by Levine, Nina
* * *
Lorelei: Let me tell you something else. I know I can be Little Miss Independent, and that you probably aren’t used to dealing with women like me. Women who don’t bend to your every freaking demand. But I was willing to put in the work on our relationship and be the one who did more of the bending because I realised you aren’t the kind of man who has ever had to bend before. I’ve never been with a man who takes over like you do, who always tries to fix things for me. And I may not be good at allowing a man to do that, but for you I was going to try! I was going to fight for you. All I can say now is thank God I found out what kind of man you are before I did all that fighting.
* * *
Lorelei: I am so freaking mad at you right now! And I know I’m going to regret telling you all this in the morning, but I need to get it off my chest. I knew right from the first day I met you that I should stay away. You were so bloody arrogant that day, but I thought I saw something more when you took me out to lunch. And every step of the way, you’ve shown me a man so unlike the one I’m seeing now. That was the man I love. That was the man I saw myself spending the rest of my life with, compromising, bending, and fighting for. And the worst part isn’t that I was ready to do all that for you. No, the worst part in all of this is that I now have to figure out how to stop loving you. And that yet again, I’ve lost someone I love. I hope Cassia can give you whatever it is you want since I sure as hell couldn’t.
* * *
Jesus Christ, what the hell happened during my flight?
My immediate instinct is to call Lorelei. However, I want to go into this conversation prepared for it. I need to know what caused her, and my parents, to assume Cassia and I are back together. So instead of calling her, I call Jessica.
She picks up straight away. “How’s Jack?” Her worry is clear in her voice. And the fact she’s still awake way past midnight tells me how concerned she is.
“I haven’t seen him yet. I’m on my way to the hospital now. Have you heard anything more?”
“No, but I went to see his mum and ended up spending the day and most of tonight with her. She’s more worried about him than she ever has been. Apparently, he was saying some out-there stuff to her while he was here.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“That he’s tired of his life and of being alone, and that he would do anything to switch his mind off. She mentioned they’re things he’s said before, but that this time he seemed really lonely and desperate for an end to it all.”
“Fucking hell. Why didn’t she call either of us?”
She sighs, and I hear her weariness. This is happening to Jack, but we’re all feeling it. “I don’t know. It felt pointless to ask her now. I’m just glad the worst thing he did in all of this was trash that restaurant. I get the sense things could have been a whole lot worse this time around.” She pauses before softly asking, “Ashton, we’re going to get him better, aren’t we?”
“Yes.” I won’t accept anything less than that.
“I’ll do whatever you need so you can stay over there for however long it takes. Anything. You just have to say the word.”
Her promise puts my mind at ease. Jessica is more than capable of handling things, and that will give me the time and space I’ll need to dedicate to Jack. But first, Lorelei. “Jessica, what the hell has happened since I left? Lorelei thinks I’m back with Cassia, and I have no idea why.”
“Shit, I don’t know. I’ve been offline today while I was with Bronwyn. I’ll look into it now and call you back.”
After we end the call, I think about what it means for Jessica to be in the dark as much as I am with this. She’s never in the dark about anything. It’s one of the reasons why she’s so damn good at her job; she makes it her business to know everyone else’s business. That she doesn’t right now tells me a lot about where her head is at with Jack. Jessica plays it cool and gives the appearance of not caring about too many people or very much in life, but she cares very deeply for Jack. Even after everything that went down between them. And this clearly has her worried.
In the time it takes her to call me back, I check the other messages on my phone. A few problems have cropped up with various developments, but nothing that can’t be fixed. There is one message, though, that I replay. It’s from my father, congratulating me on making the right choice with Cassia and telling me he’s looking forward to buying the Willow Street buildings. I’ve just finished listening to his message when Jessica calls. If I wasn’t intent on calling Lorelei and sorting out this mess, I’d call my father and set him straight. Hell will freeze over before he gets his hands on those buildings. On top of that, I also want to set him straight about Cassia and me. And let him know that if he ever makes Lorelei feel worthless again, he’ll have me to answer to.
“You’re not going to like this,” Jessica says, “And let me just say I told you so.”
Jesus. “About what?”
“About that bitch you were dating for far too long. I told you she’d play dirty to get you back, and she finally has. Unless of course it was you who initiated that kiss on Friday night and then told the papers to print a story that you were back together. But since I know your dick has eyes for only one woman these days, I’m fairly sure it wasn’t you who did all that, which leads me back to I told you so. And by the way, I know you haven’t checked social media because of Jack and flying and all that, but seriously, we need to get you up to speed with Facebook some more. You miss out on so much by not being on there very often.” She pauses briefly before adding, “Also, why did you not think it necessary to let Lorelei know about that kiss? Honestly, you need to take a course in dating. That could have saved a whole heap of drama here.”
Logging into Facebook every damn day is not on my agenda, and Jessica knows that. I’ve made it more than clear I have no interest in any of the gossip or bullshit that goes on there. But every few months she tries to boss me around about it. And just like every other time we have this conversation, I ignore her. Besides, my mind is busy processing what she said about Cassia, and that is a far more important discussion to be having.
“I tried to call her before I flew out, but she didn’t answer any of my calls, and she wasn’t home when I dropped by her apartment on the way to the airport.”
My intention had been to call Jessica and ask her to keep Lorelei in the loop; however, Jack’s mother had phoned me at the last minute, preventing me from doing that. Bronwyn had been distraught with worry over her son, and I’d refused to rush the conversation. She can’t fly due to her health, so I’d stayed on the line attempting to calm her down. In the end, the flight attendant had almost ripped my phone from my ear as the plane prepared to take off.
“Do you want me to do anything for you now? Maybe call upon Cassia and rip shreds from her? I wouldn’t do this for just anyone, not at this time of night, but I would do it for you.”
At any other time, Jessica’s snark would make me smile, but not today. Not when all I can think about is making this right.
“I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
“You’re no fun. I’m going to sleep now, but don’t hesitate to call if you need me to take care of Cassia or if there’s an update on Jack I need to know about.”
“Goodnight, Jessica.”
We end the call and I pull up Lorelei’s number on my phone. I don’t care that she’s probably asleep; we need to talk.
She doesn’t answer my call so I try again. This happens four times. On my fifth attempt, she answers.
“Ashton, it’s late and I’m tired. And I pretty much said everything I needed to say in those voicemails.” Her voice wavers, and my anger with Cassia grows. She will incur my wrath over this once I’ve corrected Lorelei’s assumptions. And I will ensure she never comes between Lorelei and me again.
“And now it’s my turn to speak, because the story you got is wrong.”
Muffled sounds fill my ears, as if she’s shifting positions in bed. When sh
e replies to what I said, she sounds more awake. “That’s the thing, though, I didn’t get any story from you. I didn’t hear from you. And now isn’t the time to call me. Not when I’m trying to sleep. It’s been a long day, and I’m too exhausted to be having this conversation. Goodnight.”
With that, she disconnects the call. I immediately phone her back, but when she doesn’t answer after three attempts, I decide she’s probably switched her phone to silent and has no intention of answering again.
Christ.
I’m already wound tight over this. It’ll be hours till she wakes up and is ready to talk. And in the meantime, I’ll be dealing with Jack.
It’s going to be a long fucking day.
58
Ashton
I pace the hospital corridor and rake my fingers through my hair as I pull out my phone to call Jessica. It’s just after 3:00 p.m. here, which is around 8:00 a.m. for her in Sydney.
“Good morning, sunshine,” she answers, her flat tone not matching her cheery words.
“I take it you didn’t get much sleep.”
“You take it correctly. Now, are you calling with a directive for me to go see your lovely ex? Or are you calling with news on Jack, or is this strictly work? Just an FYI before you answer that, I’m in the exact right mood to take Cassia on this morning. You could rest assured that job would be done to your high standards. And I won’t even complain about doing errands for you on a Sunday.”
I slow my stride and exhale a long, tired breath. The day has been exhausting, and I haven’t had more than a few hours’ sleep in the last twenty-four hours, but Jessica has managed to ease some of my tension with her humour.
“Jack’s exhausted and asleep. I spoke with his doctor earlier, and if everything goes to plan, they’ll discharge him in a day or so. After that, it’ll be back to regular visits to his psychiatrist for a while.” I don’t have to explain it all to her. Jessica has been down this path enough to know how it goes. She knows how intensive and crucial this phase of treatment will be.
“Okay, good. He copes better when he’s at home rather than in the hospital. Don’t let him get away with any of his shit. You know he can be an asshole during this phase.”
She’s not telling me anything I don’t know, but it’s Jessica’s way of feeling like she’s contributing. “He’s too exhausted to be an asshole at the moment, but I give it three days and he’ll be in full-blown bastard mode.”
I can hear her smile when she says, “Sounds about right.”
Changing the subject, I ask, “Did you receive my email?” I’ve emailed through a list of jobs I need her to take care of today.
“Yes. I’m on it. Did you fix everything with Lorelei?”
“No. But I will.”
“Because I know you don’t check the gossip section of the paper, they printed another piece on you and Cassia today. A lovely double-page spread. And she even went to the trouble of sending them a couple of personal photos of the two of you for it, along with answering some questions. Are you quite sure you don’t want me to go see her and set her straight?”
I contain my rising anger. It seems both Jessica and Alessandra were right about my ex. I should have been firmer with Cassia. I won’t make that mistake with her again.
“She’s on my list to deal with today. Let me know when you’ve finished those jobs. I may have more for you. And Jessica, thank you for working today.” We agreed a long time ago that she would never work on a Sunday. I’m pushing boundaries here, and I appreciate the hell out of her doing this for me.
“I see an extended spa weekend ahead of me. Paid for by my boss.”
I smile. “I’ll have my assistant book it.”
“Okay, go. Hang up. I’ve got work to do.”
I call Alessandra after hanging up from Jessica.
“Do you know what time it is, Ashton?” she grumbles when she answers. “It’s Sunday for God’s sake. I know you don’t have kids, so you won’t understand the significance of Sundays, but for us people who birthed little humans, we try to sleep in on Sundays. Please take note of this for future reference. And please tell me you’re ringing for a good reason and not just a casual chat.”
“That was a lot of words, Aly. Impressive on a Sunday for an exhausted birther of little humans.”
“Birther is not a word, FYI.”
“It is now.”
I hear a lot more grumbling and shuffling, along with Malcolm’s voice before she says, “Okay, I’m sitting up. You’ve succeeded in waking both of us, so hit me with whatever this is about, and then I can lie here and try to go back to sleep while complaining about the asshole who ruined my Sunday morning.”
“Have you seen Mum this week?”
“Yes. Why?”
“How was she?”
“How do you think she was after she discovered Dad’s having another affair? And didn’t you go see her on Monday? I could swear she told me you did.”
“I did, but I think she kept her emotions in check while we talked. Cassia told me she’s not doing well.”
“Cassia? When did you see her? And more to the point, why are you anywhere near that woman? I keep telling you she’s bad news.”
“I take it you haven’t read the papers this weekend.”
“No.” She pauses. “Why? What’s in them? And why do I feel like I’m ten steps behind in this conversation?”
“It’s a long story. One I don’t want to get into right now because I’d rather discuss Mum with you. Where’s her head at with this new affair?” I’m also concerned about how it’s affecting her heart. It hasn’t been long since her heart attack.
“From what I can work out, she’s pretending the affair isn’t happening. And I’m pretty sure Dad’s still seeing that other woman. Mum’s still really tired from the heart attack, but she’s thrown herself back into the social circuit as if there are no issues with her health. I’m worried about her, and I think you should go see her and try to talk some sense into her. She listens to you far more than she listens to me.”
Dad is still seeing the other woman. I had James confirm it. And knowing my father’s history of cheating, my mother’s anguish over it won’t cause him to end the affair. As much as Mum likes to think it does, her pain means little to him. He can’t keep his dick in his pants.
“I’m in LA, Aly. I can’t go see her.”
There’s silence for a beat, and then her shriek fills my ears. “Oh my fucking God! That bitch! Wait, why did you kiss her?”
“I presume you just saw the news.”
“Yes, but don’t even bother answering that last question. I know she must have manipulated this somehow. Oh God, how’s Lorelei? Is she ready to wring Cassia’s neck? I bloody well would be.”
I fill her in on everything that’s happened. While it’s the last thing I want to talk about, it’s a good distraction from my worry over Jack, and besides, there’s no way Alessandra is letting me off the hook with this conversation.
“I bloody told you so,” she says after I finish giving her all the information.
“Yes, you and Jessica both,” I say dryly.
“So you’re coming home to fix things with Lorelei, right? I mean, you could always go straight back to be with Jack.”
I grimace. I’m conflicted over this, because I want to be here for Jack, but I also want to do exactly what Aly has said. Deep in my gut, I know which choice I’ll make, and it’ll be Jack. It has to be Jack at the moment. All I can hope is that Lorelei and I are strong enough to survive Cassia’s dirty tricks.
Before I can answer her, she mutters, “Shit, I have to go. The kids are up and running through the house, and I don’t think Malcolm is in the house at the moment.”
“I thought he was right beside you?”
She sighs. “You have a lot to learn about marriage and parenthood, little brother. I’ll call you later.”
The phone goes silent at the same time as two nurses rush past me down the corridor, reminding me
of where I am. Bringing it all back to me that my best friend is in this hospital fighting for his life. Because from what his mother told Jessica, that’s exactly what he’s doing.
I put aside all my current problems and walk back to Jack’s room. Whatever I’m dealing with pales in comparison to what he’s going through. My phone call to Lorelei can wait.
He’s still asleep when I enter the room, so I take a seat next to his bed and stare out the window while I think about everything he’s going through. Jack’s exhausted like he always is after a manic high, and I know it will take him a few days to be ready to do anything more than eat and sleep, but we did manage a brief conversation before I slipped out of his room earlier. And while he didn’t give much acknowledgement that he knew I was there, I told him I’d be with him every step of the way.
“What’s on your mind?”
I blink at the sound of Jack’s voice and turn to face him. He’s barely awake, but clearly enough to know I’m thinking about something.
“You.”
His eyes open fully and I suck in a breath at the vacant expression I see there. He’s got so far to go to get better. “What’s on your mind besides me? I can tell there’s something else.”
“This isn’t stuff you need to worry about, Jack. You’ve got enough to deal with at the moment.”
He rolls onto his back and scrubs his hand over his face. “I’ve got a head full of shit I don’t need to be thinking about, Ashton. Give me something to take my mind off it for a minute.”
Resting my elbows on my knees, I lean forward and push out a long breath. I’m running on fumes, and my thinking is beginning to suffer from lack of sleep. I’m not sure whether sharing my problems with Jack will be good for him or not, but I know him well enough to know he won’t let this go. And that he really does need a break from his thoughts.
