Return by Land (Glacier Adventure Series Book 2)

by Tracey Jerald

  “Tomorrow. Meadow’s giving me a ride back to Portland before she flies to Juneau. Why?” Suddenly Greta’s way too awake and suspicious.

  But my mind’s whirling. If I call Jennings…yes. I’ll have hours on the plane to explain. And if it doesn’t work out, if she ends up walking away, I can go to Jed’s grave and lie down next to him to die. “Because I’ll be getting on that plane.”

  “Are you kidding, Kody?” Greta screeches. “You can’t just charm your way back after the things you said to her.”

  “Well, it’s nice to know you’re taking sides with the woman I love. That will make her getting to know the family easier,” I drawl sarcastically.

  “You haven’t seen her. I have. Besides, you’re a man.” As if it explains everything.

  Catching sight of Jed’s letter out of the corner of my eye, I realize there were so many things I missed. Meadow’s feared our love now twice. No more. “Maybe you’re right,” I admit.

  I roll my eyes as Greta begins applauding on the phone. “Now, can I ask for your help?” And before I call Jennings, I tell my sister my plans.

  Meadow

  My stomach lurches from the moment we take off in Kalispell. Jasper greets me like we’re old friends, asking me to sit on the right side of the plane. I frown because this will mean my back is to the door, but then with Jasper’s explanation of “With Ms. Laurence on board, I need to shift the weight, Meadow.” I shrug and merely do as asked.

  Greta flutters her lashes flirtatiously. “Call me Greta. I’ve known Jennings for years.”

  His low laugh in the gorgeous redhead’s direction makes me reevaluate my musings a few months ago. Maybe Jasper’s closer in age than I originally thought. “Well, that will give me something to think about.” For all of five minutes of the hour or so we’d be in the air.

  “What will?” Greta drops into the seat facing mine across the aisle.

  God, even after all this time, looking at Kody’s sister still causes my heart to ache. As much as I’ve appreciated her assistance, I need to be alone—even if it’s only for a few hours—to lick my wounds before I pick up Elise and MJ. “Nothing. Just a wandering thought.”

  “Are you excited to see your children?”

  “Anxious,” I admit.

  “Why?”

  I spend the rest of the flight explaining to Greta about what happened with Mitch, with the kids, how I had to move to Montana, and what’s still occurring with my ex. By the time I’m finished, we’ve just landed, and as we taxi to the hangar, I’m back to the part of the story she knows about—my saying no to her brother’s proposal of marriage. “I love Kody, Greta. I’ll always love him.”

  We’re so involved in our conversation, both of our heads jerk as we hear footsteps on the stairs. Presuming it’s Jasper, I know it’s almost time to say goodbye to Greta. I don’t want to lose this last connection to Kody, but I know I have to. The door to the plane opens. Instead of getting off the plane as we hear Jasper unloading her bags, Greta sits there and frowns. “I understand so much more now. Hearing all of that, I can see why you said no. Marriage is a huge leap. You weren’t saying no to him, but to the institution itself.”

  “Exactly. Never in a million years did I have any idea that’s where his thoughts were headed. He lived all of this with me.”

  “Your children would be set back so far.”

  “In the end, I’ve made some hard choices for the people I love,” I say wearily. “And years from now, I guess I’ll look back on the health of my children and be proud. And I’ll always be devastated because of Kody.”

  “You sacrificed it all for your children, didn’t you? Including him?”

  “What is love but a sacrifice? Then again, years ago, I didn’t think I was good enough for your brother.”

  “Why not? He’s a royal pain in the ass.” Her chin is in her hands.

  My eyes widen before I bellow out a laugh. “God, that felt so good. Take away the fact he’s your brother for a moment.”

  “If I must.”

  “Even when we were in our twenties, he was the nicest guy I’d ever met. He was so damn smart, he made my head spin, and he wasn’t a hardship on the eyes. Quite simply, he was so much more than me.”

  Greta nods before undoing her seat belt. “I have to say, I’m so glad you see the man before the looks.”

  “To be honest, I had to. I never would have spoken with him.”

  Greta laughs and then stands. She holds out her arms.

  I do the same. “Would it be too much to ask you to pass along a message to your brother?”

  She opens her mouth and then closes it. “Before I answer that, why don’t you turn around? Then you can decide.”

  Prickles raise the hair on the back of my neck. I shake my head.

  Greta’s eyes are sympathetic. “It’s okay, Meadow. I promise.”

  “What are you afraid of, Flower?” Kody’s dark voice washes over me. I hear a thud before Jasper’s voice confirms, “Welcome aboard, Kody. Let me finish loading your bags, and then we can be on our way.” Jasper’s footsteps make a thumping sound down the stairs.

  My body begins to shake with tremors so hard, I’m about to topple over. Somehow, I manage to turn around and there he is. He’s beautiful.

  He’s perfect.

  “You’re an asshole,” Greta declares, as she shoves past me. Standing next to her brother, she tilts her face up for his kiss. “Make this right. Meadow’s one of us.”

  “I will. Now, get the hell off the plane. Meadow and I are on a schedule.”

  “You’ve always been ungrateful,” she grumbles.

  “No, that’s Sandra.” They share identical smiles. “Call Mom? Tell her I’ll get in touch in a few days?”

  “Will do. I suppose you want me to keep the office going?”

  “That is what I pay you for.” He runs a finger down her nose before bopping the end.

  Her lip curls before she throws herself into his arms. I turn my head away. I wish I had the right to do that, but I lost my chance when I said no.

  Before I can sink back in my seat, Greta’s rushing back at me for a quick hug, but before I can ask her if she knows why Kody is here, she’s off the plane. And now Kody’s making his way toward me.

  “Hi.”

  Such a simple word from his beautiful lips. He’s said it a thousand times. So, I don’t know why this time I turn away to hide my face when I respond, “Hello.”

  “I hope you don’t mind sharing your ride to Juneau.” His voice holds nothing but polite inquiry.

  With a quick shake of my head, I sit back down and redo my seat belt. Remember, he’s not here for you, I chastise myself.

  Quickly enough, Jasper’s announcing to prepare ourselves for takeoff. I debate, for a second, announcing I can’t do this. I can’t be confined to this space with this man for hours. I feel the wheels move and realize it’s too late.

  We’re alone—well, as alone as we can be with Jasper flying the plane. I want to scream Why? Why does he have to be on the plane with me? but since Jennings is his best friend, I can’t. All I can do is try to ignore his presence as we go back to where we started. Risking being caught, I hazard a glance to find Kody staring out the window. His fingers are tapping against his lips in contemplation. I study every inch of his face. It may be my only chance before we land.

  I need to memorize what he looks like right now so I never forget when he’s back home with my heart.

  Jasper announces we’ve hit our cruising altitude. Kody shifts in his seat, still not saying a word. And sadly, I realize it’s over. He won’t even speak to me. Shivering, I reach down in my bag for my sweatshirt and shrug it on. As I’m zipping it up, I think I must be hearing something. Just to make certain, I ask politely, “I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

  Kody’s jaw works for a moment before his head turns. “I asked you the wrong question all those years ago.”

  I’m jolted. “What do you mean?” I remember ev
ery word of our last confrontation clearly.

  And based on his words, it appears Kody does as well. “I asked you if this was what you wanted. What I should have asked you was if you felt the same way about me that I felt about you.”

  “And that was how?” I ask cautiously.

  He settles back. “I’m not sure that it matters. What matters is how we feel about each other right now.” His words are deep slashes to my already wounded heart.

  “Of course.”

  “After it’s all said and done, we each had to live to get right here.”

  To a place where we can say goodbye. I feel my soul breaking over and over at his words, but I merely nod. One day I’ll look back and know I’ll be grateful for loving Kody Laurence, but it’s taking everything inside me not to shatter in front of him—to not beg him to listen to me. But I won’t. I clench my fists tightly beneath the sleeves of my sweatshirt. I’ll stand back and open my arms to let him go. After all, the only gift of value I’ve ever been able to give him has been a life without regrets which is what he would have had if he’d taken the terrified girl out of Juneau as he left to build an empire.

  And even though I love him—God, I’ve always loved him—I won’t hold him with pain and brokenness.

  “Yes, we did,” I push out. “You know I want nothing but the best for you, Kody.”

  “Good. Then you won’t be difficult about this.”

  “Difficult about what—” But before the question is fully out of my mouth, Kody’s unhooking my seat belt and hauling me to my feet. His arms are wrapped around me so tightly, I can barely breathe. Then again, I don’t care if I never breathe again as I drown in the scent of his cologne.

  Tears I’ve managed to hold back leak from my eyes against his dress shirt. “Let it out, sweetheart,” his voice croons in my ear. “I was a damn bastard. You have to know I’m sorry.”

  “There’s no need. You were right. I can’t expect to rely—Kody!” I exclaim as he swoops me up and sits down with me on his lap. “Jasper’s going to complain about too much weight on one side of the plane or something.”

  “I. Was. Wrong. I didn’t listen, and I took my hurt out on the person I claimed to love. Sometimes, emotions surge inside me so much I can’t get the words out, or if I do, the wrong ones come out. Like those summers I wanted to ask you out. The last night when you told me you were married. When…” He swallows hard. “You said no.”

  “Will you let me explain?” I ask quietly. When he shakes his head firmly, my heart withers inside my chest. “Why not?”

  “Because I know you love me. You tried to explain to me that day, and I wouldn’t listen—or more appropriately, I listened to what I wanted to hear. I overheard what you said to Greta, sweetheart. Right now, between that and a letter I received from Jed, I’m feeling pretty fucking ashamed of what I said and did to you.” Kody’s jaw clenches. “I was an adolescent instead of a man. Your man.”

  “Kody, you were hurting; I understood.”

  “I promised myself I’d never leave you. And the first time things got hard, I did just what he did, didn’t I?” His voice is tortured.

  Now it’s my turn to struggle with words. “Kody, I get it. Love by itself isn’t enough. I was just trying to explain—” I pause and find his encouraging eyes on me. “All I wanted to do that day was to tell you I need time. I have so much to explain to Elise and MJ. Trust me, I never wanted to let you go.”

  I can feel the sigh he lets out ruffle my hair. “If I go to my grave knowing that, it’s enough.”

  Tears start to build, but the practical side of my nature kicks in. We’re not over all our hurdles. “It’s going to be difficult with you in Portland. And well, you’re you and I’m just me. I don’t have a great track record; I don’t know how this ends.”

  “I could give you a hundred reasons why this will work, but the easiest explanation is you complete me. This past week, I felt like the other half of myself was gone.” He pulls my hand to his chest where his heart is beating so fast, I can feel the pounding. “Do you think my heart could shut off so easily? I lost you once; I refuse to lose you a second time. If it takes a month, a year, ten years, I’m not giving up on us again. We’ll figure out what this family needs and make it happen.”

  “This family?” I echo.

  “Yes.” His voice is resolute. “Whether or not we’re ever married, Meadow, we’re going to be a family. In fact, I have the ring to prove it.” Kody reaches into his shirt pocket.

  I begin to protest, and then the words die in my throat because I want the ring in his hand more than I want any other piece of jewelry in my life.

  It’s a perfect circle of woven grass.

  “I know who and what you are, Meadow Borneman. You’re a strong woman who is fighting her way back to knowing who she is. You’re an exceptional mother who will do anything for her children. And you’re the woman I’ll never be able to let go. Do you know me? Do you love me?”

  And without hesitation, I answer, “With my whole heart. Forever.”

  After sliding the ring on my finger, Kody kisses me. His kisses start out as soft touches mingled with words of apology, but after weeks apart, the passion flares between us. Long minutes later, Kody curses. “Damn, I forgot about Jasper,” he grumbles before sliding his hand out from under my shirt. Lifting me off his lap, he places me in the seat next to him. Taking my hand, he brushes my mussed hair off my face before asking, “How did everything go at Nature’s Song?”

  And for the first time since he left, I smile when I think about the house we rebuilt together. After all, it’s not many couples who can say they got down and dirty at both home and at work and survived.

  Meadow

  Despite the perfect landing, my nerves jump into my throat the moment we’re wheels down in Juneau. I’m uncertain how the kids are going to react to seeing me despite the improvement to our recent calls. Reaching over, I grab Kody’s hand and squeeze it hard. “I’m terrified.”

  He threads his fingers through mine before raising them to his lips. “Why?”

  “They’re not perfect, but they’re mine. This emotional separation between us has been worse than anything I endured from Mitch.”

  Brushing my knuckles back and forth across his lips, Kody doesn’t immediately say anything. When he does, the words both settle me and churn me in a completely different way. “I know you’re scared, but it will be all right. It might take time, but love is always worth waiting for. Aren’t we proof of that?”

  I suck in a breath. Five minutes after seeing him again, eleven weeks in each other’s pockets, seventeen years too late, love is a damn miracle.

  Just as I open my mouth to tell him for the millionth time since we reconciled, Jasper announces, “Meadow, Kody, welcome back to Juneau. Local time is 12:42 p.m. The tower just let me know local temperature is a balmy fifty-nine degrees, so I hope you brought coats. We’ll be pulling up to the hangar shortly.”

  And just like that, the moment is lost. But as I bring Kody’s hand up to brush against the side of my face, I know deep in my soul it won’t be the last one. After all, I have a ring on my finger and a promise in my heart to prove otherwise.

  After renting a vehicle, we make it to Brad and Rainey’s an hour later. I make no move to jump out when Kody shoves the vehicle into park. “What are you thinking?” he asks.

  “That a few months ago, I never could have imagined leaving.”

  “And now?”

  “Now it’s complicated. It will always be home, but I love where I am now, who I am now,” I correct myself.

  “Speaking of where you are now, what would you think about…”

  But Kody doesn’t get to finish the question. The front door bangs open and Rainey comes flying out. I laugh, even as I unbuckle myself. “Brace. She’s going to come for you next.”

  He brushes a finger down my nose. “Go. You know you need this as much as she does.”

  Truer words were never spoken. I scramble fr
om the seat and fall into my sister’s waiting arms. For long moments, I absorb one of the most treasured feelings in the world—the imperfect yet constant love of family.

  Pulling back, I grin before saying absurdly, “Hi. Miss me?”

  “Not at all. I just greet everyone…”

  But before she can continue with our banter, the front door slams open a second time. I face it, expecting to see Brad’s blond handsomeness. Instead, there are two faces I’ve missed long before I left Juneau the first time. Even coming back that one day didn’t give me enough time to study them since I had to put on an act to break through the defenses they were holding so close. “Is it my imagination, or has Elise grown too?” is all I can choke out as I fall back against the truck for support.

  “In so many ways,” I think I hear Rainey say cryptically, but I’m too focused on my children’s quiet descent down the same steps my sister flew down like her life depended on it.

  Thirty feet. That’s how far apart we are. It’s no more than the distance of a few cars, but it might as well be the thousands of miles I just flew from Montana. I catch Kody rounding the back of the truck out of the corner of my eye, ready as always to be there for me.

  I look forward to the day when I can return the favor.

  Tentatively, I raise my hand not squeezing the life out of Rainey’s shoulder and call out, “Hi, kids. You both look…”

  I don’t get a chance to finish my sentence before Elise takes off at a dead run. My heart stops. When it starts beating again, it’s such a magnificent pain, but it feels so good because I’m too busy catching my daughter’s lanky frame as it crashes against me. “Mom,” she sobs against my shoulder. “Mommy, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

  “Shh.” I stop her before she goes too much further. “There’s nothing to forgive, baby. You were scared and hurting.”

  Within seconds, we’re almost taken to the ground by MJ as he collides into us both. His arms stretch as far as they can to wrap around us both. “Mom, are you here to take us home?” His voice cracks on the last word.