Play It Again

by Aidan Wayne

  Sam watched the rest of the video barely breathing, and by the time Dovid’s voice got wet—horribly wet, it was such an awful sound—Sam was almost crying with him.

  “I’m so sorry,” he managed, swallowing around a dry throat. “I’m so sorry I made you feel like that.”

  A quiet laugh, not quite a sob. “It’s okay. I just...you know. I’m glad everything worked out.”

  “Right,” Sam assured him. “I’m totally fine. Just a little banged up.”

  “Yeah.”

  They drifted into silence, before Sam realized that he should probably say something. “I don’t mind. You sharing that, I mean. It’s yours to share. And—and if anyone gives you a hard time about it—”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about. I couldn’t care less if they bother me.”

  “I’ll happily ignore anyone being silly about our friendship,” Sam said evenly. “And if anyone is, you know, hateful, I’ll just block them.”

  “You sure?”

  “Absolutely. It’s a, well, it’s a lovely video, Dovid. I mean it’s a difficult one and, to be honest, a little painful. For me, because I know how I made you feel. But it’s also important, I think. I see why you want to share it.”

  “Thanks,” Dovid said roughly, after a long moment.

  “You’re welcome.” Sam tried to lighten the mood. “Now then, I hope you have something happier planned for the rest of the day, at least?”

  “Maybe I’ll rewatch some of your videos,” Dovid said. “Since I didn’t get one on Friday.”

  “I said I was sorry about that.”

  “You were literally hit by a car. I don’t think you have to be sorry.”

  Sam smiled. “Alright, if you say so.”

  “I really fucking do.”

  Sam laughed. “Ow, ow, ow, you need to stop being charming.”

  “I’m charming now?”

  Sam swallowed again. Tried to sound lighthearted when he said, “Oh, I’m sure you have people telling you that all the time.”

  “Nah,” and at least Dovid sounded like he was smiling. “Charming’s a new one for me.”

  “Oh, well.” Sam tried not to feel flustered. Dovid was charming, damn it. Not for the first time, Sam wished he were someone with a bit more personality. “Well,” he said again. “Now it’s not so new, as you’ve heard it from me. And you did say you valued my opinion. So yes.” Why was he still talking? Stop talking. “Charming. It’s my new decree.”

  A laugh now, rich and deep-throated. It had Sam smiling again. “Okay, sure,” Dovid said. “I’ll take that. Coming from you, I’ll definitely take that.”

  “Good,” Sam said through a yawn. “Sorry,” he hurried to add. “Terribly sorry.”

  “Shit, no, it’s okay. It’s nearly midnight for you. You must be exhausted.”

  “The pain medication doesn’t help,” Sam felt the need to add. Maybe that was why he’d been so ridiculous.

  “Fuck, Sam. Go to sleep. I’m sorry I called you so late.”

  “I called you,” Sam pointed out.

  “Alright, but I asked.”

  “Still. I was up. And I wanted to talk to you. I like talking to you,” he said sleepily.

  “I’m glad to hear that. I like talking to you too.”

  “Oh. Good. That’s nice.”

  A chuckle. “You sound like you can’t keep your eyes open. Go to bed.”

  “I’m in bed,” Sam protested. “I was just—”

  “You were just reading?”

  “Well, yes.” How did Dovid already know him so well? He cleared his throat. “Yes, I was.”

  “Are you lying down?”

  He had managed to get more horizontal than vertical, even though he still needed to sleep propped up by pillows. “Yes.”

  “Eyes closed?”

  And yes, his eyes had indeed drifted shut. When had that happened? “Maybe,” he mumbled.

  A breathy exhale. “Good night, Sam.”

  Sam was already drifting, Dovid’s voice in his ear.

  * * *

  Sam had turned off his alarm, so he woke up at ten as opposed to the usual six-thirty, feeling as refreshed as he could considering he was still in pain. He got up, downed his morning dose of medication, and then wobbled through the rest of his morning routine.

  When he went to retrieve his phone from where it normally sat, charging on his night table, it was nowhere to be found.

  He had a moment of panic before the last night came rushing back to him and he found his phone among his pillows and blankets. When he picked up his phone, the first thing he could think of was Dovid’s voice saying his name, wishing him good night.

  It had been so nice.

  But ten am for Sam meant two am for Dovid, so he was loath to send a text now, just in case Dovid hadn’t fixed his alarm.

  In the meantime, however, Sam thought of something he could do for Dovid. He could give him something to wake up to.

  He had breakfast, made himself some tea, and then went over to his computer to open up his YouTube run of Dire Straits.

  “Hello, everybody, I’m Sam, and welcome to another episode of Let’s Play Dire Straits.

  “First off, I wanted to apologize for the worry when I was out of commission, and say thank you to everyone for the well-wishes. You’re all lovely people. I’m sorry that I disappeared so suddenly, but I’m back now, and will hopefully continue to be able to upload my Friday videos for some time. Today, however, I figured it was prudent to upload a video a day early. So happy Thursday everyone. And actually,” he added, an idea coming to him, “I’ll try to upload a video tomorrow too, if I’m up to it. No promises, but I’ll let you all know on Twitter if one will be coming out.

  “Now then, we last left off...”

  * * *

  “Sam put out a video today,” Rachel announced when she came into the kitchen for breakfast.

  “Why do you know that before I know that,” Dovid complained, bringing the omelets he’d made to the table. “I’m subscribed to him too. I’m the one who talks to him!”

  “Yeah, but you’re also not the one who checks the YouTube view count first thing in the morning, and thus the one who sees all our subscription updates first.”

  Grumbling, Dovid took a bite of his omelet. “Okay,” he said. “Watch it first thing after breakfast?”

  There was the sound of something being set on the table. “Way ahead of you,” she said. “Want to watch it now?”

  “Oh hey, sure.”

  “Good.”

  They ate their breakfast and watched Sam’s let’s play, pausing when they were finished eating to move to the couch. Dovid listened with interest as usual, but also with a sense of overwhelming relief. Sam really was back, and fine (or on his way to getting there). Things would return to normal, but now, maybe they’d be able to talk on the phone and actually listen to each other’s voices when it had nothing to do with video, on top of texting.

  Sitting there, with Sam’s voice washing over him, the memory of Sam’s genuine, kind nature playing through his mind, how happy Dovid was every time they talked, how fucking worried he had been about him, and then how starkly relieved, a jumble of emotions all mixed together... Dovid realized something that he probably should have known a while ago.

  He was definitely in love with Sam.

  Chapter Seven

  Sam Doyle: Do you mind if I ask you a business question?

  Dovid Rosenstein: Never :) what’s up?

  Sam Doyle: There’s been a lot of activity on my channel lately. More than usual. People keep asking for me to do let’s plays for other games, and some of them have suggested livestreaming. Some even want to know if I have a donate button! There are people who want to pay me for doing let’s plays! I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to disappoint any
one.

  Sam had actually waited a while to ask Dovid about it, because he hadn’t wanted to be a bother. But he was getting more and more subscribers every day, and it was, frankly, a little alarming. He sort of felt like he had back when Dovid had first plugged his channel all those weeks ago.

  But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel a little excited about it. That there were people who wanted more of his content. He even found himself, once in a while, entertaining the fantasy of being more like Dovid. Being able to have a job that didn’t make him miserable. Even made him happy.

  That was a scary road to even think about going down though. At least he was used to his current routine.

  Sam Doyle: Viewers keep asking for more things from me. And some of that is things that would pay me. I’m already making money off ads (much more than I expected, to be perfectly honest). I’m honestly not sure where to go from here. Some part of me wants to do it, because I wouldn’t be averse to a little more extra income, but I just don’t know.

  Dovid Rosenstein: Do you want to call me? It’d probably be easier to have this conversation over the phone.

  Sam Doyle: Are you sure that’s alright? You have the time?

  His phone rang. Sam picked up. “Hello.”

  “Hey there,” Dovid said, voice a calm amid the storm of Sam’s mind. “So, what’s up?”

  “About what I said in text, I’m afraid,” Sam said. “I just—I don’t know what to do. The popularity I’ve reached is a bit alarming. I didn’t do anything to deserve it. I—I just make silly little let’s plays. Half the time I’m talking nonsense. I don’t understand.”

  “Hey now,” Dovid said. “You’re yourself in your videos. That alone is pretty endearing. Trust me, I speak from experience. And you play the game well, so people are liking that too. Have you thought at all about... I don’t know, getting a little bigger? You’ve kind of got the following now, that you could.”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I suppose I’d like to? To try it at least. It seems like some aspects of it could be fun. But there’s a lot that I don’t know and don’t know how to learn.”

  “You’ve got me,” Dovid said. “I can help. If you’d like me to.”

  Sam sighed. “That would be amazing, but that’s also such a commitment on your part. I don’t want to take up your time.”

  “I want to give you it,” Dovid said. Like it was easy. “What’s your first question?”

  Sam stumbled through his query on what to do about people wanting to donate to him. Dovid talked him through some different options, and then suggested Sam set up a Ko-fi account when Sam admitted that Patreon seemed a little daunting at this point.

  “That way people can donate to you if you want, but you’re not running a Patreon or something, which would kind of require you to put out more content than you can handle.”

  “I just can’t imagine people would actually want to donate to me. What do I do if they do?”

  “Thank them however you’d like. Maybe say all their names in a video while you play, or put their names in a credit at the end. That’s all up to you.”

  “I—that’s a good idea. I’d of course like to give credit.”

  “There you go,” Dovid said encouragingly. “And I promise, if they like you that much to want to donate, then hearing their names in your video would be an awesome thank-you. Now, what’s this about playing other games?”

  “Oh, erm, well, a few different commenters have requested that I play various other games, such as adventure games or terraforming games, but also...the company that made Dire Straits is releasing the beta of another game, called Brightforest, and, well, someone from the company asked if I wanted a version of the beta to play on my channel.”

  “Hey! That’s awesome!”

  Sam grinned hesitantly. He’d been pretty excited over it, even if he wasn’t entirely sure of what to think or do. He said as much to Dovid.

  “That’s pretty easy,” Dovid said. “Do you want to play the game?”

  “Well, yes. It looked like a lot of fun.”

  “So why not? You get a free copy of the game that you want to play anyway. All you have to do is record yourself playing it, do a short review, and post it to YouTube. You don’t have to do a series of it or anything, unless you want to.”

  “You don’t think people would mind that it’s a change?”

  “Not at all. If they’re watching you now, it’s either because they like the game or they like you. Or both. I’m gonna go ahead and say that, for most of them, it’s both. You’re a pretty popular Let’s Player now.”

  “I suppose you’re right. And I do want to play the game.”

  “Okay! So accept their offer. If you had the time, you could space out the videos and upload on a different day, even. That would gain more viewers. And it’d be nice for the current ones, to have like, a bonus episode.”

  “Alright.” Sam could do that. He normally played games every night to wind down, when he wasn’t reading or doing errands. It wouldn’t be too much of a hardship to record himself doing that for a different game. Even if he was usually wiped after work and talking more seemed daunting. Maybe he could do it on a weekend though, when he was a little better rested. “I’ll write them back.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Thank you so much for talking me through this.”

  “Anytime. You do realize I like talking to you, right? This just gives me another excuse.”

  Sam flushed, not just pleased at the words, but with the knowledge that Dovid really meant them. “Alright. That’s good to know. I like talking to you too. As well you know, I hope.”

  “I’m glad.”

  * * *

  “Hello, everybody, I’m Sam, and welcome to a review of Brightforest. C-land, the company that made Dire Straits, just released their beta version of this game and I was asked to review it. So, well, here I go.” Dovid listened with interest as Sam talked through the gameplay of Brightforest. It did sound pretty cool. He might have to get it for Rachel off Steam and see if she were interested in playing it with him.

  “That about sums up my review. I did, in the end, have a lot of fun playing it. And, well, if you liked this video or want more of me playing this game, or anything else, let me know? I’m looking to branch out a bit, I suppose, and I’d love to hear your input. Thank you, everybody. Have a nice day.”

  Dovid grinned and had his phone out, typing a message to Sam in the next moment.

  Dovid Rosenstein: Hey! Just saw your latest video on Brightforest. It seems like a cool game! And it was a good idea uploading it Sunday. I also liked how you asked for input at the end. That was a good touch. You’ll probably get a lot of comments with video and gaming suggestions now.

  Sam Doyle: Thank you so much. I’m glad you thought it was good. I... Apparently several people liked it a lot. I’ve gotten quite a few views on it. So much more than I expected. My view count has increased a ridiculous amount. Which, well, has been very nice for my income.

  Sam Doyle: Also there have been quite a lot of donations through Ko-fi? I didn’t expect quite so many.

  Dovid Rosenstein: That’s great though! And yeah, people will, actually, pay artists they like for their art. It’s really cool how the internet does that. I mean, that’s how I earn my living you know?

  Sam Doyle: Oh yes, of course! I just never would have considered myself in the same level.

  Dovid Rosenstein: You’re well on your way, if you were interested. Doing a variety of videos, monetizing your view count, and setting up that Ko-fi is a good start.

  Dovid Rosenstein: And hey, IT is your dayjob and you don’t love it. Maybe this’ll give you some ideas.

  Sam Doyle: Goodness, well. It certainly is something to think about.

  Sam Doyle: Again, thank you so much. I really appreciate all that you do.

&nb
sp; Dovid Rosenstein: Not a problem at all :)

  * * *

  “Hello, everybody, I’m Sam, and welcome to another episode of Let’s Play Brightforest. Since so many of you wanted to see me play the game, I thought that I could maybe continue to do a bit of a series for at least a few episodes. Dire Straits will still be going up on Friday as usual, but for the next few Sundays I’ll be posting Brightforest let’s plays too. I hope you enjoy it.”

  Sam cleared his throat. “Also, I, erm, I wanted to give another thank-you to Dovid from Don’t Look Now. He’s been an absolute wonder in helping me learn how to navigate YouTube now that a few more of you have started watching me. So thank you to him, and, of course, thank you to all of you for your support.

  “Now then, we last left off...”

  * * *

  Dovid Rosenstein: Hey! Rachel and I watched your Brightforest let’s play. I really liked the review you did (super clever, boss editing, as I told you before ;p), but it was really cool to watch you actually play the game. I like how you have to make different decisions that all affect the outcome. I’m hooked, and I’m buying Rachel the game on Steam for sure.

  Sam Doyle: Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it. The review was one thing, but I wasn’t sure how everyone would take a full-on video. But overall it got a very positive response. And you telling me you liked it is, of course, the greatest compliment of all.

  Dovid couldn’t handle this, he really couldn’t.

  Dovid Rosenstein: Aw. You’ll make me blush.

  Sam Doyle: Oh, and I hope you didn’t mind my dedicating the episode to you.

  Dovid Rosenstein: Are you kidding? Why would I mind? I was honored. You didn’t have to do that. I told you—I like talking to you. And helping out is just another way for me to do that.