Awaken Online- Flame

by Travis Bagwell

  But he still remembered using his vision.

  He still remembered that blank void where Julia should have been.

  Had he seen her with his Mana Sight before? Surely, he had. He’d used the ability numerous times over the last few days in-game.

  Even as that thought crossed his mind, it gave him pause. Had he really, though? It always seemed like Julia was standing just to his shoulder… or she had backed out of the way or around a corner at the last second. Or she had volunteered to go scout while he and Kyyle worked on casting her shield and making the new explosives.

  Finn was watching his daughter now, his attention not going unnoticed. She met his gaze, and he saw confusion morph into uncertainty, then a flash of understanding, then a sudden fear as she raised her hands. “No… don’t,” Julia began.

  “Mashhad,” Finn murmured, squeezing his eyes shut.

  Despite her natural speed, there was no way his daughter could have moved out of his field of view in time. And yet, he didn’t see her in the cave – only the circular green shield leaning against the boulder where she had been sitting a moment before. She had either teleported out of the way, or she was invisible to his sight…

  Finn deactivated the ability, and his eyes snapped open.

  His daughter was still sitting there, but now her hands were twisting in her lap, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes. If she wasn’t visible to his sight, then the most likely answer was that she didn’t have any mana. But there was only one group of people with that particular affliction – as far as he knew.

  “Your mana was purged,” Finn said, his voice barely a whisper. Yet it still drifted through the quiet cavern like a shout, his daughter flinching at the words.

  “Wait, what?” Kyyle asked, his head whipping around as he looked at Julia.

  Finn rubbed at his face. Several of the unusual facts he had collected over the last few weeks started to click together in his head.

  “What do you mean, purged?” Kyyle pressed Finn when he didn’t respond immediately. “Was Julia a mage? I thought she hated the mages…” He hesitated as he saw her shoot him a glare, moisture blooming in her eyes.

  Finn let out a sigh. Abbad had urged them to stay silent about the purge procedure, but the librarian must have known what they had done to his daughter – that was why he had made that cryptic remark about Julia. Hell, for all he knew, the stoic asshole had watched as they strapped her to that damn table and inserted molten metal into her Najima.

  Fuck him. Finn wasn’t going to keep his secret. What was the librarian going to do anyway? They were already trapped down here in this hellhole.

  “The mages purge mana by forcibly damaging the body’s Najima,” Finn explained. “They drain the mana first and then insert molten metal into each node. The body heals but can no longer absorb or store mana passively. My guess is the metal stays in place, even after a player respawns – like some sort of permanent body augmentation. Although, having seen it myself, the procedure would be…”

  “Excruciating,” Julia muttered, her eyes now on the floor.

  For his part, Kyyle’s eyes had widened in shock. “Those… those assholes,” he spat, anger coloring his voice. “I fucking hated the guild before, but that’s just…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

  Finn could sympathize. He wasn’t sure there was anything he could say that would make it better. He could already feel fury boiling in his veins, his mana threatening to buck the reins of his control. Yet he tamped down on the feeling. It wouldn’t help him. The real target of his ire was a few thousand feet above them and a few hundred miles away.

  Right now, his only focus should be on his daughter.

  As he watched Julia, Finn saw her crumple in on herself, a single droplet of moisture falling to the stone floor and sizzling on the super-heated rocks – a lone streamer of steam drifting up through the air.

  Her purge had other implications. It began to explain why she had broken into the guild in the first place – intent on getting him out of there. Why she had seemed to know the layout of the guild hall. She must have been a student at some point, likely back during the beta. It also suddenly explained her unnatural strength and speed. Why she was familiar with the city and the sands. How she knew so much about the Khamsin.

  As that last thought crossed his mind, Finn’s brow furrowed. They had also been attacked at the edge of the Abyss by opponents that had been invisible to his sight – what he had been calling “sand wraiths.” Had they actually been more of the purged? The Khamsin?

  And, if so, how had they found the champions and guard caravan? Why had the sandworms followed them? He now suspected many of these events were connected.

  Finn closed his eyes, letting out a breath. Fuck.

  Only a single question lingered in his mind.

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked softly.

  Julia’s eyes shot up, meeting his. He saw tears and anger there. “Why didn’t I tell you?” she echoed, shaking her head incredulously. “Why didn’t I tell you?”

  She rose and stabbed her finger at him. “Why the hell didn’t you think to ask? We’ve been together for weeks. Have you ever really asked me about my time here before I found you in the guild? How I started playing this game? How I gained my abilities?”

  Finn’s eyes widened, taken aback by her anger. The thought had occurred to him many times, but had he actually asked? He wanted to say yes but then hesitated. Or had he been distracted by whatever was going on at the time – telling himself it was an issue he could tackle later? Always “later.” That was apparently his M.O., wasn’t it? Putting whatever it was that was occupying his thoughts ahead of his family?

  “You didn’t. Not once,” she snapped at him when he didn’t respond. Finn flinched, unable to refute her. “You were so absorbed in this gods damned game – for whatever reason – that you didn’t even seem to see me. Do you know why I really blackmailed you into playing this stupid game? To get your attention! I thought maybe if I helped you, stayed near you, you might finally wake the hell up from your self-induced coma…”

  She trailed off, shaking her head. Her movements quieted as she got a hold of herself, frustrated tears giving way to angry resignation. “I should have known better. Since the accident, you’ve been too absorbed in your own shit to see what’s going on with anyone else. Even your own family.”

  Her eyes pierced him. He had seen that look before – on a younger face and in a different setting. Yet it was still the same. The anger and pain and hurt had aged, become deeper and more refined maybe, but it was the same look she had given him in the Seer’s memory before she stormed out of that school office.

  “I’m not just a travel companion, or a teammate… or some simple thief,” she shot at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m your daughter dammit.” With that, she stormed out of the cave. As soon as she hit the mouth of the tunnel, she broke into a jog, vanishing from sight.

  Finn sat there in stunned silence, his emotions a chaotic mess. Guilt settled on his shoulders, the weight threatening to crush him. He had hoped to “move forward” after witnessing the memory the Seer had given him, but that seemed like a silly goal now. Julia had lived with his choices her entire life. There was no “moving on” for her – no resolution.

  Just more of the same.

  And the word she had used. Thief.

  Finn could remember the scene vividly now, thanks to the Seer. The flashing icon on Joan’s computer partway through their conversation. The tablet his daughter had stuffed hastily into her backpack. Had she hacked into Joan’s computer? If so, what had Julia heard that day? Some small snippet of the conversation out of context. Her dad – her only living parent – calling her a thief? Maybe Joan had been right. She had hacked that system to get his attention, just like she had done to get him to play this game.

  And this was how he had repaid her?

  “Shit,” Finn muttered, rubbing at his face. As he glanced up, he saw Kyyle watchin
g him, the young man biting his lip. “You can say it if you want, I fucked up.”

  Kyyle cocked his head. “Those weren’t exactly the words I would have chosen,” he offered diplomatically, although the implication was clear – the young man wasn’t disagreeing with Finn’s conclusion.

  Then Kyyle shook his head, glancing at Finn. “You should go talk to her. I’m not saying I understand most of what I just heard, but I also feel like it’s not too late to fix things.”

  Finn snorted out a harsh laugh. “Is that what you just saw?”

  “I just heard a daughter saying she blackmailed you into playing this game with her as a way to reconnect with her dad,” Kyyle retorted in a dry voice.

  “So maybe go be her dad.”

  Finn looked at the earth mage, some kid with only twenty-something years on him. Yet there was truth in what he was saying. Even if he screwed it up even worse – and that seemed likely – he knew he owed it to Julia to try.

  “Damn psych majors. Always butting in and trying to fix people,” Finn muttered, pushing himself to his feet with a groan as he started for the nearby tunnel.

  Kyyle chuckled softly. “Or maybe I just want to get out of this place, and I know I can’t do that if you two are trying to kill each other,” he offered, although Finn sensed it was more than that. The kid might be a little mercenary, but that was compassion shining in his eyes right now.

  Finn just grunted in acknowledgment, drifting down the tunnel and the Sauna soon disappearing from view. At that moment, escaping didn’t seem quite so important.

  Chapter 30 - Subtle

  Bilel’s Journal – Entry 127

  I have continued to absorb small amounts of water mana, carefully noting the effect on my affinities, and observing myself with the sight.

  It is now clear that the absorption is directly increasing my water affinity, albeit slowly. For now, Renquist has suggested that I keep this information quiet, using myself as a test subject. He fears that disclosure of this sort of information might cause a panic – with other mages rushing to learn the process and thereby artificially increasing their affinities. Although, I can’t help but wonder if what he truly fears is reprisal from the guild leadership, who use knowledge as a leash. This information would likely cause the students to grow in power too quickly and make them difficult to control.

  In any event, I have noted that my ambient mana has taken on a stronger blue-ish hue, likely indicating my increased affinity. Even more interesting, my Najima have grown slightly larger – a result that I did not observe when absorbing mana of my dominant affinity. Curious, I checked my total mana…

  And indeed, I saw an increase! It’s a small improvement, but this indicates that the size of a mage’s Najima correlates to their total potential mana storage – a startling discovery. This may also mean that continued absorption of non-dominant mana might increase both the mage’s affinity and total mana pool. If so, then I may have found a way for a mage to dramatically increase their own power – at least with prolonged and continuous absorptions and access to a varied supply of mana.

  ***

  Finn rounded a corner, a gloom hovering throughout the tunnel. Many of the passages in this area lacked the reflective glass panels of the central shaft or the telltale glow of the fire crystals. The symmetric indentations in the wall indicated that they had been created – carved by the worker ants that explored these levels.

  He trod forward with careful steps, a sawblade held in one hand. His group had long since mapped and cleared these passages – much of this lower level, in fact. The risk of running into one of the workers was low, but not impossible. The colony tended to send stray scouts down into these tunnels on occasion.

  The passage soon opened into a small hub cave, a connection point between three adjacent tunnels. This room was more well-lit, glowing red and orange gems embedded in the walls. Finn hesitated, noticing the faint scuff marks in the dirt and dust that sprinkled the floor. He stooped, his fingers tracing a heel-sized indentation.

  “Mashhad,” he whispered, scanning the cave.

  “I know you’re here,” Finn said quietly. “Can we talk? Please?”

  A flicker in the shadows and Julia stepped into view. “How did you find me?”

  Finn cocked his head, releasing the sight. “Well, your body might be completely invisible to me, but your equipment is a different matter. Now that I know what I’m looking for, your clothing, weapons and armor all glow with faint traces of mana. It’s subtle, but still gives you away.”

  Julia grunted, refusing to meet his eyes as she paced the cave and took a seat on one of the boulders in the center of the room. “What do you want?”

  Finn sighed. He’d caught her. Now, what the hell was he going to say?

  He could easily imagine what Rachael would advise at a time like this. “Start with something simple.”

  “I’m sorry,” Finn said, taking a seat opposite his daughter. “I know that rings hollow after… well, after years of being a self-centered asshole. But I am.”

  She stayed silent as he continued, “After your mother died, I-I just lost it. It’s difficult to put into words how much she meant to me. She was… my rock, my center. She was pretty much the only thing that kept me sane. Hell, without her, I’d have probably killed myself a long time ago. The maid would have shown up to find some half-decayed corpse still slumped over his desk.”

  A soft snort from his daughter. Yet she still wasn’t looking at him, her eyes staring intently at the floor.

  “Losing her like that due to something I could have prevented – something I should have prevented – it just broke me.” He shook his head. “I turned into this self-pitying wreck of a person. I blamed myself. In some fucked up way, maybe I thought that the people in my life were better off without me.”

  Julia moved to say something, but he held up a hand. “It was stupid. I know that. I should have been there for you and Gracen. You had just lost your mother, and, in many ways, you lost your father at the same time.”

  Finn raised his eyes to look at Julia, seeing some of his own pain mirrored in her gaze. “If I were a better father, I’d have supported you. I’d have been there for you. Really been there. I’d have told you – shown you – how delighted I was to have you in my life.”

  It was Julia’s turn to shake her head. “Some hacker, a delinquent – some thief?”

  “Hey, stop it,” Finn snapped. Her eyes finally met his, moisture lingering there. “I should have said this back then – back in that damn office talking to your asshat of a principal after you first hacked into the school computers.” He reached for her hand, and Julia didn’t resist the gesture.

  “I was proud of you, Julia,” Finn said then, his voice cracking. “Thirteen and you hacked multiple layers of encryption on a government system? To make the test questions harder?” He shook his head, letting out a low chuckle. “I should have yanked your ass out of that school in a flash. Taught you myself. Found others to tutor you.

  “I was just too caught up in my own baggage to see you,” Finn said. “But I do now. And you are amazing. I can’t promise that I won’t ever be a self-centered dickhead again – that does seem to be my default. But I want to try to be part of your life. For real this time, not because I think you still left some hooks in my system…”

  Julia laughed softly, tears leaking freely down her cheeks. “I-I think I’d like that,” she offered, meeting his eyes for just a moment. Then she moved in a flash, wrapping her arms around him.

  Finn held her tightly, trying to will away the moisture in his own eyes. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged his daughter. Another flash of guilt swept through his mind. He had fucked up for so long…

  Over Julia’s shoulder, Finn could see the fire crystals flash against the far wall of the cave, just a faint trickle of fire mana leaking from the gems. For an instant, it seemed as though he could see Rachael’s face framed in the fiery energy. An illusion? His i
magination playing tricks on him? He didn’t care. He saw her kind eyes and her smile.

  For just an instant, he considered telling Julia about the Seer’s bargain…

  But he hesitated. It seemed like too much, too soon – especially after everything else they still had to work through.

  His eyes flitted back to the fiery illusion. Even if I don’t manage to bring you back, I’m going to make this right, Rachael, Finn thought silently. I have to make this right.

  Only an instant later, the energy dissipated harmlessly, and Julia pulled away, rubbing at her eyes. “It’s a good thing the ants can’t sense water mana,” she said in a half-hearted joke, but hesitated, glancing at her fingers. “Assuming my tears have mana…”

  Finn tilted his head. “They don’t seem to. Although, since you brought it up, I want to hear your story now – the full story. How you entered the game, how you landed in the Mage Guild, and then ended up in the sands. If you’re willing to tell me, of course,” Finn urged her gently.

  Julia grimaced, dropping her eyes to the floor again. “Well, I managed to score a beta key for the game, although maybe not by entirely legal means. I had heard AO was exceptional… life-changing really,” she offered with an incredulous snort.

  He had to admit the game had a way of making things rather personal, but Finn stayed silent as she told her story.

  “I ended up in Lahab, in the same courtyard you did. The beta group was much smaller, so there were fewer of us then. The Mage Guild had just begun the process of incorporating the travelers among the regular residents. Our kind weren’t permitted to participate in the Duels yet, and it was clear that the residents didn’t want us there. Things were… tense, to say the least.”

  She laughed, a harsh sound that echoed off the walls of the cave. “And then I did what I always do – I got frustrated. They were slow pedaling those spells, doling them out like some sort of currency to the favored students. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I actually broke into the upper levels of the library, hoping to access restricted spellbooks…”