The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  Locking my apartment behind me, I debated leaving his jacket on his door handle. I really didn’t want to talk to him, but I also didn’t trust my neighbors not to swipe it.

  Before I knocked, however, I heard a noise coming from inside. It almost sounded like…sobbing? My ear pressed against the door to listen better. Yup. That was definitely crying. I had never seen Liam cry. Not even when his father died last year.

  Pressure formed around my gut. I was stuck between leaving him in peace and needing to comfort him. I was not a fan of my friends crying. Especially when I was probably the one responsible for the tears.

  Without knocking, I opened the door because I knew it would be unlocked. He never locked his door if he was home. Moron.

  When I got inside, I noticed him sitting on his couch. The couch faced away from the door, so he didn’t see me come in. He was hunched over. Still sobbing.

  “Liam? Are you okay?” I whispered.

  He froze then, probably embarrassed he’d been caught being emotional. He wiped his face quickly, stood up and walked into his kitchen without looking at me.

  “What do you need, Chloe?”

  “You left your jacket at my place. I’m going out so, I wanted to make sure you had it…”

  He turned around then, and the kitchen light caught his eyes. Even from here, I could see they were bloodshot. My heart broke for him. Well, until he looked at me with disgust.

  “Where the hell are you going dressed like a call girl?” he asked.

  “Excuse me?” My pity was replaced with anger.

  He just shook his head, clearly disgusted. “Whatever. Go have fun with your latest conquest.”

  Liam turned away from me and went into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

  “Oh, no he didn’t,” I hissed. He did not just shut the door in my face.

  Fuck that shit. He wasn’t getting away with that. I marched through his living room, threw my purse and jacket on the couch and then let myself into his bedroom.

  “Go away, Chloe,” Liam said, face down and spread eagle on his bed.

  “You don’t get to call me a hooker and then shoo me away. That’s not what friends do.”

  He started to laugh, then rolled over. “And what is it that friends do? Get them into situations that they have no hope but failing at? If that’s what friends do, I’ll pass.” He flopped his back onto the bed and threw an arm over his eyes attempting to shut me up. Clearly, he didn’t know me that well.

  “No way, buddy. You don’t get to put all this on me. You are the one who came to me asking for help. You asked me for tips.”

  “Tips!” he shouted sitting up. He got off the bed and stood nose to nose with me. He was pissed. I’d never seen him this angry.

  “I asked you for help in how to behave on a first date. It was you who took it upon yourself to teach me the hands-on approach.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him as I stood there, mouth agape “My idea? You are the one who balked at my suggestion to simply watch some steamy movies and listen to verbal instructions. You wanted this. You asked to kiss me, remember?”

  He frowned realizing I was right, but then barked at me again. “Well, you didn’t need to be quite so thorough.”

  “And why do you think I was, Liam?”

  “Because you wanted me to crash and burn on this date! You wanted to make sure I’d humiliate myself! You knew this would be too much for me to handle!”

  He was clearly in panic mode, which meant he was not going to hear anything I said if I continued to be angry, so I let out a slow breath to reign in my anger so that he stood a chance of actually hearing me. “Okay, for starters, I do not want your date with Angel to fail. In fact, I wanted you to knock her socks off. And the best way to do that is to teach you in the manner that I know you learn best, which is hands on. It’s your learning fucking style, dipshit!” I’d let a touch of my anger show despite my attempt to remain even keeled, but I couldn’t help it. He drove me crazy sometimes.

  He glared at me, but he didn’t say anything because he knew I was right. It’s how he learned the piano, it’s how he learned to solve a Rubik’s Cube in less than a minute, it’s how he learns everything. He needs to get his hands on the problem. Literally. So what if I got some kicks out of the deal, too?

  “Well, your lessons aren’t working. I’m supposed to go out with her in three days and I feel more confused than I was before I agreed to go out with her!” he huffed. He was clearly upset, but it wasn’t with me. He was mad at himself. He sincerely thought he wasn’t making progress. He felt like a failure. That was on me.

  “Liam,” I said, placing a hand on his chest. I could feel his heart thumping loudly through the shirt. Although my hands longed to feel his skin again, I kept them still on the fabric “You have made major steps forward in your efforts. Don’t you remember that it wasn’t that long ago that you head-butted me when you went in for a kiss? Now we have a damn safe word because we keep turning each other on!”

  Liam cocked his head as though having a hard time taking my words as truth. “It’s biology,” I continued. “You touch someone attractive, the body leaps into baby-making mode. It has nothing to do with anything other than instincts. My point, here, is that if I had let you go see Angel before physically showing you what a great kiss felt like, you’d be planning a trip to the ER after you concussed her on her porch steps!”

  “A lot of good that knowledge does, when you haven’t taught me how to turn it off.”

  I raised my eyebrows and walked over to him until I was so close that my boobs hit him. He didn’t back away.

  “That’s my fault? You’re the one who gave up. You chickened out,” I said, pushing even closer to him.

  He shook his head slowly. “You broke the rules when you took my shirt off,” he countered, but he was losing steam. The proximity between us was shrinking. Even I was having a hard time breathing. He was so close to me.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “That was wrong of me. I crossed a line. I’m sorry.”

  His lips were inches away.

  “You’re forgiven.”

  I could feel his gaze on my lips. Just as mine were focused on his. All I had to do was rise up onto my tip toes and the ache that had formed in my chest could finally stop. But he wasn’t mine to kiss. He was my friend. That’s all he would ever be. I forced my body to stay put.

  As the teacher, I had to put the brakes on. I closed my eyes and took a step back, but I felt his hands wrap around my back, pulling me back to him.

  “You did tell me this sort of thing takes lots of practice,” he said.

  I swallowed. “Tons.”

  “What’s the next lesson, then?”

  That was all the permission I needed to pounce. I came at him hard and fast. It was much too aggressive a move and it ended up throwing us both off our balance, landing perfectly on his bed.

  Normally, I would have apologized for my clutzy nature, but horny me was beyond giddy that I’d landed on top of Liam. I had lost the battle of wills. My libido was in the driver’s seat. All thoughts of putting on the brakes were wiped away.

  I began hiking up my already too-short skirt to straddle his waist. Doing so caused my thong and basically naked ass to be exposed.

  Instead of covering up, however, I took his hands and placed them on the bare flesh. He didn’t move them, but he did look at me, questioning the play.

  “This doesn’t break the rules. I’m technically still fully clothed.”

  I didn’t need to tell his hands what to do. Either he’d been paying attention in the countless sex scenes we’d watched together, or his hands instinctively knew how to latch on to my ass, but latch they did. It actually made me throw my head back in desire. It was all I could do not to start rocking against his erection.

  His hand reached up to my waist and grabbed onto me, hard. The heat in his eyes was undeniable. While I knew he was doing this for Angel’s eventual benefit, I wasn’t the least bit upset with
riding this particular coat tail.

  “Kiss me,” I ordered.

  He pulled at my waist again until I lowered down on top of him, melting quickly into his kiss.

  I had a feeling this was going to be both the best and the worst decision I would ever make.

  Chapter 12

  Making out with Liam was way too easy. Rational thought seemed to float around in my brain but never took root. The way his lips met mine, it was impossible to tell now who was the student and who was the teacher. His kisses had become that good. He definitely wasn’t going to need the full 100 kisses. I’d say he was beyond ready now. So why wasn’t I stopping the lessons?

  His lips pulled off mine then, and I could see his forehead was furrowed.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, wondering if he was thinking the same thing.

  “I want…” He began, though it was clear he couldn’t seem to articulate the rest of that thought.

  I kissed him lightly on the lips.

  “What do you want, Liam? Ask, and it’s yours,” I purred. He had no idea the power he held in this moment, which was very dangerous.

  “I want…to touch you,” he finally said.

  I smiled. “So, touch me.”

  He let out a long breath, but slowly moved his hand from my waist, up the curve of my ribcage, before finally making contact with my breast. I let out a soft moan of appreciation.

  “Are you sure this is okay?” he asked. His eyes were pleading.

  “I want you to.”

  “But...”

  I raised my finger to his lips.

  “It’s okay. You won’t be losing your virginity tonight. Our clothes stay on, remember?”

  He considered that point.

  “Right. We can’t cross a line when the line is literally covered up.

  “Exactly,” I whispered, desperate for his hands to make contact again. “Less talk now, more touching.”

  He wasted no time and began working my breast again, switching between each as though not wanting to leave either alone. My body couldn’t help but respond, and I felt myself rocking against him. Even through his jeans, I could feel him hard under me.

  “Chloe, what are you doing?” he grunted, trying to back away from me.

  I pushed him down and fully straddled him.

  He looked up at me, eyes wide.

  “Watch and learn, Liam. Two people can still find release without actually having penetrative intercourse. Your cock will stay caged and your chastity will still remain intact.”

  I reached down and started to take my shirt off.

  “Chloe…” he warned, reminding me with his eyes of our clothes on rule.

  Instead of taking it off my head, I just pushed my halter top over my head so that my sleeves were still on but my lace and see-through black bra where exposed.

  “There. The shirt is still on my body.”

  The noise that escaped Liam’s lips betrayed how turned on he was by the view, even if I couldn’t feel his reaction underneath me. His was positively bursting out of his jeans.

  “That has to be so uncomfortable,” I said, reaching down and feeling his tented jeans.

  Liam grabbed at either side of the sheets in fistfuls.

  “I’m just going to unzip you, to release the pressure. Don’t worry. I won’t take them off. I promise.”

  I started with his belt, being slow and methodical. The button came next, and I could already feel a difference. He was so ready to come out and play.

  “Chloe…” Liam panted.

  “Shhh, it’s okay. I won’t let him all the way out. But he is so cramped in these jeans,” I said, my voice was husky with need.

  Slowly, I unzipped his jeans. His swollen cock, still hidden in his boxers, found its way out of the jeans. Now all that separated me from him was one thin layer of blue cotton.

  My fingers ran over his length, marveling at its firmness. He was fit to pop. A few more strokes like this and he’d blow his load for sure. He was exactly where I wanted him.

  Removing my hand, I placed myself on top of him. I needed to feel him. My wetness merged against his warmth.

  He audibly gasped as I rocked forward and backwards.

  “Chloe,” he panted.

  “Yes, feel it. Let your body react. Don’t be afraid of it,” I said, reaching down to take his still fisted hands off the sheet.

  “Put that energy on my breasts,” I said.

  He willingly accepted my suggestion and focused his attention there. I arched my back against his touch, desperate to feel all of him, but knowing I couldn’t, all the while never stopping my rhythm against him. He was so hard, and I was so close.

  “Chloe,” his voice was strained. He was trying to hold back.

  “Let it go, Liam. Come for me. I want to feel you explode against me,” I begged.

  His hips started to rock against me, as though he had finally given himself permission to move. Just a few hungry thrusts from him was all my body needed to release. He grabbed my ass and rocked into me hard, and I tipped over the edge, screaming his name in pleasure. My orgasm seemed to set him off, because he rammed against my core once more so hard that he came, too.

  Instantly, I could feel the warmth spreading through his underwear against my thong. He let out a large grunt and then collapsed into the bed. I lay down on his chest, smiling and satisfied. I’d just given Liam his first dry hump, and it had been anything but dry.

  As I lay against Liam, watching his breathing slowly come back to normal, I wondered what it might be like to be with him. Like in every sense of the word. I mean, if I responded this easy to him, there was no telling what actual intercourse could be like. It would be fun showing him new positions, helping him discover his sexuality. He was wrong to think of his lack of experience as a deficit. It was anything but.

  But then reality hit me square in the jaw. He wasn’t interested in that with me. His focus has always been on Angel. I was only a physical release for him. I knew from the first moment Liam mentioned Angel years ago that he was like a swan. And they mate for life. All I was, was an onlooker on the shore looking in.

  Chloe! What are you doing in Liam’s bed? Get out of there. You are such a skank!

  There was my voice of reason.

  I suddenly felt dirty. Tears burned around my eyes, but I didn’t want Liam to see. He could never know that this whole thing had meant more to me than it had to him. I had to escape, so I put on a smiling mask and sat up.

  “Well, I hate to release and run,” I said laughing to hide the emotion, “but we could both use some sleep. I’m beat.”

  “It’s only 7:45,” he said. His eyes were pinched with worry, as though he had been the one to do something wrong. No. All me. I screwed up.

  “I know, but I slept like shit last night,” I lied. I pulled my skirt back down and adjusted my top, all while walking toward the door and not looking back. I couldn’t look him in the eye. He’d see the lie there.

  “Laters,” I forced out and left his apartment, ignoring his calls to come back.

  No. I wouldn’t be going back there tonight. I had to pull the plug on this. It was clear now. Despite my best efforts to stay neutral, I was having feelings for my best friend. That was something I couldn’t allow. Liam was my rock. The one person I told everything to. I couldn’t lose him just because of my stupid libido. I wouldn’t.

  Back in my apartment, I let the tears fall freely. Locking the door, I tried to lock away all thoughts of Liam as well. I had to shut the door on my feelings for him. I had to.

  In the shower, I made a check list.

  Step one, shower his scent off me.

  Step two, don’t answer his texts or knocks on the door tomorrow. I needed some space from him.

  Step three, remind yourself that it’s Angel he wants.

  Step four, repeat the mantra of Step three until it actually sinks in. He wants her, not you.

  Then why did he kiss me like that?

  “Because y
ou trained him to, moron,” I said to the fogged-up mirror.

  My hair dripped down my naked body. The shower had done its job of removing his smell, but there seemed little I could do about the mental replay of the night. My brain couldn’t seem to stop flashing the memories across my mind.

  “Stop,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. “I don’t want to remember this. I want to forget it,” I said, sinking to the floor. “Please. Please let me forget it.”

  I curled up beside my bed. I didn’t want to lay down. I didn’t want to let in the memories of being in his bed… of feeling his hands on me... So, I sat against the side of the bed, leaning against the warmth of my covers, willing the cold hardwood floors to strip away the pain.

  I’d made a terrible mistake. An irrevocable one. I’d let myself crush on someone who didn’t feel the same about me and never, ever would.

  Chapter 13

  The smell of coffee woke me from my slumber.

  Two things registered at the same time. One: I didn’t set a timer for coffee, and two: I was in my bed. Not the floor, where I distinctly remembered falling asleep.

  Liam. It had to be. He must have come over to check on me, saw me on the floor…naked from my shower…shit…then put me into bed. Now he was making be breakfast. Like a goddamn gentleman. He must have used the emergency ‘in case I am dead and causing a stink in the apartment complex’ key I gave him.

  Throwing the covers off, I grabbed my pink silk robe and stormed out to the kitchen to tell him to go home. The whole reason I left him last night was because I needed space. From him, from the lessons, and definitely from his lips.

  Ripping the door open of my bedroom I was about to yell, except it wasn’t Liam standing with a naked backside in my kitchen. A distinct eagle wing tattoo was spread across his back. My insides shriveled.

  “Damon?”

  He turned around. Mercifully wearing my work apron which covered just his front and nothing else. He held a pan in one hand.

  “Morning, sexy. I got your text,” he winked, looking down at his crotch. Through the apron I could see he was happy to see me.

  “My text?” I asked, but then remembered the booty calls I’d sent out last night.