Guardian? Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, not following in the slightest. “You said I’m your mate.”
“Yes. You are. But I didn’t tell her that. She still thinks I’ll be marrying Ziritha in a few weeks.”
A frustrated sob built in her throat, and she wanted to stamp her foot in irritation. “Have you changed your mind about me being your mate?”
“No! Never. I just… If my mother learned the truth, she’d force us to be together.” Verakko pressed a hand to the small of her back, urging her forward.
“What?” Lily halted in her tracks and stared at him in horror. “And what if I say no?”
“Then,” he said slowly, the corners of his eyes crinkled as if he were stifling a wince, “I’ll have to marry Ziritha, and you’ll be forced to marry someone else.”
Lily scanned the room around her, unseeing. “What?” she yelled.
“I’d better start at the beginning. There is a law on this planet,” Verakko began.
She tried to listen past the ringing in her ears.
“I didn’t mention the law when we met because I didn’t want to alarm you,” he added quickly, leading her through the gently curving room to a lone door identical to the one they’d emerged from. “The city that comes across a Class 4 being is the one obligated to take care of them and integrate them into society as they see fit. Many cities have decided they’ll force their new human citizens to marry, the same way they do with their Clecanian citizens.”
Lily tried and failed to form words until she finally latched on to something he’d said in the desert. “You told me Tremanta was giving more rights to humans than other cities. Is this what you meant?”
He nodded.
“But you were leading me here long before that. You knew this would happen? That I’d be forced to get married?”
Verakko urged her forward again, darting nervous glances over his shoulder. “I didn’t know for sure that that would be my mother’s decision, but I suspected.”
Lily shrugged off his hand. “So you decided that instead of explaining things to me, you’d take the chance of me possibly being forced into a marriage by your people?”
“Well…” The guilty look on Verakko’s face told her everything she needed to know.
“This is my life. How dare you decide something like that for me!”
Verakko’s hand shot out to grip her wrist. “But it doesn’t matter anymore because you’re my mate.”
“Let me go,” Lily grated.
When he only stared at her, she lifted her palm to her face, twisting his wrist, then snatched his wrist with her free hand and wrenched it away. Verakko stepped back and circled his wrist, breathing deeply. Lily stomped toward the closed door and waited with crossed arms.
Verakko followed, removing the small square from his pocket again and planting it on the metal doors.
“You only just learned I’m your mate! You were leading me to this city before your eyes changed. You were going to bring me here, knowing I’d likely be forced into marriage. Even after I told you specifically that I didn’t want to get married on this planet.” Her nostrils flared at the heady scent of cedar wafting from him. “And on top of all that, you were engaged! So you brought me here, thinking I’d be forced into marriage and knowing it would be to some other man! How could you keep that from me?”
“If I had told you, you would’ve never come with me. I tried to get you to go back to Tremanta that first day, and you refused.”
“You tried,” she scoffed. “Did you try by telling me that if I went to any other city but Tremanta, my freedom would be taken away and I’d be forced to marry some stranger? Or did you try by simply demanding we go to Tremanta? A city that was an unknown distance away in the opposite direction from Alex?” She placed her hands on her hips and studied his bunched shoulders.
“Would you have gone the other way and abandoned Alex if I had explained it all to you?” he shot back.
Lily ground her jaw, knowing he was right. She would’ve continued down that river either way.
Verakko leaned down until they were at eye level. “Exactly my point.” He returned to his screen and started typing into it again. “What was I supposed to do? Allow you to live in the forest until you eventually died? How much longer do you think you could’ve survived out there?”
Lily reared back. “That’s not the point. You took away my choices. If you had explained this right from the beginning, I might’ve decided to return to Tremanta with you. Or maybe I would’ve stayed in the forest. It doesn’t matter. Even if every option presented to me was shitty, I had the right to make my own shitty decisions!”
The door whizzed open, and another platform stood waiting. Lily stepped onto it, too focused on Verakko’s tight expression to worry about the sudden jolt of upward motion.
“You’re right. I should’ve told you about everything. At the time, my reasoning all made sense. I was just trying to keep you safe.”
Lily’s argument died in her throat as emotion swelled. She’d trusted Verakko more than she’d ever trusted anyone. She understood why he’d lied about the laws of his city. Even if she didn’t agree, she understood that he’d been attempting to keep her safe. Frustrated tears blurred her vision, but she continued to blink them away. She didn’t feel safe. She felt exposed and vulnerable and powerless. And the person she thought she could count on to navigate this terrifying new world had kept so much from her. Was her life even her own anymore? Or would these aliens decide everything for her?
The platform stopped again, but the doors didn’t immediately open like before. Verakko peered down at his screen, which was displaying an opulently decorated hallway occupied by a thin, bright-blue man and child. They walked slowly, chatting about something she couldn’t hear.
When they’d disappeared from view, Verakko covered his lips, miming for her to remain silent. He opened the doors and guided her out. The hallway, like the odd warehouse level, was curved, and circled an incredible sight. A tower of water pouring through the center of the building, just as Verakko had described, visible through a wall of glass.
They reached one of the few doors on their left, and Verakko released her, planting his hand on the surface. Whirring and buzzing sounded, and the door swung open.
As they entered the dark space, small floating balls of light began illuminating near the ceiling, like silver bubbles. The room was large and dominated by a collection of cream-colored pillows and cushioned couches as wide and deep as king-sized beds. Clacking from her right suddenly sounded, making her jump, and she watched in awe as a stairway comprised of glass and glimmering metal dropped from the ceiling. Her eyes followed the stairs to a second story high above.
The home was beautiful and well appointed. The furnishings immaculate. Silver finishes glinted everywhere, and odd pieces of sculpted art were scattered about.
Lily frowned; this house was beautiful, but it didn’t feel like Verakko. It was too…perfect. Staged, like a gallery display of the ideal futuristic living room. “I thought you lived in Tremanta. You have a house here too?”
Verakko stared at the floor for a moment, licking a fang, and then leveled a miserable look on her.
“Oh,” she choked out as realization hit. “This is for her, isn’t it?”
He shrugged. “I purchased the home weeks ago after signing the contract. I had to make sure it was ready in time for…”
“Your wedding,” she finished numbly as his voice trailed off. She shook her head. “I really don’t think I should stay here. I want to go to the other housing.”
He released a deep breath through his nose and stared at her. “I understand you’re angry with me, but you aren’t ready to be on your own yet, I need to help acclimate you to our city.”
“Oh, you mean acclimate me by picking and choosing the information you deem is important and lying about the rest?” Lily reproached with her hands on her hips and her brows raised.
“The city doesn’
t know about humans yet. You wouldn’t even be able to converse with anyone if you needed help because no one has your language uploaded on their translators.” He pulled her down the hall and into what she could only assume was a kitchen of some sort, then strode around the room, pulling various odd foods and tools from different compartments.
“And what about your fiancée?” she shot at him. “How do you think she’ll feel when she finds another woman in her house? I know you may not be connected romantically, but she’s obviously put a lot of work into decorating this place, only to have me come and use it all first.”
Gripping a deep purple bottle, he paused and said, “I told you. In my mind, she’s no longer my betrothed.” He took a long swig of the beverage, then pushed it into her hands.
Lily tilted her head at him, indignation at his matter-of-fact tone scratching against her nerves. “Your contract is still intact, yes? That means you’re still engaged. It doesn’t matter what’s in your mind. It matters what’s in everyone’s minds.”
Verakko plucked the bottle from her hands and took another swig before replacing it; his hard stare bore into her. “Whether or not I marry her is entirely up to you.”
“Up to me?” she repeated, confusion setting in again. She laughed, raising her bottle in the air sarcastically. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”
“I’m set to be married in a couple weeks. There are only one of two ways to break my contract.” Unlatching a large pocket on his thigh, Verakko produced two bottles, both visibly old and dusty. “One, I announce that my eyes have changed, meaning I’ve recognized someone who could potentially be my mate.” He poured liquid from the smaller of the two bottles onto his hands, uncaring of the drips that fell to the floor, and wrung his hands together. “Two, I announce that my mating marks have appeared, proving you’re my mate beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
Verakko lifted his hands. She stared at the bright-blue designs curling across his wrists and hands that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Her breath caught in her throat. How could marks like that have appeared out of nowhere? Was there some kind of magic on this planet? When he said mate, was he being serious? Not just a fancy phrase for a wife, but a real-life honest-to-goodness soulmate. And she was his?
“I signed a contract before I ever met you,” he spoke quietly, the melodic tone of his voice gone. “There are consequences to breaking it. If I did, I’d never be able to marry anyone else in any city, and I’d be sent away. Recognizing a mate hasn’t happened in centuries. Not until Jade showed up earlier this year. You don’t understand how special it is. How rare these are,” he said, lifting his hands again.
Lily swallowed and tried to ignore the pangs of longing shooting through her.
“I felt that you could be mine when I first laid eyes on you. But I didn’t recognize you right away. I kept putting off telling you about Ziritha because I wanted to recognize you so badly, and I worried you’d treat me differently if you knew. It was selfish, but…I didn’t know what else to do. I thought maybe if I explained my situation, that perhaps we could be together after our marriages were through. But now that I’ve recognized you, you won’t be forced to be with anyone else.”
“I’ll only be forced to be with you.” Lily recalled what he’d said about mates and how it was for life. Cold fear made her stomach flip. She began pacing, a weak attempt to control her chaotic emotions. “You’re telling me this is my choice, but what kind of choice is it? Be with a stranger and watch you get married to someone else, or be with you forever? How am I supposed to make that kind of decision in two weeks?” She froze and faced him, fury and longing and fear all clamoring for acknowledgment. “You want me to make a lifelong commitment after you’ve done nothing but lie to me? How do you expect me to do that, Verakko? How do I know there isn’t more you’ve been holding back?”
Verakko lifted his hands and opened his mouth, but all that came out was a frustrated breath.
“You know how I feel about marriage. I told you I want to know my partner inside and out before committing my whole life to them. And you knew how I felt about Clecanian marriages, yet you led me here. You might’ve changed your mind at the last minute, but you were planning on bringing me here before that. Was this all some kind of game to you?” Tears burned at her eyes and blurred her vision. She tensed her muscles to keep a sob from escaping. “Humans have become a valuable commodity on your planet, so you make me depend on you. Care about you. Open up to you. So that if you recognized me, I’d be forced to agree or else watch you marry someone else? It’s only been a few days!” Lily shouted and lifted her hands protectively in front of her. “I won’t be trapped.”
“I never wanted to make you feel trapped, Lily.” His gaze darted around, and he clutched at his hair with both hands. “I’m not explaining this right.”
“You’ve explained it fine. I’m angry, but I understand why you did what you did. If you’d told me about your fiancée, I would have treated you differently. If you’d told me about what might happen to me here, I would’ve never agreed to come. And now, I can see you want me, want us to be together, but…” She took a deep breath, then continued. “I understand, but it doesn’t change how I feel. I feel hurt and betrayed and stupid. And I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” Lily swiped a tear off her cheek. “And that makes me feel even more stupid, because I only met you a week ago. I don’t know you.” Verakko’s chest shakily rose and fell, and the look of misery and pain in his eyes cut through her like glass. “If you’re asking me to make a lifelong commitment to you right now…I can’t.” Lily recalled Verakko saying the exact same thing to her, and a sob tore from her throat.
Verakko crossed to her before she had a chance to blink. She tripped back a step, and a blast of smoky cedar hit her nostrils, but instead of the calming effect it normally had, she only felt angrier.
“Do you care about me?” He cupped her cheek, and she wanted to melt. “Be honest,” he added. His voice rang through her mind, and fire seemed to shoot through her veins.
“Don’t you dare try to sway me!” Lily shoved at him with all her strength.
Verakko gazed into her eyes, the intensity of his bright-green stare sending chills down her spine. “If I show anyone these marks, it’ll get back to my mother, and she’ll force you to be with me. If I don’t make that announcement, I’ll have to marry Ziritha to avoid punishment, and you’ll have to negotiate a contract with some other male. If it were up to me, I’d have claimed you as my mate already. But I acknowledge I’ve already kept too many things from you, and I also realize you don’t feel the mating pull the way I do. So, I lied—to my mother, the Queen—in order to give you time to decide what you want to do. It’s up to you.”
“I need a minute alone. Where can I go?” Lily asked quietly, biting the inside of her cheek to keep the tears threatening to fall at bay.
Verakko pointed to the stairs, and she silently followed him up. She barely took in the second seating area overlooking an expansive view or the framed screens playing a short movie on the walls, what she assumed was their version of art. Lily didn’t want to acknowledge the mystery woman’s impeccable tastes. She just wanted to be alone.
Verakko led her into a large, bright bedroom dominated by a tall bed, and her eyes locked onto the soft mountain of blankets and pillows. She felt Verakko lingering behind her and inhaled deeply.
She didn’t want to look at him or his handsome, grief-stricken expression anymore. It wasn’t fair. He’d been lying to her from the start, yet every time she looked at him, she wanted to forget she’d ever learned about his betrayal. She wanted to run into his arms and pretend everything would be okay.
The pull to forgive and forget angered and terrified her. Would she always forgive him this quickly? Always brush any indiscretion under the rug because she couldn’t bear the thought of life without him?
She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced toward the ceiling covered in silver glowing orbs before turning to fac
e him. His dark brows lifted in the center with worry and pain. He ran his gaze over her body not with lust but with barely contained longing. He stared at her like she was on the other side of thick glass. As if he wanted to touch her with every fiber of his being but could only look.
“I’m going to make us some food. Come down when you’re ready.”
Lily swallowed and nodded, not trusting her own shaky voice. When he silently left, she sank to the ground, pulling her knees into her chest. She didn’t know what to do. A part of her wanted to drag him back in the room and agree to be with him, but the other part was scared. How could she promise to be with a man who’d already betrayed her trust so thoroughly?
How could she be with someone who made her feel so dependent and helpless? She never wanted to need anybody, yet here she was, sleeping in his house, wearing the clothes he’d bought for her, and relying on him for almost every aspect of her future. She’d put all her eggs in Verakko’s basket and now remembered why she’d never done it before. Trusting someone wholly and completely was terrifying.
She allowed a few quiet sobs to escape her, then attempted to focus her mind. In. Out. In. Out.
Chapter 20
After Verakko had left, Lily had crawled into bed and replayed everything she’d learned. Verakko had lied, but a reasonable part of her understood why he’d done it. If he thought she was really his mate and he had no emotional attachment to his future wife yet couldn’t break off his engagement, she could see the difficult spot he must’ve been in. Had it been right for him to lie and keep so much from her? No. Did she understand why he’d done it? Unfortunately, yes.
More than anything, Lily was upset with herself. She hadn’t listened when he’d pushed her away; instead, she’d initiated most of their romantic encounters. She’d been the one to brush off his objections with false optimism, believing she understood the culture well enough. You will never understand a culture you haven’t been fully immersed in.
Saving Verakko: The Clecanian Series Book 3 Page 22
