A Gathering of Memories

by Lori Wick

  21

  “Leave me alone!” Rebecca screamed the words at Amy. Amy watched in confusion as Becca tried to push the sofa with her small body and hide behind it.

  “Becca, honey, what is it?” Amy implored the child from a nonthreatening distance, but Becca continued to sob and tried to make herself as small as possible against the living room wall.

  “What happened?” The question came from Mandy, who had heard the noise from upstairs.

  “I honestly don’t know. Becca fell asleep on the sofa during the story I was telling her and when I tried to put a blanket over her, she woke up and began to scream. All I can think of is that I must have startled her.” Amy described the scene to the accompaniment of Becca’s cries.

  Mandy pulled her youngest sister away from the wall and into her arms. Becca struggled, kicking and screaming, but Mandy held fast. And after what seemed an eternity, the little girl collapsed in her arms. In a pitiful and nearly indistinguishable voice, Becca said, “I want Mama.”

  Amy sank into a nearby chair and did nothing to hide her tears. The grief had to come, she knew that. These children had adjusted so quickly to the move, but their mother still lived in their hearts, just as she should, and their pain was still very real. Amy, however, hadn’t been prepared for such a violent reaction. She didn’t take it personally. Becca had probably been dreaming and hadn’t recognized where she was when Amy woke her.

  The cries were quieting now, with only an occasional call for her mother. Mandy continued to hold her and scrutinize Amy.

  “Are you alright?”

  “I think so,” Amy answered quietly.

  “Carrie told me that Becca cried in the night for Mama. Did she tell you?”

  Amy shook her head no.

  “I know that Becca likes you. Silas too. But I think coming here so soon after Mama’s death sort of crowded out some of the grief in our minds. Now the newness is wearing off. It’s becoming routine to have enough to eat and a soft bed to sleep in. But with the wonder of it wearing off, we have more time to think. And naturally our thoughts turn to Mama and Pa.”

  Amy was struck momentarily dumb by Mandy’s speech and then, “Mandy,” she said softly, “I think you’re wonderful.”

  “You do?” She was genuinely surprised.

  “Yes, I do! I knew you would all begin to miss your mother, but I never thought of it in regard to your moving here and well, you just explained it all so logically, I just—”

  Amy seemed to run out of words and Mandy smiled at her. “I think you’re pretty nice, too.”

  Amy joined her on the sofa then and held her hands out for Rebecca. The little girl did not hesitate to crawl into Amy’s lap, and she held her close. Mandy watched them, thinking that Amy was the most giving and forgiving person she’d ever met.

  “Amy, will you promise me something?” Mandy spoke in a whisper and marveled that she was actually going to ask this.

  “If I can, Mandy.”

  “Will you please promise to be my friend, even when Pa comes back and takes us away?”

  “Oh, Mandy, you can’t believe what an easy promise that is to make.” Emotion choked Amy and she barely forced the words out.

  Mandy shifted until her head was near Amy’s shoulder, and Amy moved around until all three of them were touching and resting close together on the sofa.

  Becca squirmed some and Mandy said, “Amy, why did you and Silas take us in?” Mandy heard Amy sigh, and it was a few moments before she spoke.

  “I sometimes have a hard time accepting God’s will that Silas and I have not had children of our own. The Sunday morning you came to live with us I knew another month had come and I was not pregnant. And I wanted to be pregnant so badly—I can’t tell you how badly.”

  Mandy heard the rough sincerity in her voice and shifted so she could watch her face. Becca became restless at that moment and with the resilience of a child, hopped to the floor and moved to the corner of the living room where Amy kept her old doll and cradle.

  “Silas and I had words that morning because I was so upset and we were very late for church. But at the end of the service, which was about all we’d made it for, Uncle Chad asked for prayer for the Jackson family and shared that your mother had died. I can’t explain it, Mandy. It was as if God’s hand reached down and touched me, and I knew that I wanted you all to come here to our home and live for as long as you needed.

  “We had lunch with Uncle Chad and Aunt April that afternoon, and we discussed it with them. I think you know the rest.” Mandy was looking so surprised that Amy questioned her.

  “Mandy, what is it?”

  “What you said about God reaching down and touching you. I think the same thing happened to me when Pastor Chad and Silas came to the house. I just knew we had to go with them.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me, Mandy. I feel God has had His hand in all of our lives from the first day.”

  “I didn’t agree with what Pastor Chad said on Sunday,” Mandy said suddenly, and almost fiercely.

  “About what exactly?” Amy hadn’t heard a word of the sermon.

  “About everyone sinning and needing a Savior. I believe in God, Amy, but I don’t think people sin. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but that’s not sin. We’re here to work hard with the bodies He gives us and at the end of our years we die, but it’s not hopeless. If you were a good person and did your best, then life goes on for those after us.”

  “Mandy, I respect your belief, but I want you to know that I disagree. The Bible says “all sin,” and I can tell you in my own life that it’s very true.”

  “I don’t believe that, Amy. You never sin.”

  “Yes, Mandy, I do. I was born a sinner. And that causes me to have a need for a Savior. I believe that Savior to be Jesus Christ.”

  “Jesus, of the Bible?”

  “Yes. God’s Son. Sent to earth for that very purpose—to die on the cross for sins.” Amy had said all of this with gentle surety and Mandy was all ears.

  “So you believe in hell?”

  “The Bible says it’s there.”

  “You believe everything the Bible says?”

  “Mandy, please don’t think it’s easy or that I always live as I should, but yes, I believe the Bible to be the Word of God. And the most wonderful thing in the Word of God is that Christ died for us. But that’s not all. The Bible says that when we trust in Him, He lives within us and helps us to trust and obey Him.” Amy watched her face to see how she was taking in the words, but Mandy gave nothing away.

  Just then the wagon and horses sounded in the yard with Silas, Carrie, and the boys. “I think everyone is back so we’re about to be interrupted. Mandy, will you think on all I’ve said?”

  “Sure.” Mandy’s reply was quiet, her face thoughtful. “Can we talk more later?”

  “We most certainly can,” Amy replied as her heart took wing.

  22

  “Hello, Mr. Marks. What can I do for you?”

  “I want to know what you found out with the maps in town.” The voice was gruff, with no hint of a question or request, a voice used to issuing commands, not asking questions.

  Ross had been sure this was the reason he’d been summoned to Aaron Marks’ office, but he wanted to be certain.

  “Well, I think it’s pretty much what you expected it to be. Why did you want to know?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “I think it is. For instance, if you were interested in farming, I could recommend the best acres to buy. Are you interested in farming?”

  “No!”

  “Well, that’s good because it’s very rocky out there and I would say not very fertile. Of course I’m no expert—”

  “Just tell me what you found out! Whose name is on the plat map and what’s it worth!”

  Ross eyed the man for a long moment. He’d deliberately baited him, and though he was growing agitated Aaron Marks showed no signs of giving anything away.

  “Exce
pt for the few acres owned by Ward Jackson, the land is owned by a man named Brooks. His address is Reedsburg.”

  “And the cost of everything?”

  “Beyond finding out that none of the land is for sale, I did no inquiring. The value being in that case, irrelevant.”

  He saw the older man’s face suffuse with color and knew he had overstepped his bounds. Ross could see that Aaron Marks was barely holding his temper. A boy came in just then and laid some mail on the desk. Drawing his glance down, Ross saw a familiar name on a piece of stationery.

  L.C. Brooks

  Reedsburg, Wisconsin

  “Did you think you were the only shark I had working for me?” Marks had followed the line of Ross’ gaze. “I’m a businessman, Beckett, and a businessman always covers his tracks.” He obviously took great relish in telling Ross this, assuming it would crush the spirit of this impertinent young lawyer. He’d let him dangle for a while and then when the kid begged a little, he’d find some petty job for him. He might prove to be useful for some future projects.

  But Aaron Marks didn’t know there were people in the world like Ross Beckett—people who did not have a price.

  “Well, Mr. Marks, I’ll assume then that you’ll no longer be needing my services. I’ll drop my bill in the mail.”

  Aaron Marks’ jaw nearly swung on its hinges as Ross’ broad-shouldered frame swung out the door and onto the street. Ross, on the other hand, moved toward his own office with a light step.

  “What a relief,” he thought. “Everything that man does makes me uneasy.” They wouldn’t be working together again, Ross was certain, and even as it gave him a keen feeling of respite, he knew he would be keeping a subtle eye on the future dealings of Aaron Marks.

  23

  “I think they’re finally settled. I sure hope the girls don’t catch this.”

  “Or you,” Silas said as he lovingly brushed the hair off Amy’s forehead. Amy was just coming to bed at 4:30 A.M. Both Clovis and Levi had had the stomach flu through the evening and on into the night. Silas and Amy had gone to bed around midnight. Amy, as usual, did not fall right to sleep, so she was the one to hear Clovis up again. She went to him without waking Silas.

  The action had been pretty nonstop after that. Amy had moved Levi to the living room because he needed to make continual trips to the privy; Amy was glad it was a warm night.

  The flu affected Clovis in the opposite way, and Amy kept a pail near his bed. She explained all of this to Silas as she fell into bed. He had not even realized she’d been up after midnight.

  “You’ve been up all night?” Silas asked, wondering how he’d slept through the noise.

  “I think so.”

  “Amy,” he chided her. “You should have called me. What time is it?”

  “I don’t know,” she answered on a yawn.

  Silas told her he’d make sure the boys were better before he left in the morning and then he would take the girls to church and let her and the boys sleep. Amy answered him, but she was so tired he only hoped she’d understood.

  “I feel bad about Amy being up with the boys.” Mandy spoke from her seat in the wagon as she, Carrie, Becca, and Silas headed toward town. They’d left the house early, before breakfast. Silas said he wanted the house to be quiet for Amy and the boys, so they were headed to Grandma Em’s to eat.

  “She and the boys are sleeping now. We’re going home right after church, so they won’t be alone for too long.”

  “Are you sure we should drop in on your grandma, Silas? Maybe she doesn’t have enough breakfast for all of us.”

  “Believe me, Mandy, she’ll love it.”

  And she did, even though she was concerned about the boys and Amy. There was already plenty of coffee on the stove, and Grandma Em made up a big pot of cereal. Eggs, fresh apple muffins, and juice were added and by the time everyone pushed their plates away they were more than satisfied.

  As was her morning routine, Grandma Em reached for her Bible, and turned the pages for a few moments. She passed her Bible to Silas when she was satisfied with the passage she had found.

  “Will you please read, Si—the ones I have underlined.”

  “It would be my pleasure. Philippians 4:1-3, ‘Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, dearly beloved. I beseech Euodia, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. And I entreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life.’ ”

  “What is the book of life?” Carrie asked, as soon as Silas was done speaking.

  “The book of life is where your name is written when you believe that you’ve sinned and that Jesus Christ died for your sins,” Silas answered her.

  “Amy and I talked about Jesus Christ a few days ago, but I still can’t believe that God thinks we sin.” Silas was not surprised by Mandy’s words because Amy had told him of their conversation. Silas knew exactly what he would say to her if he had the chance, but his grandmother spoke first.

  “I used to feel that way, Mandy, that there must be something I could do that was good enough to get me to heaven. I obeyed my parents and usually did the things I knew to be right, honestly believing I didn’t sin. But then one day my mother read to me from the chapter before the one Silas read. Silas, read in chapter 3, verse 4.”

  “ ‘Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath reasons for which he might trust in the flesh, I more.’ ”

  “Now, Mandy,” Grandma Em went on. “The apostle Paul wrote this and he had done many things on his own, ‘in the flesh’ is how he put it, trying to win God’s approval. The next verses in chapter three tell some of the things he did. In fact, he did so many good things that he was willing to challenge anyone who thought they’d done more. But he goes on to say in verse 9, that it all means nothing, that without Jesus Christ, the things Paul did count for nothing in eternity. Silas, please read that verse.”

  “ ‘And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the Law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.’ ”

  “We don’t have to be a murderer to be called a sinner. Next to God’s holiness we are so imperfect. We can’t possibly do anything good enough to be called a Christian and go to heaven some day. But the wonderful part of it is that we don’t have to do anything. Jesus Christ did it all, and we just need to admit our sin and believe in Him. He does the rest.”

  Carrie and Mandy exchanged a look. “Mama believed that. Her pa was a preacher. She tried to explain it to us one time but Levi got mad and said if God was so good why did we go hungry and cold? Mama didn’t say too much after that, but I know she prayed for us.”

  Silas and Grandma Em were both surprised at this new insight into the children. Grandma Em asked, “Did you children ever know your grandfather, the one who was a preacher?”

  “No,” Mandy answered. “Mama never talked much about her parents or where she grew up. I can’t think why she never showed us that photograph of her; it’s so pretty.”

  Grandma Em looked to Silas in question. “When Mandy went back to her house to get some papers, she found an old daguerreotype of her mother and brought it back to the house.”

  “It’s in my room and I look at it every night before I go to bed.”

  “Has it been a comfort to have her picture and papers, Mandy?” Grandma Em asked gently.

  “The picture, yes, but the papers, well, I haven’t looked at them yet. Somehow reading them seems like the most final act. I mean, no matter what I read, no matter what the papers say, I can’t ask her any questions. I have no way of finding out what anything may have meant. And I’m also realizing what a private person Mama was. Looking at the papers somehow feels like I’m intruding into a part of her she wanted left private.”

  The adults at the table n
odded with understanding. They could see it was time to close the conversation. The dishes had to be left or they would be late to church.

  24

  Silas walked into church with his three girls and Grandma Em and immediately noticed Aunt April sitting alone in a front pew. He directed the girls her way.

  The first one in the pew was Carrie, so she ended up next to the pastor’s wife. Silas sat next to Carrie with Becca in his lap and Grandma Em and Mandy on his other side.

  Silas had to speak to Becca only twice about squirming. Other than his mind taking occasional trips home to Amy and the boys, he was able to concentrate on the sermon.

  Pastor Nolan was working his way through the book of Matthew and the sermon for that morning was out of chapter 27, where Christ was mocked and crucified. The message was sobering as verses were read describing the way Christ suffered for the sins of man. But as always Pastor Nolan ended his sermon with a word of encouragement. Everyone rose at the end and sang out on the final hymn before being dismissed.

  It took Silas a few seconds to see that Carrie had not risen to follow him out of the pew but was in close conversation with Aunt April. He was standing in indecision when April looked up and caught his eye.

  “Silas, would it be alright if Carrie comes to lunch today?”

  “Sure.”

  “We’ll bring her home later.”

  “That’s fine. Maybe you could stay to supper.”

  “We’ll plan on it unless Amy and the boys are worse.”

  Silas gave her a wave, smiled at a very sober Carrie, and headed to the wagon.

  Later Carrie sat at the small kitchen table in the parsonage suffering from a headache brought on by holding back her tears. She had barely touched her chicken and potato, partly because she’d asked so many questions but also because she was upset over what she’d heard that morning.