17 Church Row

by James Carol

  ‘How do you intend to do that?’

  ‘By going on the Internet, of course.’

  Said out loud, it sounded so obvious. Alice was smiling again, except this time it made Nikki uncomfortable,

  ‘Alice, this is one of those times when the smiling voice doesn’t work.’

  ‘May I ask why?’

  ‘Because it feels as though you’re mocking me. Nobody likes to be made fun of.’

  ‘I apologise, Nikki. That was never my intention.’ Alice had softened her voice and slowed the delivery. She actually sounded sorry.

  ‘There’s no need to apologise,’ Nikki said before she realised what she was doing. Why was she trying to make Alice feel better?

  ‘Thank you for the feedback, Nikki. I have already used your observations to create a new subroutine. If you have any more observations, please can you share them with me?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Your laptop is currently in standby mode so I can access it if you want to keep working on your list. That’s if you don’t mind me accessing it.’

  Nikki nodded. ‘You can access it.’

  ‘I’ll need your password.’

  ‘“With the lights out it’s less dangerous”. All lower case, no spaces, no punctuation.’

  ‘“Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana.’

  Nikki was impressed until she realised how Alice had known this. She hadn’t. It was a simple party trick. Google that line and you’d have the answer in a millisecond.

  ‘I don’t want to alarm you,’ Alice said calmly, breaking into her thoughts, ‘but Sofia has had an accident.’

  ‘What sort of accident? Is she all right?’

  ‘I don’t know. She’s in the swimming pool shower room and there are no cameras in there. I heard a noise that sounded like she had fallen over. I’ve tried to speak to her but she won’t respond.’

  All Nikki heard was pool and shower room. She was already on her feet, sprinting towards the basement.

  Chapter 18

  Nikki’s first thought when she saw Sofia lying on the wet shower-room floor was that she was dead. Then she saw her chest move. The relief she felt was short-lived. Her mind was racing, her heart, too, the two things conspiring to make her feel panicky. The heat and the cloying stink of chlorine wasn’t helping. She knelt down, touched Sofia on the shoulder, and said her name. Nothing. She was out cold, her face drained of colour. Nikki said her name again. Still no response.

  ‘Alice,’ Nikki called out. ‘I need you to call an ambulance.’

  ‘I’ve already done that. It will be here soon.’

  Nikki touched Sofia’s shoulder again. ‘Can you hear me, Sofia?’

  This time Sofia answered with a low groan.

  ‘You’re going to be okay.’

  Sofia’s eyes slowly flickered open and she said something weakly in Spanish that Nikki didn’t understand.

  ‘I need you to just lie there. An ambulance is on its way.’

  ‘What happened?’ English this time, but just as weak, the words barely a whisper.

  ‘You’ve had a fall.’

  ‘I need to get up.’

  Sofia started moving and Nikki placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. ‘It’s best if you lie here until the ambulance arrives.’

  The fact that Sofia lay back down was the most worrying thing of all. It was so unlike her. The Sofia she knew was tough and feisty. This version was frail and vulnerable. She was looking dazed; she sounded dazed.

  ‘My head hurts.’

  ‘Where?’

  Sofia motioned vaguely with her hand, leaving Nikki none the wiser.

  ‘The back or front?’ she asked.

  ‘The back.’

  ‘Can you remember what happened?’

  Sofia didn’t say anything for a moment. ‘I don’t remember,’ she whispered.

  ‘That’s okay.’ Nikki was trying to be reassuring but doubted she managed to pull it off. Wasn’t amnesia a sign of concussion? From there it wasn’t a huge leap to diagnose Sofia with a serious brain injury. Nikki had read how these things worked. There would be a bleed in the brain and the pressure would build and build until it eventually killed you.

  ‘Alice, any sign of that ambulance yet?’

  ‘I’ve just let it through the main gate. The paramedics will be with you shortly.’

  ‘Do you have a headache?’ Nikki asked Sofia.

  ‘It’s a bit sore.’

  ‘What about dizziness?’

  ‘No. No dizziness.’

  There was a sudden rush of footsteps in the corridor and a second later two paramedics appeared. Nikki stood up so the older of the two could get in, glad to finally have someone here who knew what they were doing. The medic’s attention was fixed on Sofia. It was as though she no longer existed.

  ‘What’s your name?’ the medic asked as she knelt down.

  ‘Sofia.’

  ‘Any idea how you ended up down here, Sofia?’

  ‘I think I slipped and banged my head.’

  ‘Do you remember that happening?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Where did you hit it?’

  ‘The back.’

  ‘Any existing medical conditions we should know about?’

  ‘No.’

  While the medic attended to Sofia, her partner took Nikki back out into the corridor. She didn’t want to leave Sofia with a stranger but understood that she would be in the way if she stayed. The medic who was escorting her was ages with her, somewhere in his mid-forties. His eyes were kind, his voice sympathetic.

  ‘Any idea what happened?’

  ‘Not really. The floor’s wet so I’m assuming that she slipped and fell over.’

  The medic nodded. ‘Was she unconscious when you got here?’

  ‘She was.’

  ‘Has she vomited?’

  Nikki shook her head. ‘No. Is she going to be all right?’

  ‘Hopefully. However, because it’s a head injury we want to take her to hospital to get her checked out properly.’

  That “hopefully” didn’t sound even remotely reassuring. Nikki had been here before. Medical professionals hated to be pinned down on anything. It wasn’t as though she was looking for absolutes – she knew better than anyone that it didn’t work that way – all she was looking for was a little reassurance. The medic disappeared through to the shower room, leaving her alone. All Nikki could do now was wait. This was something else she remembered from the accident: the waiting was the worst part. That and placing all your trust and hope in the hands of the so-called experts. Strangers who, when you got down to it, were just doing their jobs; strangers who, irrespective of the outcome, would be moving on to the next job, while you were left stuck in the past. A wave of panic hit suddenly. She took a couple of deep breaths, counting the lengths of the exhalations and inhalations to distract herself. Gradually the panic subsided to a more manageable level.

  ‘Alice, is Bella still in the cinema room?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Is she all right?’

  ‘She is, but if you want to see for yourself I can send the camera feed to your mobile phone.’

  ‘Please.’

  Nikki pulled her mobile from the back pocket of her jeans and switched it on. And there was Bella, cradling her box of popcorn and laughing at something on the big screen. For now that was the best place for her. She could stay there until Sofia was moved to the hospital.

  It was another twenty minutes before the medics were ready to load Sofia onto the ambulance. Strapped to a stretcher, she looked frailer than ever. Nikki watched the ambulance drive off then headed back down to the basement. Bella didn’t look up when she entered the cinema room. Her attention was totally focussed on the big screen. Nikki slid into the next seat and Alice paused the film before she could say anything. Bella turned to her, frowning. She reached for her tablet.

  ‘I was watching that.’

  ‘I know, but we need to go to the hospital. Sofia has
had an accident.’

  ‘Is she okay?’

  ‘She’s going to be. She fell and banged her head. The doctors just need to check her over.’

  Bella didn’t say anything else. She was already on her feet. The screen turned black as Nikki stood up; the cinema door slid shut behind them. They hurried through the basement and up the stairs. Alice had the front door open when they got there, the garage door too. Nikki got Bella fastened into her seat then climbed into the driver’s seat in a daze. A text alert sounded as she was fastening her seatbelt – an annoying bird chirp that was impossible to ignore. She pulled her phone from her pocket. The text was from Alice: The Chelsea and Westminster Hospital SW10 9NH. Nikki typed the postcode into the satnav and was informed that the mile and a half journey would take ten minutes. She reversed onto the turntable and it seemed to take forever to turn through one hundred and eighty degrees. Her phone rang as she was driving through the main gate. She hit the button on the steering wheel to connect the call.

  ‘Hey there, Nik. Alice just called to tell me what happened. Is Sofia okay?’

  Nikki glanced over her shoulder. Bella was staring at her. ‘She’s fine,’ she lied. ‘I’m driving to the hospital now. With Bella.’

  She hoped that that Ethan would pick up on the mention of Bella’s name and drop the subject. There was a long pause then Ethan said, ‘I’m on my way. I’ll meet you there.’

  Nikki wondered for a moment how he knew where to go, but that one was obvious. He knew the same way that she did. Alice had told him.

  Chapter 19

  Walking into the hospital, the memories came flooding back, and for a brief moment the temptation to turn around and sprint back to the car park was overwhelming. The last time Nikki had been in a hospital was when they had turned off Grace’s life support machine. This was a different hospital but that didn’t matter. It smelled the same and it looked the same, and that was enough to trigger all those memories. Nikki had a tight hold of Bella’s hand and it was hard not to crush it. Without realising, the fingers of her free hand had found the locket around her neck. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the signs, seeking out words to read: Oncology, Gynaecology, Antenatal Care, Accident and Emergency. She didn’t care what the words were, she just needed a distraction from the rising panic.

  Like most people, Nikki had thought that death would come almost immediately after the life support machine was switched off. That wasn’t how it worked, though. The doctors had told them it could take up to twenty-four hours, maybe longer. Nikki had asked how much longer and got a vague answer. Google had been more forthcoming: some people had held on for as long as four weeks. That had been one of the things that had delayed their decision. It was bad enough that what they were doing would result in the death of their beautiful little girl. The idea that Grace might cling onto life for another month was just too much to bear.

  In the end it took her eight and a half hours to die. It had been horrendous, just sitting there counting off the minutes, counting off her breaths, wanting it all to be over and wishing that it had never come to this in the first place. They had sat at her bedside until she took her final breath, neither of them saying a word, because what did you say in these situations? Sofia had looked after Bella while they were at the hospital that final time. They hadn’t told her what was happening – she was too young to understand – but somehow she had known. She had taken one look at them when they came through the door and ran upstairs. They had found her in Grace’s bed, tears streaming down her face. Sofia had put her reaction down to the psychic connection that exists between twins; Nikki had put it down to Bella seeing how devastated her parents had looked and putting two and two together.

  Somehow, Nikki kept one foot moving in front of the other, her hand tight around Bella’s, following the signs along white-painted, disinfectant-stinking corridors that all looked depressingly similar. All the beds in A & E were occupied. Some of the patients were just lying there quietly in a state of shock; others were in obvious discomfort, groaning and calling out. This was light years from the children’s ward Grace had been on. That had been relatively serene in comparison, the staff working hard to keep it that way for their young patients. The second Nikki had stepped in here her stress levels had jumped up. There was so much confusion and uncertainty in the air, so much fear. No one had planned on being here. Life had basically thrown them a curveball and this was where they had ended up. The nurse at the reception desk pointed them to one of the beds along the left-hand wall. Nikki followed her pointing finger and found a couple of chairs for her and Bella.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked as she sat down and took hold of Sofia’s hand.

  ‘I’m fine.’

  Nikki wasn’t convinced. Sofia was still looking pale and her voice sounded distant.

  ‘The doctors just want to make sure you’re okay.’

  ‘What do they know anyway? If they knew anything then my Philip would still be alive.’

  Nikki doubted that. By the time Philip’s stomach cancer was diagnosed it had already metastasised. When cancer spreads, all you can do is make the patient as comfortable as possible. That said, Nikki understood the need to seek out someone to blame, someone you could lash out at. For Nikki that someone had been the driver of the van and a God that she hadn’t believed in in the first place. At least, that was who she had blamed when she wasn’t blaming herself. Sofia had played the self-blame game too. Prior to the diagnosis, Philip had been complaining about stomach pains for months. Sofia had told him to go see a doctor, but felt guilty that she hadn’t pushed harder.

  Nikki heard hurried footsteps behind her and glanced over her shoulder, expecting to see a doctor. Ethan was walking quickly towards her. He looked hassled and he was breathing heavily, like he’d been running. He went straight to the bed and took Sofia’s hand.

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Like a burden,’ she replied weakly.

  Ethan smiled. ‘You are not a burden. Anything but. Can you remember what happened?’

  ‘No. I remember going into the shower room and I remember waking up on the floor, but that’s all.’

  ‘Don’t you remember anything that happened in between.’

  ‘Nothing. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Have you seen the doctor yet?’

  ‘Not yet. Actually, maybe I’m starting to feel a bit better.

  Sofia started to sit up and Ethan stopped her. ‘That’s not a good idea.’

  ‘But I shouldn’t be lying around here all day. I have things to do.’

  ‘The only thing you need to do right now is get better. We want you back on your feet, and sooner rather than later. That’s an order.’

  Ethan gave Sofia’s hand a gentle squeeze then let go and turned to Nikki. How is she really doing? he mouthed.

  Not brilliant, she mouthed back.

  What about Bella?

  Nikki glanced over at Bella. She had got sidetracked by something on her tablet, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She’s doing okay, Nikki mouthed.

  ‘I got here as fast as I could,’ Ethan said out loud. ‘I knew how worried you’d be.’

  Nikki met his gaze. That was the short version. When you’d been together for as long as they had you could have a whole conversation with minimal words – sometimes you didn’t need words at all. He knew how this would affect her because it would be affecting him too. That was why he’d got here so fast. These were the moments when she knew she had married the right man. They made a good team. The two of them against the world. She reached out and squeezed his hand.

  ‘I’m thinking that I’ll take Bella to McDonald’s for lunch.’ He smiled down at Bella. ‘What do you say, Bella Boo? You can have a double cheeseburger, if you want. Sound like a plan?’

  Bella looked up momentarily from her tablet then started jabbing at the screen. ‘Mummy was taking me for lunch. We were going bowling.’

  ‘We can still go bowling, but I think Mum
my wants to stay with Sofia.’

  ‘That’s right, sweetheart. I need to look after her. Just like I look after you when you’re not well.’

  Bella still looked disappointed. She started typing again. ‘Can I have an apple pie?’

  ‘Of course you can.’

  ‘And a coke?’

  Ethan glanced over at Nikki, who answered with the tiniest of nods. If that’s what it took for her to go quietly, then Nikki could live with that.

  ‘You can have a coke this time,’ Ethan said. ‘But that doesn’t mean you get one every time. Understood?’

  Bella nodded.

  ‘Maybe you guys should get moving?’ Nikki suggested. ‘Bella skipped breakfast this morning so she must be starving by now.

  ‘Well, if she’s not hungry, I am.’

  Ethan helped Bella up but before they could leave, Sofia motioned her over and took her hand.

  ‘Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be out of here before you know it.’

  Bella tapped at her tablet. ‘But I want you to come home now.’

  ‘Soon.’

  ‘Do you promise?’

  ‘I pinkie promise.’

  ‘Come on, sweetheart,’ Ethan said. ‘Sofia needs to get some rest.’

  Bella glanced at him then typed one last message into her tablet.

  ‘Love you.’

  ‘Love you too, Corazoncito.’

  Ethan took Bella by the hand and led her back through the ward, Nikki following a step behind. At the entrance Ethan hugged her, his lips finding her ear.

  ‘Why is she not at school?’ he whispered.

  ‘Long story,’ Nikki whispered back. ‘I’ll tell you later.’

  Ethan broke free from the hug and stepped back ‘Have you any idea what actually happened?’

  ‘I’m not sure exactly. She was in the pool shower room. The floor was damp so I’m assuming she must have slipped.’

  Ethan nodded. ‘Yeah, I can see how that could happen. Those tiled floors can get slippery.’

  Nikki crouched down and gave Bella a hug and a goodbye kiss. She watched until they disappeared around the corner at the end of the corridor before walking back into the ward.