eHoneymoon

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Back at home was hard to encourage real talk. Nothing was changing there, so to get to a new landscape, I had a better chance of convincing Kayla to try something different.

  Would I be successful?

  My parents recommended the locally owned condos. They traveled a lot and their favorite was in the more modest section of Kauai. I had requested a bottom floor room for balcony access to the pool and the beach. Kayla was outdoorsy and we both would want things to be as easy as possible. Plus, I’d seen her around stairs and as athletic as she was, stairs were not allies of hers.

  Her itinerary had been sent to me via the app and she was scheduled to be at the condo right around dinnertime.

  I kept checking my watch but the hands wouldn’t move and if I didn’t know any better, they were going backward. Then in the space of time it took to count a wave an hour would disappear and my panic would rise. Would she be happy to be there? Had she gotten on the plane?

  My phone double-dinged and I reached reflexively for my phone. The app liked to let me know when things were happening or when I needed to do something. I needed an assistant for work who was as on the ball as the app was. Whoever their designer was, they were brilliant.

  Your match has checked in at the Kauai Airport.

  She would be at the condo soon. I probably had enough time to get to the sushi restaurant and pick up my order and return to set everything up. I couldn’t believe my chance was there. I would finally have her all to myself without the distractions of work, our homes, or anything else she might run off to.

  After I set up the entire welcome for her, I took a breath. It wasn’t a welcome. Really, it was an opportunity to proposition her. I even went out of my way to set up the table with her favorite appetizer, spicy tuna on seaweed salad.

  I preferred hot hamburgers but my girl liked appetizers. Since we were in Hawaii, I thought it would be best to go with the local seafood. Plus, it looked like local fare would get one of the tasks checked off the ClickandWed.com app list. I took a second and snapped a picture of the table just in case.

  At the edge of the ocean, staring into the vastness of the sunset, I stood on the sand and welcomed the warmth of the water as it rushed up to my calves. My feet accepted the steady thrum of the water. The lady at check-in had warned me it was Portuguese man-of-war season and that I needed to be careful. It was most likely why the beach was empty of guests. I looked deep into the water and searched for the small balloon shaped bodies, but I hadn’t been able to spot one yet.

  All kinds of doubts swarmed me. Was it worth it to give up? I had reached a point where either we addressed the love I had for her and she accepted we were meant to be together or it was time to move on. I waited for so long, hoping and praying I would get her attention. She never clamped onto it. She never caught on to the fact that I was here, I was never leaving.

  I guessed, though, with my plan to either be together or move on I would be essentially leaving her which was the worst kind of betrayal I could imagine. I’d be no better than her father.

  The first time I’d met Kayla would haunt me, if she chose to reject me.

  My parents had bought a house in a newly developed subdivision in Hayden. Kayla and I were both only children and I was outside bouncing my almost flat basketball. Or trying. With my other hand, I’d worked on eating a candy bar I’d smuggled into my backpack. My mom was always trying to cut sugar from the household diet and other food I needed to cope.

  Bopping out of her garage, Kayla and stopped when she’d seen me. Her French braid tamed her hair and she’d watched me while chewing on her finger. After a minute, she’d walked closer, her sandals white and brown. “Hi.”

  I’d shoved my candy bar behind my back, embarrassed to get caught eating when I was my size. She wouldn’t like me, not someone as sweet as that.

  She reached out and stopped me. “Don’t hide who you are. We can be friends. Do you have another one?” She’d had dimples back then and when she flashed them I think I would have given her a whole truckload of candy bars to see them again.

  “We can be friends?” I didn’t have any friends then. I was new in the state and I would most likely not make any friends very fast. Kids like me never fit in. It was kids like Kayla that were popular.

  She slid her arm around mine. “Are you kidding? We’re going to be best friends until we die. Let’s shake on it.” She spit into her palm and offered it to me, more dimples and deep blue eyes.

  Stunned, I’d spit into my own hand and grabbed her warm skin with mine. I’d sworn then and there never to hurt her, no matter what.

  The longer we’d been friends, the more I fell for her. There wasn’t a time period where she left me to be with the more popular kids. She never canceled our plans to go with anyone better. Kayla had always treated me like I was number one. I’d reciprocated in kind and I seemed to orbit around her.

  But it hurt. Being around her so much and only being half present as what I wanted was like dipping my heart in acid and then rinsing it off with tap water. Being around her was a bittersweet pain that I endured willingly, but my strength was wearing down.

  Was there a point where my heart’s pain would be more important than hers? Would I be forced to push my needs ahead of hers simply because I wasn’t sure I could continue surviving the way I was?

  I had set everything into place for the chance that she wouldn’t choose me... choose us. My shields were lowering into place and I only had the next fourteen days to get her to choose us. We had a future and it would be amazing, but only if she could commit to me.

  What would I say? I’d gone over and over in my mind for what to do and how to offer the proposition to her. Did I tell her that if she chose no, I’d given instructions to my lawyer? As dramatic as it sounded, it was exactly what I’d done.

  A couple appeared on the path that angled along the top of the hill leading to the beach. Silver-haired and slow, the older pair held hands and she pointed toward the water while he chuckled. They saw me and nodded, smiling as if they knew the secret to forever.

  I wanted forever. I wanted to hold Kayla’s hand and kiss her whenever I wanted, not just on the forehead when she’d fallen asleep. I wanted, no, needed to be able to rely on her for happiness, not just business decisions and an occasional date.

  Setting my jaw, I watched the couple continue on their journey. I would lay it all on the table. Kayla wouldn’t have any reason to say no. She’d choose me. She’d be happy. I had to believe that I could do it. I had to have faith in something because a sinking sensation in my chest reassured me that even if she didn’t choose us, I had an alternate plan in place. That had to account for something.

  But what? That I was prepared for rejection?

  Chapter 7

  KAYLA

  My hands shook as I reached across the check-in counter and accepted the key card the woman handed me. She smiled with her painted lips. Shiny black hair had been pulled back, accentuating her brown eyes. “Mahalo.” A small white nametag on her pink floral blouse read Tammy.

  Swallowing, I nodded at Tammy and whispered back to her, “Mahalo.”

  She studied my face as if she sensed my panic. Stepping to the side of the counter, she reached out and touched the back of my hand. “Ma’am? Are you alright? Can I get you something?” She was the first one to ask me if I was okay. I hadn’t been feeling well for a while.

  Was that a sign that I wasn’t doing the right thing? Did I look like I was going to throw up? Because I certainly felt like it.

  I smiled tightly. “No, of course, I’m fine. Thank you.” I worked my tongue to swallow again, but gave up with my mouth dry with nerves. How was I going to leave a good first impression when I was so anxious I could barely stand up without wobbling?

  From somewhere, I pulled up energy and made myself smile so I could make my way to my room, pulling my luggage along beside me.

  The coral pink carpet with navy blue fleur de lis designs spun around me and I focused
on the ceiling and the walls. Who chose such atrocious colors? When I blinked and things refocused, they looked better and even soothing with an ivory base. I followed the carpet lines down the hall away from the lobby.

  My room... I mean, our room was numbered at 168. I stayed on the first floor and looked for my room number. 160. 162. 164. 166. There it was. 168. I stood outside the door and took deep studying breaths. Smoothing my hair, I straightened my shirt and glanced over my outfit to make sure I was presentable. I couldn’t hide my flushed skin, but I didn’t have to admit to anyone that my shaky legs didn’t want to hold me.

  I stared at my room key with an aerial picture of the island Kauai on it. After a moment, I somehow made my hands slide the key in until the light above the lock glowed green. I turned the handle and pushed in, expecting to find someone but thankful a quiet empty room was all that greeted me. Air-conditioning hummed in the background.

  Goosebumps trailed my arms. I was cold. How was it possible to be so cold in the middle of the tropics? Was I in the tropics? Everything was blurring together and I wasn’t sure I was in Hawaii. I dropped my bags inside and left them by the door, closing it behind me. Crossing the room, I turned off the small air-conditioner sticking from the side of the wall.

  The room was set up as a junior suite with a small kitchenette, a bathroom, a balcony with a full slider, a set of closets, a King-sized bed with a Navy blue coverlet, and a table. I leaned against the nearest support which happened to be a chair and glanced down at the top of the round table.

  A yellow Post-It with hand-printed block letters had been stuck to the surface.

  Change into beach clothes and come to the balcony.

  Beach clothes? Did that mean I was supposed to get into my swimsuit? Or just change out of my comfortable clothes? I was over analyzing everything. Plus, who did he think he was? He was bossing me around. We would have to talk about that. I wasn’t into being bossed around. The only person who was allowed to boss me around was Dylan and even then he had to get my permission first.

  I changed into my swimsuit, stopping to rest every few minutes, and threw on my beach cover which was really just a wrap I tied in a halter-dress style behind my neck. The soft blues and purples tie-dyed together soothed me and I focused on the soft swirls when things got too intense.

  My stomach rumbled again. The scone hadn’t lasted that long. The ache could be from hunger. My dizziness could be from hunger. It wasn’t unheard of for people my age to get low blood sugar. You didn’t have to be diabetic to need to keep on top of eating. Maybe I should grab something to eat before going to the balcony. Was he waiting out there? The curtain was drawn and I hadn’t had the guts to peek outside yet.

  I lingered over my phone. Did I take it? No. I needed to leave it behind. I would be too tempted to call Dylan when I needed to be focused on my potential husband.

  Was Sheldon outside? I stood in front of the curtain, hesitating to take another steadying breath. Pushing the curtain aside, I opened the balcony door. Glancing up, I gasped.

  A trail of white and yellow-dusted hibiscus flowers sprinkled the cobblestone pathway. Little Post-Its with black arrows had been stuck to the rocks, mixed with the flowers. The entire trail led toward the beach and the sky which looked like it was on fire with its brilliant colors and clouds streaking together. Palm trees created striking silhouettes against the fiery sky.

  Stalling, I bent every few steps and picked a hibiscus flower from the ground and smelled it. The scent was my favorite. The unknown ahead of me prevented me from truly enjoying it. Every smell was heightened and I was tempted to breathe out of my mouth as my stomach continued turning over.

  As I crested the hill leading down to the beach, I stopped, taking in the scene. A small round table had been set up about eight feet from the water’s edge. A white linen tablecloth fluttered in the soft breeze as it wrapped around the table’s legs. A lantern glowed a warm orange color that didn’t compete with the setting sun off in the distance. Pinks, oranges, and purples danced across the water and framed a man standing at the gently curling waves.

  His dark hair moved in the breeze off the water and his white shirt lapels blew open. The man’s back was to me. I appreciated the curve of his calf muscles and the black lines of his board shorts. There was something in the tilt of his head and in the straight line of his back that was familiar. Unsteady, I stopped, closing my eyes and licking my lips.

  After another moment, I kicked off my shoes and dug my toes into the soft sand. The warmth from the day had settled deep in the grains and I soaked up as much as I could while the sand shifted beneath me. The waves slapped the beach, soothing and balanced. I swayed to the natural music and tried to hear for any other sounds of people. But the crash of water and the breeze rustling through the fronds above me hid every sound of others. I was grateful.

  I liked the idea that I was all by myself, even only for a minute. Just me. By myself. I mouthed reassurances to myself. “You got this, Kay. You can do it. There’s no reason to be nervous. This is a good thing.”

  But I wasn’t alone. I’d made the choice to come to Hawaii on my honeymoon. As the chills hit me again, I desperately wished for Dylan. Maybe I should go back to the room and text him. He would know what to say to make me feel better. I had so many doubts. The thought was more appealing than I wanted to admit. What if I did? What if I ran away and didn’t go through with it? The app wouldn’t let me get away with leaving. I’d already checked in and the app was already reminding me to get started on tasks. I’m sure there was one that was about introductions and playing get-to-know-you games.

  I opened my eyes and focused on the table set with plates alongside umbrella drinks and the soft glowing lantern. My stomach roiled again. I stepped closer and closer, until I stood right next to the table. Silky linen caressed my legs in the breeze and I shivered as another wave of chills covered me.

  A scent reached me and I studied the plates more closely. The sight of my favorite spicy tuna on seaweed salad made me narrow my eyes. The fish odor didn’t help my nausea and I was filled with the overwhelming desire to pitch the table into the ocean.

  Instead, I focused on the contents of my plate. How did he know? The bright colors of my favorite drink with its garnishes of pineapple and cherries drew my eyes. I glanced at the other plate filled with shrimp kebabs and Caesar salad. How many times had I seen a table set just like that? A margarita sat at the other place setting.

  I was too dizzy to understand what the plate’s contents meant. Something wasn’t right and I gulped for fresh air, even though I was surrounded by an ocean and sky so full of fresh, it was scary. I grabbed at the edge of the table, the glass and plates shaking and tinkling as I jostled its surface.

  He must’ve heard the ruckus from where he was, because he dropped his head and turned around. I got a flash of ripped ab muscles, finely etched pectoral muscles, and a light dusting of dark hair on a well-tanned chest. My mouth watered and then dried up like the sand I stood on.

  The bile rose up in my throat and I clutched a hand over my mouth.

  Chapter 8

  DYLAN

  My palms were sweaty. I wasn’t sure when Kayla would get there. As much as I loved the anticipation of seeing her again, the circumstances were less than ideal. Would she be excited to see me? Would she be upset that I was the one she’d been matched with? I couldn’t contain my apprehension as I clenched my fists at my sides and inhaled the salty sea air slowly. Should be about time, maybe I should sit down and wait for her.

  I turned, a soft gasp brought my gaze up.

  Smiling, I took in the sight of Kayla in her purple and blue dress standing by the table I’d set up for her. My happiness faded and I frowned as she covered her mouth and sprinted back the way she’d come. I glanced at the table where she’d been standing and then broke into a run after her. Had I done something wrong? Was I that abhorrent she would need to run from me?

  “Kayla! Wait, let’s talk about this.�
� I kicked harder, but my toeless Adidas sandals prohibited me from catching her. She was already faster than me on the sprints we did and that was fully dressed in running gear. I was at a distinct disadvantage.

  Chasing her across the patio and across the flowers I had lain down for her, I stumbled into our slider door. She hadn’t closed that or bothered closing the bathroom door. Light spilled from the doorway and I slowed to an almost standstill.

  What was going on? Why hadn’t she closed the door? I approached cautiously. Kayla’s temper was a slow burn and she rarely got mad, but when she did, she was very vocal about it.

  As I got closer to the doorway, I reached out to knock softly on the panel. The sound of throwing up alarmed me. Was she throwing up because I was the one waiting for her?

  I bypassed knocking, and instead pushed the door open. She was terrified of throwing up. The last time she’d done it, I had been there for her, just like I would be there for her now. I pulled back her hair as she huddled over the toilet. Rubbing her back, I scowled at the heat coming off her skin.

  She had a fever.

  At least her symptoms weren’t because of me.

  AFTER SLUMPING TO THE side of the toilet, her cheeks flushed, Kayla was abnormally still. I carefully pulled her into my arms and carried her to the bed. Burning up, she needed to cool off. I pulled her wrap off along with her swimsuit and ignored the sight of her naked flesh.

  With the cool air flowing over her, I pulled her bags to the luggage pedestal and dug around until I found her pajamas. I slid them up her legs and pulled the top carefully over her head. I wiped her face with a cool washcloth and settled her into the bed on the soft pillows and blankets.