Forgiving You

by Melissa Bender

  “Come in me,” I begged, and that’s when he let go, his thrusts hitting me deeper as he came, slowing down until he stopped, but still kept kissing me.

  “You’re incredible.” He smiled lifting his head. “Christ, I missed that.”

  I smiled, nodding. “Me too. It was amazing.”

  Placing feathered kisses, he smiled. “I love you,” he said, and before I could respond, his mouth was back on mine and cock was firming up inside of me.

  When we woke the next morning, we were still tangled up beside each other. Chris’s fingertips were grazing softly up and down my naked stomach as I looked up to find him staring right back at me. I held him back, feeling content for once in my life.

  “Did Lucy sleep all night?” I asked, still tired and sore. Very sore, but in an incredible way.

  He nodded. “I checked on her not long ago. She’s fast asleep and snoring.”

  “All night? I can’t believe that.” I was expecting her to scream and wake up constantly.

  “She’s a good baby. I think she likes her room.” He grinned sleepily, I loved how he looked in the mornings; his deep sleepy voice was husky and so sexy.

  I pouted. “She’s too little to be on her own.”

  Chris chuckled. “I’m sure she’s okay. How are you feeling about last night?” he then asked a little more serious. I could only think that he thought I was regretting it.

  I reached up and ran a hand through his black hair. “I feel amazing, it was incredible, and you were perfect. Why? Do you regret it?”

  “No, not at all.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

  I felt my insides melting as he kissed me harder than what he did last night. He was turned on, and I didn’t mind the slightest. I pulled him closer to me, raising my hips as he thrusted deep inside me.

  I needed him as much as he needed me.

  A knock on the door pulled us apart from each other’s sweaty bodies. “Lucy is up!” Adam spoke with a laugh.

  Chris and I groaned until he called out to Adam with humour in his voice. “There’s a bottle in the fridge, and you know how to change her.”

  I held in my giggle as Adam groaned, scoffing and calling us sick people, warning Chris that he better not be naked with his sister. Chris’s lips then came back on mine. “Daddy is a bit busy right now.”

  “Oh, is he just?” I wiggled my brows and pulled him back down to me, kissing him and picking up where we left off.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Babe, does this look okay?” I called out as I fixed the shoulder on my red clinging-very-well-to-my-body cocktail dress that just sat just mid-thigh. It was seriously a hot-to-kill look.

  I could hear him chuckling. “If we weren’t late, I’d be fucking you again right now. I promise you look beautiful.”

  I rolled my eyes as I met him. He was wearing a pair of navy fitted jeans and a fitted grey V-neck shirt. I groaned at how hot he was. “You know, you have to say that I’m the prettier one. You traded up,” I warned.

  Chris sighed, shaking his head. “She’s got nothing on you. Stop worrying, please?”

  We were going out for dinner. Unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend was going to be there, and I had yet to see what she looked like. I was super jealous, like madly and insanely jealous. This bitch had seen my man naked.

  “Fine.” I huffed and grabbed my purse only for Chris to put his hand over mine.

  Shaking his head as he spoke and lifted my hand up, “You don’t need that, Char.”

  I laughed, rolling my eyes. “You always do this. I have money you know.”

  His brows shot up as I had rolled my eyes. “I don’t give a fuck. I’m paying, and that’s the end of it. Save your money for when we go on a holiday or something. You can buy the dinners then.”

  “You said that last time and still didn’t let me pay!” I grumbled, and he shut me up with a kiss.

  Running half hour late as kissing turned into sex on the bench, we finally made it to the restaurant. The place was packed, and I spotted his friend, Cary, right away. Chris pulled my chair out after we reached them and then took a seat beside me.

  “So, what took you so long?” a dark-haired woman asked. If I had known better, I would have said she was pissed or jealous.

  Chris ignored her, and I went to ask why until it hit me. She was the ex.

  I had warned him not to talk to her tonight. If he did, then he will be on the couch for a month. He knew I was being completely serious. Hell, I wasn’t going to watch him and his ex be all chatty. It actually relieved me that he ignored her. She was very pretty, but I was hotter. Well, I had to tell myself that.

  “Charlotte, is it?” she spoke again, and Chris’s hand slid on my thigh, rubbing me gently.

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “So, how long have you two been together for?” she asked again, the whole table grew silent as they watched this encounter between us.

  “Almost six months,” I answered her.

  She smiled, licking her lips and tossing her long hair over her shoulder. “I bet he hasn’t given you a key to his penthouse. I was with him over a year, and I never stepped inside it.”

  I grinned wide as I looked at Chris and lent over to kiss him. I looked back at her and couldn’t believe I was jealous of her. “We moved in together after four weeks of dating. He’s a keeper, so thanks for cheating on him. Although, I’m sure you would have fucked it up some other way. But still, he and I are happy and in love. You can’t come between us, so don’t even try,” I spoke so calmly and politely. If an outsider had seen her and me talking, it would have looked normal and not me being a complete bitch to her.

  “I love you,” Chris spoke after we’d eaten our entrée. We’d managed to avoid any further discussion with the ex. She didn’t speak much to anyone. Chris leaned closer to me after the normal conversation had picked back up. “I need you. Now.”

  I turned to face him, “Want to fuck in a bathroom?”

  “Yes.” He laughed and excused himself from the table.

  Sitting there a couple minutes, I was eager to run off and go find him. When I did, he was hard and ready for me.

  ***

  This morning, I was an emotional mess. Chris had his appointment, which I was getting ready for, but then he told me he didn’t want me to come. I couldn’t understand why. Why wouldn’t he want me there? Even if it was just for support. I wanted to know what was going on.

  “Char, don’t cry.” He sighed, wrapping the towel around his toned waist and grabbing another to dry his dark hair.

  I refused to talk to him. I just turned around in the shower and let more tears spill out. jumping as I felt a set of arms wrapping back around me. “Please don’t cry, baby. If it means that much, then you can come. I just didn’t think you’d want to wait around all day, and well, I didn’t think you’d want to leave Lucy.”

  He had a point, but today, my husband came first. I needed to be there for him and show him I was still in this. I wasn’t giving up.

  “I want to come, Chris. I want to hear this all because I know you’ll sugarcoat it and say you’re okay, even when you’re not. Clearly, it’s serious if they have asked you to come back in.” I turned in his arms; his thumb reached and rubbed the salty tears from my eyes.

  “Okay. You can come with me, sweetheart. I want you to come.”

  “Again?” I asked with a seductive voice.

  He laughed. “You’re not getting away that easy.” He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, leading us back into the water and getting us both wet all over again. Joined as one.

  The feeling of being so close, was a feeling that had me going crazy for him.

  After our lovemaking, Chris finished getting ready as I tended to Lucy. When he came in, he headed straight over to Lucy and lifting her up from her rocker swing. “Hey, baby girl. Daddy missed you,” he spoke, kissing her forehead.

  He was amazing with her. I knew he was going to be an amazing father, but to see him in
action, to see him changing her nappy and feeding her . . . not once had he complained about any father duty he was asked to do.

  I made us both a coffee and one for my brother who was sitting at the dining table, hard at work. “Thanks.” He took a sip and groaned. “Oh, Mum and Dad called.”

  “Did they ask to speak to me?” I asked hopefully.

  He sighed as I handed him the coffee, “Nah, don’t worry about them. They will come around eventually.”

  I scoffed. They hadn’t responded to my texts, nor did they answer the phone when I called. “Yeah, right. Anyway, I have a favour to ask you, favourite brother of mine.”

  “If it involves being your puppet while you photograph me, the answer is no.”

  Rolling my eyes, I ignored him. “Can you watch over Lucy while we go to Chris’s appointment? I really want to go and be there for him. I’m really worried, Adam,” I said quieter.

  He nodded. “First off, don’t worry. Second, you know I will watch over my niece. Lastly, Chris will be fine. It’s just all the stress from work. He’s doing a tougher job than I am. He’s got a lot of shit coming down on him from the other partners for taking off, and then all that shit you both went through. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he had a heart attack.”

  I slapped his arm hard. “Don’t say that!” I warned and stalked off towards the kitchen.

  Two hours later, I bid a tearful goodbye to my little girl. I didn’t want to be that kind of mum, but I couldn’t help it. Chris laughed it off, but the fact he’d text Adam three times already told me he was just as worried as I was.

  I let out a yawn, unfastening the belt as Chris pulled up in the car park. “We need an early night tonight.”

  “Yeah, an early night sounds good. I was thinking the three of us should go to the zoo one day; it could be fun, and we haven’t been there for a while. What do you think?”

  I smiled. “First family outing. She’s too little to remember anything, but it will be fun to go there together again.”

  We walked hand in hand towards the front of the entrance, and I clung to him tighter. My nerves were picking back up. I was willing myself not to panic. There was going to be nothing wrong. It was all stress and from work, just like Adam told me.

  Checking in and taking a seat next to each other in the packed waiting room, Chris reached over and took hold of my hand. “Do you want to come in?” he asked.

  My eyes looked at him. “Yes, if you want me in there. I can wait out here if you like?” I asked quietly as the man across from us looked at me. I realised what I was saying and shook my head. “Yes, of course, I will come in. I didn’t come to sit and wait.”

  Chris smiled and kissed my hand. “Okay. Good.”

  When the doctor came back out, I became more nervous. “Christopher Rivers?”

  Chris and I stood up, following her and then making our way towards the small room. Everything white and stark-looking. It was all so cold-feeling and very medical-like. At least, when I was pregnant, the room was a little pretty.

  “Christopher, tell us what’s been bothering you?” Dr. Hallow asked, her face giving a warm smile, reaching for her blood pressure equipment as Chris rolled up his sleeve.

  Chris filled her in, mentioning the shortness of breaths and swelling in his legs at time, always feeling tires and rarely hungry. To be honest, the way he described what was happening scared me. I knew nothing of this, only that he suffered from bad migraines.

  The more frightening part was when the doctor rushed around on her chair and reached for a needle and six little tubes.

  “Okay, I’m going to do blood tests, check for everything. You’re going to get a full medical check-up. I am concerned, and I will get you into neurology for a brain scan, as well as a body scan. I understand you’re a busy man, so I will get a rush on these and make sure you have your results by the end of day. I will make it happen just to give you both peace of mind.” She patted Chris’s leg, and he kept his poker face on. He didn’t give anything away at all.

  I, on the other hand, had to bite the insides of my cheeks and hold onto the tears that wanted to rush out like a frantic waterfall.

  Half an hour later, we were heading to the X-ray lab. Neither of us had spoken to each other. I didn’t really know what to say, and I don’t think Chris did either. It was a comfortable silence, but the looming gloom hanging over us made it a little bit uncomfortable.

  Chris pulled me to a stop as I reached for the doors, pulling me back from the passing people and cupping my cheeks. “Please don’t come in here. I can’t have you in there when all you’re doing is trying not to cry.”

  I nodded as more tears formed. He didn’t want me around.

  “Okay,” I whispered out.

  Uttering that simple word was killing me.

  He kissed my lips softly, but then more forceful. “I will meet you in the car. I’m sorry, I just can’t do this with you around me, baby. It’s killing me to see you so upset when I may be completely fine. You’re making me nervous.”

  I nodded. I did understand where he was coming from. “Okay. I will meet you in the car. I love you, Chris.”

  He smiled and kissed me once more, letting me go and walking into another office.

  I was probably overreacting, but I saw the look of worry in the doctor’s eyes. I couldn’t lose him. I loved him, but an ache in my stomach was still there. It had been there since he left me in that hospital and it’s still there now. It’s telling me I haven’t forgiven him yet. I wish wished it would go away. I wished it would leave me alone and just let me be happy for an hour with that day burning into my mind.

  I let out a yawn and wiped my eyes. I didn’t know how long I was in the car crying for, but when Chris opened the door, he was holding a bag full of what I was guessing was lunch. He had brought something to eat for us. He looked at me like I was crazy. “Char, how long have you been crying for?”

  “Since I sat down,” I admitted, taking the bag as he passed it over. I peered in and pulled out the mixed sandwiches and drinks. The hot deep-fried food smelled so good, making my mouth water.

  He slid in beside me, chuckling but still shook his head. “Baby, fuck, I don’t know what to say to even make you feel better. I know the food helps, but my words are useless. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing, Chris. Maybe it’s me being over hormonal still. My period is coming in, and I have to get used to that again. It’s just my body going stupid.” That was a lie. “I’m sorry.”

  He looked at me, and I should know better than to lie to a lawyer. He knew my signs, and my giveaway was not making eye contact.

  “I’m going to ask again; this time, don’t bullshit me.”

  I sighed and blew out a hard breath. “I just want you to be okay. I’m worried.”

  “Well, don’t be. Everything is going to be okay.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  Silence.

  All that filled the car was silence as we sat there after eating. Sure, we spoke and called Adam to see how Lucy was going on. He said she was sleeping, and to stop worrying.

  Unexpectedly, Chris reached over and took my hand. “Can you do something for me? I’m being serious. I need to know something,” Chris spoke quietly.

  I nodded, my throat hurting as I swallowed. “Anything. I will do anything for you,” I spoke honestly.

  “Don’t leave, Charlotte. I need you. I will always need you, and I know you deserve better, but I can get us back to how we were. I can make you look at me the way you used to. I can get that feeling back you feel each morning when you wake up. Please let me show you just how much you need me, just like I will always need you.”

  I looked at him and smiled quietly. “I’m not going anywhere, Chris. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I let out a squeal as he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

  Leaning forward, the window fogged up as I traced a finger over his jaw, his hands both placed o
n my waist as he leant in. His phone rang just as our lips were about to touch. The call blared through our ears as he slid his hand in his pocket and pulled out his iPhone.

  “It’s the doctor,” he said quietly.

  “Already?” I asked, that was a lot quicker than I expected.

  Chris nodded. “We’ve been sitting in here for a couple hours. You’ve been crying for most of that time.” He winked and answered the call. It was true. Damn hormones.

  I zoned the conversation out, not wanting to hear anything at all. I wanted the conversation to come to an end. I wanted to hear the words ‘you’re fine.’

  But I didn’t.

  Chris hung up and looked at me, letting out a sigh as he, instead, crashed his lips to mine. Kissing me deep and desperately. A loving kiss with all the hunger coming into it. My hands were running through his hair, tugging as he squeezed my ass, pushing me down into his growing middle.

  “Chris.” I breathed out, needing to catch my breath. “I love you.”

  He looked at me and smiled. “I love you too.”

  We kissed a little more. Kissing and rubbing up against each other’s bodies. I moaned over his mouth and pulled back again. His lips kissed down my neck, sucking lightly.

  In the end, our make out had fogged up the tinted windows, and I was growing restless. Pulling away abruptly, I groaned. “Tell me. Just say it.” I just needed to hear it. I needed to have the Band-Aid ripped off and just be told the news.

  He sighed and shook his head. “I’m good. I’m all good, baby.”

  I smiled and held him close, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly. I was so relieved. I was so happy and felt a sudden wave of nausea escape my body. I felt better than I did hours ago. I can’t believe I was so worried over nothing.

  Or so I thought.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Chris, why are we out in the middle of the woods for?” I asked as he took my blindfold off of my head and wrapped his arms around my waist.