Craving Rose (The Aces' Sons)

by Nicole Jacquelyn

  “But you’ll just sit around and watch it if no one asks for your express invitation,” I shot back.

  “When’s the last time you saw a brother knockin’ his old lady around?” Mack asked. “Huh? Been years.”

  “Right,” I said derisively.

  “We don’t accept bullies into the club,” Mack replied. “If a man gets his rocks off goin’ after people weaker than he is, he ain’t gonna be no help to us.”

  “This just feels like a lot,” I replied with a frustrated sigh.

  “Baby, don’t,” Mack said, cupping my cheek in his hand. “Don’t downplay it because the man is facin’ consequences of his own makin’, alright?”

  “Okay.”

  “Dad?” Kara called from her bedroom doorway. “Is it safe to come out?”

  “No,” he replied jokingly. “Better stay in there all day.”

  “Not happening,” Kara sang as she skipped down the hallway toward us. “Can I go over to Rebel’s today? Her mom said it was okay.”

  “I’m not drivin’ anywhere until I get some sleep,” Mack replied.

  Kara turned and gave me her best smile.

  “She ain’t your chauffer,” Mack said, reaching out to poke Kara in the side. “You wanna go, you’re gonna have to wait a couple hours so I can get some shut-eye.”

  “Sorry, toots,” I said quietly to Kara as I turned to follow Mack down the hall.

  “It’s okay,” she grumbled, throwing herself onto the couch.

  I felt kind of weird as I followed Mack into the bedroom. He’d answered for me before I could say that I wouldn’t mind driving Kara to my brother’s place. Actually, I hadn’t seen Molly or Reb in a while, and I was jonesing for some time with them.

  “I could’ve driven her,” I said as Mack started undressing. “I don’t mind.”

  “It’s not your job to cart her around,” Mack replied easily. “She shouldn’t have asked. Wanna lay down with me for a bit?”

  “Sure.” I let him help me take my jeans off, then crawled in next to him.

  I didn’t expect to sleep, but within moments of my head hitting the pillow, I was out.

  * * *

  After all of the drama and upset, life fell into a surprisingly normal pattern. I spent most nights at Mack’s, unless Kara was sleeping at a friend’s house, and then he’d meet me at my apartment after work. Kara went to camp for a week, and we spent most of the time she was gone naked and having sex on any available surface. We went swimming and barbecued on the weekends, had dinner with my parents and his, and when we could find the time, spent hours riding.

  It was one of the best summers I’d ever had, and as fall approached and Kara headed back to school, I found myself more excited about the holidays than I’d been since I was a kid. I didn’t even mind the weather getting colder, which usually had me bitching to anyone that would listen. Everything just felt different, the future seemed wide open and full of possibility.

  Unfortunately, that only made it worse when it all came crashing down around me.

  Chapter 12

  Mack

  The morning started out just like any other. I woke up with Rose’s hair in my face and her leg thrown over my hip, her knee dangerously close to my balls. I wasn’t sure how she did it, but the woman could sleep like that all night and had never once made contact unintentionally. I slid my hand up her thigh and sighed.

  Kara had spent one last night with my parents before they got back on the road, so Rose hadn’t bothered putting any clothes on before we’d passed out the night before, and the bare skin under my fingertips had me feeling all kinds of thankful.

  “Morning,” Rose mumbled, kissing my chest. “That tickles.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I swept my hand up her side, barely making contact, and smiled as she squirmed.

  “What time do we have to pick up Kara?” she asked, shifting away from my hand.

  Glancing at the clock, I groaned. “Little less than an hour.”

  “Shit,” she breathed, dropping her head back against my chest. “I need to hop in the shower. I smell like sweat and sex.”

  “My favorite scent.”

  “But I doubt your mom would enjoy it,” she replied, propping her chin on my chest and smiling sleepily at me. She was fucking spectacular. Jesus. The way she looked at me hit me straight in the gut every time.

  “Move in with me,” I blurted out.

  “Okay,” she replied almost instantly.

  “You don’t have to think about it?” I asked.

  “Hell, no.” She sat up in bed and threw her leg over so she could straddle me. For a minute, I was mesmerized by the sight of all that soft skin.

  “Eyes up here,” she joked, using her middle and index fingers to point at her eyes. “You’re serious, right?”

  “Course I’m serious,” I replied. “I wouldn’t say somethin’ if I wasn’t.”

  “Just wanted to make sure,” she said with a wide grin. “I mean, I haven’t even rode bareback yet.” She rolled her hips for emphasis and I almost moaned.

  “Just waitin’ on you to be ready for that,” I replied, squeezing her hips.

  “Who said I wasn’t ready?” she asked. “I was just waiting for you to say something.”

  “Far as I’m concerned, that shit’s on your timeline, not mine.” I leaned up so we were face to face, and if I hadn’t already been sitting, the look in her eyes would have knocked me on my ass.

  “Well, I’m ready,” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I have an IUD, so we’re all safe there.”

  “Baby,” I said in surprise, “I had a vasectomy years ago.”

  Never in my life had I seen a person’s face go from joy to devastation so fast. It was like a switch had been flipped, and no matter how hard she tried to keep her composure, every feeling she had flitted across her face like a movie. Shock, horror, sadness and finally, anger.

  “You did what?” she asked quietly, her arms falling from around my neck.

  “I had a vasectomy,” I replied. Jesus, I thought it was common knowledge. I hadn’t been able to ride for weeks and the brothers had given me grief for years.

  “And you didn’t think this was information I should know?” she asked, finally schooling her expression. It was like a curtain had suddenly fallen between us.

  “I thought you knew,” I said, letting her go as she climbed off the bed.

  “How the fuck would I know?” she snapped, pulling on her underwear. She froze with her hands on her hips and stared at the floor.

  “Everybody knows,” I replied, getting to my feet.

  “No,” she huffed. “No, they don’t. Someone would have said something to me.”

  “Why?” I understood that she was shocked, but she was acting like I’d betrayed her somehow, which was complete bullshit. “They probably assumed that you already knew.”

  “No, they didn’t.”

  “You sure of that?” I asked, pulling my jeans on.

  “Yes, I’m sure,” she snapped, finally looking at me.

  “Right.”

  “I’ve wanted kids forever,” she said through her teeth. The words were like a punch straight to the groin. “So, yeah. If Lily or my mom or anyone knew that you’d had a vasectomy, that’s something they would’ve brought up.”

  “You’ve never said anything about kids,” I said cautiously, realizing too late just how badly shit had gone sideways. “Nothin’.”

  “Well, it wasn’t really something I thought we had to talk about yet,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m on birth control, and we were still using condoms.”

  “If you woulda said somethin’—”

  “I’m dating a man who has a kid,” she practically yelled, staring at me like I’d lost my mind. “Why would you think I didn’t want kids? A huge part of being with you is helping raise Kara—”

  “I never asked you to help raise Kara,” I said automatically.

  I knew the moment the words were out of
my mouth that I’d fucked up huge. Irrevocably.

  “So you don’t want kids with me,” she said with a humorless laugh, “and I’m not allowed to claim Kara, either.”

  “You never said you wanted kids,” I snapped defensively.

  “You never fucking asked,” she yelled back.

  She dropped to her knees and started frantically stuffing her clothes into the bag that had been sitting in the corner of the room for over a month.

  “What’re you doin’?” I asked, reaching for her.

  “Don’t touch me,” she ordered firmly, making me jerk back in surprise.

  “You’re bailin’? That what this is?”

  “There’s nothing for me here,” she replied dully, getting to her feet.

  “Nothin’?” I asked in disbelief. Was she fucking kidding me?

  “I thought—” Rose stopped and swallowed hard.

  I saw the moment she shut down. It was as if she was suddenly looking through me instead of at me.

  “I thought we were building something here.” She shook her head.

  “We are,” I said, reaching for her again.

  “No.” She pulled her arm out of my reach. “No, we were fucking.”

  “Knock it off.”

  “We were fucking,” she continued. “And you liked having me in your bed. Which makes total sense, because I’m fantastic in bed.”

  “Rose, stop,” I ordered. She was going to say something she couldn’t take back. I could feel it, like bile rising in my throat.

  “But you didn’t want more than that.” She took a step back, and stuck her hand out like she was stopping me from following her. “It’s my own fault. I always do this—assume I’ve found the fairytale.”

  “I love you,” I snapped, running my hands through my hair in frustration.

  “I don’t want that kind of love,” she said woodenly. I would’ve been less stunned if she’d slapped me across the face.

  “I’d fuckin’ kill for you, Rose,” I shouted. “That’s not good enough for you?”

  “You’d kill for me,” she said, nodding. “But God forbid I help raise Kara, or we have any other kids.”

  “I made the choice of not havin’ more kids a long ass time ago, that’s got nothin’ to do with us.”

  “It has everything to do with us,” she hissed. “Did you expect me to live on the outside forever? No, Rose, you can’t drive Kara to your brother’s. No, Rose, you can’t help Kara with her chores, or buy her pads, or have any say in her life at all. You can fuck me all night long and hang with us, but you’ll never be a part of our very special little group.” She held her hands in front of her a foot a part. “We’re over here.” She shook one hand. “And you’re over here.”

  “Kara’s not a part of this conversation,” I barked in frustration. “And that’s not how it is. Leave her out of this.”

  Rose shook her head again. “It’s like you haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”

  I followed her as she went to the bathroom and started methodically pulling her bottles of shit out of the shower, calmly and quickly drying them with a towel.

  “You’re bailin,’” I said, pointing at her. “And you wonder why I said that raising Kara was on me, not you? She’s been through enough.”

  “Don’t you dare,” she hissed, pausing to glare at me. “You don’t get to turn this around on me.”

  “Then who the fuck is it on?” I asked. “’Cause I’m standin’ right here, and you’re the one who’s leavin.’”

  “Fuck you, Mack,” she said flatly.

  And there it was.

  I took a step back into the hallway so she could rush past me. She didn’t even bother putting the shampoo bottles into her bag, just carried them in her arms as she hurried away. As soon as the front door closed behind her, I lost it.

  The hole in the drywall was going to be a pain in the ass to patch.

  * * *

  “Drive careful,” I told my mom, hugging her tightly. It didn’t matter how many times they hit the road, it still sucked every time they left.

  “I will,” she replied. “Can’t say as much for your dad.”

  “Real funny,” I mumbled, giving her a squeeze before letting her go.

  “Jacob, where’s Rose?” she said, holding on to my arms. “I thought she’d come with you to say goodbye.”

  “She had some other stuff going on today.”

  “Bullshit,” she replied, raising one eyebrow.

  “Got into it this mornin,’” I confessed. “Don’t think she’s gonna be around much.”

  “How bad did you fuck up?” she asked sympathetically.

  “Who says it was me?”

  Mom laughed. “Rose is crazy about you,” she said. “And she’s insanely polite.”

  I scoffed.

  “When she needs to be,” mom clarified. “If she was the one who’d fucked up, she still would’ve come to say goodbye.”

  “It’s complicated,” I replied.

  “Good relationships always are,” she said sagely. “Fix whatever you did, son. You’re just as crazy about her. So is my granddaughter.”

  “Kara’ll be fine,” I argued.

  “I didn’t say she wouldn’t be,” she said as my dad and Kara came around the front of the camper. “It’s you I’m worried about.”

  “All set?” my dad asked.

  “Yep.” My mom opened her arms and Kara ran to her. “Be good for your dad.”

  “I’m always good.”

  “Sure,” my mom said teasingly, drawing out the word. “At least try not to give him any more gray hairs, huh? It makes me feel old.”

  “You’ll call when you get where you’re goin’?” I asked as Kara left my mom and tucked herself under my arm.

  “Always do,” my dad replied. He came in for a hug that squished Kara between us.

  “Thanks for comin.’”

  “Anytime,” my mom called as she walked toward the passenger door.

  Kara and I watched as they climbed inside. My dad leaned over to give my mom a kiss before starting the engine. Then they were off, the RV swaying from side to side as he navigated around the potholes in the asphalt.

  “I wish they didn’t have to go,” Kara said wistfully.

  “I know,” I replied as I picked up her backpack. “But they’ve earned it.”

  “I don’t understand why they don’t want to stay here,” Kara said as we walked over to my bike. She took her backpack from my hand and put it on, buckling the strap at her chest. “I’m here. You’re here.”

  “They were stuck in one place for a long time,” I said, climbing on the bike. “This is their time to roam.”

  “Well, I think it’s stupid,” she pouted.

  “Watch it,” I warned.

  “I didn’t say they were stupid.”

  “Kara.”

  “Fine. Sorry.” She buckled her helmet and climbed on behind me.

  Before she could say anything else, I started up the bike, making conversation impossible. I was actually a bit relieved that she was so preoccupied with my parents leaving and hadn’t said a word about Rose yet, since I had no fucking clue what I was going to tell her.

  This was the exact reason that I’d made the decision to keep Kara as detached as I could from any relationship I had. She didn’t deserve to be left behind when whatever woman I was seeing decided that she wanted something else. Rose’s face as she stormed out of the house flashed in my mind as I pulled out of the camping spot, but I shook it away. She’d proved every point I’d made when she’d walked out on me.

  * * *

  “Why the fuck has it been so quiet?” Grease asked in frustration. “You seen anything?”

  “Not a fuckin’ thing,” I replied, feeling just as frustrated.

  After our men had been forced off the road and our truck full of guns stolen, we hadn’t heard or seen anything. The night my parents got in, one of the recruits that had been part of that delivery had disappeared. Just va
nished, poof, from his post at the gate. Since he was a grown ass adult, there hadn’t been much we could do—but it still bothered the hell out of me. Where the fuck had he gone? Was he even still alive? Had he been in on the theft and got out before we could catch him? We had no fucking answers. Thankfully, there hadn’t been any more attempts to steal from us, though. I went on every run and we’d had no tails, no eyes on us, no problems at all. If we didn’t know better, we’d assume it was a one-off. There hadn’t been a single word on the street about whoever took the guns trying to sell them. We had no leads and no idea where to look. It was irritating as all hell.

  “They disappeared,” Cam said in disgust. “They stole our guns and disappeared.”

  “They ghosted us,” Tommy said with a humorless laugh. “I always knew my history with women would come back to bite me on the ass. This is life going full circle.”

  A few of the men laughed, but I didn’t. Tommy’s bullshit comments never helped, and I was sick of listening to him. Yeah, man, we get it. You’re the comic fucking relief. Now, sit down and shut up.

  “They must be keeping the shit they steal,” Casper said. He wasn’t laughing, either. “It’s the only explanation that makes a damn bit of sense. There hasn’t been any word on the shit they’ve stolen hitting the market.”

  “You know what their haul has been?” Dragon asked him.

  “Not offhand, but I can find out,” Casper replied.

  “Do that.” Dragon leaned back in his seat. “Anything else we need brought to the table?”

  I waited for one of Rose’s brothers to say something. I’d spent the last couple of weeks waiting on Rose to call me, figuring that once she’d cooled down she’d want to talk shit out, but I hadn’t heard from her. I’d been getting a lot of dirty looks from the Hawthorne boys, though. There wasn’t anything they could do, no way for them to step in without Rose losing her shit—but I didn’t put it past them to say something in church, for no other reason than to call me out in front of the others.

  “Alright,” Dragon said when no one spoke up. He slammed the gavel down on the table and got to his feet.

  “Yo,” Casper said as we started dispersing. “Charlie’s got a birthday comin’ up. Says she wants to do paintball in the back field.”