by A R McKinnon
“You wanna talk about it?” Where Lucy’s smile was obviously forced Allison beamed. Clearly deliriously happy.
“No, not really.” Lucy said around a bite of ham and cheese panini. She looked away from Allison’s searching gaze.
“Come on Luce, this isn’t like you.” The wounded look Allison gave her had Lucy feeling guilty.
Allison was right it wasn’t, she was normally the take the world by storm type. Grab what she wanted and to hell with what anyone else thought, but it wasn’t enough lately, and she didn’t know what to do about it.
“I miss having you at work, and today has been awful so far.” It wasn’t the entire truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. Lucy took another bite of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully.
“I’m sorry Lucy. I couldn’t stay though and things with my grandfather are finally getting better since I left.”
“I know, I do, I'm not trying to lay on the guilt, honestly. It’s just – do you ever get the feeling you’re standing still?” she asked after a long pause. “You know, feel like there’s got to be something out there better than this?”
Allison caught her eye. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“So, what do you do about it?” Lucy asked with a nervous laugh.
“You let your best friend help Santa fulfill all your secret erotic fantasies.” Allison’s eyes gleamed with mischief, as she mentioned the letter that Lucy had slipped to Marcus. It had been what brought them together, but Lucy remained glum.
“I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
The afternoon didn’t improve. She stuck a thumbtack into her finger, messed up another document because she couldn’t focus, and broke her shoe. On the way home she got cut off and narrowly missed hitting the guy as he slammed on his brakes as soon as he was in front of her.
She got home and made an appointment with Doctor Mathers while she waited for the kettle to brew for a hot chocolate. She topped the sugary treat with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, but after a single sip she knew it wasn’t going to be enough.
Could she go to Haven? Would he be there? Did she care? Making the decision that she could, and she didn’t care if he was there or not, she set aside her hot chocolate. She didn’t have energy to squeeze into the complicated fetish wear though so she decided that she was going to go dressed in something a little more natural.
CHAPTER TWO
Grayson watched as she turned away another play partner. Personally, he was pleased that she hadn’t found anyone appealing, but as the manager of the club he knew he needed to step in. People were starting to complain. She wasn’t a dom and she wasn’t acting as anyone’s submissive. The club had strict rules about how voyeurism was to be handled and if she didn’t start playing by club rules, he’d have to revoke her membership.
As if he’d broadcast his thoughts, he watched the scenario unfold in front of him. She rebuked another man, a very dominant high-ranking member who went straight to a monitor to complain.
“She pissed off Remy.”
Grayson sighed. He’d known Chris would show up at his office and he’d known that he would have to deal with the fallout of what he’d covertly witnessed but he just hadn’t expected it to all happen so quickly.
“Comp his membership for the month.”
“That’s the sixth one this month. Your soft spot for this woman is hurting business, Boss.”
Grayson turned a cold stare on his employee. He hadn’t played the full-time dom in years, but it was still ingrained in him. After a moment Chris held up his hands in defeat. “Hey you’re the boss.”
He watched Chris back out of his office. Once he was alone Grayson cursed under his breath. Chris wasn’t wrong. Grayson’s soft spot for her was costing him money.
He was letting his feelings for a woman interfere with business. It was something he swore he’d never allow after what he’d gone through with Julia and he’d be damned if he started now.
It was that resolve that had him signing the letter revoking her membership.
***
LUCY HELD THE bouquet of lilies and yellow roses that Allison handed her. She watched as Allison was wed to one of her two loving partners. Marcus didn't take his eyes off Allison as she spoke her vows, and no one seemed to notice that the best man stood just a little too close to the bride and looked at her just as lovingly as the groom did.
Lucy was one of a select group who knew about the true nature of their bond, and knowing that they lived in a full-time ménage relationship made the fact that Jackson stood too close with his gaze caressing Allison obvious.
There would be a private ceremony later in the weekend where their friends and family who supported the somewhat unorthodox relationship would watch Allison commit to both her lovers.
A loud cheer went through the crowd as Marcus and Allison were pronounced husband and wife and Marcus swept Allison into his arms for a toe-curling kiss, the kind that made a woman's foot pop in romantic comedies. A movie fable as far as Lucy knew. She was sure the “female erection”, as one her friends had named the notorious foot pop, was pure myth.
Lucy was still grinning when the hair on the back of her neck started to stand on end. The sensation of being watched crawled over her skin like tiny insects skittering across her bare flesh and she had to fight the urge to brush the non-existent creatures away.
She slowly scanned the crowd but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Just smiling faces and camera flashes from the happy guests. None of them were even looking her way, but the feeling persisted. She swept her eyes over the wedding party and that was when it all became clear.
Grayson. She knew he’d be there; they were both in the wedding rather than just attending but she hadn’t considered how strongly she would react to him. He was the reason a blush raced across her skin and her nerve endings danced. Damn if his intense stare didn't register every reaction in painstaking detail.
He met her searching look with a cocky unashamed look of his own obviously unconcerned to be caught staring he winked at her. It was a wicked wink full of sensual promise. Lucy had to restrain the shiver that tried to race down her spine as her traitorous body reacted gleefully to his attention.
She hadn’t seen Grayson since the last night she’d been to Haven. The bouncer had approached her handing her a white envelope before escorting her from the building.
It was done quietly, so efficiently that she doubted anyone had even noticed but her cheeks had burned with shame. He had made a point in the letter to remind her that he believed that she lied on her application.
She had, and that made his jab about the club’s integrity that much harder to swallow.
She wished she’d never gone to Haven. He had been a temptation in her life ever since she met him months ago at Marcus's condo. She'd gone there to chastise Marcus and Jackson for breaking Allison's heart. Grayson had been there too and wasted no time putting her in her place. The way he looked at her, so smug and knowing made her want to smack him.
One of the bridesmaids prodded Lucy gently in the ribs and she realized they were moving, filing out of the church in a neat row like soldiers dressed in buttercup yellow silk.
Lucy had spent God knows how long staring at Grayson, but judging by the look in his eye it was a while. She shot him a dirty look before pasting a smile back onto her face and following the line of people out of the church.
***
The reception was in full swing. Loud music pounded against the walls until it vibrated through her. Food was piled on the refreshment tables and booze flowed freely. Everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time, but Lucy couldn't tear her attention away from Grayson long enough to join in the celebration. At least here she felt safer to ogle him.
She blushed when she remembered her blunder in the church. She couldn't help it though — the man sure filled out a tux. Of course, he filled out a pair of jeans just as well. That was often how she pictured him when she allowed the desire to get t
he better of her. Just as he had been in those first minutes of meeting her, his presence so commanding, taking up all the space in the room. She had to force herself to focus on Marcus so she could give him a piece of her mind. Later at Haven he’d been a commanding force and she’d been attuned to him in a way she hadn’t expected.
Lucy's wrist burned with remembered contact, and she rubbed absently at the skin. He had grasped her wrist the first time he'd met her refusing to let her go. The grip had been solid and unyielding, but without bruising or hurting her. He did the same thing at Haven, and each time it had seared into her memory like a cattle branding iron.
"I'd like to do a lot more than restrain your wrists darlin'" His voice was deep and smoky, like smooth whisky, and it caused a spark to ignite low in her belly. The heat smouldered and she knew if she wasn't careful, she'd get burned by the flames.
"You tried to pretend you were something that you’re not on your application at my club. You’re standing here looking down your nose at anything that isn't innocently vanilla, but inside you're crying out for something with a bit more flavor." Grayson's whispered words fanned over her ear and across her neck and Lucy was forced to bite back a shiver.
He'd somehow managed to blend into the crowd and disappear. She'd been staring at him like a star-struck idiot and somehow, he'd managed to give her the slip, escaping her not-so-covert spying. He'd come up behind her catching her unaware. Now she was paying the price.
"How dare you! You don't know me, so don't presume to tell me how I feel. They're only together because of me. So, do not tell me I disapprove!" Lucy hissed the words at him, while trying to keep a low profile. Despite her best effort, a few curious glances shot their way.
"You only thought Allison would play with the two of them for a while. You never thought it would become more than that. Admit it — you spend more time thinking about the logistics of your friend's sex life, then you spend glad that she found the men who will make her happy for the rest of her life."
"Oh, how cute! A hopeless romantic." Her words dripped with equal parts venom and sarcasm. She turned away, dismissing him and the conversation.
She should have known that Grayson wasn't going to let her get away with it. When the music changed to something slow, he swept her into his arms ignoring her protests. The curious looks grew in volume and intensity. Lucy stopped struggling to look for an escape only to realize moments later that there wasn't one. Grayson's arms closed around her like iron bands and her choices narrowed to dance or cause a scene. There was no way she’d give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten under her skin. She gave in and relaxed in his hold. Ha! Who was she kidding? She wanted to give in. The fact that he left her no choice only made it easier.
He led her flawlessly around the dance floor. Even though she was determined not to find he had a single redeeming quality, she was forced to admit that he had grace she wouldn't have believed from someone of his size. The man was built. If one word came to mind it was "solid". She couldn’t remember another person she'd ever met who made her feel as delicate as Grayson did simply by being in his presence.
"So, prove it," he taunted.
"What?" She gave her head a tiny shake to bring her focus back. He was looking at her so expectantly and she had been so busy thinking about his looks she hadn't heard a word he'd said to her.
"Prove it. If you aren't judgemental of their relationship. You're coming to the commitment ceremony tomorrow, stay at the cabin with me. Spend the weekend indulging in something a bit less vanilla."
She blinked twice slowly. "Are you insane? Spend the weekend with you? I barely know you."
Grayson effortlessly shuffled her through more dance steps before continuing. "Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen, and you won't be totally alone. Allison, Marcus, and Jackson are staying at their cabin just down the road. " The deep timber of his tone made her shiver.
Lucy chewed her lower lip. A small part of her that she tried to ignore wanted to agree. She wanted to know what it would be like, but she kept a firm hold on that part of herself to keep it from getting out of line. The more rational part of her brain said no way. She couldn't ever allow herself to be that vulnerable. She had to resist the temptation to allow him to call the shots.
"I don't think that's wise; besides why would you want to spend time with someone who you’ve branded a liar?" Lucy tried to keep the cold edge in her voice, but she could feel her resolve slowly melting.
"Don't make up your mind now. Just think about it first, and I want to spend time with you, Lucy, because as I told you before there’s so much, I could show you if you’d only let me." He gave her a swat that left her ass cheek warm and stinging slightly, but before she could complain he stepped away from her and quickly became engaged in conversation with Jackson.
Lucy rubbed distractedly at her stinging backside, anger making her temper flare. How dare he lay a finger on her! Not once at Haven had anyone dared an unwanted touch. Just who did he think he was? Her temper was bristling, and she couldn't help but feel like an animal that's had its fur stroked the wrong way.
"Looks like you had another run in with Grayson." Marcus pointed out the obvious while holding his hand out. A demand to dance with her.
Lucy eyed his offered hand speculatively, the words to deny his request were on her lips but she held them in a tightly compressed line to keep the words in. She wouldn't wreck Allison's day. Not even to see the cocky bastard brought to his knees. She knew it was a bitter and cynical stance.
Lucy couldn't help feeling like the wedding had happened too fast. They had only gotten together at Christmas because of a stunt she'd been at least partly responsible for, but then they had fought through New Years and only fully reconciled by Valentines Day. Their engagement had been long but with how badly they’d treated Allison, Lucy still felt it was too soon to be getting married.
"You hurt her." The words slipped out as Marcus grabbed her hand.
"I love her." He tugged gently on her hand to get her moving. He didn't look away from her accusing glare. She could see the honesty shining in his eyes, but she pressed the issue anyway.
"You broke her." She accused him in a low, bitter tone.
"We put her back together, and we'll never make that mistake again." He moved them around the dance floor as he spoke. "I know it's hard, but you have to trust me. We've been without her. Neither of us wants to ever experience that again. Jackson and I will never do anything to intentionally hurt her, or jeopardize our relationship with her. She means too much to us." He stared at her intently. "She needs you in her life Lucy, please find a way to forgive us. She did, and it tears her apart knowing that we don't all get along."
Lucy bowed her head moved by his words. She knew it was the truth but still, she was unable to let go of the anger and resentment she felt towards him.
Seeing her friend laying in an emotionally broken heap weeping over the loss of her lovers had tainted her against them both, but she knew for the sake of her friendship with Allison, she had to try to forgive them. Allison had been far too alone in her life without family or loved ones and Lucy couldn't take those things away from her now that Allison had found them.
"You should trust Grayson too. He's one of the good ones." Marcus kissed her cheek and stepped away from her, leaving her on the edge of the dance floor by the open bar. His attention once again solely focused on his beautiful blushing bride. That Allie could still blush at anything scrambled Lucy's brain.
"He's one of the good ones." The statement swirled in her head for the hundredth time, and she tried to drown it under another glass of wine. "one of the good ones.” She’d just bet he was. She felt anger boil in her belly as she watched him dance with several different women at the reception.
Grayson didn't approach her again though, and the sting of his rejection was sharp slicing into her like a blade. How dare he proposition her and then spend the night flirting with anything with tits.
She glanced down at her own modest chest feeling inadequate when compared to his current double D cup partner. She drained her glass and set her shoulders, determined to find her own dance partner to drape herself over.
She slid off her chair, ready to make a beeline for the closest table of seemingly available men when a firm hand shackled her wrist in its grasp. It was a grip she was quickly becoming accustomed to, and it made her heart race and her insides melt like warm pudding.
"Oh no darlin' that's a bad idea." Grayson's words wrapped around her like a warm blanket. Soft, caressing, and in total contrast to the grip he had on her wrist.
He'd been dancing with his buxom partner. How had he made it to her so quickly? Her mind swirled at the thought and she swayed against him as the room spun wildly before righting itself again.
HE USHERED HER towards the door and out into the fresh air hoping that it would help clear her head.
She turned angry eyes on him when the warm summer air hit her. "Who the hell do you think you are? Get your hands off me!" she demanded, her voice raising and attracting the attention of a few of the leaving guests.
He released her only to grab her again when she wobbled in the ridiculous heels she was wearing. "Easy now." He spoke in the low gentle tone he used with his horses, afraid to spook her again.
When her knees started to buckle under her, he swept her up into his arms and set her on the small bench in the surrounding garden.
The night air was balmy around them, but the breeze was cool, bringing with it the soft hum of a summer cicadas and the fresh scent of flowers.
He watched as her head bobbed forward and she let out a low pitiful moan. "Uh, I don't feel good." She moved as if to leave the bench, but Grayson wrapped his arm around her shoulder keeping her firmly at his side.
"Well babe, five glasses of wine will do that to you." he chuckled when she shot him a dirty look before turning green. "Just take some slow deep breaths and it should pass."
He watched as Lucy squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to do as he'd told her, but he could tell it wasn't working.
