by Desirée
“You are too much, Porscha.” I laughed softly, careful not to wake anyone up. After all, I was on their house phone, running my mouth.
“Shit, he act like he can’t hear me, but that’s okay, because I’m gonna catch that nigga in the club, and watch me accidentally spill my drink on his face.”
“You are crazy!” I laughed.
“You would do it for me, and you have. Remember that time you saw Derek in the club? What did you do when I wasn’t there?”
“Slapped the shit out of him.” I sighed, knowing my ass loved to fight some-damn-body.
“Uh, he gon’ call me later on that night, crying, talking about he sorry. Nigga, boy bye!”
“Walked right up to him, didn’t even give him a chance to speak, just slapped him in the face and dared his bitch to try it,” I said with ease, looking at my nails before proceeding to rub the cocoa butter in once more.
“Mm-hmm. Bitch, if I’m crazy, I get it from you. We ride or die, shawty. Till the end.”
“Till the end.”
“Jahiem!” she called out as I laughed at her ghetto ass. “Shit! He’s coming over here, too.”
“You should have took yo’ ratchet ass inside the damn club al—”
“What the fuck is yo’ problem?” I heard him ask. I sat up in the bed, ready to defend her before realizing I was too many cities away from Atlanta right now.
“Nigga, you know my problem with you and how you did my friend!”
“Who the fuck is yo’ friend?”
“Oh, nah-uh! Girl, he wanna play dumb like he don’t know!” Porscha said to me as I sighed. “You ain’t shit, nigga! She is lying in the bed pregnant with yo’ babies, and you acting like—”
“Where she at?” he asked suddenly. I could hear the rumbling of the phone before hearing Porscha voice far off in the distance.
“Hello?”
I froze, feeling stuck. “Who is this?” I said.
“Tiana, where are you?” Jahiem asked, and I heard a car door open. “Aye! Aye, chill out. Let me talk to her for a minute, shawty. You’ll get yo’ phone back, I promise. Go inside and tell ’em DC put you on, shawty. I’ll come find you.”
“You better, or we gon’ have a problem, nigga,” Porscha threatened.
I heard a car door close shut, followed by a sigh.
“Tiana, where you at? I know you been laying low, so just let me know where, and we can fix this shit,” he said.
I cocked my head back. “Fix what?” I asked in a dull voice. If he thought I was going to even . . . ha! I was not one of those little pathetic, looking-for-love bitches in the books y’all reading about. Once a nigga is done with me? After I chased behind his sorry ass? Best believe I was done with him. I don’t walk backwards, I don’t eat backwards, and damn sho’ don’t date backwards. Always moving forward.
“Fix whatever we got going on. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out, and I think we should get back together and figure out what the fuck is the next step,” he said easily. “I still want a DNA test, but I’m not going to leave you hanging while you pregnant, shawty. I was fucked up for putting you out like that, but understand I was mad and hurt.”
“I understand,” I said softly, nodding my head as I closed the lid of the cocoa butter jar.
Did I mention I had a job now? I worked at the local daycare, answering phones and shit. Yeah, got the job as a favor of Noelle’s dad, who treated me like his own daughter. The whole family was steady buying little-girl outfits and things I would need.
“You hear me?” Jahiem asked as I tuned back in.
“I hear you.”
“So, just stop playing around and come on. You know I love you. You still love me, so let’s just work this shit out,” he said with a smile in his voice.
“Jahiem? You know I met this girl at a train station who didn’t know me from nowhere? She took me to the doctor’s office on her appointment time, and I found out I was having three girls,” I said, hearing him almost choke up in a cough.
“Three!” he shrieked.
“Mm-hmm. She ended up feeling sorry for me because I told her I had no place to go, so her family took me in,” I continued.
“A’ight, so tell them thank you, but you need to come on. You out there with three kids that are mine, and—”
“Nigga, don’t be rude,” I cut in. “I was still talking,” I said, smacking my teeth. “So anyway, I’ve been with her family for almost a week now, and they got me a job, and they buy things for the babies, and I’m fed on a regular. Learning how to cook real country-ass meals, too, because her grandma don’t play.” I laughed.
“Why you telling me all of this, Tiana?”
“I’m telling you this because I don’t need you. I don’t need your help. I am going to do this myself.”
“What? You can’t—”
“I can, and I will, nigga. Don’t test or try me. You had me sitting outside that fucking apartment all night, while these complete strangers took me in their home without even a second thought! I slept with you, I fell in love with you, but you so easily just—”
“You hurt me, Tia! Do you not understand hearing that you slept with my younger brother was some shit I wasn’t prepared to hear?”
“I said I was sorry. I should have told—”
“Nah, nah! Don’t be fucking rude. I’m talking now. It’s my turn to talk, shawty. Shut the fuck up!”
I grew silent, biting my tongue, and all kinds of bullets at this point.
“I never fell for nobody as hard as I fell for yo’ ass! Even when you didn’t want my dog ass, I had my eyes on you ever since I saw you at that party. I gave it a chance, Tia. I got used to the idea of having to come home to a girl with a baby. I liked having my own family to take care of, and you about to take that away from me because of something you did—not me! I don’t care how hard any nigga tries to act, nothing is worse than hearing the woman he fell in love with slept with someone else. Especially my younger brother! I hurt too, Tia. You know that?”
I felt the tears about to come down.
“You not the only one, shawty. Yeah, yo’ ass sat outside that concrete floor because I was mad as fuck that you lied to me, to my face, that entire time. All I was thinking about was you pushing my brother’s kid on me.”
“Jahiem, I—”
“Shut the fuck up!” he snapped, and I dropped my head, feeling the tears come down. “I may be a fucking fool for this, but I still want to be with you. Bruh, I swear I might be going crazy, because I shouldn’t want shit to do with yo’ trifling, two-faced ass, but here I am about ready to beg. Bring yo’ ass back the fuck home so we can talk and work this out like adults, Tiana.”
“No, Jahiem,” I cried softly, hearing him sigh.
“So, you just gonna let it end like this? Not let me see my own seed? When you were the one that fucked up? Not me! How did you expect me to react, Tia?”
I remained quiet as he grew silent on the phone. We just sat there listening to each other’s breathing for a few seconds.
“I tried talking to you, Jahiem. I tried to—”
“I wasn’t ready to fucking talk then!” he let out as I wiped my eyes. “Where are you? What the fuck area code is this?”
“I’m in Albany, and I plan on staying the remainder of my pregnancy,” I stated softly. “I am going to finish up my degree down here and hopefully find a place of my own to stay. I’m not going back to Atlanta. Yeah, nigga, I fucked up by not telling you about Trent and me. Yet, you putting me out your apartment the way you did, threatening to call the cops on me, threatening to beat my child out of me? Nigga, whet?” I snapped sarcastically, voice full of attitude. “Where they do that at? Love don’t make niggas do shit like that.”
“Nah! You right! A broken fucking heart makes niggas do shit like that, Tia. Stay the fuck down there then with yo’ dumb ass. I don’t want shit to do with you.”
“That’s fi—”
He hung up. Staring at the phone, I let out a
deep sigh, trying to fight back more tears. Nigga was not about to have me shed anymore tears over him.
Taylor
“Look at this nigga,” I mumbled to myself as I stood a few feet to the side, watching Trent enjoy a lap dance from some random ho. I had just arrived at this party at the Spring Lounge, and when I say this shit was packed? I mean, this shit was thick, shoulder to shoulder, people trying to dance with little to no space. VIP was full of the Carter boys. I’m not just talking the brothers; they had cousins, close friends, and other music artists that filled up the VIP booths while everyone else looked on in amazement. Elijah had girls dancing on him, while the rest of the brothers danced behind a girl. Tyree, of course, kept an eye out for Ontrell, standing on the side with his arms folded across his chest.
Then there was Trent. Focusing my attention back to him, I sighed. How the fuck can you tell me one night we should think about being together again? You’re the only one that’s been by my side. You’re a constant in my life. We have so much history . . . Then! The ex-girlfriend shows up, and you forget that I’m here. Fuck you, nigga!
“Hey, you trying to dance, pretty lady?” a guy asked, hand on my lower back as I turned around to look up at him.
I shook my head no, and he put his hands up in defeat before moving on to the next girl. I wasn’t interested in dancing with no one. I just kept my eyes hard on Trent, who had all the girls surrounding him in his wheelchair. I mean, of course I was looking cute with my blue body con dress on and my hair in a twist-out with the big hoop earrings, but I felt like it was all for nothing when the main nigga I wanted barely noticed me as he was surrounded by other women.
“Yo, we about to play this for my boy, Trent Carter! He just officially graduated college!” the DJ called out. “I see ya over there getting it on, playa! We about to drop this for the ladies! I want y’all to show him some love!” The song switched to Usher’s “I Don’t Mind” as girls started putting their hands up with a series of, “Dis my song, beetch!”
Rolling my eyes, I was about to walk toward Trent before feeling a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, seeing his ex-girlfriend shaking her head at me. She was a little shorter than me, with her locs hanging freely and wearing a red dress with gold heels. I nearly smacked her fucking hand off me.
“What the fuck you got to say?” I snapped, turning fully to Jade, giving her that warning look. “We not cool like that.”
“Yo, first off, we will never be cool. You slept with my nigga. Second, I was trying to stop you from making a fool of yourself like you did at the hospital.” She laughed sarcastically. “Let that nigga be, ma. He’s not interested in you, and he’s not interested in getting back with me. That nigga likes attention and for women to feed that ego. If you let him get to you like that, then the only person that’s going to lose in the end is your mama. That’s all I’m saying.” She shrugged. “I’m not trying to fight or argue with you, because I’m not trying to fuck nobody up tonight. I was just helping you out.”
Swallowing my emotions, I turned to look back at Trent, seeing him kissing on some girl who was barely covered. “He said he wanted to be with me when he was at the hospital,” I said to her as she stood next to me, blunt in hand.
She just shook her head, looking at me before passing it my way. I took a strong pull, needing to calm my nerves before passing it back to her.
“Yeah, the nigga told me he was in love with me and was going to work on getting me back, but do you see me putting any thought behind a man’s words?” she asked knowingly. “Actions speak louder than words. ’Specially with a man. Always remember that. We here at this party that cost thirty dollars to get in, and we got in for free! There are mad niggas in here that are looking for a broad to fuck with, and you bitching over the one nigga who hasn’t glanced your way.” She laughed.
One of her guy friends stepped up toward me. He was a tall, lanky guy, smiling hard as hell at me. “Come dance with me, shawty,” he said, hand out.
I smiled. “Nigga, I don’t even know you. I look like I could break yo’ li’l ass in half,” I said as they laughed. He just licked his lips at me, adjusting his fitted cap.
“I’m not intimidated, shawty. I prefer my women thick like you. Come dance with me, and I’ll show you just how easy I can handle you,” he said smoothly.
“Oooh! KD putting that game on her!” one of the other boys yelled out over the music as Jade laughed. “Nigga spitting that crack!”
“Go have fun, ma. Let that nigga go. Trent is a dog-ass nigga and will always be one until someone does the same shit to him,” Jade said, waving me off with her friend.
Looking back at KD, I decided to let him lead me out to the main dance floor. Without so much as a glance back, it was time to move on from Trent. I was done chasing behind that nigga. I’d been doing it for years, and I was tired of running. Let this be the end of my story.
Michael
“We them boys in the hood, sell anything for profit!” I yelled, going along with the song as I drove down the dark streets, trying to head up to Shiloh’s house. I was feeling good, just got back from this dope-ass party. I got some head from some random ho in the club who was all for it. I had a little buzz and a high going. Life was straight. Money was not an issue. After robbing this dumb-ass nigga who was getting too old to see when niggas was trying to come up from underneath him, I blew my share on the strip club, a new whip, and clothes. Olivia had to pay back some people, but my share was strictly blown on materialistic shit.
Hearing my phone go off, I glanced at it, seeing my home boy Kev was calling me. “What’s good? I’m almost there,” I answered, whipping the Mustang like I stole it down a street. It was early Saturday morning, probably like three something, and niggas was still out, trying to make that money, fuck a bitch, or just continue on with their high. Regardless, people were out.
“Something ain’t right with this nigga Mayes,” Kev said, sounding worried.
I snorted. Just about everyone was scared of Shiloh Carter. Nah, not me. I just stole a hundred thousand dollars from his ass and almost fucked his bitch. I was far from scared.
“I’m almost there. Chill out, nigga.” I laughed. “Find yo’ balls and man up.”
“Fuck you,” he spat as I laughed, hearing him hang up. It didn’t make sense that a grown man was scared of another man.
When I came to the last house on the street, I could see cars parked as I pulled mine to the side. Getting out with my coat on, I smiled at my new whip. I was loving my Mustang. You know how many bitches I pulled with this car? Man!
“Life is good.” I smiled to myself before walking toward the small house.
Shiloh had at least four places that I knew of where he could stay. This one was for everyone to stay and hang out at, mostly for the high-school niggas who were trying to bang under him. The one next to Noelle was just a place he went to when he wanted to be alone, but I knew he had a big, fancy-ass house somewhere up north. I hadn’t seen it, but I heard about that shit.
Walking up to the black door, I pulled it back, already smelling that thick, powerful shit. Music was playing, with a few of the girls sitting in the corner, rolling joints and talking, all of them banging to the right. They had tattoos on their faces and arms, and they were as rough as men. I kept on walking past the kitchen, and I spotted Shiloh sitting on the chair in sweats, with a hoodie on, smoking. My eyes immediately went to the three black shoeboxes on the table. Shit!
He just watched me with low eyes before sitting up. “Nigga, sit the fuck down,” he said, blowing smoke from his mouth.
I took a seat, glancing at Kev, who shrugged. “What’s good, big homie? You looking like you stressed.” I laughed, trying to play it cool.
“I am, nigga. These females about to run me to the grave, I swear,” he said, shaking his head. “I ain’t never been this off my game.”
“Noelle still didn’t admit she took yo’ money, huh?” I asked knowingly.
He cut his eyes
at me hard, and I immediately wished I could take it back. Shit!
“Nah,” he said slowly, leaning back in his seat, taking another pull. “I need you to take care of something for me, though. That’s why I called you two here. I’m about to—”
“Aye! Look at this nigga carrying a thong in his pocket!” someone yelled out.
I quickly turned around, feeling one of the young niggas pull Noelle’s black thong out of my pocket, laughing. “You wearing thongs now, Mayes?”
“Lemme see! It’s probably some girl’s thong. Let me smell that shit!” another asked as they started tossing it around.
“Y’all quit playing!” I screamed, fighting, trying to get it back.
“Ohh! Yo, I swear to God, this got Shiloh’s name on it!” another yelled.
My heart stopped. I felt like all the air escaped from my chest as everything came to a hard silence.
“Bruh, what?” Shiloh retorted as he stood up.
They all started crowding around the boy with the thong, while Shiloh stood off to the side, face confused. Kev looked at me with his eyes wide, shaking his head like he was about to try to escape from even being associated with me.
“Yeah, see, that shit says Shiloh on the tag,” one said, showing Shiloh, who cut the light on.
“Yo, cut the music off. Cut that shit off!” he snapped, and the music became silent.
Everyone started looking at me as I backed up, watching Shiloh look at the thong before glancing at me.
“What you doing with my girl’s panties, nigga?” he asked.
“Oh, shit,” someone mumbled as Shiloh tossed the thong to the side, along with the blunt, and stepped to me.
“I didn’t—”
“I bought her this, and she put my name on it in front of me, so ain’t no fucking mistake in who they belong to. So again, what the fuck are you doing with Noelle’s shit in yo’ back pocket?” he screamed, fists balling up.
