However, there was something she didn’t know if she could look past. He’d made decisions for her. Taken her choices away from her. Important choices that would affect her life in immeasurable ways. Could she forgive that?
She flipped onto her stomach and tried to clear her mind. The bed was the softest she’d ever laid in, and the room smelled more fragrant than seemed normal. It was almost like someone was burning a lilac candle that never dissipated.
It wasn’t unpleasant, but floral aromas weren’t her favorite, and all she could think about was how much better Verakko smelled. After staring unblinkingly at the inside of the blanket she’d cocooned around herself, she finally rose.
Quietly, she padded around the beautiful bedroom, feeling like an intruder. A small bathroom connected to her room presented a host of new questions. What should she use to brush her teeth? Where was the faucet for running water? And what the hell kind of mirror made her look so good, and where could she get one for herself?
As Lily examined herself, she realized something had happened to her body. Something not entirely unwelcome but felt like a violation nonetheless.
Desy had explained to her the elixir would rejuvenate her down to the cellular level and repair any damage present, but she’d just assumed it was the alien equivalent to a B12 shot. That it’d make her feel great but would ultimately not work any miracles.
As she looked in the mirror at her perfectly unblemished skin, strong, shiny nails, and thick lashes, she realized it hadn’t been an exaggeration. If they could do all that at a doctor’s office, then what the hell did they need a spa for?
She tugged at her shiny, dark hair in the mirror and tsked angrily. “I’ve spent years perfecting my highlights, and now they’re just gone!” She muttered a curse, swinging her locks behind her back.
While her appearance was radiant, her insides were a dark, jumbled mess. As soon as Verakko had left, she’d yearned for him to come back. It was so odd, this feeling that she wanted him to be in her eyeline, but also to not say a single goddamn word to him. How could such conflicting emotions all be directed toward one person?
She sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. “What are we gonna do?” Could she even stomach the idea of marrying someone else?
Just say it out loud and see how it feels.
Lily nibbled on her lip, afraid to listen to even herself. Finally, she leaned in closer to the mirror and said, “He’s my soulmate.” She frowned at the thrill that shot through her. “If that’s true, you ridiculous universe you, send me a sign.”
“Lily!”
She jumped as Verakko’s voice rang out from the first floor. She straightened and shot a sidelong glare at the mirror. “That wasn’t a sign; he probably heard me,” she hissed before leaving the bathroom.
When she reached the first floor, she didn’t immediately see him, then the familiar scent of cedar hit her nose. She fought to remain rigid as he stepped in front of her.
His eyes scanned her face as though he hadn’t seen her in weeks. Skin prickling with heat, she internally shook herself. He handed her another dark purple bottle—the first bottle lay untouched in her room. She stared at it but didn’t really see it, still too wrapped up in her own thoughts.
“Mott,” he said, drawing her attention. He aimed a pointed glance at the bottle she held loosely in her hand. “It’s alcohol. It isn’t a favorite among most females, but I didn’t have time to stock the kitchen while you were being healed. Dinner’s ready, I just have to bring it out.”
She tried to focus on what she needed to say. “Verakko, I appreciate the effort, but I need some time away from you to process how I’m feeling.”
Verakko rocked back on his heels, studying her. “I disagree.”
She blinked at him, making sure she’d heard the tone of finality in his voice correctly. “Excuse me?”
“I think that if you go off by yourself while still angry, you’ll start to second guess what we have and you’ll convince yourself everything must’ve been a lie, even though we both know that isn’t true.” The words were uttered calmly, but Lily saw the determination in his eyes. “You don’t have to decide anything this minute. You’ll need to learn from someone in the meantime anyway. You don’t know how to use any of our technology. You don’t even know how to stay away from Ripsli products, which I know you’re allergic to. And I can help you figure out what you need to do to pursue the career you want.” He stepped toward her and gripped her shoulders. “You helped me survive out in the forest when I knew so little. Let me help you survive here.”
Lily blinked, furious that he was right. He briefly squeezed her shoulders, then dropped his hands. Unsure what else to say, she looked down at her bottle and took a sip. The liquid stung as it slid down her throat.
“Just a few days,” she confirmed, weakly clutching the bottle against her chest.
“Yes, miv—Lily,” he amended and disappeared through the door to the odd kitchen.
Sparks of static electricity crackled over her scalp at the almost-uttered pet name. Scowling, she wondered if she should question him about the name again. Taking another long pull from the bottle, she retreated into the living room, deciding against it. She was far too susceptible to Verakko’s particular brand of sweet talk as it was. She settled herself on the odd half bed, half couch.
How did I get here? Lily shook her head in exasperation and watched the silver glowing orbs bob around the ceiling. It wasn’t as if she’d had much say in the matter; this was an alien planet, after all. Verakko was right, she didn’t know how to do anything for herself, but with a flare of irritation, she realized she was allowing that to be true.
Lily stood again, intent to ask the right questions this time. Questions about each and every device in the house and what it did. Questions about the food being prepared. How it was being prepared. Where she could buy it. How it needed to be stored. But she only made it a few determined steps before bumping into Verakko exiting the kitchen. “Can you show me how the appliances in the kitchen work?”
He smiled and moved past her to a small shining panel on the wall. “Yes, but not right now. The food is ready.” Skating his fingers across the screen without looking at her, he programmed something.
Lily took an instinctive step back as the large couches began to move, sinking into the floor. A small table and chairs, made completely of a clear material that looked like glass, rose to the center of the room.
“Tomorrow, then,” Lily said, her attention divided as the dark tint on the enormous windows faded and a gorgeous view of the glittering black desert came into view.
Verakko stopped fiddling with the control and faced her.
Lily forced her focus back to him. “Then tonight, I want you to answer all of my questions, and I mean all of them. Truthfully. No more leaving upsetting information out. I have the right to know what I’m in for.”
He stepped toward her. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, and from this close, she could also see that beneath his calm, strong demeanor was a hint of anguish. “I’ll tell you everything.” He turned and walked back toward the kitchen. “Over dinner. You need to eat.”
Lily rolled her eyes and stomped toward the windows, mott in hand. “Impossible man,” she muttered under her breath. Only one crescent moon was visible at the moment, but the sky was clear and sparkling—the portion of sky she could see anyway. The large flat roofs of the other buildings crowded nearby blocked the full view overhead. She looked down and guessed the house was at least fifty stories up. She pressed her hand to the glass, angling her head to squint toward the ground.
“Do you need another drink?” Verakko intoned from behind her, making her jump.
She spun and found him standing near the table, now set with food and cutlery. She glanced down to her mostly untouched bottle and shook her head. Lily studied him and noticed his body language was off. His shoulders were tensed, fists clenched, and he forced his eyes to remain on hers, not as tho
ugh he wanted to look at her, but as if he were trying to not look anywhere else.
He cleared his throat, and for the briefest moment his eyes slid to her palm, still flattened against the window, then back to her. As realization hit, a sudden impulse to run over and soothe him forced her feet to take an involuntary step in his direction.
“It’s the windows, isn’t it? Why in the world would you buy a house this high up if you’re afraid of heights?”
“It isn’t normally a problem, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t stand so close to them.” He puffed out his chest and sat down, avoiding eye contact. “It was the floor Ziritha suggested.”
Lily came to join him at the table, brows drawn. “She made you buy this place even after you told her how uncomfortable heights make you?”
“Why would I have told her?” He scowled, reclining in his chair.
“Seems like something important to talk about before buying a house in a skyscraper.” Lily shrugged. “You told me.”
His gaze turned serious. “You’re different.” Verakko looked at his food and added in a mumble, “You’re the only one I’ve told the story of my fall to.”
Lily’s heart squeezed in her chest. The only one?
She gave herself a mental shake and studied her food. Odd gray cubes were covered in a charcoal-colored sauce that smelled savory and a little familiar.
“I kept it simple. I didn’t know how much you’d want to eat, and I didn’t know if you’d prefer to remain a vegetarian now that you have the choice once again.”
Of course he’d been thoughtful enough to think about that. He couldn’t have made this easy, could he? Been a lying ass through and through? No, he had to have just enough reasonable explanations and sweet gestures to make her question everything.
Lily scooped up a small amount of food with the odd flat spoon he’d provided. She wasn’t particularly hungry, though she couldn’t recall the last time she’d eaten, but she was curious to try the unappealing gray slop that smelled so much better than it looked.
The sauce was bright and citrusy while the gray cubes underneath were savory with a slight crunch. She chewed thoughtfully and decided she liked it. The motionless alien across from her drew her eyes. He hadn’t touched his food but was watching her intensely, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
Lily sighed and set down her odd utensil, then took a long pull from the bottle, wincing as it burned a path down her throat.
Time to get some clarity.
***
Verakko flexed his hands, now free of the paint. It had felt beyond wrong to have them hidden, but Lily’s continuous nervous glances toward them made him wonder if he should paint them again to make her more comfortable.
He took a swig from his own bottle, having already downed an entire one in preparation, but every bit of him, from his toes to the tips of his ears, felt shaky and nervous. How did one convince the other half of their soul to accept them?
“Alright, first,” she said, peering at his hands again, “when did those appear?”
“After you were stung,” he answered, shifting in his seat.
Lily’s jaw clenched, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why didn’t I see them before, when I woke up?”
“Because I made Desy cover them.”
She lifted a brow. “Were you planning on hiding them from me?
“No. I didn’t want anyone else to see them and report them to my mother.”
“And she would force us to be together because…?”
“We’re mates,” he said shortly.
She bobbed her head with wide eyes and studied the marks again. Wordlessly she rose and began pacing back and forth in front of the windows. He had to quell the instinct to pull her away to a less anxiety-spiking area.
What are you feeling? His throat worked, and he clamped his mouth shut to prevent the sway building in his throat.
She pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut. “You’re telling me that marks you’ve never had before magically appeared on your wrists because we have some kind of connection you can’t have with anyone else?” She leveled her disbelieving gaze at him.
A corner of his mouth turned down at the simplicity of her explanation. Was it even possible to describe the magnitude of what marks meant to someone who came from a world without them? “Yes, I suppose.”
“Well, why don’t I have any then? I’m your mate, but you’re not mine?”
Verakko shot to his feet, unable to contain a growl. Lily leveled a furious glare on him that, without words, settled him.
He took a deep, calming breath before answering. “No. I am your mate and you’re mine, but humans apparently don’t get them. Maybe you’ve evolved past them, or maybe it’s a malfunction unique to humans. I don’t have that answer, but what I do know from the other mated humans I’ve met is that there is some sense of recognition lingering inside.”
“Because I’m half Clecanian, or descended from Clecanians or…” She threw her arms in the air, a wild look lighting her eyes. “Or whatever the hell humans are.” Her gaze turned desperate. “I don’t understand. How could those just appear out of nowhere? Why didn’t they appear sooner?”
“Something happened to me when I saw you collapse. I don’t know how else to explain it, but every obstacle that’d been weighing on me since I met you just went away. All I could think about was that I might lose you.” He ached to reach out and grab her but forced himself not to. “It was the most afraid I’ve ever been in my life. I never doubted I could protect you. I knew I could fight a Strigi or a sefa to keep you safe, but…” He swallowed, ice sliding down his spine at the mere memory, “I can’t fight poison.”
Lily shifted her shoulders and nibbled her lip but remained silent.
He crossed to her, ignoring the spike of fear at the view through the windows. “I won’t force you, though. If you tell me you don’t want to be with me, I’ll do my best to stay away.”
“Can’t you convince your mom to—”
“I can convince my mother of very little. She already granted me the favor of allowing me to reside with you for three days before she announces your existence to the city. She won’t do more.”
“What will happen then? After her announcement?”
Verakko stifled another growl rising in his throat. He knew what would happen, and he wondered if he had the strength to weather it. “Males and their family matriarchs will visit. See if they recognize you or see if you’ll open negotiations with them.”
“What if I say no?”
“If you don’t choose, I’m afraid whoever is assigned as your guardian at that time will choose for you.” At Lily’s look of disgust, Verakko explained, “The only thing required from you during a marriage is cohabitation. You won’t even have to speak to the male if you don’t want to, as long as it’s part of your contract.”
Lily stared out the window silently for a moment, then her gaze shot back to Verakko’s. “Wait…what’s in your contract? What will you have to do?”
His stomach roiled. “I had to buy this house and stock it according to her preferences. I need to prepare her dinner unless asked not to, and I’m required to dine with her once per week.” He balled his fists. “And the contract states that we’ll attempt a pregnancy.”
Lily’s hand covered her mouth, and she stepped back.
“I won’t, though! I can’t.” When she remained unconvinced, he added, “You are my mate. I won’t be able to be with anyone else.”
“As in physically?” She took a few steps toward him. “Are there physical side effects?”
“Yes. I’m faster, stronger, and my sway should be more powerful as well.”
Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask.
“What about if I say no? Would anything happen to you, physically?”
She asked. Verakko inwardly groaned. Lily was strong and wouldn’t be pushed into anything easily, but one of her weaknesses was her compassion. If he told her about wh
at would happen to him if she chose to deny their bond, she’d feel pressure to remain with him whether she wanted him or not. But he’d agreed to tell her everything. The good and the bad. “I’d rather not say.”
She titled her head at him and crossed her arms, waiting.
“I don’t know how severe the effects would be, but all accounts of Clecanians being separated from their mates seem to indicate varying levels of illness over time.”
Lily’s shoulders fell, and her brows drew together. She stared up at him, worry clear in her eyes. If the situation was different, that look would’ve melted every bone in his body. Concern for her mate shining in her eyes. He never would’ve dreamed he’d see it.
“You’d get sick?” she whispered, searching his gaze. “How long would it take? Are you feeling sick now?” Her gaze roamed over his body again, more slowly this time.
“No, I’m fine. I’m with you now. Separation for extended periods of time is what would affect me. It isn’t the same for all Clecanians, but I’d grow incrementally weaker. Be more prone to illness. From the accounts I’ve heard, my mental state would suffer more than anything else. Depression. Fits of rage. But, again, this has never happened before. The mating bond has always been reciprocated equally. There was never a question of whether two people would be together. I do know that the longer we remain together, the worse it’d be if we were separated. It could be that if you decided you didn’t want to be with me, I wouldn’t feel as many effects. We haven’t been together long. I’ve only had my marks for a day, after all.” Verakko shushed the voice in his head screaming that what he said was a lie. It wasn’t. He didn’t know what would happen if she left him. He only knew that every fiber of him revolted against the notion, but he couldn’t say one way or the other what being away from her would do.
Lily’s eyes watered, and she hid her face from him. All he wanted to do was touch her, but he didn’t know whether it would do more harm than good, so he stood there with muscles clenched, waiting for her to say something, anything.
When she finally faced him, he saw the evidence of wetness around her eyes. “What if in a year I choose to leave this planet? What if the laws change and I can go back to Earth? You want to be with me, forever? Monogamously?”
Saving Verakko: The Clecanian Series Book 3 Page 23
