The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  When his hand dipped under my shirt I let out a caged moan, causing him to kiss me harder. Fuck me. He really was getting the hang of this.

  My back arched upwards towards his hand as it worked up my ribcage. He was going for my breast and I was ready for him. I wanted his hands all over me. His hands dug into my ribs, hungry to touch me but seemingly unsure if he was allowed to. He needed encouraging.

  “Please,” I begged between kisses.

  That was all it took for him to move his hand over my breast…the one without the cell phone in the cup. Hey, I wasn’t about to correct him. He was experimenting, and I was his willing subject. His hands were large and warm against the bra. I rose up to meet his fingers, begging him with my mind to touch all of me. As though he heard me, he shoved thin fabric aside until full contact was made.

  “Yes, just like that,” I panted. My hips began to move against him, so ready to be ravished. When his thumb rubbed against my nipple I felt myself dampen on the spot. His hands were so soft on my breast. Ah, the soothing action of proper lotion use. I wanted this to go on forever, but the next second, he was forcibly removing the cell phone from the other cup. His lips retreated, leaving me cold and wanting.

  “I win,” he said wagging the phone in his hand.

  And I lost. Breathless, I sat there, empty. Reeling from what just happened.

  Liam’s smug little smirk disappeared when he saw my shirt was still lifted and my boob was out of my bra. I looked down to where his eyes landed then back up at him. I could have covered myself up right away, and probably should have, feeling as dejected as I was, but I was sexually frustrated now because of this asshat. So I sat there, exposed to him. My legs were still spread wide. He looked extremely uncomfortable.

  “You won the day,” I said, “but not the war. Just wait until you have to suck on this,” I said, running my own thumb over my erect nipple.

  He audibly gasped, causing me to smirk. I tucked my girl back in her cage slowly and lowered my shirt.

  “I think it may be time for a short break,” I said, knowing I needed to take care of business or I was going to explode.

  “Right. Good idea.”

  “Meet me back in about an hour.” I said. I wouldn’t need that long, but he might. Plus, some distance might be good to lower the heat level.

  I hopped off the counter and went to my bedroom, unable to wait for him to leave. My hands were already reaching into my underwear, not even waiting for him to leave. I needed release. And I needed it fast.

  Life was so unfair. Why did Angel get to reap the reward of my efforts?

  Because he’s not yours, Chloe. He. Is. Not. Yours.

  Chapter 8

  Once inside my room, I went straight under the covers to take matters into my own hands. When I agreed to help him, I hadn’t anticipated kissing Liam was going to screw with my libido to this degree. I thought I’d be more in control somehow. I mean, I’ve always been able to sort of shut this switch off in the past. I don’t know why this was so hard to do with him? Perhaps, it was because I knew that this wasn’t going anywhere, so my mind and body could relax into the moment instead of thinking ten steps ahead, which was my normal pattern: is he going to stay the night or am I going to ask him out again? Does he like what I’m doing, or do I need to switch things up? Would he make a good boyfriend, or will my mom absolutely hate him like she hates all my other boyfriends?

  Admittedly, I have a hard time focusing on the present. I’m always outside of the current moment. Maybe teaching Liam to do the slow burn kiss was also forcing me to slow down and savor the make out moments. Those were few and far between with guys. They wanted to fast forward to the sex. They didn’t need to warm up, they were designed to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. And that’s just what Liam was doing…warming me up. And it was frustrating as hell.

  After I released the pressure, as it were, I went to the bathroom to wash up and got a look at myself in the mirror.

  “Jesus,” I whispered. I looked like hell. No wonder Liam didn’t have an issue with lines blurring when he kissed me. I was no Angel, that’s for sure. About the only thing in common was our dark hair, but even that paled in comparison. Where hers was long and silk-like, falling in waves down her back, mine was in serious need of some major frizz control. Her lips were soft and full, probably by Botox, while mine were red and puffy at present from overuse. Her eyes had that smoky cat-eye thing going on, where as I had perfected the sleep-deprived racoon look. There was no competition between the two of us. I would never come out the winner in this race.

  You were never supposed to enter it, Chloe.

  I let out a breath, chastising myself for doing the one thing I worried he would do: let the line of friendship blur. I had to refocus, get my head wrapped around what was real, and what my hormones thought was reality. Liam is your best friend. Remember. He’s a Ken doll. And Angel is his Barbie. I was Skipper, the homely, lonely doll no one played with.

  That’s when I heard a noise. A repetitive sound, like someone was slowly knocking. Curious, I poked my head out of the bedroom and discovered the source. It was Liam, banging his head against my table. He hadn’t left.

  “Liam…Pumpkin. What did my table ever do to you?”

  He stopped the pounding and looked up at me with eyes that held an anguish I’d not seen on him before.

  “Liam? What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Why would you send that text?” he asked.

  I stared at him for a moment trying to remember what I’d said. It hadn’t been anything bad.

  “What was wrong with it? I helped you. You couldn’t leave her with your message. It was too cold. Too formal. We are trying to tease her, remember?”

  I seriously didn’t understand why he was so worked up about it. I made him sound sexy and suave.

  “She texted back,” he said, going back to beating his head on the table.

  I felt my stomach drop. “Okay…what did she say?” How had I fucked this up already?

  He kept banging his head but lifted his phone. It wasn’t a text message but an image. Of Angel…wearing only a red lace bra.

  “Holy shit. She’s sexting you.”

  He stopped banging his head. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What do I say? This is going too fast. I’m not ready for this.”

  “Liam, you are going to knock her socks off on Friday if you kiss her the way you just kissed me. Seriously. I literally had to rub one out because of what you did to my body. You’re going to do great!”

  Liam’s eyes grew wide at my revelation.

  “What?” I asked, unapologetic. “Yes, I masturbated. The kiss was hot. Sue me. She’s going to want to do the same if you just get out of your own way and let your body take over.”

  I walked over to Liam and sat beside him, rubbing his shoulder. “Your body will take over once you trust it. I mean, think about that last kiss we had. You pulled that off because you weren’t thinking about me or the phone. You were thinking about Angel.” He looked up at me but didn’t say anything. “Now imagine what your body will do when you actually have her in your arms.”

  He started to bang his head again.

  “That’s what worries me,” he said, his head finally at rest. “She’s going take her shirt off and I’m going to be expected to have sex with her. I am well aware of my age and how ancient my thinking of waiting for marriage is, but there is still a large part of me that doesn’t want to cross that line yet. Even with Angel. And I know that if I’m alone with her…and if she’s dressed like that,” he nodded to the phone. “I might go against my own wishes, Chloe, because my body will be weaker than my mind.”

  Seeing him so upset made me realize he was nowhere near comfortable with his sexuality. He had absorbed Angel’s values as his own. He’d turned sex into something dirty and unclean in his mind unless it was done under the umbrella of marriage. This hurdle was something a sexting Angel wasn’t going to wait around for.


  “Okay. It’s okay, Liam. I can fix this.”

  “By Friday?”

  “Yes,” I said firmly. “You have two options. Neither of which you are going to like, though.”

  “What are they?”

  “Option 1, we get her to cancel the date.”

  He frowned. “I think it’s too late for that, Chloe.”

  “I could send her a text. One text and she would never reply to you again. You’d be done with it all.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to cancel.”

  I nodded, figuring as much.

  “So, it’s Option 2. We tease you so you can learn restraint and mind control.”

  Liam considered it. “Well, that sounds ideal, actually. I want to be in control.”

  I smirked. “You say this now, but you may be begging me for Option 1 soon.”

  “The one text?” he said, doubtful, “And just what would you send that would turn Angel away forever?”

  Smiling, I picked up Liam’s phone and flipped open the camera. I walked over to him, ripped my shirt off so I was only in my white bra and straddled his waist. My lips were on him before he could speak. I held out my hand and took the photo.

  “I’d just send her this.” I said, pulling myself off him. I turned the camera around and revealed a hot as fuck photo of him kissing someone other than her. It was damning. Case closed. “One look at that and she’d be so pissed that your number would be lost forever.”

  Liam looked at the photo for a moment, knowing full well how that would look.

  “Option 2, please.”

  I smiled. “Smart and good looking.”

  Liam gave me a weak smile.

  “Okay then, let’s get back at it. It’s time to continue our session, but now with more heat so you can learn control. We are now entering into…heavy petting.”

  Liam swallowed. Damn it all if I didn’t, too.

  “Pardon my ignorance, but…what does that entail? Like, where are the boundaries?”

  “That’s a great question. Mutual consent and boundaries are so important in a relationship, and hardly ever verbalized. Lack of communication can be the silent killer. If you can show Angel your mental maturity at the start of the date, you will win major irresistibility points.”

  “And how do I do that?”

  “Well,” I said, pulling my shirt back on. I walked over to the couch and sat down. I patted the edge of the sofa for him to join me. “If things are going well, and I predict they will, then you do one of the kisses we’ve practiced already—”

  “Which one?”

  “Any of them. Do the one that feels right, but…”

  “But,” he repeated waiting patiently.

  “When you pull away from the kiss, before you go for the boob…or even slip her tongue, set your boundaries. Look into her eyes and say. “Angel, I want you so bad. I’ve wanted you since the first day I met you, but I don’t want to ruin this. I’m not going to sleep with you tonight. I want to make sure our second chance is perfect, because you are worth the wait.”

  Liam listened to me and considered my advice. “That’s actually quite good.”

  I nodded. “Sex will be off the table and she’ll have a deep respect for you. Then, you can sink into the heavy petting because she knows where the boundaries are. Once those boundaries are in place, and only then, can you agree to go to her place.”

  “But you said before one kiss, boob grab, retreat.” He looked nervous.

  “Yes, and that is your first line of attack. If, however, you feel yourself wanting to continue to kiss her, and again, I predict you will, you can do so. But only if you set those boundaries. Make sure you tell her: I want to have sex with you tonight, but I won’t have sex with you. I respect you too much. Got it? That way, you are keeping in line with your morals, but you’re still affirming her desirability.”

  “So, you’re saying once I set the boundaries, she’s going to be content with just kissing?” His uncomfortableness came back.

  “No. I think she’s going to want to jump your bones, but you have options. You can both still get release without actual penetration.”

  I could tell this was stressing him out.

  “For our practice, it will mean only touching above the clothes, okay?” I said. I wasn’t sure I could resist him if I felt him fully against me again, to be honest, so this boundary was for me as much as it was for him.

  A slow nod came from Liam.

  “I’m not sure how heavy petting will be a good way to teach me restraint, though.”

  This was going to be a practice session for the both of us. Him resisting sexual urges and me resisting my best friend. It would be an epic battle of wills.

  “By showing you some of the things she may try with you, you’ll be more prepared. You’ll know what moves excite you, and thus, which ones to avoid.”

  Liam didn’t look convinced.

  “Just get over here and let me feel you up,” I laughed.

  Letting out a breath, he obeyed.

  Chapter 9

  Liam looked at me as I indicated the seat beside me. His eyes darted to our kissing spot as if to say, ‘we’re not in the right place.’

  “We’re changing venue for this part. Plus, we don’t know where your first kiss with Angel is going to happen,” I said. “It probably will be standing outside, but it might end up seated. Eventually, if you want, we’ll work on the bedroom—”

  “The bedroom?” he asked.

  I raised my hand to stop him. I wasn’t finished. Didn’t he know it was rude to interrupt a teacher? “Only when and if you get your restraint issues in hand.” I smirked at my innuendo, but he didn’t find it funny.

  “You said kissing seated is harder.” Liam remained standing, his eyes still on the spot where my hand had patted the couch. His hands balled in and out of fists, almost as though he were trying to get a grip on this new situation, or not think about the bedroom one.

  “It can be more challenging trying to get comfortable. Limbs get in the way. But for some things, it’s easier.”

  That seemed to relieve him some. He sat down on the far opposite end of the couch. I frowned. He scooted closer, but it was still too far away for a proper make out session. Fine. I’d go to him.

  “The bad thing about seated kisses…” I said, walking my hands over to him like a cat, “is that they can very easily turn in to laying down kisses.” I ended my sentence with my lips hot against his ear. His neck muscles tightened.

  “Yes, that’s probably bad,” he said, though the conviction of his statement wasn’t as strong as I would have imagined. Could it be he was enjoying this? No. He was in agony. He hated doing this. He hated doing this with me. Focus, Chloe. You are helping a friend. Don’t read into this.

  I ran a few soft kisses down his neck to force the devil off my shoulder. He, likely unknowingly, turned his head, allowing me full access. This was definitely a hot spot for him. Good to remember.

  “The shift can happen fast, too…” I positioned myself so that my hands were on his chest. It took very little effort to lay his back against the couch. From there, I straddled his hips. I’d taken the power position on top. Lowering myself down, I hovered over his lips. “And once you’re laying down, you’re that much closer to having sex.”

  He sat up abruptly then, pushing me off him. I laughed because I anticipated his reaction. Once I was off him he escaped the couch and began to pace.

  “But that’s not what we’re doing now, correct? We’re just kissing.”

  I laughed again. He was so adorable when he was flustered. “No. I am not going to have sex with you tonight, Liam. That is not what we are doing. I was just warning you that if Angel gets you on your back, start thinking of an escape plan that won’t hurt her feelings.”

  He considered that as he ran his hand over his jaw. He’d been clean shaven this morning, but now he was showing some shadow and it was ridiculously sexy. It would make kissing him extra prickly, but it
was one of those things. Some women hated that sandpaper feeling, others were turned on by it. I, being the slut that I am, liked a rough jaw line, which did not bode well for me in this heavy petting session. I don’t think he realized just how hard this was going to be for me as well. Still, I didn’t want to force him into anything he was uncomfortable with.

  “Liam. Sit. Let’s talk.”

  We weren’t going to get anywhere until we broke past the wall he was hiding behind. After a moment, he came to sit by me, but kept a wide berth between us.

  “Liam, am I pushing you too far? Because we don’t have to do this. Anytime you want to stop, we stop. I’m not trying to scare you or be mean to you. I’m doing it because you asked me to. But…if now that you’re in the thick of it, it’s too much, that’s fine. We don’t have to kiss ever again. I don’t want to risk our friendship over this. It’s too important. Talk to me.”

  “I want to do this…I just…” His hands covered his face as he rubbed away the stress. “I’m just overwhelmed. This is a lot to take on, mentally and physically. I didn’t realize how challenging this would be. It looks so effortless when other people do it.”

  “Yes, well it isn’t. It can be messy, noisy, you can miss your mark, come in too hard or too soft.”

  “So I’m learning,” he groaned.

  I smiled. “But that’s what this is, Liam. Practice. And you have already come so far. Are your lips still too firm sometimes? Yes, but I know it’s because you’re in your head. When you get out of it, your lips turn so soft and warm. Your hands take charge and are no longer timid. When you let your body lead, you knock it out of the park. Those are the moves Angel is going to want more of.”

  “Less brain, more body,” he chanted.

  “Yes. In this, your testosterone can guide you. That hormone knows what it wants. Trust that a little more, but also be aware that you are in control when things go too far. Your body puts on the gas, but your brain pushes the brakes. I think what might work for us, for our purposes…is something to put on those breaks. A safe word.”