1996 (90s Flashback Series)

by Kirsty McManus

  I wrinkle my nose. “No. That stuff is disgusting.”

  He laughs. “Good answer. I don’t think I could spend time with anyone who likes sarsaparilla.”

  We walk down a side street that leads to the water. There’s a picnic bench right at the edge. He sits down and pats the space beside him. I join him, but make sure I don’t get too close.

  “I’m Kurt, by the way.”

  I almost say “I know”, but catch myself in time.

  “Anna.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Anna.” He opens his drink and takes a long sip. “So what brings you to this part of town today?”

  “I…uh…was sort of looking for someone.”

  “And it didn’t go well, I take it?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. You live around here?”

  “Um, no. I live at Shell Beach.”

  “Oh, cool. I have some cousins who live up that way. Rachel and Chris Morgan.”

  I feel my eyes widen. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “Rachel’s one of my good friends!”

  “No way! That’s trippy.”

  “So how come I’ve never seen you before?” I’m wondering if this somehow explains the familiar feeling we’ve both experienced. Maybe we’ve seen each other without officially meeting.

  “I’m sort of banned from going to their house, because their dad doesn’t like me. He thinks I’m a bad influence.”

  “Why?”

  “I took Chris to see Metallica without his permission a few years ago.”

  “Oops.”

  “Yeah, but it wasn’t a big deal. At least from my perspective.”

  “So you didn’t get in any trouble then?” I feel like there must be more to the story.

  “Well, Chris did go home with a nose ring that he didn’t have before he left the house, but that’s not a big deal.”

  I laugh. “Really?”

  “I suppose it is kind of weird. It’s not like there was a piercing place at the gig, so he must have had some random stranger do it. But he’s fine. He didn’t get hepatitis or anything. As far as I know.”

  I can’t tell if Kurt is making this all up or not. He’s smiling, so that could mean he’s either recalling a fond memory or pulling my leg.

  I don’t say anything for a minute, so Kurt fills the silence.

  “Hey, shouldn’t you be in school today or something?”

  “I told you before. I was looking for someone.”

  “A guy?”

  “Naturally.”

  “He’s a fool if he can’t treat a pretty girl like you with respect.”

  I almost say that he’s called me pretty twice now, except he hasn’t really. At least not in this version of reality.

  “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

  “Whatever it is, just know that nothing is ever as bad as it seems at the time. Especially in high school.”

  I clench my jaw. “Thank you, oh wise one. You’re all of, what, twenty-one?” I know he’s trying to help. And I know Chris said something similar at Rachel’s party, but this is completely different. This is my future husband. And also, I’m upset as a thirty-something, not a sixteen-year-old.

  He holds his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I was trying to make you feel better.”

  “Well, don’t. You have no idea what I’ve been through or what my situation is, so please don’t patronise me with talk of it all being insignificant just because I’m sixteen.”

  “I apologise. I shouldn’t have belittled your feelings without knowing anything about you. And for the record, I’m twenty-three.”

  “Still a baby then,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.

  “What does that make you then? An embryo?” he retorts.

  “Maybe. I probably know more than you think.” I know I’m playing with fire, but I’m enjoying this banter too much to shut it down.

  “All right,” he says. “What do you think of politics?”

  “Australian politics?”

  “Yep.” His mouth twitches.

  Damn. I knew Bill Clinton was the president of the US in 1996, but only because Kelsey reminded me the other day, and also because I was so obsessed with the presidential campaign in 2016. I have no idea about Australian politics around the same time.

  “Who’s the prime minister again?” I joke.

  “I knew it. You talk a good game, but you can’t even give me an opinion on John Howard.”

  Oh. Wow. Was John Howard the prime minister that far back? Okay.

  “Actually, I think he’s going to stay in power for a long time,” I pretend to speculate. “And I think he’s going to have quite an impact on the country. A lot of people will respect him, but when he finally gets kicked out, it will be a huge defeat. He will do a couple of good things…” I pause when I realise that the Port Arthur Massacre has only just happened. “…like tighten up gun laws…but I think overall, he will cause a fair bit of damage.”

  Kurt stares at me open-mouthed. “That’s very specific.”

  “I told you. You have no idea what’s going on in here.” I tap my brain in illustration.

  He looks sheepish. “I was actually just stirring you. I can’t stand politics. I haven’t even enrolled to vote yet.”

  “What?” I slap his arm playfully. “So you’re trying to make me feel all uneducated while you’re even less so?”

  “Not caring about politics doesn’t make me uneducated. But I guess I deserved that.”

  “You totally did.”

  At that moment, I somehow drop my bottle of lemon squash. Fortunately it doesn’t smash, but its contents start leaking out over the ground. Kurt quickly rests his own bottle beside him on the bench, and we both lean forward at the same time to pick it up. Our hands brush, and I quickly pull my fingers away from his, because it felt like I might catch alight if I maintained contact. As we both sit up again, our faces are only a couple of inches from each other. Kurt is holding my bottle in one hand, but he reaches out to stroke my cheek with the other.

  I jump up and pick up my backpack. “I have to go. Thanks for the drink.”

  He looks surprised. “Do you want to take what’s left?”

  “No, thanks.” I start walking away. “It was nice meeting you.”

  “Come and visit me at the record store sometime?” he calls out after me.

  “Maybe,” I call back, knowing full well that’s not going to happen.

  I can’t even risk a look back.

  Kurt is not part of the plan.

  Ever.

  FOURTEEN

  I head over to The Palace and enter the food court. The events of the morning have completely messed me up and I’m hoping some lunch will make me feel a little more normal. As I inspect what’s on offer, I lament the absence of Grill’d and Roll’d and all the other fancy fast food places we have in the future. In 1996, my choices include a carvery, a Red Rooster and the previously mentioned Chinese and kebab stalls. They don’t even have sushi! This food court has two sushi places in the future.

  I decide on a plate of noodles from the Chinese buffet and take it upstairs to the seating area away from the crowds.

  And almost drop my tray when I see Ed’s girlfriend sitting alone in the corner.

  She looks up briefly, but then goes back to reading a book. She has a white sundress and denim jacket over her bikini now. Up close, she is even more stunning. Damn her.

  I sit at the table next to her and begin eating. I want to find out more about her, but I don’t know what to say.

  After a couple of false starts, I take a peek at the cover of her book. It’s The Celestine Prophecy. I remember reading that in the late nineties. Wasn’t a big part of it synchronicity? I’d say running into this woman is a pretty good example of that.

  “I love that book,” I say, pointing to it.

  She looks up. “You’ve read it?” She seems sur
prised.

  “Yeah. It really made sense to me. You know, opening yourself up to new experiences and stumbling upon coincidences.”

  Her eyes light up. “I know! It totally works, doesn’t it?”

  I had thought I had outgrown new-age superstition years ago, but obviously in my current situation, I can’t claim to know anything. There have to be other forces at work out there. “I think so.”

  “Like how I met my boyfriend, Ed. We just kept running into each other randomly over and over. I swear it was at least five times before we realised the universe was trying to tell us something. So we finally talked, and it felt like we’d known each other forever—even though we’d had completely different lives up to that point.”

  Huh. Ed is the most logical person I know and always makes fun of things like fate and serendipity. Could it be because of his experience with this woman?

  “That’s really sweet. How long have you been together?”

  “For over a year now. I never thought I would be one of those people who settled down with someone right out of school, but I feel like Ed is my soulmate. We’ve already talked about getting married, and he’s made jokes about how he would propose.”

  “Oh?” I start to feel uncomfortable. This isn’t the Ed I know at all. I was proposed to during an episode of Seinfeld and I almost missed it, because he said it so casually. A wave of jealousy crashes over me. How come this woman got a better version of my husband than I did?

  “Yeah, he said he might hire a sky writer and take me up to a lookout…or whisk me away for a special weekend in a fancy hotel and put the ring in a glass of champagne…” A dreamy smile comes over her face.

  “He sounds very romantic.”

  “He is.” And then she looks at me. “Sorry, I’ve been rambling on about myself. So what kind of stuff have you experienced as a result of synchronicity?”

  I frown. I can’t exactly say that I was just spying on her at my future husband’s house and then found her here. That would be very stalkerish, even if I didn’t know she would be here.

  “Um…I guess I…oh! I went to Thailand with my family last year and I ran into a girl on Patong Beach who I hadn’t seen since we were in primary school together, and it turned out we were staying in the same hotel in rooms opposite each other!” This actually did happen when I was a teenager.

  “That’s really cool!” she says. “Hey, what’s your name?”

  “Anna.”

  “I’m Maddie.” She holds out a hand for me to shake. I feel weird touching her. Like I’m violating something between Ed and I.

  And then I notice the bracelet on her wrist. A charm bracelet.

  “That’s cute,” I say.

  “Oh, yeah. Ed gave it to me. He buys me a new charm every time he wants to remember something we did or somewhere we went.”

  My heart turns to stone. Ed has never been sentimental towards me. Ever.

  “Do you mind if I take a look at it?”

  “Sure.” She turns her wrist slowly so I can see the different charms. There’s a heart, a key, a lock, a star, a music note, a pineapple…and a sun-shaped charm. The exact same one I found in the shoebox at home.

  “I like that one,” I say, pointing to it.

  “Oh, yeah. That’s my favourite too. Ed got that for me after we stayed at Byron Bay one weekend and watched the sunrise from Mount Warning.”

  I feel like my throat has closed up. “That’s really sweet,” I choke out.

  She gently pulls her wrist away and closes her book. “Sorry, I have to go. Ed is at uni, but we’re going to the movies to see Mission Impossible afterwards and I need to go pretty myself up for him.”

  I smile at her. I wish I didn’t like her, but I do. “It was nice meeting you.”

  “You too. Maybe synchronicity will mean we run into each other randomly in the future.”

  “We might.”

  She leaves, and I look down at my now cold Chinese food.

  I’ve lost my appetite.

  ***

  I wander aimlessly around The Palace for a couple of hours. I feel restless and confused. Is this all as big a deal as I’m making it out to be? I know I had some pretty intense relationships at the end of high school—some that burned hot and fast and then faded within a month or two. But Maddie said they’d already been together for a year. And seeing them earlier made it look like Ed was just as dedicated to her as she was to him.

  And the charms. Why would he keep that sun charm all these years unless he wanted to remember the memories associated with it?

  I don’t know why I thought tracking down Ed in the past would be a positive thing. I guess part of me thought he’d had a big falling out with a buddy or something, and I could comfort him. I certainly didn’t expect to find something like this.

  What does it all mean? Does Ed never talk about Maddie because he still has feelings for her? And if so, are they stronger for her than they are for me?

  I’m dragged out of my moment of self-pity by a loud beep on my phone. A missed call. I mustn’t have heard the ringtone in time. I dial in to messages and listen to Kelsey’s voice.

  “Hey, where are you? Why aren’t you at school? Call me at home after three thirty or just come over if you’re not sick.”

  At least I have my best friend. I’m starting to think our friendship is the only good thing about revisiting 1996.

  And sure, meeting Kurt has been interesting, but he just confuses the whole situation. I like him, but after our last interaction, I can’t see him again. It wouldn’t be fair to Ed.

  I stay at The Palace until just before school finishes, and then catch the bus straight to Kelsey’s house. She’s already home. Andy is nowhere to be seen, thank God.

  I let myself in and find Kelsey in the kitchen making herself a glass of milk and some cookies.

  “You want some?” she asks.

  “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

  “So what happened to you today? You’re obviously not sick, and it’s unlike you to stay home on a school day.”

  “I had some stuff to do.”

  “You don’t look so great. What were you doing?”

  “I was down at Maroochydore looking for someone.”

  She stares at me. “Who? Why am I only hearing about this now?”

  “It’s kind of a weird situation, but it didn’t work out, so it’s not worth talking about.”

  “I want to know, though. Tell me!”

  “Just some guy I met randomly, but I found out he has a girlfriend.”

  “Where did you meet him?”

  “Down at the river,” I lie.

  “You’re so weird. You just started talking to some stranger at the river and then decided to stalk him all the way to Maroochydore?”

  “Something like that.”

  She shakes her head. “Okaaay…you’re obviously completely over Todd then?”

  “Of course I’m over Todd. He forced himself on me. We broke up.”

  “He was asking about you today.”

  “Was he now?”

  “Yeah. He wanted to know where you were and if you were all right.”

  I wrinkle my brow. I don’t remember ever talking to Todd again after we broke up. Could one day of absence make him reconsider his feelings towards me? Not that I care. He was rude and borderline rapey. I don’t want anything more to do with him.

  “Oh well. Maybe he realised how badly he behaved, and if so, good.”

  She takes a gulp of her milk and nibbles on a cookie. “So, I’m trying to work out how we can see Aaron again.”

  I groan. “You’re not still obsessed with him, are you?”

  “Not obsessed. In love. There’s a difference.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes, we’re going to get married one day and I will have his babies.”

  “Good luck with that. I don’t know why you’re so interested in a guy who doesn’t pay you any attention.”

  “Because he hasn’t
gotten to know me properly yet! Once he finds out how charming I can be, he’ll be falling all over himself.”

  I laugh. “You are charming, but I think you can do better than Aaron.”

  “Like who?”

  “I don’t know. There are lots of other guys out there. Ones at other schools…and after next year the whole world will open up. If you move to Brisbane, you’ll have heaps to choose from.”

  “But I want Aaron,” she whines.

  I wish I knew what her future held apart from the two losers she dated after we finished school. I’d love to tell her that she settled down with a respectable guy who adored her, but I have no idea what she’s up to.

  “I’m sure someone else will come along soon who you’ll like just as much.”

  “I doubt it.” She changes the subject. “So does your Mum know you didn’t go to school?”

  “No. I don’t think she’ll find out. I made her go out this morning, so if the school rang, she wouldn’t have been able to answer the call.”

  Kelsey looks impressed. “Sneaky.”

  “You’d be surprised what I’m capable of.”

  She laughs but then turns serious for a moment. “Just be careful, hey? You don’t want to mess up your life for a guy. Whoever this one was you were looking for today—he’s not worth the heartache. Take your own advice. Someone better will come along who you like just as much.”

  I almost burst into tears. I don’t want to think that’s possible. I want Ed. I want everything to be back to normal, before I knew what happened in his past.

  But how do you erase a memory? I can go back in time, but I can’t get rid of the knowledge.

  I shiver.

  This whole time travel thing is now kind of a nightmare.

  FIFTEEN

  I end up leaving Kelsey’s house before the compound wears off and head down to the river. My phone rings, but when I see it’s home, I ignore it. And then I remember I was supposed to work this afternoon. Oops. That’s definitely not going to happen now. I quickly text Mum, saying I got a lift with someone else and that I’ll call later. I don’t want her to call the police and report me as a missing person or anything.