Her Hidden Past

by Michela DiMarco

  Two days after Christmas, Brooklyn and Blair were sitting in Brooklyn’s room. They had been talking constantly at school or on-line since the day that their friendship had begun. They were much alike in so many ways: athletic, studious, compassionate, unwillingness to get pushed around, very selective in picking other friends, with minimal respect for Ben’s girlfriend Sara.

  Brooklyn considered Blair to be her best friend in Michigan. There was a wide array of nail polish bottles dumped out on the floor. The girls were looking through them trying to determine the perfect color to paint on their toes.

  “So, what do you think of Adam?” Blair asked, comparing a hot pink to a satin-red bottle.

  “He’s nice,” Brooklyn replied.

  “Nice? That’s not really what I was going for.”

  “What are you going for? Are you asking me if I like him?” Brooklyn replied, her cheeks getting a little flushed.

  “Maybe. Do you?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t realize that I was on trial here.”

  “Come on. Adam doesn’t really do the whole ‘go out of his way to try with girls’ thing since he’s usually the one being chased.”

  “We’re just friends. We talk at school and once in a while we walk to a class together, and we have chatted on-line. We have not ever been alone together. Isn’t that what friends do? Wait, do you think he likes me?” Brooklyn felt a surge of excitement upon hearing her own words.

  “I think that Jordan would kill me if he knew we were having this conversation right now. He hasn’t said anything. Not like Adam would really tell Jordan. I tend to get involved particularly when I have a stake in things. I really don’t know anything other than I think you two like each other. Just do what feels right. You don’t have to keep everything inside so much.”

  “You’re right,” Brooklyn said, looking down. “I’m trying to work on that.”

  “I’m sure you don’t want to settle down too much. I mean, when are your parents coming back, anyway? I wouldn’t want to get too attached to anyone here, except for me, of course.” Blair smiled cheekily. “I, for one, don’t want to see you go. How am I going to make it through the rest of high school without you if you go back to California?”

  “I’m sure you would be fine without me. Besides, I don’t know when I’m leaving.”

  “Can you even imagine what Sara is going to be like next year when she has a car?” Blair stuck her tongue out and pointed in her mouth as if she were going to be sick. “Hopefully, she’ll be so distracted by the upper-class boys that she won’t have time to make my life hell!”

  “That would be awesome!” Brooklyn said. “But you’re dreaming, and I think she’ll probably be ten times meaner to us. Maybe some senior girls will lock her in a locker.”

  “Or better yet, we can hope that some good-looking senior will get her in trouble and she’ll have to leave school for a little while!” The girls laughed hard. “Oh, bathroom break, be right back.”

  Brooklyn went over to her bookshelf and pulled out the book that hid Sasha’s picture. She flipped through the pages until she found the picture. She gazed down at it whispered, “I don’t know what to do.”

  The bathroom door opened and Blair was still smiling. “What are you looking at?” she asked.

  “Nothing.” Brooklyn folded the picture up.

  “That doesn’t look like nothing. What is it?”

  Brooklyn took a deep breath. She wanted to be able to trust Blair. She needed a best friend in her life. “Please don’t say anything.”

  “About what?”

  Brooklyn unfolded the picture and handed it to Blair.

  “Who is this?”

  “This is Sasha,” she answered glumly. She walked over and sat down in her chair.

  “Who is she? Someone from back home?”

  “Sort of,” Brooklyn took a deep breath. “She was my best friend…before I came here, anyway.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you get to talk to her a lot?” Blair asked, thinking this was a typical long-distance friendship. She sat down on the floor in front of Brooklyn.

  “It all happened so fast. I mean, one minute I was there and everything was good. And the next minute I was being shuffled out the door to come here.”

  “Do you still talk at all?”

  “No. She doesn’t really know that I’m here.”

  “Is that why you keep her picture hidden in that book?”

  “Blair, if my aunt and uncle found out . . . I don’t think they would understand.”

  “Understand what? That you were uprooted from your friends and family and it’s harder to adjust than anticipated? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t see why it’s a big deal, but I promise I won’t say anything.”

  Brooklyn sighed. She appreciated Blair’s discretion, and was lucky to have found a good friend like her. “Thank you for understanding about this, and just about everything else that I share with you.”

  “You’re a mysterious girl, Brooklyn Thompson. But the more I learn, the more I like. I just wish you would trust me more, especially when it comes to Adam.”

  “It’s not really about how much I think I can trust you, it’s more about me and about how complicated my life became so quickly. I do like Adam, but I just don’t know if it’s right. There are some things I need to deal with first.”

  “Well, I think that you should talk to your friend back home. Maybe she won’t get why you’re here, but I think that you should try to resolve it. At least to put your mind at ease so you can have some closure. Then you can move on, when you’re ready.”

  “I’m trying to find a way. I just need to figure out a way so that nobody finds out about it.”

  “Why does it have to be such a secret?” asked Blair. “Is there something more you’re not telling me?”

  There was a long pause. Brooklyn looked down, feeling completely uncomfortable, when she was saved by a knock on her door.

  “Come in!” she shouted quickly. It was Ben.

  “Movie anyone? I’m bored,” he said.

  “Sure,” Brooklyn answered, looking at Blair. “Is that okay with you?”

  “Yep, but only if we can watch something girlie.”

  “I can see I made a mistake coming in here. Why can’t we see something with some action in it?” asked Ben as he walked out the door with the girls following him.

  Over the Christmas break, Brooklyn spent a lot of time with Blair’s other close friends, Mackenzie and Ashley. Mackenzie, with her big brown eyes and tight blond curls, was very warm and welcoming. She enjoyed telling stories and jokes and her smile and laugh were contagious. Like Brooklyn and Blair, she was athletic and understood every sporting event that they watched together. Ashley was the boy-crazy one of the bunch and she noticed everything about everybody. She loved to discuss who was dating whom, which of the boys had the most attractive eyes, who had the best-looking clothes, etc. Brooklyn was comfortable that her circle had expanded but she still felt closer to Blair than anyone else.

  The storm clouds began to roll in, darkening the sky. Brooklyn hadn’t noticed, but most of the people in the park had already cleared out. In Michigan, there were always overcast skies, but this one had turned dark grey, indicating that a storm was probably coming. As she walked along the lake, the raindrops began to fall. She pulled the back of her sweater over her head and began to run in the direction that would take her back to the Thompsons’ house.

  So much for a therapeutic walk, she thought as she ran toward home. The rain began falling harder, and her sweater became drenched. She could barely see straight ahead. She decided there was no longer any need to rush. She was already soaked, and not even out of the park yet.

  Up ahead she noticed a figure was running toward her. As the person approached, to her excitement, she saw that it was Adam.

  “What are you doing here?” she shouted over the sou
nd of the pouring rain.

  “I came to get you!” he shouted back. “You’re going to get sick.”

  “Pneumonia’s not so bad. I have to go,” she said, pushing past him.

  “Wait,” he said, grabbing her arm. “I came here to find you. You can’t leave.”

  “Leave? What are you talking . . . she said before she was interrupted.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I know you do.”

  “Five minutes, just hear me out. Please.”

  “Five minutes,” she said, looking down at her watch.

  “Okay. Earlier today, I was sitting in my room thinking about you, looking at this amazing picture of you. I finally realized that I absolutely hate it when we’re apart. I wanted to talk to you and kiss you. You weren’t there, of course, and I realized I can’t let you leave. I want to respect your decision, because I love you, but you just can’t leave!”

  “Adam,” she started. “I’m not . . .”

  “Just please hear me out,” he said. The rain subsided slightly. “I’m here, a little late, but just like you wanted. Please don’t leave. We’re not done yet.”

  “Just like I wanted?” she asked, suddenly realizing that something wasn’t right.

  “Yeah. Your letter said that . . .”

  “My letter?” she shouted. “That wasn’t for you!”

  “But it said . . .” He was stammering now.

  “I know what it said, I wrote it! That letter wasn’t for you! It was for me. You were never supposed to see it. I wrote the letter because I was trying to get closure!”

  He looked confused. They stood in silence for a moment. “Closure?”

  “Yes, closure!” she shouted. She threw her arms up in frustration. “Look, Adam, I needed to write that letter to prove to myself that I was strong enough to break up with you if I had chosen to move back to California. Look, I’m okay with there never being a fairytale ending. I’m sorry you found the letter, and I know you’re only here because of it.”

  “You just said ‘if’ you had chosen to move back to California.”

  “That’s right. I’ve decided to stay with the Thompsons. Greg and Mary are great people, and they want me to become a permanent part of their family. I’m extremely comfortable with them, and I know that they can help me become the person I want to be. They’re giving me an amazing opportunity.”

  “Is that all you were thinking about?”

  “Of course I was thinking about you. But you need to know that our relationship was not the biggest factor in my decision. You’re the most important person in my life today, but the last year has taught me that there are no guarantees in life. My decision had to be based on having the best opportunity to deal with tomorrow and all of the uncertainty that it might bring.”

  “Brooklyn, I don’t want you to feel any uncertainty about us. I only found the letter in your room because I was looking for you. I’m not here because I read it. I’m sorry I wasn’t the one you could go to and tell everything to, because you’ve always been that person for me. I know how you twist your hair when you’re uncomfortable. And how you bite your lower lip and look down when you are nervous. I know how you can’t force a smile when you’re upset. And I know how your smile glows when you’re happy. I want to know more about your life growing up and about your family. I love you, and I want to love you forever.”

  The rain became a light drizzle. Blue sky appeared in the distance, and a faint rainbow appeared over his shoulder. Brooklyn believed it was a sign.

  She sniffled. “Forever is a long time, and it’s scary. The future is scary.”

  “Then we’ll be scared together,” he said, taking both of her hands. “From here on out, I want us to go through everything together. Okay?”

  He kissed her. They had been so preoccupied that they hadn’t noticed how badly they were both shivering. Adam put his arms around Brooklyn. Water dripped from their clothes. They kissed again, then walked to Adam’s car holding on to each other.

  “What do we do now?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” he answered, squeezing her tighter. “I think it’ll come to us.”

  Brooklyn smiled. She finally felt like she was home.