Guilty

by Siobhan MacDonald

  Terence nodded in Alison’s direction. Alison was no longer crying. Her eyes were flashing with alarm.

  Terence had Sophie’s attention now. ‘Alison ran back to Luke, convincing him all was lost, that it was already too late, there was nothing he could do. Alison convinced him that Maisie was killed outright. That she was dead already.’

  ‘He should have checked …’

  ‘Of course he should. In any other circumstances, he would have. But he’d been drinking. And with the shock of the accident, he wasn’t thinking clearly.’

  ‘Even if he believed Maisie was dead, how could he just leave her there? How? To save his precious reputation and the so-called reputation of the Thompson family, that’s how.’

  ‘No, Sophie.’ Terence was gentle but emphatic. ‘Luke was thinking of something more important than his reputation. Something that meant more to him than his career. I genuinely believe that. Luke held the future of another little girl in his hands. A little child waiting for him in an orphanage half a world away in Russia. Nina’s adopted – you knew that, right?’

  ‘Yes …’ she faltered.

  ‘Well, Luke and Alison met Nina five or six months before the accident. He made a promise to a three-year-old little girl that he’d be back for her.’ Terence held up a hand. ‘Put aside your preconceptions for a second. Imagine the horrific situation he found himself in – one child he absolutely believes to be dead – and another child he’s made a promise to, who waits for him in an orphanage … what should he do? It’s a terrible, terrible choice but one he must make.’

  Sophie was listening.

  ‘His judgement is clouded by shock and alcohol,’ Terence continued. ‘He has to make a decision and quickly. He chooses not to ruin the life of another child. In order to do that, he has to leave the scene of the accident. I’m not asking you to excuse what he did, Sophie, or to forgive what he did, but he is not the cold-blooded monster you think. If he was, do you think he would have been coming to me to find some peace for what he’d done? This has been tormenting him for years. He is not an ogre. He is a normal person who did a very bad thing. He made the only decision he felt was open to him. And you, Sophie, you are not a bad person either. But this – whatever you think you’re doing here – this is very wrong. Please, please stop this before it’s too late.’

  Sophie’s chest rose and fell. She stared at Luke. A vein pulsed at her temple. She blinked. A storm of emotion swept wildly across her face like clouds across moorland. Luke swallowed. He waited. Having harboured years of hate, was Sophie capable of considering anything in mitigation?

  She began. ‘Any decent human being with any shred of decency in them wouldn’t just leave a child there … dead or not … they just wouldn’t. It’s barbaric. It’s evil … and a doctor at that. He’s a respected doctor, for God’s sake. Look at him.’ She spat out the words. ‘The whole world thinks he’s a saint. It makes me sick.’

  ‘It makes him sick too, Sophie. Why do you think he can’t sleep at night? Why do you think he has nightmares?’

  ‘He still has his daughter.’

  ‘Not for much longer if we don’t end this madness now. You are doing this in cold blood, Sophie. Do you think if Maisie were here today she’d want you to do this on her behalf? Do you think this would make her proud?’

  ‘Don’t you dare. Don’t you bloody dare bring Maisie into this.’ Sophie’s face had gone white. Her voice shook. Her eyes blinked furiously and she bit her trembling lower lip. Luke’s heart skipped a beat. He dared to hope Terence was getting through.

  ‘There was only a few years between them,’ Terence said. ‘It’s possible they could have been friends, had Maisie lived. Nina and Maisie might even have shared the same interests, liked the same music or books. They might have gone InterRailing together.’

  Sophie flinched.

  ‘You’re visiting the sins of her parents on an innocent kid. Nina never asked for any of this.’ Terence was trying his damnedest.

  ‘I know, but—’

  ‘All you are doing is making this worse. Believe me, Sophie, none of this will make you feel any better. There are other ways to deal with how you feel apart from drowning an innocent girl.’

  ‘Other ways,’ Sophie echoed.

  Her face suddenly changed. She stood up. Her chair toppled and she reached out to stop it falling. She shut the laptop. Luke could no longer see what was happening. He couldn’t see Nina.

  ‘Look at me.’ She directed her attention to Alison. ‘So this is true? You were driving the car that day? You knocked Maisie down?’

  Alison’s eyes were frantic. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish but no words came out.

  ‘Is this true? And is it the case that you told Luke that Maisie was dead when she wasn’t?’

  ‘I … I made a mistake … I didn’t know … I was in shock too. She appeared out of nowhere.’ Sophie grabbed the knife from the table. ‘It was an accident, believe me. Please, oh please …’

  Sophie moved behind Alison. She freed her from the chair.

  ‘Stand,’ she barked.

  Unsteady, Alison got to her feet. With Alison’s wrists still secured behind her back, Sophie shoved her out of the kitchen.

  ‘What are you doing? Where are we going?’

  ‘The boathouse.’

  ‘No, please … let me go. What are you going to do? It was an accident. You must believe that – a tragic accident.’

  There came the opening groan of the heavy door to the glass corridor.

  ‘Move,’ ordered Sophie.

  The door clanged shut. All went silent.

  You’re a Doctor

  Luke willed them speedily to the boathouse.

  Terence was shaking. ‘It’s going to be OK,’ he said. ‘She’ll let her go.’ The man looked like hell. A stain of sweat had seeped out from his armpits, darkening the cotton of his pale blue shirt. He wore a tie from earlier in the day. ‘Nina’s going to be OK.’

  What was happening in the boathouse? Was Sophie going to free Nina? And what were her plans for Alison? Sophie had a knife. It was chilling the way she’d looked at Alison, shoving her through the door like that.

  He listened for approaching footsteps. They were going to come back to the house, weren’t they? He thought about the cruiser tied up in the boathouse. Seconds went by. Still he listened. Still nothing.

  Underneath Terence’s eyes had taken on a blue-black hue. In fact, his entire face had gone a strange colour. A cardiac event was all Luke needed. He looked away. He could only concentrate on Nina. With hands still tied to the back of the chair, he balled his fists, digging his nails into his palms. His thoughts turned to what he’d need to treat Nina. He’d heat her core up slowly. She’d be fine.

  Terence stared into his lap. ‘This is hell. I never in a million years—’

  ‘Did you call the police before you came?’

  ‘No, I didn’t. I’d no idea how grave the situation was. I knew it was bad, but I expected to be able to deal with it. If I’d had any inkling … Sophie’s always been such a level-headed person.’ He shook his head.

  What was keeping them? They should be back by now.

  Luke stared at the cover of the laptop as if by force of will he might prise it open. Second after interminable second, he waited. He tapped his feet. His stomach was clenched rock solid. In his dark imaginings, upsetting images flashed on and off.

  ‘It’s going to be OK,’ said Terence again, talking into his lap.

  Nina had to hang on. Stress hormones were key to keeping her alive. She couldn’t relax. Luke reckoned the water temperature in the lough at this time of year would be around 10 °C. Not as harsh as winter temperatures. Nina’s body mass and the clothes she was wearing were factors weighing in her favour.

  There came the sound of a door opening and Luke heard spluttering. Lots of spluttering. Terence whispered under his breath. It sounded like ‘Thank God.’

  Luke watched as Nina was half-dragged, half-s
upported, across the kitchen floor. Her dripping arms draped over Sophie and Alison’s shoulders. Alison was wet from head to foot. Her wrists were no longer bound with a tie-wrap.

  Luke’s spirit soared. The two women manoeuvred Nina past the kitchen table and onto the sofa in the garden room. Her long hair was matted with algae and bits of brackish matter.

  ‘I’m f-f … freezing.’ Her teeth chattered through her purple lips.

  He felt a burst of elation. That was good. Her temperature wasn’t so low it muted a shivering response. Fear ebbed away. Each new pulse of adrenaline buoyed him up.

  ‘A duvet, we need a duvet,’ he instructed, taking control. ‘Scissors too. We need to cut those clothes off.’

  Sophie set the knife down. She got on her knees to loosen Nina’s trainers.

  ‘Untie me,’ Luke directed. ‘You’ll need my help.’

  Sophie turned her head. She held his gaze, contemplating his request. Her eyes shifted to Alison, who had returned from the kitchen with scissors. Sophie looked again at Luke. She was weighing everything up, calculating risk.

  ‘All I want to do is take care of Nina,’ he reassured her.

  ‘You!’ barked Sophie, switching her attention to Alison. ‘Stay there. Not another step.’

  Alison stopped in her tracks. In her right hand was the pair of scissors. Her hand shook.

  ‘Put those scissors down and kick them across to me.’

  Alison did as she was asked. The scissors skated across the floor, landing close to Sophie. Picking up the knife in one hand, Sophie reached to grab the scissors with the other. She stood up. She eyeballed Alison. Alison flinched and retreated.

  ‘Get back to your chair.’

  Sophie followed, moving behind Alison’s chair to secure her wrists once again. Then she reached down and cut the tie-wraps holding Luke in place. His wrists were sore and bloodied. He stood, aware his calves and shins had pins and needles, and made immediately for the sofa. He sank to his knees by Nina’s side.

  ‘I’ll get a duvet,’ said Sophie.

  ‘Also get towels and a hot-water bottle from her room.’

  Luke set to work with the scissors. It was easy to cut through Nina’s cotton skirt. The sodden T-shirt was more tricky. ‘That’s great, Nina. Keep it up. The more you shiver the better.’

  Sophie returned with a duvet and towels. He dried Nina’s hair and face with a towel.

  ‘There’s a first-aid box in the larder cupboard. Can you get that?’

  Nina was warming. If he’d been in St Matthew’s, he’d have asked for warm internal saline for her bladder and warm IV fluids.

  ‘Here.’ Sophie set the first-aid box on the floor beside him. She didn’t let go of the knife in her other hand.

  ‘The duvet?’ he requested, pulling off Nina’s trainers.

  Together they manoeuvred Nina so they could separate her from her clothes, at the same time drying and wrapping the duvet around her for warmth. Luke raised her now bare feet onto the sofa.

  ‘Shouldn’t you put her in a hot bath?’ Terence hadn’t spoken for some time. He was shocked.

  ‘No,’ said Luke.

  ‘Not even a basin of hot water for her feet?’

  ‘We need to do this slowly. To warm her core first. Don’t worry. I’m on it.’

  He gently tucked a shivering Nina in the duvet. He then proceeded to wrap her head in a towel turban. Taking the thermometer from the first-aid box, he placed it in her ear: 32 °C. Moderate hypothermia. He could treat her here. She didn’t need to be in hospital.

  Fifteen minutes later he spooned chicken soup into her. The hot-water bottle lay over the duvet on her stomach. When she spotted the Winnie-the-Pooh cover she attempted a smile. Her colour was improving.

  As he knelt, monitoring her, he noticed her expression change. She pressed her head back into the sofa, as if she were afraid. Sophie was standing right behind him.

  ‘Nina’s glasses.’ She handed them to him.

  ‘You’re scaring her.’ He perched the glasses on Nina’s nose before securing them gently over her ears. She blinked a few times before closing her eyes. Warmth was creeping into her hands. Sophie drew closer.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Luke flinched.

  ‘I got it wrong, Nina,’ she said softly. ‘And for that I’m sorry.’

  ‘Not now,’ said Luke, under his breath. ‘She’s confused.’

  ‘I want you to know that what I did, I did to punish your father, to make him understand what he took from me. Instead, I find out that it was your mother. I want you to know I hold no grudge against you.’

  Sophie looked over her shoulder and then back to Nina. ‘I am sorry you have such a monster for a mother.’

  Nina opened her eyes. ‘What? What’s she … she t-t-talking about, Dad?’

  ‘Nothing. It’s nothing,’ he soothed. ‘I’ll explain later.’

  Nina closed her eyes.

  ‘Please, just go, Sophie,’ he said.

  ‘Don’t worry. I am.’ She turned to Terence. ‘You and I need to talk. Not now, later.’

  ‘Sophie, you need help,’ Terence said. ‘Anyone would in … in your situation. You need to talk to someone. Certainly after … after what nearly happened here today.’

  ‘You’re right, Terence. I do need help. I’ll get to that. There are one or two things I need to do first.’

  ‘Dad, I feel weird.’

  Luke switched his attention back to Nina. He heard the front door bang shut. He listened. There was no sound of a car starting up. Had she gone? And then it came, the spin of gravel on the driveway and the welcome sound of Sophie’s car driving off.

  Luke swung into action. He untied Alison and Terence. He suggested Alison take a shower to warm up. She stumbled out of the room.

  ‘Terence, how are you? Do you feel OK?’

  ‘I think so …’ he replied. ‘Probably in shock. Feel a little strange.’

  ‘Lie up on the other sofa. Rest a little. I’ll get some tea. I’m going to suggest that you stay here tonight.’

  Terence nodded.

  ‘Is there something you can tell your wife?’

  Terence nodded again, sitting back into the sofa.

  ‘There you go.’ Luke handed Terence his mobile phone before checking once again on Nina. Her lips were changing from blue to red. He took her temperature. It was on the way up.

  It wasn’t long before Alison reappeared back downstairs after her shower. Her hair was washed and blow-dried. She wore a slick of lipstick.

  She looked around cautiously as if Sophie might be lurking. ‘She has gone, hasn’t she?’

  ‘She’s gone,’ Luke confirmed.

  Alison edged towards the sofa.

  ‘You feeling a little better, sweetie? What a fright you gave us all.’

  Nina’s eyes fluttered.

  ‘That woman is deranged,’ Alison lowered her voice. ‘Bat-shit crazy.’

  Nina straightened up. ‘Where’s Duffy?’

  ‘I forgot all about him.’ Luke was delighted she was recovering. ‘He must still be in the basement.’

  God only knew what havoc the animal had wreaked down there. Luke turned to Alison. ‘Keep an eye on Nina while I fetch the dog, will you?’

  ‘Don’t be long.’

  ‘I’m just going to the basement.’

  ‘I need to get back to Crow Hall.’

  ‘For God’s sake, Alison,’ Luke hissed. ‘You’re not going to stay here with us?’

  ‘I need to talk to Dad. I don’t know what to think, Luke. That woman is crazy and as long as she’s out there, she’s a danger to every one of us. Dad will know what to do.’

  ‘I doubt you’ll get back to Crow Hall tonight. The roads up there are closed.’

  ‘I’ll take the High Shore Road. The police will let me through. I promised Dad I’d be back.’ Alison sat to give Nina a hug. ‘You’re going to be just fine, sweetie. I’m leaving shortly but I’ll be back first thing in the morning to check on you. We’ve
all had a terrible ordeal but your dad has the situation under control. He is a doctor after all.’

  Goodbye, Sweet Daughter

  Luke blew his nose. The sound echoed off the marble pillars, the terrazzo floors and the high-domed ceiling of the cathedral. He felt the eyes of a thousand mourners boring into his back. They were here for a spectacle and Cornelius would make sure they got it. The most elaborate of funeral rites would be observed.

  Sitting in the front pew, Luke’s eyes welled up. He dabbed at his red and swollen lids. He felt a hand on his leg. It was Wendy. She gave him a look of concern. She’d taken a non-stop flight to Heathrow. Her connecting flight to Ireland landed two hours ago. Luke told Wendy only what she needed to know. Nothing about the ordeal with Sophie.

  ‘All right there, mate?’ she whispered. She patted his leg.

  ‘The pollen,’ he said, his voice choking.

  There were lilies everywhere. He’d never seen so many. He’d never seen quite so many clergy on an altar either. He’d counted sixteen priests, two bishops and a cardinal. All had queued to sympathise with him before proceeding to the altar. Luke had stopped trying to find the right words. He resigned himself to a nod as he shook their hands. ‘You’re in shock,’ some said. ‘Like us all,’ more added.

  A sound system had been set up for the overspill outside. The cathedral couldn’t hold them all. There were Nina’s friends from school. They were trying really hard. They’d been a good support, arriving at the Glasshouse not long after the news had broken.

  There were the labourers and their families from Crow Hall. And, of course, a big crowd from Dublin. Cornelius’s and Alison’s political associates. Stiff-faced men in ill-fitting raincoats. Women with heavy make-up. There were also Alison’s friends from the Scarigell Hunt and representatives from the charities she sat on. Hugh Smyth and Johnny Whelan sat a few rows back. Their concern was touching. Next to them sat Fran. All three were there for Luke.

  He was moved by the attendance of Celine and Matthew Rogerson, a couple that he and Alison had met through adoption preparation classes. They always asked about Nina’s progress and always sent a card on her birthday.