

  Originally, I’d planned to put Jasmine in a carriage, safely protected by walls and wheels. But the moment I told her the plan, she argued. She used to ride a lot with Kes and me when we were younger. She wanted to share one last ride with him…before he was gone.

  I’d done my best to persuade her but she was damn stubborn when her mind was set.

  I didn’t interfere as Vaughn did his best to guide Claret to the mounting block. However, the Roan had other ideas—hay being her main focus.

  Vaughn cursed under his breath, doing his best to yank the mare forward. “Come on, you bloody animal.”

  Christ, at this rate we wouldn’t get out of the stables until dark.

  Nila laughed as I stormed forward and grabbed the reins. Taking responsibility for the horse, I pointed Vaughn to a new task. “Help my sister up the ramp. I’ll move Claret into position.”

  Tex entered the stable. His eyes darted from the horse to Jasmine in her chair. He wisely didn’t mention her safety and focused on his own discomfort instead. Rubbing the back of his nape, he said, “You sure I have to be on a nag? Can’t I follow on foot?”

  Nila went to her father and looped her arm through his. “Kes would’ve wanted us all there. Please, do it for me. We need to honour his final goodbye.” Pecking his cheek, Nila smiled, completely winning over her father within moments.

  Try saying no to her.

  Hell, I couldn’t.

  Hiding my smugness, I let my condition fan out. Tex still confused me. He’d stood up for his daughter in the end. He’d helped put an end to our family’s madness, but inside, he still wallowed in self-hatred and guilt. That guilt ate at him like acid. If he didn’t find a way to forgive himself—he’d be dealing with his own mortality in the form of sickness.

  Tearing my eyes from Nila and her father, I marched forward. Swatting the mare with the tips of the reins, she plodded onward, submitting to my direction as I led her around the newly-erected ramp.

  Vaughn grabbed Jasmine’s chair. Almost shyly, he tucked her jaw-length hair behind her ear before hurtling her like a fucking rocket up the ramp.

  Goddammit.

  “Shit!” Jasmine grabbed the handrails, ferocity etching her face.

  “Just thought I’d make sure you were awake.” Vaughn chuckled.

  “Yes, well, I’d like to keep awake and not dead for as long as I possibly can.” Her fake anger couldn’t hide her enjoyment that Vaughn didn’t treat her like a china doll.

  Unfortunately, her emotions couldn’t lie. Her heart skipped a beat whenever that damn Weaver was around.

  Nila came to stand by me, her delicate hand landing on my wrist. “Stop scowling. I know what you’re thinking.”

  I didn’t look at her. The more time she spent with me, the more she could read me. She might not be able to keep secrets from me, but I couldn’t keep them from her, either. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  She smiled. “Yes, you do.” Her eyes shouted: My brother likes your sister.

  I clenched my jaw, ignoring her.

  Claret stomped, tossing her head as Vaughn bumped her going around to the front of Jasmine’s chair. His eyes locked on Jaz’s. “Remember the last time you asked me to be your legs?”

  Jaz cocked her head, her gaze flickering to me. “Yes.”

  “Did I drop you?”

  She frowned. “No.”

  “Good, so you trust me?”

  Her tongue swept over her bottom lip. Fuck, she was flirting with him. “Perhaps.”

  “That’s good enough, I guess.” Bending, he smiled. “Put your arms around my shoulders.”

  My stomach knotted, wanting to tell him to be careful, but Jaz immediately looped her arms around him and allowed him to scoop her useless legs from the chair.

  I’d never seen Jaz so open to trusting someone she hadn’t vetted and investigated within an inch of the law before. Yet she accepted Vaughn so easily.

  Holding her in his arms, he completely forgot about the rest of us and the over-packed stable.

  I coughed deliberately.

  Vaughn grinned not giving an arse what I thought. Murmuring in her ear, he carefully placed Jasmine on Claret. Her useless legs wouldn’t straddle the horse, but Vaughn held her aloft so Jaz could grab her jodhpurs and sling herself into position.

  Once Jaz sat on the horse, she nodded. “You can let me go now.”

  V did as she requested, looking at me for instruction.

  Leaving Nila, I climbed the ramp and checked the girth was tight, Jaz’s legs were anchored and buckled to the custom saddle, and her balance was correct. The pommel came up extra high and the back of the saddle cradled her back with cushioning and a seatbelt.

  She’d have to be careful of sores and bruises as she wouldn’t be able to feel but she was as safe as she could be on a beast.

  “Ready for your first ride?”

  I’d never seen Jaz’s eyes so bright. The thought of doing something she’d given up granted a smidgen of magic on this melancholy day. “Never been more ready.”

  Fighting my brotherly protectiveness, I passed her the reins. “You sure?”

  Her lips pursed as she stole the leather. “Positive.”

  Giving her a dressage whip, I climbed down the ramp. The whip was longer than a hunting version and meant she could encourage Claret to move without having to kick or twist.

  Moving toward Wing’s stall, I stopped dead as Nila came out of Moth’s enclosure already sitting on the dapple grey.

  So m
any times in the past fortnight I’d thought of Kes. Pictured him still living and joking and teasing. Laughing. Filling the holes of our lives with antidotes only he could.

  But my brother was gone and his horse, who he so generously gave to Nila, remained.

  My heart skipped a beat as Nila pulled to a stop, her eyes drowning with love. For me. Love…something I never thought I’d earn.

  I marched to the side of the large dapple and grabbed her wrist. “Kiss me.”

  The one sentence that started it all. The command that broke my every resolve.

  Nila smiled softly. “When you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?” Bending in her saddle, I stood on my toes to reach her delicious mouth.

  It wasn’t a slow kiss or even erotic. Just a quick affirmation we belonged to each other and always would.

  Reluctantly, I let her go. Vaughn had managed to help Tex climb onto a large Clydesdale called Bangers and Mash, and a stable hand in turn helped V clamber on top of a newer addition to the stables called Apricot.

  “Head on out, everyone. I’ll catch up.”

  Jaz obeyed, flicking her whip and urging Claret forward. A procession disappeared out the barn. Tex followed gingerly, his hands tight on the reins while V chuckled, shaking his head at his father’s nervousness.

  Their lack of skills was what happened when you worked in a factory all your life.

  Now Nila was mine, I intended to share.

  I wanted to show her Hawksridge.

  I wanted to teach her how to play polo.

  I wanted her to help me run the empire of diamonds and run so many facets of my world.

  I also wanted to enter hers.

  I wanted to travel with her on her runway shows.

  I wanted to watch her sew and spend hours just sitting beside her as she crafted exquisite designs from nothing.

  I want everything.

  Moth snorted as Nila prevented her from following the others into the sunshine. “Do you want me to stay?”

  My insides glowed with affection. “No, I’ll only be a minute.”

  Swatting Moth on the rump, I sent Nila out to join our family. Retrieving my important requirement, I headed to Wings and secured the saddlebag to the pommel. “Ready, boy?”

  Wings snorted, his eyes black and endless.

 

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