IT WAS ALWAYS YOU

by Erika Kelly

  “You got it. Enjoy.” He took off.

  With the edge of her fork, Coco cut into a pancake and took a bite. Drenched in butter and maple syrup, it was the most amazing thing she’d ever tasted. She closed her eyes and savored it. “Oh, my God, this is unbelievable.” She noticed him watching her instead of eating and grew self-conscious. “What? We can’t all be mean, lean, fighting machines.” She pointed to his vegetable-stuffed omelet. “No booze, no carbs…that hunky body. Professional surfer?”

  He chuckled. “Not professional, no. But we did just fly in from Portugal. Ever hear of Ericeira?”

  “No, but from the look in your eyes, I’m going to guess it was pretty awesome.”

  “It was insane.”

  “You travel a lot?”

  “Used to, but not the good kind. The grind ended a couple months ago, though. From now on, I’m free as a bird and plan on staying that way the rest of my life.” He drank some coffee.

  “Good for you. I know all about the grind…and what does it get you? I mean, I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do. Studied hard, never skipped classes. Since I don’t have a…you know, passion for anything in particular, I chose a business major. Can’t go wrong with that, right?” Hearing herself get all ramped up, she set her fork down and washed the taste of syrup away with some milky coffee. Just thinking about all this made her stomach squeeze.

  “You going to tell me how it all went sideways?”

  Why not, right? It’s better than bawling my eyes out alone in my hotel room. “I had a plan. A very good one. My boyfriend—” You have to stop saying that. “The guy I dated in college…okay, let me go back a little bit. Keith and I decided to take a class together, and we partnered on an assignment where we had to put together a business plan. We chose my hometown, because it has two really big tourist seasons. We did a bunch of research and figured out the one thing it needed was daycare. You know, you’re on a family vacation, and Mom and Dad want to go out to dinner without the kids, or maybe they want take a harder hike, go skydiving, whatever.”

  He nodded like, Makes sense.

  She drank some more coffee to melt the knot of fear in her throat. “It was such a good idea that our professor asked if she could use it as an example in future classes. That got us thinking…why not really do this? So, while everyone else was applying for grad school and jobs and freaking out about their futures, we were busy starting a viable business.”

  His brow furrowed.

  “Correct. This story has a bad ending. So, for the past two years, I’ve been taking jobs to save money, getting licenses and permits, lining up contractors and real estate agents.” Now, the smell of food was making her sick. She pushed her plate away. “My boyfriend—” Dammit. “My ex went home after graduation. The plan was to work and live at home until we saved up enough money to launch our business. That was five months ago. Well, the perfect location became available, so I made an appointment with a realtor, and…” She hunched her shoulders in a gesture of helplessness.

  Eyebrows raised, he sat back in his seat. “And?”

  “And he didn’t show.” She still couldn’t believe it. “I haven’t heard a word from him since. Granted, he’s been pulling away for a while, but I figured he was just partying with his friends, celebrating being done with school, whatever. But this? Not a single word of explanation? I mean, what kind of person just blows you off like that?”

  “A fuckstick”

  “That’s exactly right. He’s a fucking fuckstick.” Anxiety rising, she swiveled around to check out the diner. “Does this place serve booze? I could go for another lemon drop. That was really good.”

  “They don’t. But we can walk out that door and find all the booze we want.” He held up his hand, gesturing for the bill. “You have any idea what he’s doing? Maybe he got in an accident…?”

  She let out a bitter laugh. “Unless he accidentally caught a flight to Hawaii with his high school girlfriend, then I don’t think so. For three days, I’ve been reaching out to his friends, his parents, everyone I could think of. And then, out of total desperation, I checked out her social media pages. Get this, they’re going to teach surfing. And the thing is, I can’t even be angry about the fact that he’s with her, because I’m too worried about my own future. I counted on opening this business, so I have no backup plan. Why would I? He was seriously in it all the way up until a few weeks ago. I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

  He reached across the table, turning his hand over. She set her palm on top of his, and his fingers closed around her in a warm, solid grasp. “You’re going to shake things up.”

  The waiter appeared, scanning their full plates. “Everything all right?”

  “Yep. Everything’s great. We’ve just got somewhere to be.” Becks handed over his credit card, and the waiter took off. He shifted out of the booth and slid in next to her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “It’s not over, you know.” He picked up her hand, pressing his thumb over her finger. The simple gesture made her realize she’d been mutilating her cuticle. “You can still open this business. Find another partner, get some investors. You don’t want a chickenshit for a business partner anyway.”

  She could do that. She’d thought about it. It was just…

  “You don’t want to do it?” he asked.

  Warmth spread through her. She loved how easily he read her. “How do you do that? Read me so well?”

  He brought the back of her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “It’s all right there. You can’t hide anything.”

  “Maybe, but I have a feeling it’s your superpower.”

  He shifted. “I don’t know about that.”

  Hm, she’d obviously tapped into something. “Oh, I do. All night, you’ve nailed me.” She laughed. “Oh, my God, what is coming out of my mouth tonight? I swear I don’t normally have such a dirty mind. Is there a portal? A wrinkle in the time-space continuum I could drop into?”

  “Even if I knew of one, I wouldn’t tell you about it.” He made a face that said, Forget about it. “You’re too much fun.”

  “And you’re awesome at deflecting. You don’t think you’re good at reading people?” Had past girlfriends said he didn’t pay enough attention to them?

  He settled back in his seat, tapping his fingers on the table. “I know I’m good at it.”

  “But you don’t want to tell me why?”

  He glanced away. “I thought we were getting alcohol?”

  “Do you even drink?”

  “Not much, no.”

  “So…” She made a circular motion with her hand. Go on and tell me.

  “Fine. Well, I lost my sister when I was twelve. She was six.”

  Oh, God. She rested her hand on his thigh.

  He went quiet, emotions flickering across his features, like shadows beneath a frozen lake. “Worst thing that ever happened to me.” He stared at the syrup bottle.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I was there. Saw the whole thing.” He plucked a sugar packet out of the plastic caddy. “Anyhow, it wrecked my family. And I guess I learned to watch my parents’ expressions, so I could…I don’t know…” He shrugged. “Fix things. I could tell when my mom was sinking into a depression, so I’d get upbeat, try to cheer her up. Or she’d be gunning for a fight, and I’d distract her.”

  “That’s a tremendous amount of responsibility for a twelve-year-old to take on.”

  “People show up the first couple of months after a tragedy. After that, they go back to their lives. Maybe they think bad luck is contagious, or they just don’t want to be pulled into the sadness. In any event, it was just me and my parents, and they didn’t much like each other.” He tapped the sugar packet on the table. “So, yeah, I’m pretty much expert level at reading expressions.”

  “That must get exhausting.”

  “Oh, I don’t do it with everyone. In fact, I hardly ever do it.”

  “Really? Why me?”

  “Here you go.
” The waiter dropped off the check. “Have a nice night.”

  “Thank you.” Becks signed it and put his credit card back in his leather wallet. “Let’s get out of here.” He slid out of the booth and, once again, reached for her hand. Like before, he didn’t back up to give her room, so when she stood, she was right up against him. He brushed the bangs off her forehead. “Because there’s just something about you.” His breath gusted over her, warm and scented with coffee. “I like you.” He grabbed her hand and led her out of the diner.

  Out on the street, the nightlife was electric.

  “Want to walk?” he asked. “See what we find along the way?”

  She loved the idea, mostly because it prolonged their time together. With each passing minute, she was aware of the clock running out. “Sure.”

  Even at one in the morning, cars jammed the boulevard, bass thumping. A limo went by with a woman poking out of the sunroof, her arms waving, the wind in her hair.

  “You were trying so damn hard,” Becks said quietly. “That’s why I paid attention. You did a good job—I’m not sure anyone else noticed—but I did. You’re different, Coco. Elegant, quiet, and yet you’ve got this funky look.” He tipped his chin toward her deep purple satin bustier-style dress, the skin-tight skirt covered in a flare of dark lavender tulle. “You think no one notices you, but they do. You stand out. You’re confident, strong, kind…”

  “And funky?”

  “Yeah, funky.”

  “My mom’s a retired model, so I grew up with…let’s just say an emphasis on hair, make-up, and fashion. My sisters rebelled in other ways—boys, booze, sneaking out…the usual—but I didn’t care about any of that. I don’t know why, but I just didn’t.”

  “That’s the confidence I was talking about.”

  She hadn’t thought of it that way before. “The thing I did care about was my mom telling me how to dress. When we were little, she used to set our outfits on the bed the night before school, but I didn’t like what she wanted me to wear. It wasn’t that I was into fashion. I just had a preference. Things that I liked. I don’t know about funky, but I knew my own taste.” Self-consciously, she touched her hair. “I’m the only one with shorter hair.”

  “And, again, that’s the confidence I’m talking about.”

  “I hated the ritual of blowing it out, adding product to make it all sleek. Just hated it. And when I looked in the mirror, I felt…I don’t know. It just wasn’t me. So, I cut if off.” She didn’t style it, either, so she always looked like she’d just come home after a day at the beach.

  “I like it. I like your style. I like everything about you. And I really liked the way you held yourself together for the sake of your friends. No matter the shitty place you’re in, you genuinely wanted to be present for them. I like that.”

  “You’re a really nice guy, Becks.” Affection…desire…just so much emotion crashed over her, and she tugged on his hand, making him stop. Standing up on her toes, she pressed a kiss on his cheek.

  Only, he shifted at just the right moment for their mouths to meet. The brush of lips made him inhale sharply.

  He smelled so delicious—a hint of salty ocean air, the remnants of a coconut sunscreen. She wanted her hands all over him. “Becks?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you have a minibar in your hotel room?”

  * * *

  A noise…a hum…no, a vibration. Coco fought to awaken.

  My phone.

  Too sluggish to move, she willed herself to rise through the levels of consciousness.

  Where am I? Her dorm? No, her mattress didn’t feel like this one. Her sheets didn’t smell like these.

  Wait, school’s over.

  I’m home.

  Keith.

  Yes. Finally. The dick. She was going to rip him a new one.

  When her eyelids popped open, two things happened. One, a shaft of artificial light blinked from the gap between the curtains and, two, someone shanked her skull with a blade.

  Her phone was still vibrating, though, so she reached for it. But it wasn’t where she usually kept it.

  To find it, she’d have to lift her head. God, no. No, no, no.

  For a moment, she let herself wallow in the absolute torture of the worst hangover she’d ever experienced. Gazing at the ceiling, she blinked the sleep from her eyes.

  Hang on a sec. This is a hotel.

  Reality seeped in. Keith had ghosted her. She’d flown to Vegas for Gigi’s concert.

  Something bristled against her bare leg, and she jerked it away. What the hell? Slowly, so her brains wouldn’t slosh around, she turned to find a man sprawled out beside her.

  On top of the sheets.

  Buck naked.

  Tan skin, broad shoulders tapering to a trim waist, and round ass cheeks with matching, deep indents.

  Holy shit!

  She’d had sex.

  With Becks.

  Her eyelids fluttered shut. Oh, for the love of God.

  What are you doing with your life?

  She’d never had a hookup in her life. Always the serious one, her dad liked to say.

  But then…images started to roll in. Laughing so hard on the roller coaster tears had streamed down her cheeks. Making faces at the sharks in the glass tunnel of the aquarium.

  Making out like high school kids in the elevator.

  And, then, the dash down the long hallway to his hotel room. Him pushing her up against the wall. She could still feel the caress of his hand on her breast, the lusty squeeze. The way he’d groaned, like he couldn’t stand one more minute of being separated by clothing.

  Desire streamed through her body, making her hot.

  Actually…she’d had the best sex of her life.

  Oh, yes. That had literally been the best night ever.

  Becks had held nothing back. Comfortable in his skin, he’d had zero inhibitions.

  Had they done it three times?

  She grinned. They sure had.

  The throbbing in her head only got worse, and she knew she needed to hydrate, like, immediately.

  She reached for her phone and saw Gigi’s name. Oh, shit. When was the last time she’d checked in? Carefully, she peeled back the sheet, shifted her legs off the bed, and eased them onto the floor. In the bathroom, she answered the phone. “Hey,” she whispered.

  “Hey?” Her sister sounded outraged. “Hey? Where are you? The only text I have from you said you were leaving the club to go back to our suite. You’re not here. It’s five in the morning.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Why are you whispering? Are you in the trunk of a car?”

  “I’m—what? No. I’m totally fine. But I need to find my clothes right now and get out of here before this guy wakes up.”

  “This guy? My head just exploded. There are bits of brain matter all over the floor. Coco, my level-headed, smart sister went to a strange guy’s hotel room?”

  “Yes. And I loved it.”

  “I am seriously about one martini away from snatching you bald.”

  “Sorry not sorry? Let me get dressed so I can get out of here.” She disconnected and crept back into the room.

  Clothes. Where were they? She crossed the plush carpet to find her dress by the door, her heels kicked against the wall, and her bra on a table.

  Where are my panties? She didn’t see them. Maybe the bathroom?

  Becks shifted, his head turning toward her. She froze. Held her breath.

  She had no interest in small talk. Zero. Frankly, she might’ve had the best time ever, but it was time to get on with her life.

  Because one thing had come out of her wild night—she was going to have an adventure. She’d followed the rules for her entire life, and what had it gotten her? It was time to go wild, have some fun.

  She’d take some of the money she’d saved for the business and go somewhere amazing.

  By myself.

  Yes.

  When Becks showed no si
gns of waking, she quickly dressed and grabbed her purse, the light-up Vegas sign sticking out of it.

  Do something different. Shake things up.

  She smiled. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. She’d take this baby home, keep it front and center, so that every time she got too mired down in work, routine, the grind, she’d remember to take an adventure.

  She took one more look around the room to make sure she hadn’t left anything.

  A bright spot of red peeked out of his jeans pocket.

  My thong.

  She smiled. And that’s his souvenir.

  About the Author

  Award-winning author Erika Kelly writes sexy and emotional small town romance. Married to the love of her life and raising four children, she lives in the southwest, drinks a lot of tea, and is always waiting for her cats to get off her keyboard.

  https://www.erikakellybooks.com/