Daughter Of The Wind --Western Wind
Page 36
He stopped chewing on the ham and looked up at her. “I hadn’t even thought about it,” he said. “I suppose since the city humans would not much appreciate me, I will simply have to wait for you. You don’t plan on staying there forever do you?”
It was her turn to hesitate. “I’m not sure what our plans will be. This whole trip has simply been to get here so Johann could find his grandson and I could avoid Garec. Johann never speaks about what we will do once we get there, whether or not he finds his grandson.” she felt her cheeks burn as she relayed Johann’s plans for her and his reasoning behind it. “He intends for me to try to insinuate myself in the upper levels of society, I guess a rich spoiled brat fallen on hard times, but I have difficulty with that plan.
She cast him a picture of herself in rags sitting around a salon filled with wealthy overdressed nobles. “I don’t think I’m a good enough actress to fit in with that crowd. Furthermore I would go absolutely crazy sitting around all day doing nothing productive.” The mental picture that accompanied that, was one of herself in an overstuffed chair sticking needles in her thumbs as she tried to cross stitch. “Somehow I never had the time to acquire the skills of the indolent.”
She set that thought aside and said, “Johann, also mentioned, I might join the military. I think I would find that more to my liking. At least I would stay busy. I would also learn more about weapons.”
Dry humor crept into Conall's thoughts. “I have no problem seeing you holding your own on either of those playing fields.” The image he sent her was of a copper haired vixen immaculately groomed and dressed. Although the clothes he dressed her in were many years out of date, they were striking. “You are beautiful enough, the men would forgive most of your slips in the upper circles. You’re talented enough with your weapons that you would be accepted without question into at least the lower ranks of the military.” The image accompanying this statement showed her in a black uniform with a rearing unicorn on the front, a sword strapped to her side, her bow, and a quiver of arrows slung over her back.
“If you tell the military you’re a witch, you would certainly be made an officer.” He paused as though uncertain whether or not to complete the thought. “You can ask Graybeard though. Being in the Wizards’ Corps is not the best of all possible plans. They may try to force you to use your magic in ways you would normally not consider. If I were you, I would keep my magic a secret, from all of them.” Without warning he showed her a battle playing out. Balls of wizards’ fire struck devastation to both sides of a battle. When the fire touched them, the screaming went on for ages. The fire did not show mercy and kill quickly.
A tall man with chestnut hair and hazel eyes, stood on the high ground flanking the battlefield, russet robes twisted in the wind. With a start, Pink recognized Johann. She watched as he went into a trance, drawing on the power of the earth. Shaking as though holding a great weight he raised his hands and thrust the invisible burden of magic away from himself, toward the soldiers of Telgar.
Beside him, a broad shouldered, dark haired wizard in orange robes, turned his gaze from one inferno blazing on the battlefield to the next. As his eyes locked onto the flames, he drew their energy within himself, quelling the fires burning amongst the soldiers of Ronan. Then he too turned to the north and focused on the center of the enemy, hands twisting, lips moving, speaking an unheard incantation.
The earth swallowed thousands of men, and walls of flame swept inexorably across the battlefield sending soldiers fleeing. Many of them died horribly. The image was so real she smelled the hot copper scent of blood and the charred odor of burned flesh. A gasp of horror escaped Pink's lips as her eyes turned toward the campsite and the man she knew as a gentle soul. She was glad the wolf’s sending did not include aural sensations. To hear the dying shrieks of all those soldiers would have been overwhelming.
Pink shuddered. The knowledge of what overshadowed the joy Johann once had in his magic, was far more appalling than she had expected. Not even her overactive imagination had come up with that scenario.
Conall crept over to where she sat and laid his head on her knee, slowly inching himself over her legs. “I should not have sent you that, but I have followed armies for two hundred years and I know this bothers Graybeard still. I wanted you to know his reasons behind keeping your skills secret.”
Pink laid a hand on his head, fingers scratching absently behind his ear. “I could never take that many lives.”
Conall’s tone was dark, “You never know what you're capable of until you are in a situation beyond your control. With friends dying around you, do you let them die or do you kill those who are slaying them? Do not hold what I have shown you against your friend.”
Aghast, Pink met his steady gaze. The gray eyes were shadowed. “I would never do that.”
His tongue darted out; licking at her left forearm, tenderness invaded his thoughts. “No, it is not within you to hold his past against him.“
“Especially not when I know how terribly it bothers him, even today.“
Conall’s gaze turned to the forgotten hambone. She could sense his indecision, with a laugh she tried to push him off her lap and said, “Go eat.”
He didn’t move, her push did little more than rock him in place. “Our discussion is not yet finished. In spite of what I just showed you, I believe any branch of the military other than the Wizard Corps, would be ideal for us. You must know more of the other options Graybeard is thinking of.”
Pink lifted the great head which had sunk back down in her lap and looked into his eyes. “Us?”
“Would you cast me back into the mountains, alone again?”
She laid his head back in her lap and with long strokes ran her left hand as far along his body as her fingers could reach. “No, I don’t suppose I could do that. I seem to be growing accustomed to having you around.”
“And I, you.” His tongue flicked out again. This time he nearly wrapped it around her right wrist in a gentle caress, then turned his head away as though embarrassed. The upper circles tend to be, either thoughtless, air headed snobs, or clever, ruthless, conniving people. Don’t get me wrong, there are some good people there, but at least in the military your position is without question. You have a job and are expected to do it. As a private or a corporal, as long as your job gets done, not much more is expected of you. You would also have free time where you could visit me.” He turned his fierce smile hopefully back at her.
That would be good,” she murmured.
His train of thought unbroken, he presented the rest of his line of reasoning. “If you cloister yourself away in a circle of nobles, your every move will be analyzed by the women and watched lasciviously by the men. You will have no time to visit me and I shall simply pine away to nothing.”
She thought he was joking with that last, but something in the tone of his thoughts stopped her from making light of it. Instead she asked, “How is it you know so much of the world within the city? Of people in general?”
With another smile, although his mindtouch told her he wasn’t laughing, he replied, “It’s amazing what you pick up when you outlive generations. I tail caravans and listen to them, and as I said earlier, I hovered on the outskirts of giant armies, feeding off the leavings. When you can make yourself nearly invisible, people say and do anything around you. I learned a lot that way. Being able to look into the minds of men, I can learn nearly anything I need.”
“Can you always read humans?”
He levered himself out of her lap and with a head butt he probably assumed was affectionate, went back to the bone. Before gnawing on it again, he turned back toward her, his face held an odd expression. “No, not always. Some are more open than others. I find that when people are not open to me, they tend to be plotting things. Perhaps this is an unconscious type of shielding that everybody can do.”
She looked at him curiously. “How do you know about shielding?”
Again he smiled, honestly this time. “I learned all ab
out that from you and Graybeard. When he realized I was here, and that we could communicate, I suddenly could not read him. It made me curious so I dug through your thoughts until I discovered shielding.”
Suddenly he was gone from her mind, withdrawn as though she’d slapped him. And perhaps she had. The idea of him digging through her mind, of being able to access all her thoughts and knowledge sort of stunned her. She found herself throwing shields up against him. Obviously she had been aware that he could read her thoughts when she was communicating with him, but she hadn’t known he could access her knowledge. Essentially, read her as though she were a book.
He looked woebegone, his head buried in his paws, the hambone forgotten. She felt him contact her. He could still communicate directly with her, but it felt more like a conversation and less like sharing.
“I’m sorry,” he said, stricken. “Please forgive me. In my loneliness and ignorance, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with using you to learn things. You never locked me out and I know you realized I was with you nearly all the time. Forgive a dumb animal. From others I have always just been able to glean surface thoughts, I never connected with their minds as I can with yours.” Conall stopped and looked at her, pleading in his eyes. His hind legs shuffled his massive body forward, belly rubbing on the ground. When he was at her feet he rolled onto his side, presenting himself in a position of defeat, like a fifteen pound puppy rather than a nearly two hundred and fifty pound wolf.
She looked at him and could not stay angry. In fact she took down her shielding with the thought to herself that he had already been there during the entire trip. Locking him out now would be rather, as the stable boy at Mistress Henna’s used to say, "Slamming the door when the horses are already gone".
“You’re forgiven,” she thought at him. “You’re right, I did know you were with me. I guess I just never thought how deeply you could read me.”
She felt his relief and he crept closer, still on his belly. When he lay beside her he pushed his head at her hand and she tugged gently at his ears. He stood up, licked her hand and quickly returned to his hambone, once again embarrassed at his display of affection.
“Pink.” Johann’s deep voice carried on the night air.
She rose to her feet but bent down beside where Conall sat near the hambone and squeezed his shoulders, hugging him tightly, then returned to the campsite.
“What took you so long?”
“I was getting some advice from Conall. He seems to think I would be better off if I were to present myself for enlistment in the army.”
“Why would he advise that? If you enlist in the army they'll use your gift in ways you may not agree with.”
She forced herself to meet his steady gaze. Her stomach and mind revolted at the memory Conall had placed there. Steadily she said, “I know exactly what you’re talking about. I don’t know if there’s a situation that could convince me to use my magic in such a way. But unless I felt right about it, I would not allow myself to be forced into such a situation. They may kick me out of the army. They may even discipline me, but they could never force me to do something I considered morally wrong.”
She turned away from him and said. “I've watched you these past months. You have plenty of magic and you seem to enjoy using it. But there are times you fear and hate it too. I know what causes your sadness. I would not let them steal that joy.”
For a long time he said nothing. He did not move. When he did speak it was in a hollow voice. “I’m going to kill that wolf for showing you that. I intended you to know the good magic could do, not the harm.”
Pink leapt to Conall’s defense. “He only showed me that, because he was reinforcing your desire that I not join as a witch. Conall suggested I try to enlist on the strength of my weapons training. Which he seems to think is passable.”
Johann turned and stared off in the woods where Pink had reentered the camp. “Seems way too smart for a wolf,” he muttered. “But did he tell you how a wizard can twist a weaker wizard to do his bidding? Did he tell you how sometimes you make friends with people, and in their defense you do horrible things to other people who might not deserve it, because they’re only following their orders, the same as you are?” Tears fell from Johann’s eyes. “When it is you or them, it will always be them. No matter how many thousands of deaths, your own safety requires.”
Johann stopped talking, lost in past horrors. When his eyes focused on Pink again he asked, “Did he tell you of all those things? Did he tell you that war often takes away your morality?”
“Not in so many words. But he hinted at that.”
Johann turned to search the woods again. “Far smarter than a wolf should be, even a long lived wolf.”
“He is,” Pink told him with a scowl. “Seems he’s been raiding our minds. At least he was until you shielded against him. Ours and untold numbers of others throughout the years. What it all comes down to is, he probably knows what he’s talking about. I can’t say I was exactly thrilled with the idea of passing myself off as a highborn. I’m afraid the slave would shine through at the most inopportune time.”
“Slave, never,” Johann said, thoughtfully stroking his chin. With a grin he continued “Farm girl maybe, but ‘Pink’ the slave is gone for good. We should bury that name. I’m quite sure if Garec bought you from Henna, he knows the name you were called by, and that name is not exactly common.”
“You’re right,” she replied. “Perhaps it’s time to use the name my father gave me. Conall already calls me Bellana perhaps I should go back to Bella. Nobody but my family would know that Pink and Bella are the same person. It has been so long since I’ve seen them, they wouldn’t recognize me if they stumbled into me.”
Johann smiled, then he added wood to the fire and said, “Very well then, that’s settled. I believe we’d best get some sleep, or we’ll still be laying about at noon time tomorrow.”
As Pink lay down to sleep she caught a fragment of contented thought from Conall. “That went well,” he was thinking to himself and she decided that he sounded just a bit smug. It was then, that she realized that she had nearly complete access to his thoughts and emotions also, it was not just a one-way path.
There was, she realized, one solid shield in place within his mind and by the feel of the magic involved it was not of his making. Part of the curse, she thought silently, and felt him uncertainly agreeing with her. “Good night,” They thought simultaneously.
Chapter 20