Her Protector

by R. S. Lively

  What comes next?

  This is my chance, and maybe the last I'll have. After tomorrow there is no reason for Alice to stay in Magnolia Falls, or in my life, and I can't let that happen. I sling open the door and cross the landing in two strides. She answers as soon as I knock, and I close the space between us, pressing my body to hers and cupping her face with my hands. The kiss bursts in my chest and glows in my mind. Her lips are still cold and sweet from her ice cream, but her tongue is warm and eager as mine slides against it. I kiss her until I can feel myself right on the edge of my control, then step back, resting our foreheads against each other.

  "Goodnight," I whisper.

  The same word sounds almost like a breath coming from Alice. I give her a final soft kiss and return to my room.

  The next day…

  It turns out there was no reason to be concerned that the only people in the audience would be the rag-tag bunch that put the show on in the first place. Enthusiasts overflowed the theater, and by the time Luella took her final bow, the applause was nothing short of deafening.

  It has taken nearly two hours, but most of the crowd has trickled out and headed either home or into the village to eat and talk about the transcendent experience of seeing Luella McGregor's final foray on the stage. That is also the topic of conversation at the reception my parents are hosting at their house. Another ovation has lasted nearly a full minute as Luella, dressed in enough feathers and sequins to put all of the Vegas strip to shame, stands on the bottom step of the grand staircase.

  "Thank you so much, everyone," she says when the clapping quiets. "I am overwhelmed by the support you have all shown me in welcoming me into your adorable town and letting me fulfill my dream. You have made my final performance something I will carry in my heart and never forget."

  "Does it have to be your final performance?" my mother asks.

  "Luella," I say, "everyone has been talking and we believe your bucket list item shouldn't have been a final performance. This should be the first step in your official comeback to the stage. You were absolutely amazing, and everyone had an incredible experience watching you."

  Luella beams, but I can tell by the expression on her face she has no intention of following our pleas.

  "Thank you. It means the world to me that you went with me on this journey and enjoyed it. I had a fabulous time, but this truly is the end of my acting career. No actress should ever drag her audience along. When you’ve been in show business as long as I have, you know the secret is to leave your audience in a fond farewell of kisses and cheers, rather than tar and feathers: always leave them wanting more.”

  The entire crowd laughs and applauds. Luella reaches her hands out as if to quiet them down, a mischievous glint in her eye.

  “Besides, I have a new adventure waiting for me."

  "What is your adventure?" Alice asks.

  "I've become very close to many of you and consider you an extension of my family, so I am thrilled to be able to share with you that I have fallen in love. It was something I never expected, but I am blissfully happy. He is the most exciting, charming man I have ever met, and we look forward to discovering what this world has waiting for us."

  "Who is it?" someone in the crowd calls out. A chorus of cheers and agreement rings out.

  “The audience demands to know,” I grin at Luella.

  "James, darling, come up here and let me introduce you to everyone."

  I can't believe what I'm seeing as a familiar face steps up beside Luella and gives her an enthusiastic kiss. Everyone is whooping and cheering, but I just stand there in open-mouthed, wide-eyed shock.

  "Mr. Pfeiffer?"

  He looks down at me and grins.

  "Hi, Dean!"

  This was the exciting, charming man who swept Luella off her feet?

  "How did the two of you meet?" Alice asks diplomatically.

  "We actually met in New York," Luella says. "He came looking for Dean one night, and we got to talking. He came to see me a few more times, and I simply couldn't get enough of him. Imagine my surprise when he came to Magnolia Falls to see my performance. He's been staying with me for the last week and in that time, we've decided we simply cannot live without each other. We're going to travel the world and use up some of this money I've had sitting around not doing any good."

  "I think it's wonderful," Alice says, stepping up to throw her arms around Luella. "Be happy."

  "Congratulations," I say, still shocked, but happy.

  Around us, the crowd rings with cheers and congratulatory calls. Luella and Mr. Pfeiffer present us with another joy-filled, yet perplexing, kiss and we see them off for their new life together. When the car is gone and the rest of the guests go back inside to continue the party, Alice looks up at me.

  "Ready to go home?" she asks.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Alice

  The moment I heard the doctor tell me I'm pregnant, my life changed. It was that fast and that complete. But I didn't know if I was ready to change Dean's life as well. He would have to know, of course. It's not something I could hide from him. When to tell him became a question that hung in the back of my mind from the minute I woke up until I went to bed each night. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about our baby until I knew what was happening between us. Seeing him again sparked all the feelings I tried so hard to shove down and pretend didn't exist anymore, but there was still hesitation. Knowing he lied to me hurt me deeply but finding out the truth behind the situation made me willing to try to open my heart to him again.

  I needed the time away from New York, away from the chaos and the backdrop our entire relationship had played out against. There needed to be something new and fresh between us, and any decisions we make about our renewed relationship need to be made with only thoughts of each other. I didn't want him to be swayed, thinking about our baby, and guilted into evaluating his feelings based on a sense of responsibility. That's not what I want for myself, and it's not what I would ever want for my child. I had to find out what he felt for me, and if there really was anything left between us that had the chance to grow.

  That kiss last night told me everything I needed to know.

  In that kiss Dean answered every question and soothed every hesitation but one. I still don't know how he's going to react to the news. I've never heard him talk about any children other than his niece and nephew, and even though it's obvious he adores them, that love doesn't mean he has ever considered the possibility of being a father. But I can't wait any longer. The clandestine trip I took this morning, after telling him I needed to go on to the mainland for a short time, has been weighing on me all day, and there have been moments I nearly burst. Seeing the joy and excitement on Luella's face when she announced her relationship sealed it for me.

  I tell myself no matter how Dean reacts, it's going to be alright. Telling him is as much for me as it is for him. He deserves to know about his child, but the way he reacts won't change the love I have for the child growing inside me or my plan to raise it. I need him to know so I can move forward, whatever that means for both of us.

  "Can you believe Luella and Mr. Pfeiffer?" he asks with a loud laugh as we walk into the house. "I mean, Mr. Pfeiffer. This is the man who didn't know how to make his own bucket list. Now he's Luella's entire list? That is some impressive growth."

  "She must see something in him. You did say he didn't mind when you lost him in the cave. Maybe that sense of adventure is appealing to her."

  "I said he didn't know I lost him in the cave. He very well might mind if he found out."

  I'm going to take that transition statement and run with it.

  "Speaking of finding things out, there's something I want to talk to you about."

  Dean looks at me inquisitively.

  "Alright. What is it?"

  "We've been through a lot together. Probably more than our fair share."

  "Nothing is too much to go through with you."

  He reaches out and
takes both my hands. I'm surprised to feel myself shaking.

  "I want you to keep that in mind," I say with a smile. "We’ve gone over what happened and you know how much you hurt me by keeping the truth from me."

  "Yes, and I'm sorry. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am."

  "I know you are, and I don't want to tell you that to make you feel bad or to keep it hanging over your head. I forgive you, not just because I want to, but because I need you to forgive me, too."

  His head tilts to the side.

  "Why?"

  I take my hands from his and walk across the room to the side table. Opening the drawer I found earlier, when I was looking for somewhere to stash it, I pull out the envelope and walk back to Dean. He takes it from me with uncertainty.

  "You aren't the only one who is guilty of keeping things hidden."

  Dean opens the envelope and takes out the glossy strip of images. He stares at them for a few seconds, like he knows what he's seeing but doesn't want to say it in case he is somehow wrong. Finally, he looks at me.

  "Really?"

  I nod.

  “When I told you, I needed to go up onto the mainland today it was for an appointment with the doctor.”

  “When did you find out?”

  “Two weeks ago, in the hospital. I had absolutely no idea before then, and I didn't know how to tell you. It didn't seem like that was the right time. With everything going on and what had just happened. It felt like that was just too much to add something else to, especially something this huge. We needed a chance to let our minds clear before we could talk about it.”

  “These are real?” he asks.

  I'm having a hard time deciphering the emotion in his voice. It's slow and even, but there is a slight sense of heaviness, like he wants to make sure I know the gravity of what I'm telling him.

  “Of course, they’re real.”

  “This is my baby?”

  “Yes.”

  In one sudden movement, Dean scoops me up off my feet and spins me around in a tight hug. Just as quickly, he lowers me back to my feet and cups his hands over my belly.

  “Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.”

  I laugh.

  “It's fine. You're not going to hurt the baby. It's extremely well-protected in there right now.”

  Dean lowers himself to his knees and kisses my belly, then stands back up and looks down at the ultrasound images again. His fingers run across the pictures.

  "I have to be honest, I'm really not sure what I'm looking at right now, but it's the most beautiful thing I've ever almost seen."

  We sit down on the couch and I describe the images to him. He listens intently as I point out the baby the way the doctor had for me and identify each of the tiny parts already visible.

  "It will obviously be a while before we can find out if it's a boy or a girl."

  "That's fine. I don't care." He touches my belly again. "I can't believe you've been carrying this little one around for so long already and we didn't know."

  "And you're happy?" I ask.

  His reaction is obvious, but I need the affirmation.

  "I am happier than I have ever been. I love you, Alice. I have been waiting for what feels like my entire life to say that to you. I love you. And I can't wait to have this family with you."

  "I love you, too, Dean."

  He places the ultrasound images on the coffee table and turns to me so he can take both my hands in his. They slide up over my wrists and then back to my palms.

  "Our marriage was real to me. It always was. You are the most unexpected and amazing thing that has ever happened in my life. I live in a world where people think I can have anything and everything, and that should mean I am happy. I believed the same thing until you came into my life. There is nothing in this world, no experience, no collection, nothing that can compare to what it feels like to have you beside me. Loving you is unlike anything I've ever experienced, and you showed me what true happiness is. Then you showed me what true loss is. When I thought you were gone from my life, it was like everything inside me had been carved away and there was only a shell left. My body was there, and I could keep going, but it was like I would never experience anything the same way. You coming back, it breathed life into me again. At the festival we said we wanted our commitment to each other to be real, because the most important thing we could ever seek out in life is happiness. Right now, in this moment, I feel like there is nothing else I could ever hope for. I have you and we have our baby coming. All I need for the rest of my life is to find more ways to make the two of you happier."

  "You have already given me more happiness than I thought possible," I tell him. "You helped lift away a burden I've been carrying for so long, and until you, I didn't even realize how heavy it actually was. You helped me to see that it is possible to move beyond my past without losing it and without dishonoring it. I don't have to try to keep things exactly the same in order to not forget them and to show them love and respect. Protecting the past and my memories of it can still happen, even while I'm carving a new future."

  "And have you changed your mind about Wonderland? I know you had decided to let go of it."

  "I had. My mother told me to listen to my heart and do what it said, and in that moment, it said to let go. Now I realize it wasn't saying to let go of ever wanting to own Wonderland, but to let go of the fight to have to prove myself. I don't want the theater to stay as it always has been. I want it to be better. I want to create something incredible out of it, and I want to do it with you beside me."

  "I always will be." He leans to kiss me and my hand rests over his heart, feeling it beat. The kiss ends and he slips off the couch onto one knee. "My heart is linked to yours forever, but I can't bear the thought of our union lasting only a year and a day. I want our union to last well beyond the timing of the handfasting, but I don't want to spend a single day of my life not bound to you. Alice, will you marry me?"

  I think of the coins sparkling on the bottom of the fountain in Central Park, and the green beads Dean and I had worn at the festival. Moving to sit in his lap and wrap my arms around his neck, I gaze into the eyes of my current and future husband, and know I have all the luck I will ever need.

  "Yes."

  Epilogue

  Alice

  Two months later…

  “Are you ready for this?” I ask, squeezing Dean's hand beside me.

  He looks over at me and grins widely before turning back to the road.

  “I'm so excited,” he says. “I feel like I've been waiting forever to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.”

  I laugh.

  “It's only been a couple of months since we found out the baby existed at all. If you think that was a long wait, how are you going to get through the rest of the pregnancy?”

  “I have no idea. Just think about it, though. By Thanksgiving, we will be parents.”

  “I hope so. My due date is the week of Thanksgiving. If I'm still pregnant at dinner, do you think they'll let me sit at the adult table, or will I have to sit with the children, so the baby doesn't get a special privilege?”

  Dean shakes his head and reaches over to rub my belly. In the last few weeks it has finally started to show up. Compared to Victoria, I just look like I've eaten far too many cheesecakes, but it's starting to take shape, and I'm sure soon it will be round enough to announce my baby to the world. That's strangely exciting to me. I love the idea of people looking at me and knowing I'm carrying Dean's baby.

  “Don't worry. If this baby takes after me at all, there's no way it's going to miss a Thanksgiving dinner. You'll be eating mom's turkey and Judy's sweet potato casserole with a little one in your arms.”

  “I can't wait to celebrate the holidays in Magnolia Falls.”

  “Well, I suggest you start bracing yourself now. It's not a subdued affair. There's going to be the two, then three, of us. Your mother, Lee, and Alex. Then there's my parents, of course. Grant, Emma, and Lily. Th
en Emma's mother, and her grandparents Neil and Eleanor. Judy and Jeremy. Preston, Victoria, Nick, and the new baby. Then Asher and Seth. And this year I wouldn't be surprised if we had an appearance by Luella and Mr. Pfeiffer. Somehow she doesn't strike me as the type of woman to slave all day over a Thanksgiving dinner.”

  “That only makes it sound more wonderful.”

  We get to the doctor's office and are ushered into the examination room. When the technician finally comes in, we watch as the screen fills with images of our baby. It's so much bigger and more distinct than it was two months ago when we saw the first ultrasound pictures. Lying there with the wand moving over the cold blue gel on my belly and then seeing the pictures show up on the screen is surreal. I know my baby is in there. I talk to it every day and feel as though I can sense its presence. But actually seeing a gray and white version of it moving and dancing in front of me makes me feel even more connected. There are some moments when I think I may feel tiny flickers of movements, but I haven't been sure yet. I can't wait for the day when I get a distinct kick or a press of its little hand.

  “Alright, here's the moment we've all been waiting for. You do want to know the sex, correct?”

  “Definitely,” Dean and I answer together.

  The technician chuckles.

  “It's good to see a couple on the same page.” She moves the wand a little bit and the baby shifts perfectly. She clicks a button on the keyboard to capture the image. “There it is. Are you ready to know?”

  Three months later…

  “How could you possibly have kept this a secret for so long?” Emma asks, scurrying around the library putting the finishing touches on my baby shower.

  “I know what it is,” Lee teases from across the room.

  It's a good thing he's carrying the huge floral arrangement, because he can duck his head behind it to avoid the napkin Emma balls up and throws at him.