The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  With the bagel toasting and the coffee brewing, I started on the pots left in the sink from last night. I dug out my yellow rubber gloves and turned on the faucet when there was a knock on the door. Frowning, I turned the water off, and looked through the peep hole. It was Liam.

  I unlocked the door and went back to my dishes.

  “Enter,” I said.

  The door opened, and Liam stepped in.

  “I have to leave in like eight minutes or I’ll be late for work, so talk fast,” I said scrubbing dried pasta sauce.

  Liam came into the kitchen. From my peripheral vision I noticed he was wearing his black peacoat which meant he was either coming or going. His eyes were wide.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. Turning off the water again.

  “I’ve come at a bad time,” he said, turning his back to me.

  It was then, that I realized I didn’t have my shirt on. Naturally.

  “You’re fine.” I said, walking past him to the dryer, praying the shirt was semi-dry in the few minutes it was in there. “I was just trying to get out some wrinkles in my shirt.”

  Liam kept his eyes diverted as I ripped off the gloves and put my shirt back on which somehow looked worse than before I put it in the dryer.

  “You don’t own an iron?” he asked.

  “Own one. Yes. Know where it is or how to use it? Not so much. My family was not exactly domestically inclined.”

  “It’s not hard. I could show you.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’ll pass. You’re not so good with delicate things. Like my ass,” I said, rubbing my butt for affect.

  Liam’s eyes pinched closed. “Look, about that…”

  The toaster popped and I brushed past him to tend to my breakfast. He really did have the worst timing ever. I couldn’t get into this right now. I had to go.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. You didn’t like it. Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, okay?” I smeared cream cheese on the bagel with more force than I meant, tearing it in half.

  “No. It wasn’t that I didn’t like what you were doing…it’s just…”

  I sighed and put the knife down. “It’s just what, Liam? Spit it out. I have to go to work.”

  He let out a quick breath then spoke. “It made me react in a way I hadn’t anticipated. Physically,” he said, deflated.

  I put my hands over my mouth. “I gave you a hard on?”

  His jaw just clenched a few times.

  Fist pumping the air I beamed. “Yes! I still got it!”

  “It’s not funny, Chloe. I wasn’t prepared for that to happen.”

  “Liam, it’s not a bad thing. That’s what happens. It’s totally normal.”

  He shook his head vehemently. “Not with your best friend it’s not. That was unacceptable, and I have to apologize for my behavior.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Your body doesn’t care who is on the other side of a kiss. It just reacts. It’s biology. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It means you are a normal guy. If you hadn’t had any reaction to my moves I would actually be insulted.”

  Liam looked at me, pondering my answer. “So, you were expecting that to happen?”

  “Well, yeah, at some point. Admittedly, I didn’t figure it would happen quite that fast, but it makes sense. You haven’t had a lot of practice holding that part of you back. In fact, it’s probably good that we practice now. Otherwise poor Angel is going to get quite the show the second she touches you.”

  Liam’s eyes bugged out. “That wouldn’t happen, would it?”

  “You just need to practice restraint.” I went back to my breakfast. “Look, we’ll talk about this more when I get out tonight, okay? Maybe we’ll try again?”

  He nodded once as I filled up my travel mug with coffee.

  “It’s going be okay, Liam. We’ll get you ready for your date. We have loads of time. Have a little faith,” I said winking at him.

  I shooed him out of my place and we walked out of the building together, parting ways when we got outside. We worked on opposite ends of the city. He could afford a cab, but he always walked and arrived twenty minutes early. Me? A mad dash to catch the train, and being at least five minutes late, every single day.

  Once on the train, I had the hardest time zoning out to my music. Usually, the 80s brought me to my happy place, where I could ignore the fact that I was going to have to bust ass to make ends meet yet again. But today, my mind was elsewhere. Stupid Liam and his stupid favor. While it pleased me that I had been able to get a literal rise out of him, I was beginning to wonder if this was going to be a good idea. Was this ‘experiment’ a clear violation of the friend line? Even if neither one of us had any romantic feelings for the other…was it dangerous to play with that line? Liam likely worried about me falling for him, but what if the reverse happened in this process? He might get confused. Being so inexperienced, he might mistake our practice as real…Then it would be me hurting him instead of Angel. I couldn’t let that happen.

  Boundaries. We needed to set some firm ones if this was going to happen. Some safe words, maybe. There needed to be a clear way to stay focused on the mission.

  I got so lost in my thoughts that I missed my stop completely and had to double back, making me fourteen minutes late for work and garnering a glare from the waitress whose tables I was taking over.

  “Sorry, delay on the train.”

  “Whatever. You have a five-top on twelve, a solo on the patio and a seven-top with more coming on ten. They have their drinks already. You’re welcome.” Ellen handed me the notepad and whipped her apron off.

  “Thanks,” I said deflating her passive aggressive attitude. It didn’t stop her from flipping me the bird. What a bitch.

  Fridays were, by far, the busiest days. People just got paid and had money to burn. Tips usually panned out well, though breakfast and lunch shifts never generated squat. A measly $70 bucks to my name after an exhausting shift and I was toast. I couldn’t wait for November to roll around. That’s when the holiday shoppers came out. Granted, they didn’t tip as heavy as the summer season, but there were more of people eating out in general. November tips got me through all of December and parts of January some years.

  Folding my cash in my pocket, I sighed. This wasn’t going to be enough to cover rent. At this rate, I’d need to try and get a double or two next week. Even picking up Saturday evening would be good. Or a Sunday Brunch. Church folk were usually generous after service. Before leaving, I checked the board to see if anyone posted needing to drop a shift. Naturally, there were only three offers already posted to pick up Saturdays. Figures. I scribbled my name on a piece of paper, pinned it to the board, and hoped for the best.

  After work, I had to run to the store to buy food, which took forever. The line at the Chinese joint was insanely long and it was cold by the time I got a chance to eat it.

  Sleep was the only thing on my mind when I got on the train heading home. Naturally, there really was a delay this time. That Karma. She always gets you.

  By the time I finally made it to my building I was dead on my feet. Climbing up the stairs to my apartment because the damn elevator was out again, I yawned and yanked out the elastic caging my hair back. My brain sighed in relief as I ripped out bobby pins. I rounded the corner and found Liam sitting on the floor, leaning his head against my door.

  “You’re late,” he said.

  “Trains suck. What are you doing in the hall?”

  “Waiting for you,” he said, as though that should have been obvious.

  “Yes, Einstein, I figured that out, but why are you keeping me away from my Netflix and wine time?”

  He pushed himself off the floor and stood up.

  “This won’t take long,” he said.

  “What won’t?”

  He rounded his shoulders. “I want you to try it again. The ear thing. I think I can resist it now.”

  Ah. So that’s what sprung him. Ears were super sensitive and
could go either way, a turn on or an off-limit touch. Guess now I knew which his was.

  I frowned. I knew Liam well enough to know that he would keep asking until I did it again, and I really wanted to sink down onto my couch and veg.

  “Fine. I smell like fried food and misery, but fine.” I said, dropping my bag to the floor with a thunk. I grabbed his head a bit more aggressively then he probably was prepared for and pushed him against the wall. I heard him grunt against me, but I didn’t stop. He wanted this, he was going to get it.

  I ran my hands up his arms just as I did before then dug my hands in his hair, and then proceeded to nip at his ear. Hot and slow, just like before, except I worked his lobe longer.

  To his credit, Liam stayed still, even though I was pinning him to the wall he could have easily shoved me off.

  Deciding to give him the win, I pulled away.

  “You did it.” I grinned.

  Liam groaned, looking down at his erection. “No, I didn’t.”

  Whoopsie. My bad.

  “Well, guess we’ll need to try that move again. Tomorrow. Night, Liam,” I sang, picking up my bags and letting myself into my apartment, leaving Liam in the hall with his hands over his crotch.

  I smiled. Go me.

  Chapter 4

  Sleep was the best thing ever. I dare say, even more satisfying than sex. Sleeping with no alarm clock in sight was better than any orgasm. Which is why I was ready to rip the head off whoever was pounding on my door at the ungodly hour of eight AM.

  “Go away. I gave at the office!”

  The pounding only intensified.

  “Chloe? I need you. Please open up.”

  Liam. I’m gonna kill him. He won’t need to worry about kissing Angel cause he’s gonna be dead. Ripping my covers off, I plodded my way through the apartment and yanked open the door, nearly tearing it off its hinges.

  “What?” I shouted.

  He was standing there, holding out a cup of Starbucks and what smelled like an everything bagel in a small brown bag, looking particularly pathetic.

  I grabbed both from his hands and glared at him.

  “This does not mean that I forgive you for waking me up,” I said. I turned away from him, leaving the door open as an invitation and went into the kitchen to eat his peace offering.

  “I’m sorry to wake you. I didn’t realize you’d still be asleep,” he said, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

  “Liam, how many times have we ever done something before noon on a Saturday?”

  “Um…”

  “None. Exactly none. I sleep in on Saturdays. I work late on Fridays. This is my one day to doze the day away. It’s my happy time, Liam. I need my beauty sleep.” I gestured down to my wrinkled pjs which were nothing more than an old pair of sweatpants and a faded pink tank top. Great. My nips were showing through the shirt. I started to move my hands over my chest but then I thought better of it. Screw him. He woke me up, he was going to have to squirm with his uncomfortableness. Judging by the way he wasn’t looking me in the eye, he’d noticed, and was appropriately bothered. Good. Served him right.

  My hair, on the other hand, I did make a move to fix. I probably looked like a drowned rat. My hair was still damp from the shower I’d taken before crawling into bed last night. I could feel the tangles at the back of my head. Stealing a hair tie from my wrist I tossed the mess into a bun.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll come back. You said tomorrow, but we never agreed on a time,” he said.

  “No, I’m up now. And hungry now that I’ve smelled this.” I opened the bag and pulled out a perfectly toasted bagel with cream cheese. “Mmm. This almost makes up for the lack of sleep. Almost,” I said taking my first bite. “Now, spill. Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

  He blinked, probably unaware of how well I could read him. Something spooked him. Most likely the fact that his date was fast approaching. That or he knew he’d have to kiss me again and he was horrified.

  “Angel called,” he said after a moment.

  I stopped chewing. “Ah. What’s the soon-to-be ball and chain want?”

  He frowned at me, but he didn’t correct me. “She was wondering if she could move our date up?”

  “Oh? To when?” I said taking another bite.

  He swallowed. “This Friday.”

  Sighing through my food, I put the bagel down.

  “Let me guess, you said yes?”

  He nodded, looking at the ground.

  “You moron,” I said rubbing my temples. Two weeks’ notice was hard enough to get him date ready, now we only had a few days! The boy could barely handle being close to his best friend, how was he going to be able to do it with the love of his life? “Let me get some clothes on. You start the coffee pot. I’m going to need way more caffeine than this,” I held up my cup before I took a sip. Four creamers, Six sugars. Just the way I liked it.

  While Liam busied himself in the kitchen I inhaled my breakfast, made my bed, and pulled out some jeans and a dark gray V-neck T-shirt. If I had been going out on a date, I would have worn my black lace push-up bra with this particular shirt, but since it was just Liam I went for a basic white, no underwire. Purely functional. Never to be seen by anyone but me. My jeans were probably too snug for his taste, but I liked that I didn’t have to wear a belt with them. Plus, they made my butt look good, as any good pair of jeans should.

  Glancing at the clock, I figured we had about four hours until I needed to call in to see if anyone needed me to cover a no-show. Not to mention the rest of the night shifts I had during the following week and the ones I was still hoping to pick up to pay rent. Why did he say yes to her request?

  “Because it’s Angel, Chloe. He’d do anything for her,” I whispered. This was going to be a lost cause no matter what I did, but I owed it to Liam to at least try.

  “Okay,” I said, coming out of my bedroom. Liam was sitting on the couch, nursing a cup of black coffee. “Here’s what we need to do. Since we don’t have the full time I’d hoped for to make you into the sex machine we all know you can be, our goal for the week will be to tease her only.”

  “Meaning?”

  I grinned, “You are allowed to give her one kiss goodnight. You will not cross any line beyond kissing. Not even a feel up, do you understand?”

  “I think so, but how is that teasing? We’ve kissed before, you know?”

  “You gave her a few chaste kisses. Those don’t even count as a kiss in my book. We’re going to give her a heart-stopping, toes-curling kind of kiss. One that will make her wonder why she ever turned you down. One that will never make her want to leave you again.”

  “And just how do we do that?” He raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

  Oh, ye of little faith.

  “By making you the world’s best kisser. Trust me, the way to a woman’s heart starts with her lips. If you kiss a woman the right way, you have her in the palm of your hands for the rest of your days.”

  Liam didn’t look convinced.

  “Fortunately for you, I happen to be an expert kisser. It’s like, my favorite part. Besides the actual orgasm.”

  Liam flinched.

  “Seriously, dude. Grow up. It’s a word, not a venereal disease.” I shook my head, but teaching him how to talk dirty would definitely have to come later. I had a big enough task ahead of me as it was.

  “Step one.” I said, pointing to the door. “Go brush your teeth. In fact, bring your toothbrush back here. We may be at this awhile.”

  “You want to practice now? Don’t you want to wake up first…?” He was stalling. Scared shitless.

  “If you want my help, we have to start now. I may be able to pick up a shift in like, four hours, so our time’s-a-wasting, ding-dong.”

  Liam opened his mouth for a second, probably to scold me for my language, but quickly closed it and left to get his toothbrush. I took that time to do the same. If I was going to be sucking face with my bestie all day, we’d better at least
taste good.

  When he came back a few minutes later, I could smell the Listerine on him. He used the strong stuff. He put a small travel case with his toiletries on my coffee table. I smiled. So, he can follow instructions.

  “Okay, come here,” I said hopping onto my kitchen counter again.

  “You sure about the counter? That didn’t work out so well the last time,” he said.

  “It will if you don’t bolt on me again.” He flinched. “Look, you’re taller than me. If we just stood there and kissed for the next four hours, I’d end up with a kink in my neck, and you in your back. This way, we’re level.”

  “We could sit on the couch—”

  “Also uncomfortable, after like, two minutes. Look,” I said, exasperated. “Who is the expert here?”

  He answered me by coming closer but he still stood three feet away.

  “I thought we established this yesterday? You have to get closer enough for my lips to touch you.”

  “I know, I just wanted to make sure you were ready.” He took a step closer. He was still too far away, but close enough that I could reach his hand. I pulled him gently to me, so we were chest to chest again like last night.

  “You want her to be about this close, okay? You need to feel her against you. Now, she probably has bigger boobs than I do, but boobs squish, so don’t hesitate to bring her exactly this close. Got it?”

  He looked down at the space between us as though doing a mental memorization of the distance, probably down to the centimeter. Once satisfied with his assessment, he glanced back up at me and nodded.

  “Don’t stress about it. You want her close enough so that you can feel her breasts against your chest.” I pressed myself closer against him. “Can you feel that?” I asked, wondering if he was even registering the feeling. His eyes had darted off me and seemed focused elsewhere.

  “Yes. I feel it,” he said after a deliberate moment.

  “You know, often times, when trying to knock a woman’s socks off, it helps if you actually look at her,” I muttered.

  “Sorry,” he said. “This just really awkward for me.”